The Juggernaut Club: Part 27

Corki is diving at the cafe, gaining speed and force with every passing second!

Seeing him, both Tristana and Rumble point to the sky.

: LOOK OUT!

: CORKI'S FINALLY GONE OFF THE DEEP END! HE'S SUICIDE-DIVING THE CAFE!

: Hmm?

Garen turns around, and sees Corki diving in his direction as Tristana and Rumble run off.

: Take THIS, dumb human! Bombs Away! (He doesn't know who it is yet, as he hasn't gotten close enough to recognize him.)_

Corki fires one of the missiles from his Ult! Unfortunately for him, it's a dud (But he doesn't know that). It nonetheless goes flying out of the cannon in the direction of Garen.

The missile hits right in Garen's face, producing a cloud of smoke!

: DIRECT HIT!

Corki stops his dive a couple of feet above the ground, and pumps his fists in jubilation. But this turns to disappointment and confusion as the smoke clears, and the missile falls harmlessly off of Garen's face, it not even having left a bruise on him. He simply coughs with his eyes dimmed in displeasure.

: What the!? What Delta Sierra bonehead loaded my ROFLcopter this morning with duds!?

Tristana and Rumble, who were hiding behind the rubble of the Cafe walls, poke their heads out of their hiding place.

: Who was assigned today?

: TEEMO WAS!

(Under his breath): That explains the dud...

Raucous laughter is then heard. However, even though everyone looks at him, it's not Garen that's laughing. He's just calmly dusting himself off from the smoke and dust residue. Instead, it's Ziggs!

: HAAHAHAHA! Maybe THAT'll learn ya to respect my hexplosives, you wannabe Aviator!

Corki shakes his fist at Ziggs.

: You maniacal buffoon! YOU'RE responsible for switching my missiles!? Don't you realize the city is under attack by a human!?

: You mean Garen? I heard his little "outburst" while he was "greeting" Rumble over there. He's not the one attacking around here.

Garen smiles. He's glad to that at least SOMEONE among the Yordles had the brains to realize he meant no harm.

Ziggs then pulls out one of his bombs.

: Besides, I didn't do it! I just "Suggested" the idea to Teemo! And the one attacking around here is you! So, Mr. Whiskey Delta, here's how a REAL explosive should work!

Ziggs tosses his bomb at Corki, who quickly tries to move out of the way, which causes it to roll in Garen's direction, who instinctively kicks it away like a Soccer Ball, sending it in the direction of another building, and it explodes, leveling it! Corki points at the building.

: NOW look what you've gone and done! You went and leveled Poppy's old blacksmith shop!

: Ehh, she ain't here! Who cares!? Now stand still!

Ziggs throws another bomb at Corki, who dodges. The explosive damages Rumble's crashed Mech-Suit, causing it to malfunction, firing his ult rockets (The Equalizer) into the air.

(Under his breath): THOSE ones better not be duds...

The missiles now turn around, and start diving for the ground, as Corki and Ziggs start firing missiles, and throwing bombs at one another, respectively.

: YOU IDIOTS ARE GOING TO PISS OFF TEEMO!

: I ain't sticking around for that! OR THOSE MISSILES!

Rumble gets up and runs as Tristana hides back behind her cover. Garen runs behind the rubble of the blacksmith shop for cover.

KABOOM!

When the dust clears, Corki's ROFLcopter is trashed, with Corki unconscious on the ground. A small distance away from him, Ziggs is also out cold. The cafe is nothing more than cinders now.

: Ooh, Teemo's not gonna like this...

: Nor is Heimerdinger, and I'm not exactly happy either. That's the ONLY place in town that sold my specially-made "Purple Drink"!

: GAH! Where'd YOU come from!?

Yes, somehow in all the chaos, Lulu had snuck in amongst the many onlookers. But in response to Tristana's question, Lulu just shrugs her shoulders.

: Oh, who knows? Maybe...

She smiles evilly

: The darkest depths of your imagination.

Tristana looks disgusted.

: Heck no! If that fits anyone's description, it's Teemo!

: You called?

: WAH!

Teemo appeared behind Tristana as she said his name, lightly putting his hand on her shoulder and whispering the above into her ear. In the next few seconds, he finds himself staring down the barrel of her cannon. Tristana shakes as she tries to regain her composure.

: DON'T DO THAT!

Teemo lightly pushes the barrel off his face while laughing his signature laugh.

: Do what? I was just playing "Hide and Seek" with Lulu...

: And besides, who do you think I was referring to when I said " The darkest depths of your imagination"? You? No way!

: Something like you, from MY Darkest depths, Lulu? Oh, you have no idea what goes on in MY head...

He sounds off his signature laugh once again as he slowly turns to see the devastation around them.

: Who, pray tell, is responsible for THIS...?

Lulu, not having been present for the whole thing, sees Garen, and playfully points at him. She's simply pointing him out because she sees him, not because she thinks he did it. But Teemo doesn't take it that way.

: The Justice-Man!

Garen shoots Lulu the most intimidating version of the Evil Eye that he can come up with. Teemo then turns to Garen.

: Target locked...

Both Tristana and Lulu run off in fear as Teemo looks at Garen evilly.

Garen stands up, determined to show THIS Yordle that HE isn't going to be intimidated.

The two approach, and then standoff, Old Wild Western Duel style.

Teemo loads his blowgun. Garen picks up a rock.

Teemo prepares to fire as Garen throws his rock!

The rock flies right into the opening of Teemo's blowgun, plugging it!

This causes it to backfire, making the dart flow backwards into Teemo's mouth!

: Sounds of Gagging

With him thus occupied, Garen runs up and tackles Teemo to the ground with all his force, thus dislodging the dart and Teemo spits it out into the air!

: OOOF!

Teemo's eyes widen as Garen rears back a fist.

: I've been waiting a LONG TIME FOR THIS!

: I immediately regret this decis-

SMACK!

Garen starts pounding the tar out of Teemo, akin to what he did to Xin back in Demacia.

Later, Heimerdinger is seen walking along towards the cafe in Bandle City, and as he rounds a corner, he sees...

The cafe is destroyed, as well as a few other buildings, and amongst the ruins is Rumble's Mech-Suit, and Corki's crashed and trashed ROFLcopter! Garen is sitting on-top of the ROFLcopter, with an unconscious and badly beaten up Teemo as his foot-rest. (The pose he is sitting in is similar to Mundo's pose in his "Toxic Dr. Mundo" splash art.) An unconscious Corki, as well as Ziggs are nearby, sprawled out on the charred ground.

Heimerdinger approaches, slowly and carefully.

: My, my! What befuddling thing has brought the master of judicatory actions to Bandle City? And besides that, what happened to the Cafe?

Garen slowly turns and looks at Heimerdinger.

: Do you REALLY want to know?

To Be Continued...