Syvhan, the Grim Reaper [Champion-concept]

Eternal Torment·3/20/2017, 6:43:45 PM·1 votes·685 views

So, newly moved to the NA boards in hopes of spreading my Ideas of new champions and possibly even create an decent idea. I have already made this post on the EUW in german, if you wanna check it out i could link it per request. But without much further ado, let us get into it!

The first idea of creation: Obviously no champion Comes out of thin air, and my Grim reaper didn't either. He is the end result of my very long wish to see a champion who actually wields a Scythe on the Rift, and i mean as an actual weapon and not the karthus skin (plz dont comment on full crit Karth T_T) ANYWAY, i had to think of something original, but at the same time not too unique. A god would be way too typical, devils would have issues with a certain satanic creature Cough Teemo cough , Demons would be Kind of an unsafe territory since tahm Kench is the first actually recognized Demon and yes while aatrox is described as an demonic or demon-like being, he is just mentioned with resemblances to them, not being one themselves. So it came to me, why not some form of the real deal, the stereotypical father of death with his scythe and chilly appearance. BUT that too gave me not just a few issues because death already exists in the form of Kindred, so i had to take a gamble for his lore.

Let's hope it was a good set.

Lore: "It's dark .." A child whispered to me. It looked terrified. It did not know where we were, who our kidnappers were, what they were up to with us. Whatever it was, it was nothing good.

Every time, the bald man with the cloth around his mouth came in, he pulled out one of the co-inmates in chains.

After that, scream. Begging forgiveness for the sake of less pain.

We never knew what was happening, but these people, these poor victims ... they never came back.

"Will the baldo-man kill us?" The boy asked me. He sounds so frightened. I hugged him, hoping that I can console him. He was still so small, so innocent.

He did not deserve to rot with us in this cell, knowing that a horrible fate is about to come.

We waited weeks, months, almost a year since we were captured. I and the boy were the only ones left. He seems to like me very much.

For a longer time now he calls me mom, probably he thinks I'm really it. Somehow that made me happy, but it was also sad that the farewell the bald man will bring us will be harder. This boy has really bad luck ...

The bald man came back again, this time he dragged us both out. He looked so meager, and yet he could lift us up with ease. I did not know what was going to happen, I did not know what was going to happen to the boy ... but one thing I knew. He will not hurt the boy, i will not let him.

I try my best to defend myself, shook my body with all possible protest, bit him in his arm.   He looked at me only grim and annoyed, he did not even feel the bite. What the hell is he?

He ties me to a table, then the boy to a second. The tables looked as if they were made for experimentation. They were aligned precisely to body size with outstretched arms. Their surfaces were almost completely covered with blood.

This insane psycho! He carried out animalic experiments with the abducted people, and now the poor boy was on the turn. I had to do something, but i couldn't.

The bald man took a syringe in his hand. Through the injection vessel one could see that the liquid was partial black, partial white. Light and shadow. Bright and dark. Life and death. He leaned the needle on the boy's neck and injected him whatever that was.

The boy cried out with pain, he began bleeding at all the openings of the body. Eyes, ears, nostrils, mouth. It was a horrible sight.

He shouted the whole time, ear-splitting shrieks of a tortured child. I could not save my tears, I began to cry. He looked slowly at me, something was wrong. His eyes were black, the other white. Like the substance!

"What have you done to him, you miserable bitch!" I cried to the madman. He only gave me a serious face, but he was silent. He turned and took another syringe, same substance, higher dose. Probably because I am an adult.

I shook as wild as I could, trying to keep my neck restless so hard that he did not miss it. But he was much more brutal than imagined.

He stabbed my shoulder with a scalpel. The pain caused me to scream aloud, throwing my head backwards, a few seconds of painful stoppage were all he needed. He also injected me with the remedy.

It's burning! It burned so much, I felt as if I were dying! I also had to scream aloud, my whole body felt as if it had dived in boiling oil. Oh God, anybody, please, make it stop !!

"D-DON'T HURT MOMMY!" Cried the boy loudly, his voice, still drowning in pain, echoed in my ears. Suddenly I felt within myself a stillness, disturbing emptiness. I saw my stomach getting smaller. A page-colored liquid flowed out of my clothes. Oh my God, I'm literally breaking up into porridge!

The boy Saw to his horror and screamed as loud as he could. It sounded as if the pain in him disappeared, and instead was overwhelmed with blind rage. His eyes shone harder, they glowed very strongly.

I suddenly coughed out of my blood. The mad scientist only excitedly noted what he saw, everything was recorded in a file. I felt so weak, I was dying. My minutes are passing fast.

"Boy ... b ... please-" I had to cough blood again, but continued, anxious and worried. "B ... be .... st ... rong ... you can ... make the ..." "My eyes rolled back, and my head fell to the table. My body died.

The boy broadened his eyes, suddenly a shock wave of energy broke out in the lab, the boy was the epicenter. His body changed.

He grew, Rapide. His Cuffs turned to dust. A cloak of pure black circulated his body, dressed him. The madman grabbed the most necessary files and ran. He had a look mixed with ecstasy and fear. Whatever he did to the boy, it was successful, but he could not stand the full extent of his project and took flight. Typically insane scientists from Zhaun.

The boy, now an outgrown man, swept his hand over my shackles. They almost destroyed themselves, flowed down to the table like dust, or sand. His hand caressed my cheek. I was already dead, how could I still feel his warmth. I suddenly saw a white arrow coming toward me, but the boy caught him before he pierced my chest. In the room there was a white human-like and a spiritual wolf. Was that Kindred, of the legends?

The boy reached with his right hand under the cloak sleeves of his left arm and pulled out a sword. The handle glowed black and white, extended, the sword swung 90 ° inwards. The blade became a scythe ...

Then, nothing. Black, still nothing ...

A pale hand ceased to write, the last sentence "Then, nothing, Black, Still Nothing ..." still visible, while a second, pitch-black hand locked the booklet. On the title page, "Memories of the Dead, Vol. 4"

The black hand put the diary into a side pocket, then she reached for the black scythe described in the entry, with a skull on the connector, intermediate handle and blade, white edge features gave Goth-like patterns.

The cape-bearer with the scythe sighed loudly, and began to run after rising from the cold forest floor.

"Again those memories .... when do they stop?" He asked himself with a deep voice.

SOOO i hope you enjoyed the lore, certainly a new perspective. But to not delay too much, let us move on!

Name: Syvhan Nicknames: -the Grim reaper -Scytheman -Subject 1927-2

League title: the Grim reaper

Looks: -about 6' 1 -Long hair reaching down to his Hips -Wields a Grey-black Cloak that covers his entire body and even parts of his face -His entire Body is split in the middle colour-wise. Left side light-white, but the Eye is black. Right side the exact opposite -Slim figure -Carries with him a Scythe (design already described) and a Bag with diaries

Personality/ Short describtion: Syvhan is a successful weapon experiment from Zhaun, which was to be a clone of Kindred. As a rather sad person, however, a childish companion, who does not hold much of life but no more of death, he walks through the whole of Runeterra, robbing the soul of those witnessing their last moments, hoping that these souls will be preserved the torment of the fire in the afterlife. Without Emotion but driven by the revenge of all the souls, he has only two aims from which he will only achieve one: to break the chain of life and death and to take revenge on the man who has done all this to him, or for himself to die. He feels sympathy for all immortals who have acknowledged the burden, and feels a deep hatred against all those who, like He, have received unnatural life or welcome it.

Stats:

Health: 595-1698 (+61.277~ hp/lvl)

Mana: 317-944 (+34,833~ mana/lvl)

HP regen: 2,1-7,9 (+0,322~ HPregen/lvl)

Mana-regen: 1,8-7 (+0.288~ Mregen/lvl)

Attack Speed: 0.704-1,097 (+3,1%/lvl)

AD: 59-106 (+2,611~ ad/lvl)

Attack range: 125

Armor: 26,1- 77,3 (+2,844~ armor/lvl)

MR: 29,0-50,5 (+ 1,1944~ MR/lvl)

Movement speed: 340

Main role: Assassin Secondary role: fighter

Skillset, finally!:

passive

Curse of the damned; Syvhan's damage-inducing skills and "Oath of the Dead" leave a stack of "curse of the Damned" for up to 4 seconds. With 3 stacks, a "mark of the Damned" will be left on the champion, which remains 6 seconds long. Gives you a true view of the opponent's champion and slows him down by 15%. If a champion is killed with a mark, or if the brand is triggered right upon the champions death, Syvhan robs his victim of his soul and receives permanent +10 attack damage. After 6 stacks only 5 attack damage,after 10 stacks only 3. (No cap). There can be only one champion with the brand condemned at the same time. An opponent's champion can only consume the mark once every 60 seconds.

Oath of the deceased; Syvhan's First Normal Attack (10-6 seconds Cooldown, reduced to 9.8,7.6 on Levels 6,11,13,16) on an opponent causes an additional 20-126 (+ 6/ Level) (+ 10% bonus AD) + 5% of maximum life (max 300 vs monsters) to the target as magical damage and heals 10-25% (+ 0.833 ~% / level) of the damage done (half value for minions and monsters)

Q- Skill: Scythesslash Cooldown; 10 / 9.25 / 8.5 / 7.75 / 7 seconds Costs; 30/35/40/45/50 mana Syvhan Swings his scythe in an area around him (range 500) causing 75/110/145/180/215 (+ 80% bonus AD) Normal damage. Enemies behind him receive only half of the damage. If Scytheslash kills an opponent, Syvhan will heal by 5 / 7.5 / 10 / 12.5 / 15 hp (heal stacks additively with kill count) and the Cooldown of scytheslash hit will be reduced by 0.5 seconds per Last hit.

W- Skill: Fear the underworld; Cooldown; 14 seconds Costs; 80 Mana Syvhan Swings his scythe in a semicircle in front of him (cone adjustable, 0.5sec animation time, swinging from right to left) (range 525) and Damages all opposing champions by 50/80/110/140/170 (+ 50% bonus ad) . The first hit champion is also drawn to Syvhan, slowed by 70% for 1 second, and will be hit with a stack of "Curse of the Damned".

E-Skill: accursed memories; Cooldown; 12/11/10/9/8 Costs; 60/65/70/75/80 mana Syvhan screams in sheer pain and torments the senses of the Opponent, becoming invisible for 2 / 2.25 / 2.5 / 2.75 / 3 seconds and increases his Movement speed by 20/23/26/29/32/35 %, But opponents within a radius of 1500 units will hear screaming. The next Normal attack immediately triggers "Oath of the Deceased". Monsters and minions (Within range 400) will be feared by the scream for 1.5 seconds.

R- Skill: Eternal unrest; Cooldown: 120/105/90 Costs; 100 mana Syvhan Chargecharges his scythe and throws a cursed slash at a selected enemy champion. All enemy units on the flight path receive 150/225/300 (+ 40% total ad) damage and are thrown back weakly (75 Units) The main target gains 240/320/400 (+ 65% total ad) damage and is Stunned for 0.75 seconds. If Syvhan kills a target with "Eternal Unrest", the cooldown is reduced by 20%, and Syvhan receives the attack damage bonus from "curse of the Damned". Eternal Unrest and Curse of the Damned do not additionally grant the attack damage bonus, but Curse of the Damned, if Triggered, is still set to Cooldown for the target.

Standart- Itembuild:

Startgegenstände; item 1036 item 2031

First purchase; item 3134 item 1001 item 1038

Core items: item 3142 item 3074 item 3117

Offensive items: item 3147 item 3153

Devensive Items: item 3072 item 3812 item 3814

Situational: item 3036 item 3053

Friends: Nasus Maokai Zilean

Rivals/Enemies: Karthus Singed Xerath

Dialogue;

first movement: -War, peace, I do not care. They all rot one way or another -to reap souls is to experience more agony, to bear more -Knowledge is power, unless it is the memories of the poor soul that opposes Me -I pray that my death will be here soon -is death truly an agonized truth?

While moving; -Life knows only one path -I'm going forward -so far I've gone -So much behind me, so much more before me -Popular way it seems -Suspicious, but interesting -promised end, here I come

During attack; -Your soul will experience agony! -You know nothing of real suffering -One being, one dead ... no difference -Departed! -You'll be damned! -Your death receives you!

Joke; -Life is not worth living, Our death is death-assured

Normal Taunt; -Your soul is not worthy of my scythe -You will get to know so many other souls after I kill you!

Dance; First 10-second cut out of 2015 Cinderella's ball dance with the scythe as a model for the woman

laugh; At first dry chuckling, then after a short silence it explodes into a loud mad laugh

Special interactions: Taunts

Opponent:

Singed;

  • You did this to me! -YOU! WILL! PAY!!!

Teemo; -The devil in person -When one speaks of the devil

Vayne; -You have the gift to kill me ... do it

  • A Slayer who damns all damned. I like you. -Hey, can you kill me ... you know .... with a few hundred of those shots?

Shadow Island champion (Excluded Kalista & Karthus); -Holy, you're even more abominable than I am! -And I thought my being was an abomination

Kalista; -Give me my revenge, accept me, and avenge my suffer! -You will help me, and if not, I'll slit you to cooperation

Karthus; -The death is nothing but a disguised ugliness, and you're the dress to use (SHOTS FIRED!) -Could we change roles? So you can see how wrong you are

Kled; -You would be my model ... If only i just loved life

Kindred; -You have been a thorn in my eye since my new birth! -It ends! today! HERE!

Nasus; -You must have gone through so much more than I did

  • You're probably the only one who will ever be sorry for.

Other Demacian Champions; -The light is only one half of truth

All Noxian champions; War is eternal, but you are not. You have not earned any fame.

All Freljordian champions; -The death and the cold are similar, for you barbarians welcome Him.

Jhin; A composer of death ... But which composition do you perform for me?

Friendly / Confederate;

Singed;

  • This time .... this time ....

Teemo; -The Lord of hell and an apostle of death, what can NOT go wrong?

Vayne; -Please stop me and not these worthless souls!

Shadow Isles-Champs (excluded Kalista / Karthus); -I tolerate you, for now.

  • You're lucky that we're on the same team

Kalista; -And finally I get my revenge -Lady Kalista, avenge me.

Nasus; -Sets now we are Both poor Eternal souls

Maokai; -I can finish your suffering if you want it

Gangplank;

  • Shhow me how to deceive death like this

Special interactions / kills / deaths:

Killing series; -You are all damned!

  • So many souls, so little interest in them
  • Your life was once -one more who wants to defy death?

More than 2x killed the same champion in a row; -You must have a real liking ... or think seriously you have a chance.

Pentakill; -No man flees before his condemnation -Now this is how you kill

Ace; -Soul clean-up service ... I hate this place already

Killing series Interrupted by death; -finally ... my .... end ....

Respawn; -NO! -ARGH, I'm still alive! HOW SO!? -and i already got my hopes up.

Special Interactions / Epic Monsters:

Herald of the rift;

  • Ugly beast!! to kill you should be a reward -An eye on your back? Now I've seen everything

Elementary Dragons; -humble creature of old times .... not for long

  • I have to "lend" your powers

Baron Nashor; -Oh, God, from what dung have you risen?

  • Goodness, would never have thought that I would actually be rejoiced to kill.

Special interactions / items

Normal item purchase; Gold always has a value in life

Berserk boots;

  • The clothes of a barbarian ... Dirty Thing

Mercury boots; -Familiar Name...Mercury...

Ninja tabi; -The shoes of the night-slayers

Youmuus ghost blade;

  • Awesome sword, Obscene sword holder
  • A spirit of war

Duskblade of drakhtarr; -A twilight? Rather like a flashlight shadow

Infinity edge; -Nah that's what I call an instrument of Eternal Death

Blade of the ruined King;

  • A relic of the memory of a corrupted man ... fits me -It was a worthless legacy, but the blade is still worth it.

Lord Dominik's greetings; -Greeting back!

Mortal reminder; -If the thing would work the way it was named

Trinity force;

  • excited whistling -Union power .... united suffering

edge of the night; -Who still needs the thing today? Must I really accept now?

Dance of death;

  • You were the dance ... I was your stage, and your dancer.

ravenous hydra; -Gluttony, a great bait for death-addicts

SO, i hope you all like this new idea and i hope it could also provide some reading material too :D please leave honest critics if you think that my idea is too meh, too op or you just think it sucks cuz why not, but please don't just downvote without any valuable reason, if you detest my idea have at least the courtesy to tell me why, otherwise i am left to assume you downvote me out of jealousy for my greatness, which really would be appreciated.

3 Comments

Eternal Torment3/21/2017, 5:25:25 AM1 votes

Seems like noone wants to offer a feedback

You Disgust Me3/21/2017, 6:20:09 PM1 votes

Hello, I'll critique your champion design. Also, if possible, please provide an example of skill order and extensive gameplay analysis.


Passive:

  • As it stands, there is way too much going on here. How exactly does an enemy champion get "Brand"-ed. I noticed in your lore that the champion was an intended "clone of Kindred" so is that what you meant, Kindred's passive? But what I can see, you have at least 3 or 4 different types of passive's worth of bonuses going on here.

  • Let me list them out for you: -A permanent AD indefinite cap upon kill. -An extended slow that procs on three hits via skill that grants true sight. -An improved version of Jarvan IV's Martial Cadence that not only scales with your AD and their max health, but also has base a damage and heals a portion of the damage dealt and also affects minions. (<- This one needs to be broken up.)

I would suggest you pick one and revolve your kit around it.

This leaves me with some major concerns... ಠ_ಠ


Q:

  • This feels a lot like Renekton's Q. An "opponent" is very vague. It can mean enemy minion, monster, or champion; be more specific. If it is a minion, then the healing needs to be less effective against minions.

W:

  • The way you described it feels a lot like your Q mixed in with Darius's E and W. Also, don't the enemies hit by your skills already receive a stack of "Curse of the Damned"? Why do you need it to apply twice?

E:

  • This skill is very weird in terms of gameplay. First you have instant invisiblity with a relatively high duration that auto readies your enhanced passive. Seems very similar in gameplay like Kha'zix's R combo'd with his Unseen Predator. Second the Fear seems unnecessary with the Stealth and maybe a bit overkill in lane. You already have 2 healing mechanics in your kit, but with this skill you also have a method to disrupt minion aggro like Volibear. That doesn't seem very fair in terms of trading.
  • Assassins don't always need to have stealth. Usually they have some kind of mechanic that allows them to get-in and get-out, (with exception Rengar). But yeah, the stealth feels a little out of place when he has a bruiser-type kit.

R:

  • Reading this skill made my brain hurt. You should probably reword this better, especially this: "Eternal Unrest and Curse of the Damned do not additionally grant the attack damage bonus, but Curse of the Damned, if Triggered, is still set to Cooldown for the target." <- Simplify it.
  • Feels very similar to Xin Zhao's R.
  • Overall I think this skill's damage is way too high. I'm not sure if the selected target takes both instances of damage.

TLDR; To be brutally honest with you, this champion's kit is kind of a mess. His passive is extremely overloaded. He is an Assassin based fighter that has the sustain of a bruiser/tank. That's not really healthy in terms of gameplay.