LF carry out

I am b3 and rapidly declining I have over 900 games logged in this elo, I have been b1 I dont know how many times know yesterday I was playing demotion promotion between b2 and b3 so im looking for a smurf to literally carry me into s5 thats all I want is out of bronze elo hell. I know all you higher guys will say well theres no elo hell, no league gets better etc. but thats a lie because silver might still be the same gameplay and have alot of afks feeds trolls its not as bad as bronze, bronze is almost every 1 out of 2 games you get fucked. I have plat friends who tell me I would be in gold if I didnt have so many games stacked against me to fuck my mmr. I am that 1 player in bronze that actually IS stuck in that bullshit cycle