No seriously. Thank you. Thanks for this amazing story. Also noticed you created the Camille story and Star Guardian story, which also are beautifully written. Extraordinary. Ladies & Gentleman, this could very well be the cure for cancer. [sg-ezreal]
Love the positivity, though I can't be sure I can give full credit, myself. This story left a lot to be desired from a characterization standpoint, the Camille story was too heavy-handed to one narrative side, and the Star Guardian story is classic mahou shoujo, so I'm not sure how much credit we can give for that. (Though I will give credit for adapting that very distinctive storytelling style to League.)
Specifically, in regards to Camille, I didn't care for the little sub-narratives that were jammed in specifically to drive home that the nihilistic worldview was the correct one. Take the part where the young woman is swept up in her love for this guy who we're told is corrupt and cares nothing for her. First, I question why a young aristocrat woman would expect a blissful marriage in the first place. In the real world, even today, the very wealthy tend to have their marriages arranged for money or political clout. Why would Zaun be different? Why would she not have been groomed for such a thing from the start?
Next, the idea that men are evil, preying on poor, naive young women... That was just driving home another real world chicanery. What purpose did it serve? It didn't build upon Zaun's lore. It didn't reveal any insight into Camille's understanding of events. It didn't even leave any doubt. A chance for us to think, "But wait, what if he really did love her? What if they would have been happy together? Did Camille make a decision here that ruined this woman's life?"
Instead, we're told that the girl simply doesn't understand the world. We're told that Camille did her a favor. If this is the status quo in Zaun, why is Camille fighting it in the first place? The only purpose that entire subplot served was to reinforce empty nihilism. To make Camille look like a cold, calculating badass. I like Camille, but she suffers from another example of what I discuss in this thread, and the lore is partially to blame for that.
