Uniting Runeterra

Inspired by the thread about conquering Runeterra, here’s my plan for uniting it as peacefully as possible instead.

1. Preparation Establish a secret society of radical Piltovian intellectuals and their sympathizers in the leadership of major clans. Its purpose: organizing the reform of the oligarchy into a republic.

2. Protest Having amassed enough hard cash and political favor, spread word of mouth about the society and its goal to lesser power players in Piltover and Zaun. Remind the people of both societies that their government had aggrieved them and pay activists to devote themselves to turning raw rage into demonstrations that will force the government to accede to their demands.

3. Reform Having made Piltover a republic, order a trusted historian to write a book detailing this effort as a how-to guide for other oppressed people. Meanwhile, constitute a government of laws, with a legislature and executive and judiciary. Turn the secret society into a political party, letting old hands who just wanted change retire and be replaced by young and fervent politicians.

4. Nukes. Through the newly founded government, found a Strategic Weapons Agency to hire Heimerdinger and Jayce and every other Hextechnical genius in the city to develop a nuclear-equivalent weapon. Order the agency to build several underground factories to mass-produce it, rockets to deliver it, and vehicles to carry the rockets. Inform the world of these weapons.

5. Negotiation Ask the nations of Runeterra to unite, quietly threatening those who refuse with the nuclear obliteration of their Capitol. Preside over the drafting of a resolution establishing a world government, ending war.

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There, Runeterra united without a shot fired.