I really have trouble displaying dominance in lane phase, whenever I go in to trade I lose, when I go to cs I lose tons of hp....I just don't know how to be the Aggressor and not the Defender...does anyone have tips for me please?
mmmmm 
my baby. Well I practiced her a lot pre season and can now brag about my 15 - 5 ranked stats that helped me climb to plat. See needs a lot of things to go right. She does not fare well if you fall behind. I do almost the exact same thing every game vs match ups that aren't hell on earth (talking about 
)
Flask and wait for 4th pot (extra mana pot if easy lane or 4 hp pots for sustain. The goal is to sustain harass you will almost always take because Irelia early game is pretty poor.
Start W for people you can't touch early (ranged harassers like 
) and start E against melee lane bullies 
. If they go hard on you trying to harass stunning them in your minion wave lvl 1-3 will almost always win you the trade. That's about as aggressive as I get. Almost every time I end up letting them shove me under my turret which doesn't matter because of your Q. Sometimes I even get the stun by Qing to minion and Eing them for the brief second they have turret aggro while harassing. While under your turret you are safe from lvl 3 jungle ganks and I end up getting ganks from my jungler often just because they shove me in. I end up with around even CS and sometimes a decent lead because they only focused on harass and missed some. Don't forget to stay topped off with all your pots, don't be stingy and stay around 75% hp to stop them from all inning you.
Once you burn all your charges you should have around 800-1500g (hopefully). This may be preference, but I'm just a 
kind of a guy.
bad back = 
ready to kill back =
godlike back =
At this point you should be around lvl 6. Since you played passive for the most part aggression may catch them off guard, but this is good. lvl 6 you are at a big power spike even if you had a bad back (just less kill pressure). Now you can show the dominance and aggression. Start a trade yourself, but just a minor trade to feel them out. This is something that you have to learn and no one can straight up tell you, it's just part of learning how to lane. Just go in to see what happens ya know? If you end up losing, flask up.
Just test your limits. Try simply walking up to them and going all in without the stun @ lvl 6 with Sheen and there are not many champs you will lose that against.
It's based on which champ you play and what role. If you are a Melee vs a ranged then you'll be on defensive till 6 or so. Keep track of your enemy's cool downs and keep track of the cs they want to farm while keeping track of your own cs. If you are losing trades just don't trade. If you are losing hp when u go in to farm you have to resort to using spells to farm
Buy a flask, and Q minions when their life is low. If the enemy comes to attack you, just use your E on them, activate W, hit them once, Q them once, and then back off. Irelia is meant to be at a lower health than her enemies so she can constantly stun them. It's actually a good thing to take harass once in awhile.
Thanks so much for the advice. I play many champions but hopefully I can learn this one more.
EDIT: one real problem I have is when I screw up, the team can be very belittling, discouraging me to stick to the champion. One of which was 
I thought i was average with him, and then i went through a tilt where I was absolutely outclassed by everyone and so many harsh things were said, I couldn't muster the courage to continue him on SR.
