My feedback on "The Echoes Left Behind" by Anthony Reynolds

In general the story was immersive. Mainly because there's so much detail, which brings me to my first point. I get it Anthony, everything's blackened and shadowy. I just wish there was more variety in the way that was expressed.

The info dump at the start doesn't feel so heavy because a lot of details are withheld until later in the story. The author lets us have a taste, like an appetizer. I like it, helped to keep me interested through the exposition.

I like the vivid way that movement is described, some movements are less fluid than others. For example, when the main character is running away and jumps down a cliff it felt choppy compared to the fluid action during the fight.

There's a lot of really obvious juxtaposition, too obvious for my taste but that's a personal thing. I do appreciate that it grows less and less obvious as the story goes on, just felt like I was getting pummeled in the face with it right at the start.

Again I would've appreciated more variety in the way Reynolds described things, a lot of it was telling you something exists then describing how it's not what you'd expect. I get that might be an artistic choice, because the consistency with which it's done might be saying something on its own (perhaps the cyclical nature of the main characters waking).

Just a couple mistakes, I think I noticed one place where there needed to be a space and one word that didn't fit. As far as I know defile is to ruin something, and not a place where you can land after jumping off a cliff. No mistakes that'd pull you out of the story, unless you're hypersensitive.

I liked the story overall, I think it could've been improved by one more edit, and by a little less in your face symbolism. For another example when Reynolds describes the pendant, I can figure out that two intertwined roses represent the lovers. I don't need the author to explicitly tell me that.