Urgot eats you via wood chipper preceded by impalement, so no thanks.
Tahm Kench would leave you alive only to feast on the misery he causes you in the long term, don't want to do that.
Markus screamed as the steersman’s hooded robe collapsed, revealing that this was not a man at all, but a writhing nest of innumerable spiders given the semblance of a man. They fell upon him in their thousands, and his screams were choked to muffled grunts as they crawled into his mouth, clogged his ears and burrowed behind his eyes.
Elise swung into view above him, borne aloft by the jointed limbs at her back. She was no longer beautiful, no longer even human. Her features were alight with a ferocious hunger that could never be sated. The looming form of her monstrous spider god lifted Markus from the ground with its razored mandibles.
“You have to die now, Markus,” said Elise.
From Strand by Silken Strand, Elise's color story. No thank you.
Evelynn is literally a demon of agony, it would not be fun.
I don't think large cats always eat their pray dead, so I may be ripped to pieces and eaten alive.
Cho'Gath would likely eat me whole and with the most speed out of everyone here. I choose Cho'Gath.