I Fixed The Ahri Splash Art (Professional Artist)

((This is a silly parody topic. It is not meant to offend anybody. It's a joke, I'm not actually mad that people are discussing the Ahri splash so much.))

Hi. I'm LordHippoman, professional Artist. When I was in the Fifth Grade, my art teacher told me I should stop coloring everything Orange and Green. That's when I set out to change the art world. I have spent a year in my secret underground laboratory perfecting the perfect splash art for Ahri, and I think you'll all agree, once you put those eyes back in your head...am I right?

So, the changes I made are pretty complex, so I'll outline them:

-I have given her a monocle on one eye and an eyepatch on the other. This should help when Riot decides to make the Gentleman and Pirate Ahri skins. I will be expecting 10% of purchases, Riot.

-I decided to give her a third ear, to illustrate better how Ahri finds her foes on the battlefield. Echolocation.

-To appeal to the ever popular "90's Kid" demographic, I have given Ahri a sweet thunderbolt tattoo on her leg. That way she can be "hip" and "radical". Focus groups responded by chugging Tang and Mountain Dew.

-Since the future is now, and the future is grimdark, I have decided to make Ahri's ball very angry. The angst of her ball propels her character into a new direction. The future direction.

-I added Mr. T so Ahri could be officially celebrity endorsed. It worked for World Of Warcraft, which is still online (I think, I didn't check).

In exchange for usage rights of my sick splash art, I would like to request the following of Riot Games:

-6 RP so I can gift my friend Lollipoppy. Again. -Please Nerf Yasuo, I hate him. -A small statue of me on Summoner's Rift. I will pose. Nudity optional. -A chicken sandwich to make up for the money I spent purchasing Microsoft Paint.