Adolescence and The Scent of Lilac -- Champion Origin Story: Khada Jhin
Summery: Khada Jhin is a meticulous criminal psychopath that believes that murder is an art form. For years, he struck terror into the hearts of Ionians with his twisted performances. But in his youth, before he became the Golden Demon, he was simply the son of a martial arts master. He worked hard to uphold his honored family name, bring acclaim to the school his father created, and train to unlock the secrets of his art. However, deep in his heart, the boy harbored a dark secret; a secret that bloomed like a flower in the dawn.
This is a story of burdens, youth, and a girl who smells of lilac.
Adolescence and The Scent of Lilac
The blade of my wooden sword cut through the air in a graceful arc, and struck home at the chest of my enemy for the third time. My enemy in this case was a yuewood training dummy, which trembled greatly as my blade struck it. I drew back to my starting position, unsatisfied.
Not good enough...again.
I ran through the form again, pushing my body to achieve perfection. Once again, my blade carved the air, and once again I struck my target dead in the heart. I withdrew, panting from the strain of the four hour training session, and wiped the sweat from my brow. I had run through the form four times. I finally felt satisfied. Father always said it was not perfect unless done four times. I looked around the empty dojo. The rest of the students had already been dismissed for the day and returned to their respective dormitories. I decided to stay behind. I wanted to practice my forms a little while longer, and father had tasked me with putting away the training weapons. Imitating the traditional way of sheathing one’s sword, I bowed to my opponent; more out of habit then necessity. Placing my sword on the floor for the moment, I picked up the heavy training dummy and placed it against the wall with the others. Walking back over to the wooden sword, I grabbed it off the floor and strode over to the others to start my cleaning duties. When I reached the stack of practice weapons, I took up a rag, then sighed as the faint scent of lilac caught my attention. I spoke loudly to the empty room behind me.
“I know you’re there Kotori.”
Glancing behind me, I saw a girl’s face poking into the room. Her eyes were wide with shocked incredulity.
“How do you always know when I’m here?”
I turned to face her fully, unable to keep the exasperation from my voice.
“Because you’re always here.”
Kotori stepped out from behind the open doorway and came inside the dojo. As always, she was wearing the service robes of her mother’s tea shop. Her glossy black hair flowed down to the small of her back, and was tied near the bottom with a blue ribbon. Her almond-shaped, bright hazel eyes glanced around the dojo in slight awe.
“I still can’t over how pretty this place is. No matter how many times I see it.”
I shake my head and turn back to my task at hand, polishing the finger marks off of the training weapons.
“You know you’re not supposed to be here. Father doesn’t allow anyone except students inside the dojo.”
“I know, I know. But since he won’t accept me as a student, how else am I supposed to get in?”
“You’re not.”
Kotori made a grunting noise as she stuck her tongue out at me behind my back. “If father finds you here again, I’m not going to make an excuse for you.” I said, plainly.
Father had caught Kotori in the dojo once before when she had decided to pay me an unexpected visit. She got a very stern lecture, and my father is not one to fool about when it comes to his rules. Apparently, the memory of this was still fresh in Kotori’s mind because I could hear the nervous tremors in her voice.
“It-it’ll be fine. You guys are done for the day, so he shouldn’t be coming back….right?”
I turned to look at her, eyebrow raised.
“Who knows? Perhaps he wants to come back to check up on…”
I trail off and look over Kotori’s shoulder. My face turns steely and I stand rigidly straight, bowing at the waist. My voice is low and grave as I whisper.
“Father...”
With my eyes firmly fixed upon the floor in front of me, I only catch the glimpse of motion as Kotori whirls around with a horrified squeal. After a brief moment, I raise my head. There is still only the two of us in the dojo. Kotori turns on me and stamps her foot, her face screwed up in anger. But laughter shone in her eyes.
“That wasn’t funny!”
“Oh?” I ask calmly, a smirk playing at the edges of my mouth. “I thought it was rather amusing.”
Defiantly, Kotori crosses her arms in front of her chest, glaring daggers at me. Her anger is quickly forgotten though as she glances behind me and sees the several dozen weapons I have to polish. Her expression softens.
“Hey, do you want any help with that? That looks like a lot…”
I shake my head, but give her a polite smile.
“Thank you, but I will manage just fine. I work quickly. But it would really be better if you go.”
Her lips pursed in a small pout, but she nodded.
“Okay. Will you stop by the shop when you’re done? I’ll ask my mom to make you up a plate of your favorite dumplings.”
I nodded in agreement, my smile widening.
“Of course. I will be sure to work up quite the appetite by then.”
Kotari beamed at me. “Alright. See you!”
With a little wave, her slender form darted from the room and out of sight. After she left, the friendly smile I had on my face vanished, replaced by my usual expression of blank neutrality. Had she not come to bother me every day since she moved next door to my father and I six years ago, I doubt that I would have ever learned her name. Interacting with people could be so tiresome, but with her, it was almost like a chore. I didn’t mind it so terribly though. It wasn’t a bother, at least. Shaking my head, I returned to my task at hand.
The hallways of the large temple were bathed in a broken golden light as I made my way towards my father’s chambers. The sun had begun to set, and the famous mountains of the Zhyun province shattered the sunlight with their enormous forms. Upon reaching the door to my father’s chambers, I found them shut tightly. He was in the midst of meditating. I knelt by the left door and waited patiently. After a few moments, the stern yet gentle voice of my father bade me to enter.
“Come.”
I slid the left door open, still remaining on my knees. My father knelt with his back to me in a dark room. Tall and broad shouldered, he sat cross-legged on a meditation pillow. His hair resembled my own, dark brown and short cropped, naturally spiking outwards. Even from where I knelt, I felt the power and strength radiating from him. He was truly formidable. I waited to be addressed before I spoke.
“Yes, my son?”
“Father.” Even though he could not see me, I bowed low as a sign of respect to both an elder as well as my master. “My cleaning tasks for the evening have been completed. With your permission, I would like to visit the Himura’s tea shop tonight.”
My father was quiet for a long moment. He hadn’t moved since I had opened the door. Then, after almost a half a minute of silence.
“Have you had any visions today?”
“No.”
The moment the word left my lips, I knew my father could tell I was lying. His head turned towards me, and even in the darkness, I could see the extraordinarily deep amber eyes we both shared flick towards me. He didn’t say anything more, giving me the opportunity to correct my own error. Father was incredibly strict, but he was always fair. I swallowed, then changed my answer.
“...Yes.”
My father’s head turned back to face forward. “Of whom was it?”
“...The baker’s boy. He was talking about the birds and how he always wanted to fly.”
I fell silent, guilt fighting the excitement inside me. My father spoke again after a moment.
“What did you see.”
“I...I stripped the flesh from his back and made them his wings. And then I took his arms away. They were unnecessary. And I also took his legs. Then he flew. And it was…”
I forced myself to stop. I was getting too excited, and I know it would upset Father. For as long as I could remember, I’ve had these...visions. I would see a curtain rise in my mind, and then I would see myself murdering people in such vicious and violent ways. I know I should have felt horror or revulsion by the things I’ve seen but they aren’t horrible to me at all. To me, they feel pure and right. They were some of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. At first, I was afraid of what I was seeing, and I told father. He tried to help me rid myself of them, but as I grew older, the visions only grew stronger. And I grew to hate them less.
After hearing my almost enraptured confession, Father turned to face me. His face was lined and heavy, much unlike mine. His brow was furrowed, and I could see frustration and worry in his eyes.
“...You know the things you see are not normal. You should not be thinking like this.”
“Yes. I know.” I said, blankly.
I have heard this a thousand times over, and a thousand times again. I knew the thoughts I had were wrong and horrible, but I could not stop having them, no matter how hard I tried. Every night, I meditate while burning spirit sage; the strongest herb to ward off evil thoughts and spirits, but to no avail. But I still try, for my father’s sake.
As if he could sense my thoughts, my father’s expression softened. He stood and walked over to kneel beside me, placing a strong hand on my shoulder.
“You are my beloved son. I want you to live a happy and peaceful life, free of these vile thoughts. I will do whatever it takes to make that so.”
I look up at my father and offer a sad smile. “I know, father. I am trying. In fact, a distraction would lessen the burden on my mind.”
My father nodded in agreement, and cracked a rare smile. “As long as you bring me back some of Ms. Himura’s bean paste buns.”
“I think I can manage that.”
It only took me a few minutes to make my way down the slope, through the temple gate, and into the village square below. Stopping in front of a modest-looking shop with a sign that read Tian-shang Tearoom & Bakery, I knocked a few times. Kotori’s voice soon answered me, muffled through the door.
“What’s the password?”
I frowned. “Password?”
“Yeah. You can’t get in without the password.”
I was perplexed. I had no idea what she was referring to. Kotori often played games like this, and sprung them on me at the last moment. Usually, I was reluctant to play along, but after the uncomfortable conversation I’d had with my father, I was more willing than usual.
“Alright, fine. Do I at least get a hint?”
“You have to finish the line from the poem.”
I smiled. One of the things that Kotori and I had in common was our love for the arts; poetry, paintings, plays, we loved them all. As irritating as she could be, I didn’t hate the time we spent discussing our favorite works of art.
“Let’s hear it then.”
There was a moment of silence, but I could make out the faint sound of parchment rustling. Then…
“Each piece of flying blossom leaves the spring less, I grieve as myriad points float in the wind. I watch-”
I didn’t even allow her to finish as I began reciting.
“I watch the last ones move before my eyes, And I cannot have enough wine pass my lips. Kingfishers nest by the little hall on the river, Celestials lie at the high tomb’s enclosure.”
The door opened. Kotori stood in the doorway, looking both annoyed and impressed.
“Okay, okay, I get it! You can come in already!”
I held up one finger, bidding her to wait, and finished reciting the poem.
“Having studied the world, one must seek joy, For what use is the trap of passing honour?”
Kotori gave me a less than enthusiastic round of applause and muttered, “Show off…” But stood aside and let me, smiling.
“I didn’t think you were going to make it. What took you so long?”
I stepped inside, saying “Pardon the intrusion.” Then I bowed my head to Kotori apologetically.
“I’m sorry. I ended up having a conversation with my father.”
Kotori’s fingers jumped to her lips and her face creased with worry.
“It...it wasn’t about this afternoon, was it?”
I nodded at her gravely, putting on my most convincing mask of solemn importance.
“That is actually why I am here. My father wants to see you...now.”
For a very brief moment, actual panic flashed in Kotori’s eyes. But as she saw a muscle twitch in my lip, she caught on to the joke.
“Ugh, you’re teasing me again!”
I let my mask fall, giving her a pleasant smile.
“Well, I would stop if you did not make it so easy.”
Taking my eyes off the happily annoyed Kotori, I glanced around the empty tea shop. It was a very classic Southern Ionian style tea shop. The tables were low to the ground, and cushioned stools were provided instead of chairs. The stools were wide enough that the patrons could sit or kneel in any position that they wished. The walls were coated with sanded limestone, giving the shop a constant pleasant glowing aura. There were a few plants scattered around the room to give it some live ambiance, and there were several paintings from well-known artists hung on the walls--copies, of course. As it was pretty late in the evening, the tea shop was closed. I stepped towards a painting I haven’t seen before in the tea-shop; a beautiful black and white minimalist brush art depicting two spirits; one a lamb, and the other a wolf.
“This is new.”
“Is that him?”
I hear a loud and genial voice calling from the kitchens in the back. A few moments later, a tall and slender woman enters the main room. It was just like I was looking at an aged version of Kotori. The same glossy black hair as her daughter was done up into a simple yet elegant bun, but her eyes were a shade darker than her daughters. Her young face was lined more than it ought to have been for someone as young as her, but the youthful gleam in her eyes dismissed her tired appearance. I smiled and bowed low at the waist in a polite greeting.
“Ms. Himura, it is a pleasure, as always.”
Ms. Himura sighed and shook her head.
“One of these days, I will get you to stop being so formal and call me Ji-Ae properly.”
I straighten and shake my head in mock sadness.
“Alas, Ms. Himura, that day will not come. I have far too much respect for you to do that.”
It wasn’t all in jest. I did have great respect for the woman. When she was a young age, only a few years older than myself, she had fallen in love with a monk-in-training at the Hirana Monastery. As the Hirana monks were not allowed to marry and sworn to celibacy, they had to see each other in secret for months. Eventually, she had found out that she was pregnant with a little girl. However, the monks at the monastery had discovered the torrid affair. When confronted, the monk in training disavowed her and pledged his complete loyalty to the temple, abandoning her completely. With nothing to her name but her strength of will, she returned to her home village in Zhyun to have her child and live the best life that she could. I admired her for her strength and resolve.
Ms. Himura chuckled at my joke and turned back to the kitchen.
“I’ll go fetch those dumplings my daughter promised you. Would you like any tea as well?”
“Oolong, if it is not too much trouble. And I am sure your daughter will take jasmine.”
I had ordered for Kotori just as she had opened her mouth. She shot me a playfully dirty look. Ms. Himura chuckled again as she disappeared back into the kitchen. Kotori motioned to the nearest table and we each took a seat next to each other. She immediately got back onto the topic of poetry.
“I didn’t know you had read ‘Winding River’. Di Fu is one of my favorite poets. I especially like his early work. It has such a humanitarian feel about it, you know?”
I nodded in agreement. “He certainly has a sense of metaphor and contextualizing human emotion. However, I would actually say that I find his later work more compelling.”
I point to the book of poetry Kotori held in her arms and she relinquished it to me. Placing it on the table, I flipped to a poem near the back of the book.
“Here, ‘Moonlit Night’;
The moon shines in Navori tonight, In her chamber, she watches alone, I pity my distant boy and girl- They do not know why she thinks of Omikayalan. Her cloud-like hair is sweet with mist, Her jade arms cold in the clear moonlight. When shall we lean in the empty window, Together in darkness, and tears dried up?”
I finish reciting, and was about to delve into my explanation of why the poem’s structure and themes make his later work more prevalent than his early work when I stopped. I felt a pair of eyes on me, and looked to my left. Kotori was staring at me, her mouth slightly agape. My brow furrowed in confusion. “What is it?”
“Eh?” My speaking directly to her seemed to cause her to snap out of whatever trance she was in. A pink flush spread across her face as she quickly took her eyes off me and returned her gaze to the poetry book on the table. “N-nothing! You just...looked sort of...cool when you were reading, just now…”
By the end of her sentence, her voice got significantly quieter so I had to strain my ears to hear every word. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, so I just gave her a polite smile.
“You are too kind.”
Her face seemed to flush a deeper shade of pink, and she quickly turned to a different poem. “Um...how about this one?”
I looked down at the page. It was a relatively short poem; one of Di Fu’s darker and more melancholy works. I raised a curious brow at Kotori.
“You mean the poem about a husband abandoning his wife?”
“I...uhh…” She couldn’t seem to find the right words to say. Suddenly, she stood, her cheeks bright red. “I’m going to go check on mom!” She exclaimed before rushing off and disappearing into the kitchen.
I looked after her, bewildered. I had no idea why she had suddenly started acting so strange. I was unsure of what to do, so I simply sat and waited for Kotori to return. I could hear hushed whispers coming from the kitchen. I tried straining my ears to catch glimpses of their conversation, but just as I began to focus, Kotori and her mother both returned. Ms. Himura was grinning strangely, and carrying a tray holding a plate of steaming dumplings and medium sized bamboo container. Kotori trailed a little bit behind her mother, also carrying a tray, but with two steaming cups of tea. Her face was slightly less red, but she still looked embarrassed. I didn’t know why. Ms. Himura bent down low and placed the tray on the table before me.
“There you are, dear.” She motioned towards the bamboo container. “And those are my bean paste buns for your father. I know how he likes them.”
I smiled at her and inclined my head in thanks. “That is very much appreciated, thank you. I know he will be pleased.”
Kotori returned to her seat beside me, placing the tray of tea she was holding before her. She took one of the cups and put it on the tray of dumplings in front of me. She grinned sheepishly.
“Here’s your oolong. Please enjoy.”
I nodded my thanks at her. She was acting and speaking unusually formally. I looked curiously at Ms. Himura, but she was conveniently looking out of the window. The golden glow of the setting sun was tinted with an orange glow as it sunk lower in the sky. She stood and headed back towards the kitchen. “Well, I had best get to work on preparing the mocci for tomorrow. Enjoy the dumplings.” Flashing a curious look at her daughter, she disappeared into the kitchen once again. I glanced over at Kotori. Her eyes were fixed on her tea.
Silence fell between us. I decide to take a sip of my tea. It was a very nice flavor; bold but not overpowering. It was smooth and earthy, and would have complimented many pastries very well. But it wasn’t oolong.
“...I think you gave me your jasmine tea.”
Kotari froze, her own cup halfway to her lips. She looked down at her cup, then mine, her expression mortified. I could at least understand that. To work in a tea shop and not be able to tell the difference between two very distinct types of tea was a rather embarrassing mistake to make. I pitied her a little. I had no idea what had gotten her so flustered, but I supposed that I shouldn’t tease her about it. Instead, I simply took another sip of the jasmine tea and let it settle on my tongue a moment before swallowing it.
“You know, this is not that bad, jasmine tea.”
Kotori looked over at me, and I could see relief in her gaze. I gave her a reassuring smile.
“But this means that you have to try my oolong.”
She cocked an eyebrow and looked down at the liquid in her cup with mock apprehension.
“I know that you swear by this tea, but how can I know that you don’t just like strange tasting things?”
My only response was to take another sip of the jasmine tea and give her a look that meant Who knows? over my cup.
Rolling her eyes, Kotori brought the cup up to her lips and took a tentative sip. Her eyes widened in surprise. I could tell that she surprisingly enjoyed it, just as I enjoyed the jasmine.
“Well?” I await her final verdict.
She hums thoughtfully. “...It’s not bad...if you like weak tea.”
I knew she was trying to goad me into reacting. I didn’t care enough about such things to honestly react, but I thought I would play along for a while.
“I see. Well, I’m sure that taste buds as refined as your own can stand such weak tea if you can stomach the warm pond water that you left me with.”
“Oh yeah? I’ve smelled Etori toadstools better than this.”
We exchanged a few good-natured insults about our tea preferences until Ms. Himura’s pseudo-angry shout from the kitchen interrupted us.
“I’m sure that you are not talking about my brews!”
We both laughed. A small whiff of the dumplings in front of me, caused my stomach to remind me just how hungry I was. Reaching for the chopsticks that Ms. Himura provided me, I gladly bit into one of the dumplings. The explosion of flavor spread throughout my whole body. As always, the dumplings were absolutely divine. The perfect combination of salty and savory, soft and chewy, and every ingredient complimenting the other.
“You really like my mom’s dumplings, don’t you?”
Looking over at Kotori, I could see she was watching me and trying not to laugh. It appears my enjoyment was plain on my face. “Judging by how amused you look at my reaction, I think the answer to that is obvious.”
She chuckled. I suddenly felt very aware that I was the only one eating. It felt…rude somehow.
“Would you like to eat them with me? It feels almost criminal to keep such delicious morsels to myself.”
Kotori thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Sure. I’ll go grab another pair of chopsticks-”
“No need.” I offered her the ones currently in my hand. “We can just share these.”
As she looked at the chopsticks that I offered her, her face began to turn bright red again. I began to think that she had fallen ill at some point.
“Are you alright? Are you feeling sick?”
Kotori shook her head vigorously. She seemed to be deep in thought as she stared at the chopsticks. Then, appearing to steel herself against something, she took the chopsticks from me, picked up a dumpling, and placed it in her mouth. She beamed, as if she did something amazing. I was very confused by her behavior, albeit not for the first time. This was a strange evening to be sure, but it hadn’t been at all that bad. Kotori handed the chopsticks back to me and I snatched up another dumpling. I was very aware that Kotori was watching me. I felt slightly uncomfortable, but I surprised myself to find that I didn’t at all dislike the feeling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kotori touch her lips lightly and whisper something, then smile. I decided to reignite our previous conversation about poetry. We chatted contentedly as we ate the dumplings, discussing everything from poetry to the latest blooming playwrights.
At some point, I glanced at the window. The light from the sun was all but gone. I stood up from the table.
“It is getting late. I should probably think about heading back.”
Kotori, who had been thoroughly enjoying herself, looked slightly crestfallen.
“Can’t you stay a little longer?”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I’m assisting my father with a technique demonstration tomorrow.”
“Oh…” Her face fell. She looked like a wilting flower. I took up both empty tea cups, stacked the trays and moved to bring them to the kitchen. Kotori rose to stop me.
“You don’t have to do that! I can take those.”
I shake my head. “You and your mother worked very hard to make me feel welcome. This is the least I can do.”
I took the trays and made my way back to the kitchen. Ms. Himura was washing dishes busily in a wash basin when I entered. She turned and smiled at me.
“I see you enjoyed my dumplings as always. I can take those from you.”
I placed the trays on a nearby counter. “Do you need any help with the washing? I would be more than happy to-”
She cut me off with a wave. “We are just fine, but it is very kind of you to offer. It is getting pretty late, and I heard you say you had something important to do tomorrow.”
I nodded. “As always, thank you for having me.” I bowed myself out of the kitchen. Stopping by the table, I picked up the bean paste buns that were for my father, and turned to Kotari. “Thank you for inviting me. I shall see you later.”
Kotari nodded, but appeared to be struggling with something. “Ah...Um…”
I looked at her quizzically. “Yes?”
“Can…” She took a deep breath, and let her question rush out of her like a gust of wind. “Can I come by and watch your demonstration tomorrow?”
I shook my head, and offered her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but the demonstration is a lesson only for students.” She looked severely dejected at my answer. “Oh…”
I’m unsure as to what compelled me to say it, but some part of me hated seeing her like that.
“If you come by in the later afternoon, I can possibly show you some of my demonstration then.”
It was as if sun had risen inside of her, she beamed at me so brightly. Nodding happily, she agreed. I waved farewell to her and left the shop.
As I walked home in the brisk evening air, I thought back over the events of my evening. Not a single time did my thoughts present me with my dark theater; the macabre stage where murder is beautiful. Father always warned me not to get close to anyone. But…
Kotori’s beaming smile flashed in my mind.
“...What is this?”
The next day, I was in a very strange mood. I found that my lessons were easier to understand, my chores not as tedious, and my forms were more immaculate than ever. In the demonstration of the Broken Snake form my father had me practice, I performed so well that even he was surprised. The wooden blade I wielded was a blur as it flashed towards the yuewood target. I struck true, and the blade sunk a few inches into the wood. The other students gasped and exclaimed in awe, clearly impressed. Father was also rendered speechless for a few moments before nodding and granting me a rare smile.
As always, at the end of the lessons, we the students faced our master and bowed before being dismissed. I stood by my father’s side as the other students left. He placed a hand on my shoulder.
“You did well today. You have been working hard.”
I nodded. “It is as you always taught me; only perfection is acceptable.”
Father gave me an affectionate squeeze on my shoulder before lifting his hand.
“Once you are finished with your cleaning duties, you may spend the evening how you wish. You have earned a reprieve.”
I bowed in thanks. “I appreciate it.”
With one last nod, my father left the dojo. I started going through my nightly cleaning duties; polishing the practice blades, putting away the test dummies, and just performing general upkeep. Nearly a half an hour later, I hear a whispered hiss from behind me.
“Pssst! Heeeeeey!”
I can’t help but sigh.
“Yes, Kotori. Everyone is gone.”
I hear a relieved sigh and gentle footsteps as Kotori enters the room. I put the last of the wooden swords away and turn to face her. I was taken aback by what I saw. Instead of the usual, loose-fitting uniform that I always saw her in, Kotori was wearing a tight sleeveless tunic and cloth pants that only reached down to her thighs. It suited her figure very well. She also wore her hair differently; tied back out of her face in a simple but pleasant ponytail. It wasn’t something I was expecting, and it took my mind a moment to adjust. Kotori seemed to mistake my silence for something else as she looked down at her own appearance with a worried expression on her face.
“W-what is it? Does it look weird? I got these a couple days ago and...I thought…”
She tugged at the end of her ponytail nervously, her eyes searching mine for a response. Having come to terms with this sudden change, I shook my head and gave her an approving smile.
“No, not at all. In fact, I think those clothes suit you very well. But…”
My gaze turned inquizitive. “You didn’t have to change from your uniform simply to watch a brief demonstration.”
As I finished speaking, realization dawned on me. Her clothes, her hairstyle, and the sheepish expression on her face confirmed my suspicions. I shot her an exasperated look. “Kotori, no. We’ve been over this. I can’t teach anyone who is not a student of the school. I’d be risking expulsion for that.”
She looked dejected, but I knew she understood. I wouldn’t risk the honor of my school or my family, even for her. Still, I could see the spark of defiance in her eyes as she pleaded with me once more.
“I know, but I’m not asking you to tell me any important secrets or anything like that. Just show me some basic things. Please?”
I thought for a moment. There were some very basic martial arts movements that I could teach her that had nothing to do with the Sunder Spirit style, but even so…
“Why do you want to learn?”
Kotori stared at me blankly. “...What?”
“Why do you want to learn martial arts? It is a question all who practice are asked. Undertaking such a thing, no matter what level, is a serious choice. This is not just about learning how to use weapons properly or becoming stronger. This a choice you have to dedicate your soul to. If the reason is not good enough, your skills will not flourish. So, why do you want to learn?”
It seemed that Kotori wasn’t prepared to answer such an involved question. She looked down at her feet, clearly deep in thought. I was glad I asked. As familiar as I was with her, I would not simply teach her because she asked. This was sacred to me, to my family. However, I saw Kotori steel herself with resolve shortly after I had asked her. I was a little surprised that she managed to come up with an answer so quickly. She looked up at me, and for some reason, her face was red again. I vaguely wondered why this kept happening, but listened her her answer.
“I want to learn because...because I want to understand you better!”
Her knees trembled slightly and her hands were clenched into fists, but she stood her ground and kept her eyes firmly on mine as she continued.
“This school and your art are something that you have dedicated your life to, and I’ve seen you grow and flourish in it over the past several years. I’ve watched you train, and you’re so amazing, it’s obvious that you work really hard and care really deeply about the other students too. If it’s something that means so much to you, then I want to learn more about it.”
She swallowed hard. “So...th-that’s my answer.” she finished, somewhat lamely.
I wasn’t sure what to say. Why was I the reason that she wanted to learn martial arts? It didn’t make any sense to me at all. But...on the other hand, it wasn’t a pointless or malicious reason. It seemed that she was more interested in bettering herself than gaining any sort of knowledge or insight on the school, which was my main concern. I considered her for a moment, meeting her light hazel eyes. I saw a conflicting maelstrom of fear, hope, and nerves swirling in them as she waited for my final say. After several long moments, I finally gave her my answer.
“Come and stand right here.”
Her smile lit up the room like the sun and she clapped her hands together excitedly. “You mean…?”
I nodded, but held up a finger sternly as I set my condition.
“But I will only show you a few very basic moves, nothing more. Understood?”
Kotori nodded vigorously and almost skipped to the point in the room where I had directed her. I moved so I was standing beside her. Even from several feet away, I could feel her vibrant excitement. “So, what’s first teach?”
Despite myself, I felt the corner of my lip twitch as she called me the nickname. “This is a simple four-step combination for swiftly putting down a singular opponent. The simplicity in the set is designed so that different variations and other moves can be added for further effect.”
Kotori nodded earnestly as I explained. Satisfied that she understood, I struck a simple fighters stance, the inside of my body facing towards Kotori so she could copy me. She did so, adjusting herself as needed via my comments. Once she had done so, I looked forward. I thought the best way to do this was to demonstrate the four strike combination first so she could get the idea of it better. Even though I was performing the moveset relatively slowly, there was significant power behind my strikes. In the first move, I jabbed out quickly with my right hand, my palm horizontal and my knuckles straight outwards, aiming for an imaginary throat. Then, I quickly pulled my hand back to its starting position. Extending my fingers so that my hand resembled a spear, I executed a chopping side strike to my imaginary enemies liver. Pushing forward with my back foot, my left hand shot outwards, palm forward, to deliver a solid strike to the sternum. Then I pulled my entire body back, as if a snake coiling to strike. My muscles went taught, then exploded outwards as I thrust both of my fists forward in the final blow. After I finished with the demonstration, I stepped back so that I was once again in line with Kotori. “That is what the final forms look like. Now then, let’s take this step by...What?”
Kotori was looking at me like I was the legendary Reina reincarnated. Her eyes glittered with admiration and excitement. “That...was so COOL!”
I shook my head at her outburst, half exasperated and half amused. “You’re about to do the same thing, you know.”
“Oh. Right.”
She grinned timidly before assuming the fighting stance once again. I walked her through the first step, making sure to do through each and every movement carefully and deliberately. She managed to understand the basic movements, but there were subtle things that were harder for her to pick up on. I showed her more closely how she should hold her fingers so her knuckles don’t get damaged and how the power of the blow came from the movement of her hip, not her arm. Gradually, she became more confident in the motion. I repeated my instruction for the next four steps. I found myself rather impressed. She caught on just about as quickly as any beginner I had seen come through the temple. But now came the true test; I wanted to see her put everything together. I told her to do it slowly at first, just so she could get the feel of the moves flowing from one to the other. She executed the first strike really well, and moved into the second almost seamlessly. However, she lost her balance on the third and stumbled. She was doing quite well, so I gave her a nod of encouragement.
“Try again.”
She nodded without looking at me, her eyes hardened in her concentration. Once again, she moved through the first two movements smoothly. And once again, she faltered on the third. Kotari groaned in frustration and moved back to the starting position without any prompting from me. Something new and different like this must not have been easy for her, and I could tell she was trying hard. The knowledge that she was trying so hard for me swam at the back of my mind, but I didn’t know what that meant, so I kept it there. I observed her every motion as she attempted the combination again. I suddenly found myself thinking of the shape of her; the noticeable curve of her hips, the delicate lines in her lips, the shapely contours of her eyes. She was beautiful. No line in her form was the same, yet every single one had purpose. It was almost like watching a piece of moving art. It wasn’t until now that I realized that this was the only reason that she was so popular. I often saw her around the village with a large group of friends, talking and laughing about whatever it is that struck their fancy. I even noticed the way that some of the village boys looked at her as she passed, their eyes hungry like starving beggars. Every one of those boys ended up on my dark stage at one point or another.
Why am I thinking about this?
The question cut through my ribbon of thought like a sharp blade. I felt confused and annoyed, silently chastising myself for letting my mind wander to such pointless and trivial things. Ineeded to focus on my task at hand. I looked up to see a forlorn Kotari looking at me apprehensively. After a moment, I realized that my frustration with myself must have been echoed on my face, and that Kotori had mistaken it with frustration with her. I immediately softened my expression. Her voice was quiet when she spoke.
“I’m sorry...I’m trying really hard, but it’s...difficult...I’m not perfect like you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Kotari looked hurt. I shook my head quickly.
“No, no, it is not like that.” I said, still chuckling. “You are doing really well. And I mean that. As far as my being perfect, well…”
I had meant to share this fact simply to cheer her up, but the bitter words seemed to sting my lips as I uttered them. “It took me almost two weeks to master that form, which is four days longer than it took the rest of the class at the time.”
Kotori’s mouth fell open in shock. “...Really?”
I nodded, albeit with some difficulty. Admitting my faults was not an easy task for me to do. “Father ran me through the drills for days on end until I could get it perfect. There were some days that I did not eat because I was busy training.”
“That’s horrible!” Kotori protested, anger mingling with her shock. “How could he have done that to you?”
I laughed again, but there was no mirth in the expression. “Father did as I requested. I subjected myself to the training. It needed to be perfect. I needed to be perfect. This school needs me to be perfect.”
I stopped myself before I said anything more. The weight of the burden that I felt had been placed on me since birth began to feel a little unbearable for a moment. I quickly regained my composure. “...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble on like that.” I shook my head, as if I could physically throw those thoughts off of my mind.
“...It’s ok.”
Kotori’s voice was gentle. She was looking at me with a sad expression, as if she understood my burdens and my position. It was silent for a moment as we stared at each other. Finally, I broke it by nodding towards Kotori.
“When I was watching you before, I realized what is giving you difficulty.”
I walked around so that I was on the opposite side of her then I was before, so that her back was facing me. Kotori briefly kept her eyes on me, then she returned to the starting position. I went on. “Try again, just a little more slowly this time.”
She did as I instructed, and, as I predicted, she lost her momentul through the third strike. She stamped her foot in frustration. “Ugh, I don’t get it!”
I nodded knowingly. I saw this problem all too often with the beginners. I knew exactly how to fix it.
“Excuse me.”
“Eh-?” Kotori’s noise of confusion quickly turned into a squeak of surprise as I stepped in close behind her. I slid my hands around her wrists and adjusted their position slightly.
“The center of your gravity was off. You were putting your weight too far forward. Start here, and the natural flow of the moments will compensate.”
“O-okay…” Her voice trembled slightly. With how close I was, I could feel just how tense her body was. That wouldn’t have explained her earlier issues, but it wouldn’t help her now.
“Relax. If you are too tense, the movements come off as forced and you won’t have enough power behind your strikes.”
“O-oh. Right…” Kotori’s shoulders fell a little, and I felt her body losen.
“Good. Now, go through the steps again, and I will guide you from here.”
Kotori nodded, then went into the first strike. I flowed with her like a protective shadow.
One. She really does move gracefully.
She moved into the next strike. I gently correct the position of her right arm.
Two. Were her hands always this soft?
I help her into the third strike, placing a hand on her waist to help with her hip rotation.
Three. I can smell lilac…
I follow her back for the last strike. To guide her hands from my position, my arms are wrapped around her.
Four.
Neither of us move to complete the strike.
Kotori turns her face to mine. I see my dark amber eyes reflected in hers. I can count the individual flaws and imperfections in her visage.
She felt so fragile in my arms; as frail as a newly hatched bird, clinging to the nest that feels like home. She is blushing, her cheeks stained a deep crimson. But she does not look away.
The dojo is gone.
Time has stopped.
There is nothing here but us.
We are very close.
A shadow in the doorway catches my eye. I raise my head and look beyond the girl in my arms, and my blood runs cold. I release her immediately and stiffen.
“Father…”
My father stood in the doorway of the dojo, his blue eyes fixed upon the scene before him. His expression is severe, but inscrutable.
Kotori blinks as if she had just been suddenly awoken, and looks around. “What?...” Her gaze finds my father as well, all the color drains from her cheeks. “Oh...oh no, this wasn’t what you think! He wasn’t showing me any...I-I mean we were just-”
My father silenced her with a look. He took a couple steps into the dojo, his gaze returning to me. “Miss Himura, I think that you should return home.”
Kotori’s eyes flicked from my father to me. I avoided my father’s gaze. As the reality of my transgression sank in, hot shame burned my face. I leveled my eyes to the floor in a sign of penance. I hear Kotori try to argue on my behalf.
“It wasn’t his fault, really! I...I forced him into showing me a few moves. So please, blame me-”
My father cut her off with one word. His voice was calm, but the considerable finality in which he uttered it left no room for debate. “Go.”
Even despite the weight in which my father had spoken to her, Kotori still appeared to wish to argue. She looked over at me. I shook my head. Looking thoroughly distraught and with tears brimming in the corners of her eyes, Kotori hurried past my father and dashed out of sight. After the sound of her footfalls faded, silence fell over my like a leaden blanket, crushing me beneath it’s insurmountable weight. I could take it no longer.
“Forgive me, Father.”
I still couldn’t look at him. He spoke with the same calm severity that he had offered Kotori.
“Explain.”
I told him everything; how I had promised to demonstrate a few moves to Kotori after today’s lessons, how she had surprised me with her intentions to learn from me, and how I had only offered to teach her a common basic style. “I understand that betraying the tenets of our school is an offense punishable only by excommunication. I graciously accept any and all punishments for my actions, Master.”
I bowed low at the waist, and waited for my father issue out his final verdict.
“...Your visions. Have you had any recently?”
I wanted to raise my head, but I resisted the impulse. I still was not forgiven. And worse yet…
“Yes.”
“Of whom?”
“The botanist, Ms. Song Li. I carved her into a lotus blossom.”
I could feel my father’s disapproval, but he didn’t say anything for a while.
“Have you ever had one of these visions about Miss Himura?”
This time I did look up. “I…”
The affirmation died on my lips. I thought back to all of the grotesque visions that I’d had throughout my life. I remembered almost every single one. But…
“...No. I have not.”
The genuine surprise in my response gave my father everything he needed; I was telling the truth. Not once had Kotori ever ended up in my twisted fantasies. I found myself wondering, Why?
My father studied me for a long moment, his face still an incomprehensible mask. Finally, he spoke again.
“I have decided. No transgression was committed.”
I rose to my full height, bewildered. “But I…”
My father shook his head once, and that was the end of the matter. I bowed once again in respect and gratitude. “Thank you, father.”
My father inclined his head. “There is something else I wish to discuss with you.”
“Yes?”
“I have received word that the Blossom Festival is going to take place in Jyom Pass this year. We have been invited to perform during the Festival Opening along with the Wuju swordsmen and the Kinkou ninjas.”
My eyes opened wide and a pleased smile split my face. The previous discomfort I had felt was all but forgotten. “That is such a great honor! Which forms do you wish me to prepare?”
My father smiled at my enthusiasm, but held up a hand to give me pause.
“I have not decided if I was going to pick you to represent the school at my side.”
“...What?” A sudden pit grew in my stomach. Was my father angry at me after all for teaching Kotomi? Was he going to humiliate me, make an example of me; the fallen son of a master? My father seemed to understand the thoughts that were going through my mind, and he gave me a gentle smile. “You are beyond exceptional. This is not a question of your talent, my son. But there are other students at this school; students who deserve to earn the chance to represent their beloved school.”
So that’s what it was. I was relieved that the reason had nothing to do with Kotori. I also knew that he was right, and that my own selfish desires were outweighing reason. Puzzlement clouded over my thoughts as I looked to my father once more.
“Then what will my roll be?”
“The Blossom Festival does not come in this province often, and I know how much you enjoy poetry and plays. So you will have no duties to fulfil that night. I want you to have some time and enjoy yourself.”
He didn’t say it, but I knew he also meant “As normal people do.” I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t interested, but I had no idea how one enjoyed oneself at a festival. The only festivals that I had gone to, I had participated as a representative of the Sunder Spirit style, and had little time to myself. Perhaps this was father’s way of trying to get me to do something that made me seem like I wasn’t...me. Father sensed my discomfort with the idea, and he waved away the silence.
“In any case, at least think about it some. The festival isn’t for another fortnight. In the meantime, Miss Himura is waiting for you just by the gates. Please ensure that she gets home safely.”
I frowned. I didn’t know how my father knew she was there, but there were few times where he was wrong about things like these. I nodded. “Alright.”
As usual, my father was right. As I left the temple, I saw the figure of Kotomi near the gate. She was pacing back and forth quickly, wringing her hands together and muttering to herself. It appeared that she was debating whether she should run back into the temple or not. Feeling as if I should end her fretting, I call out to her as I approach.
“Kotori!”
Upon hearing her name, Kotori immediately whips around. Her eyes fell on me, and she immediately hurried over, panic-stricken. In her haste, all of her words came out in a rush.
“Is everything okay? How bad was your father’s punishment? I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. I forced you into doing something stupid. Just let me go back and explain everything-”
I held up both hands in a peaceful gesture to calm her down. “It’s alright. I’m not in trouble.”
“...Really?” Kotori let out a shaky sigh of relief. She looked like she was about to cry. “I...I was really worried.”
I gave her a reassuring smile. “Sorry to have worried you. Let me walk you home.”
I opened the gate for her and we started making our way over to her family’s tea shop. I could tell that Kotori was still feeling really guilty about what had happened, so I decided that a change in subject was warranted.
“My father told me that the Blossom Festival was coming in a couple weeks to Jyom Pass, and that the school was selected to perform alongside a couple others to perform at the opening ceremonies.”
Kotori’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? That’s incredible! I heard that only very select martial arts schools are asked to perform. Your father’s school is really something.”
I nodded in agreement. “He and two other students will be demonstrating a few techniques.”
“Who are the students. One has to be you, right? Who will the other one be?”
I wasn’t able to entirely keep the wryness from my voice. “Father said he wouldn’t be choosing me.”
“What?! You can’t be serious!”
I was taken aback by the intensity of Kotori’s incredulity. She seemed much more upset by the fact my father did not decide to choose me than I did. I could see that she was trying to find a way to vouch for my skills without insulting my father. I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“He says that he wants me to go and just enjoy the festival for myself. No duties to the school.”
“Oh.”
Kotori’s anger seemed to have melted away, and she seemed strangely pleased. Her tone had softened greatly by the time she spoke again.
“Well, you should. It’s a great festival, and there’s going to be so many great artists there! You work really hard, and you deserve some time to relax and do something fun.”
“I suppose…” I mused. Since my father had proposed the idea, I haven’t given it much thought. It would be nice to see some fantastic works of art, read sublime poetry, and perhaps see a show or two. On the other hand, seeing someone else represent my father’s school in my place would be...difficult. Lost in my own musings, I didn’t see Kotori’s nervous glances at me as we walked on. It wasn’t too much longer until we reached the tea shop. We stopped just outside the door. Kotori looked like she really wanted to say something, but couldn’t quite manage the words. I waited patiently for a little while. Finally, she managed to speak.
“So...the festival is coming soon…”
“Yes. We were just discussing it.”
“And...and you might be able to go just to enjoy it, right?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Well...Uhh...I…”
She was avoiding looking at me, fidgeting with her fingers behind her back. Her cheeks blazed a deep scarlet. I was generally oblivious to social cues and reading people, but in the past several weeks, I was finding Kotori easier to read. I knew what she was trying to ask me. So I answered her.
“Yes, I will.”
“Eh?” Kotori stopped stammering and looked at me, dumbstruck.
“You were going to ask if I wanted to go to the festival with you, right?”
Her cheeks somehow turning a deeper shade of crimson, Kotori nodded silently.
“Then yes. I will. We have a lot of the same taste, so I think it will be a nice time.”
Kotori simply stared at me. Then a radiant smile lit up her face. “Yes! It will be so much fun!”
The golden light of the evening light gleamed off her dark hair as she tucked a wayward strand behind her ear. I felt a strange tightening in my chest that I didn’t understand. We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Then, finally, I decided that I should go.
“I should be getting back. There are some meditations I still have to do tonight.”
“What? Oh! Right. Yes.”
She turned, opened the door of the tea shop, and stepped inside. Looking at me from the half open doorway, she waved shyly as she said her goodbye. “I’ll...I’ll see you around, then.”
“Have a good evening, Kotori.”
I started to leave as Kotori began to close the door. Just before it shut, I could hear Ms. Himura shouting from what I assumed to be the kitchen.
“Soooo? Did you ask him? Did he say yes?”
Even through the wooden door, I could hear Kotari’s mortified shout of “MOM!”
I chuckled to myself as I started the trek back to the temple. I thought back to the conversation I had with my father. I was surprised that he wasn’t more upset about the situation. Still, I was quite glad with how things turned out. Unprovoked, my mind returned to the moments in the dojo with Kotori; watching her practice, feeling her skin on mine, looking into her eyes…
I felt my chest tighten again, harder than before. It made me feel elated, almost to the point of nausea. The feeling quickly passed, but the elation lingered. I raised a few fingers to my face. It felt hot to the touch.
“What is this?...”
Well, I thought as Kotori’s brilliant smile flashed in my mind, if this is normal...then maybe I could get used to this…
The next two weeks passed rather quickly. Kotori and I frequently spent our evenings together, talking about the festival’s arrival and what we hoped to see there. Kotori wanted to see the famed Yu-Yan dancers while I wished to see the dark tragedies of Izumo no Okuni. My performance within my lessons was at its peak, although it did not matter much. True to my father’s word, he chose two other students to represent the school at the festival. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t mind.
I was having more visions than ever before, and they were becoming more vivid. Some were even powerful enough that I could almost smell the blood on the air. It was intoxicating. I hid this fact from father. I was worried that he wouldn’t let me go to the festival if he knew. He would probably lock me away while forcing me to meditate while burning cleansing herbs. I started to wonder if having these visions was such a bad thing after all.
Finally, the day of the festival arrived. In order to prepare for the ceremonies, my father had to leave earlier than most. He allowed classes to end a few hours earlier that day. As I was performing my usual cleaning duties, my father approached me as he was about to leave and offered me some parting words.
“I want you to enjoy yourself tonight. Take care of Miss Himura, and be careful.”
I nodded. “I will.”
My father gave me a searching look before turning and leaving the dojo. I finished with the rest of my chores, then went off to get ready for the festival.
Paper lanterns of all different, sizes, shapes, and colors danced all around me as the stars began to shine in the darkening sky. Strains of all different kinds of music drifted through the air, mingled with the shouts of stage performers, and the laughter of the patrons. Paintings and sculptures littered the festival grounds as well-known artists, both ameatur and acclaimed, displayed their talents. The festival grounds stretched on for several miles, but I could only see a small part of it from where I was standing at the entrance. I was waiting for Kotori; we agreed to meet by the front gates. With the influx of people coming to the region for the festival, the Himura’s tea shop was busier than ever. Kotori had to stay later to help out with the high influx of customers. I was content to people watch as I waited. As fun as the festival was, it was also considered a special occasion. The men wore pressed dress robes, and the women traditional Ionian dresses. I myself had also donned the formal uniform of my school, the sigil of my family’s style imprinted on the left breast and a ceremonial dagger on my hip. I had been waiting for about fifteen minutes when I finally heard Kotori’s voice calling my name. I turned to face her, prepared to chastise her for keeping me waiting so long. I froze.
The girl that was running towards me looked nothing like the Kotori I knew. She was clothed in an elegant traditional gown, the color of a crimson sunset and decorated with the images of pink lotus blossoms. Her long, luxurious hair was done up in an intricate bun, and held in place by a beautifully crafted jade hair stick. She was even wearing makeup, her lips a blazing scarlet and her cheeks blushing rose. She came to a stop a small distance in front of me, panting lightly.
“Sorry! I...I didn’t think it would take me so long to get ready.”
Taking a moment to catch her breath, she grinned at me, and spun around.
“Well, what do you think? I got it just for tonight.”
I chuckle at her little display. “You look lovely. That color really suits you.”
She smiled at me shyly. “Thanks...You look really handsome too.”
I took the compliment with a polite nod. “Shall we go?”
Kotori nodded enthusiastically. I fall into step beside her as we enter the festival grounds. Neither of us were in any hurry, so we strolled about leisurely for a few minutes, simply taking in all of the sights and sounds. Suddenly, I feel her arm wrap around mine. I look at her quizzically. She avoided my gaze, her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her. I could see, even beneath her makeup, that her face was red.
“Is...Is this okay?”
I didn’t see anything wrong with it, and I figured that it would help her keep her balance with the sandals she was wearing. “I don’t mind.”
We walked around the festival like that, her arm wrapped gently around mine. We stopped to see several artists; I was particularly enchanted by a female artist who painted exclusively with her own blood. Kotari was rather disturbed by it, but she found an ivory sculptor that she really liked that distracted her from the blood artist. We stopped by a legendary fiddler who played an incredible rendition of Jeishi Diao Youlan so moving, that it reduced Kotori to tears.
“H-how could you n-not?” She sniffed, as the audience awarded the fiddler’s performance to tumultuous applause. “It was so beautiful.”
I chuckled. “Perhaps I simply have a higher constitution than you.”
Kotori punched my arm playfully, wiping a wayward tear from the corner of her eye. “Hey, are you hungry? There’s a row of food stalls nearby, and one of my friends told me that they have really good taiyaki here.”
“Alright.”
Kotori took my arm again, much more confidently this time, and we made our way down the roll of street vendors. An amalgamation of exciting and delicious smells assaulted me from all sides. We spent a little while considering our choices. Eventually, Kotori found her taiyaki, and I settled with dumplings. There was a small area of benches nearby, and we sat down to enjoy our food.
“You didn’t have to pay for everything, you know…” Kotori pouted. But she didn’t seem all that upset by the fact. “Mom gave me some money to spend tonight. You didn’t have to…”
“It was no trouble. I wanted to.”
Truthfully, I had only just realized the situation I was in while we were walking around the food stalls. While Kotori was fawning over the many delicious food options, I was observing the crowd. I saw several other pairs walking around, many of the women acting the same way that Kotori was. I also noticed that the men that the women were with often paid for the food. I felt as if I should do the same. I had a modest allowance, and since I did not often go out, I had quite a bit saved up. Buying the food was no trouble for me. Kotori smiled.
“Thank you...That’s really kind. Well, since you bought it for me…”
She took a large bite of the fried pastry and cooed happily. “It’s so good!”
I indulged myself in the dumplings. I was careful not to spill any on my uniform. If I had gotten it dirty, I would have been so annoyed. They were quite good, but I still preferred Ms. Himura’s. As if she could read my mind, Kotori cast a smirk in my direction.
“So, better than my mom’s?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Very close. But your mother’s win out in the end.”
Kotori hummed smugly and took another bite of her pastry.
“Ohoho, what’s this?”
A strange female voice caused me to look up. A small group of three girls had stopped by our bench. I recognized them from Kotori’s circle of friends. The girl who spoke was smiling slyly, a painted brow raised. The other two had similar teasing expressions on their faces. Kotori swallowed hard, her cheeks a bright red.
“H-Hey, Chidzuko...everyone…”
The girl who’s name was Chidzuko didn’t relent in her piercing stare. “So, since when have you been going out with the Spirit Master’s son?”
“We...we aren’t going out…”
Chidzuko gestures to the pair of us. “But you guys are on a date right now, right?”
Kotori swallows again, looking very embarrassed. Her eyes flitted to me only once.
“I...uhh...we…”
“Yes, we are.”
All eyes swiveled to me as I answered the question. There was a moment of shocked silence. Then all three girls burst out in delighted squeals. Kotari hides behind her half eaten pastry as the girls bombard her with questions.
“Ehhh?! How come you never told us!” “How long has this been going on?” “So what’s it like going out with a martial arts master?”
Their chattering was becoming rather annoying, and it was apparent that Kotori wanted it to end. Thankfully, I didn’t have to intervene again as Chidzuko’s name was called from somewhere further down the row of food stalls. Chidzuko turned and waved to someone.
“Heeey! I’m coming!”
She cast a scandalous look at Kotari. “I want to hear all about this later. See you, Kotari.”
All but collapsing into fits of giggling, the three of them left us alone. I was glad to be rid of them, but the silence that was left in their wake was uncomfortable. Kotori refused to look at me, or even let her face be seen. I ate another dumpling. Finally, Kotari spoke. Her voice was soft, and sounded fragile.
“...Did you really mean that?”
I was about to eat another dumpling when she asked me the question.
“Was I wrong? Is this not a date?”
I had never been on a date before, but I had heard much about them from the other boys at the temple. I never had any interest in such matters like romance. But it was different, if it was Kotari. I didn’t mind spending time with her, and we got along rather well. Besides, doing something like this would make father happy. And, I figured if I something this simple could make Kotari happy too, then...
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kotari’s hands trembling. Her voice shook lightly as she inquired.
“Are...Are you really okay...with someone like me?”
I paused for a moment. Then, suddenly, I darted forward and took a small bite of the pastry Kotori was idley holding in front of her. I tasted the sweet morsel slowly as Kotori looked at me in shock.
“Wha-?”
I swallowed, and smiled at her. “You were right. It is really good.”
Stabbing one of my dumplings with a wooden skewer, I offered one to Kotori. She stared at it, then looked at me, as if needing confirmation. I answered with a poem from an author we both liked.
“When compared to The feelings in my heart After we’ve met and loved, I realize that in the past I had no cares at all.”
As I was reciting the poem, a bright smile spread on Kotori’s face. She joined me in reciting the last two lines. I noticed her eyes were brimming with tears again, but they were tears of joy. Opening her mouth, she ate the dumpling off the end of the skewer. She chewed thoughtfully.
“...You were right. My mom’s are better.”
We both shared a laugh. A comfortable silence settled between us as we finished our food. After that, we decided to wander around some more. Walking with Kotori on my arm, we headed towards the larger stages. There was a large group amassing towards the biggest stage of all.
“Oh! It’s almost time for the martial demonstrations.” Kotori exclaimed.
It was where the large crowd was headed towards. Whether we wanted to see it or not, we were quickly swept up by the eager crowd headed to watch the astounding feats of martial prowess. We settled in to watch the show. It started soon after. Suddenly, with a puff of white smoke, three people appeared on stage to startled and impressed gasps from the audience. I remembered my father mentioning that the Kinkou Order were invited guests. Their master, a middle aged man with a fiery mane of brilliant red hair bowed a greeting to the crowd. Live chanters accompanied them from the sides of the stage as the ninjas launched into an impressive display of ninjutsu and acrobatics. They received a loud round of applause from the crowd when they finished. With another puff of white smoke, they vanished. Then, my father appeared on stage with two other students. Kotori squeezed my arm in excitement. I watched as the students demonstrated the forms that I knew so well. They performed amicably. It was my father who really stole the show. He exhibited a grand display of bladework, bending the energy around him to his will. With a swift and final strike, all the lanterns surrounding the stage went out. Just as with the ninjas, my father was given a loud round of applause. Kotori was amongst those clapping the loudest. My father bowed to the crowd, then departed the stage. There was a brief pause as some stagehands relit the lamps.
“That was pretty incredible. It’s amazing that you can do all of those kinds of things.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything. I was still slightly bitter that my father didn’t choose me to perform. Kotori guessed what I was thinking from the sour expression on my face, and drew herself closer to me.
“I’m glad you’re here. If you were performing, then we couldn’t have spent all this time together.”
“That’s true.” I smiled down at her, and she looked away, blushing. But our attention was quickly redirected back to the stage.
The moment the lamps were lit, a couple more stagehands placed a giant obelisk of stone in the center of the stage. The audience looked on in puzzlement. Suddenly, a shadow flitted across the stage. Many members of the audience exclaimed in surprise. The shadow darted across the stage once more, quickly followed by another one. A moment later, they crossed the stage again, and a third shadow joined the fray. They skirted about the stone obelisk, and amongst the moving shadows, there were flashes of metal. The shadows stopped and three figures stood on the stage. The Wuju swordsmen saluted the audience with emerald blades with metal rings. Behind them, the obelisk crumbled to reveal the carved insignia of the Wuju school. The dashing shadows were the swordsmen cutting the insignia into the obelisk. They moved so quickly, they could barely be tracked by the human eye. The swordsmen then launched into more swordplay, including a fast-paced mock duel amongst each other. It was all very impressive. When they took their final bow, they received the loudest applause yet.
“Those Wuju guys were pretty amazing, weren’t they?”
Kotori and I were moving with the dispersing crowd as the martial demonstrations ended. I nodded my agreement.
“Yes. Their technique was unlike anything I’ve seen before. The way they moved…”
We spent the next few minutes walking around the festival discussing the Wuju swordsman. As we walked, we happened upon the stage where the Yu-Yan dancers were performing. We decided to stay and watch for a little while. It was nearing the end of their performance, but Kotori was enraptured by them. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slack. Just the pure unadulterated joy in which she watched them made me chuckle. After their performance finished, Kotori clapped enthusiastically with the rest of the crowd.
“You really seem to like them.” I asked her, after the applause had subsided. She nodded enthusiastically.
“My mom took me to see them when they performed in Naseong once. I saw how gracefully they moved, and immediately fell in love. And the stories that their dances tell are amazing. I’d even say that they rival the stories that some playwrights tell.”
I hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose. I don’t know much about dance, so I can’t say much. But I can see your passionate about it. Did you ever have an interest in dancing yourself?”
Kotori chuckled, looking down in embarrassment. “Well...Sort of...But I never could. I’m too clumsy. I mean, remember how I was when you were training me? Keeping my balance is hard for me to do. Well, except when I’m carrying tea trays.”
“I don’t think so. You were doing very well near the end. I’m sure you could do it if you put your mind to it.”
Kotori blushed, but smiled up at me. “Thanks...What about you? I know you’re supposed to inherit your father’s school, but is there anything you really want to do?”
Beautiful images of bloody corpses mere moments after death filled my head.
“...Yes, there is. But I can’t.”
Kotori looked at me ruefully. “...Look, please don’t take this the wrong way. I know that the school means a lot to you, and that you’re carrying on your father’s legacy, but that doesn’t have to be everything you are. Just because you have something important to do with your life, doesn’t mean it’s the only thing you can do.”
She reached out and took my hand in hers and gave me a comforting smile. “Your passions and desires are just as important as your duties. You don’t have to hold back.”
I considered her words, tasted them in my mind. You don’t have to hold back…
A slow smile curled my lips as Kotori’s encouragement mulled about in my mind. “Thank you...I really needed to hear that.”
Kotori squeezed my hand affectionately. “Hey, the fireworks are going to start in a little while. My mom told me about this secret place around here where we can get a good view.”
Pulling me by the hand, Kotori led me through the crowded festival towards the edges of the grounds. A couple hills and lightly forested areas surrounded the festival grounds. Kotari led me outside of the festival, away from the lights and the noise to a small pathway that snaked its way through the lush trees. The path we took sloped upward, and after a few minutes of climbing, we reached a clearing on a hill. The view was breathtaking. The lights of the festival was sprawled before us like a gathering of multicolored fireflies. Kotori sighed happily as she looked at the incredible sight before us.
“It’s incredible…” She breathed.
“Yes, it is.”
Kotori’s hand was still clasped in mine. For a moment, we simply stood there, watching the lights dance below. Then, she let her hand fall way. I looked at her quizzically as she took a step forward and turned to face me. I could barely see her face in the light of the festival at her back. She inhaled deeply, as if steeling herself.
“I was so happy when you agreed to come here with me. I was so nervous, I could barely sleep. But this has been one of the greatest nights of my life. So, I wanted to thank you. If I only had this night alone with you, then that would be enough. But...what you said in front of Chidzuko and the others...I couldn’t believe it. I’d only dreamed you ever say something like that about me. I’ve been looking up to you for years, but as long as I could be your friend, I was happy enough with that. These past few weeks have been amazing, and I don’t want it to end. I…”
Her voice trailed off as she lost courage. After a moment, she seemed to gain it again.
“I love you.”
I was unsure if it was simply the mood of the festival or the words Kotori had said before, but I felt myself getting caught up in the moment. It was just like a classic love story. And I just had to play the part. I swept forward and took Kotori gently in my arms as I recited my line.
“And I you.”
She clutched my robes and buried her face in my chest as I embraced her. She felt so small in my arms. A loud bang and bright light announced the start of the fireworks. Kotari lifted her face from me and stared up into the dark sky just to see an explosion of emerald light. “They’re so pretty…”
We looked at each other. The light from the fireworks illuminated her face. She moved closer, pressing herself into me as she raised her face towards me. Her eyes searched mine for confirmation, for permission. I lowered my face to hers. Our lips touched tentatively, timidly, then with with more intensity. We broke apart, and I inhaled the sweet scent of lilac that I knew so well.
And it happened.
My mind clouded. I saw the curtain rise. The image I saw before me was the most beautiful I had ever seen. It filled me with such emotion, I didn’t think I could bear it. Her silky black hair was fanned out behind her. She lay on the ground in such a pleasantly careless way. I had carved the most beautiful smile in her face. Her words echoed in my mind.
“You don’t have to hold back.”
I raised a hand and stroked Kotori's cheek gently.
“I want to see your smiling face.”
She obliged me. But it wasn’t her true smile; the smile that I gave her. I knew what I had to do.
You don’t have to hold back.
“I want to see your true smile. The smile only I can see. The smile that makes you beautiful.”
The bright flash of a firework illuminated the blade of the ceremonial dagger as I slowly drew it from its sheath.
“The smile that makes you perfect.”
"..."