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Suleiman : The Betrayed Priest

Persis1380·12/27/2019, 9:11:27 AM·2 votes·2,140 views

Lore: In small village of Demacia,stood a church which was founded by a family of priests.It was built for helping anyone in need and paying respects to the gods and pray for their blessing and kindness towards the mortals of the world. It was run by many generations of the Bertholds family(the founding family of the church). Through years of service and loyalty to the gods the 6th generation were given a holy gift.A child with magical powers. Though Demacia's rules forbid any use of magic,this child was kept hidden until he grew older and became a priest! He was known as Suleiman the Healer.Since he used his magics to heals and pray for their safety and happiness in the world of heavens. One day when he was out helping a high priest of a great church far away,Demacian soldiers assaulted his hometown and took his wife and child,Surin and Helena,which also happened to have magical abilities, away. As he was coming back home the high priest gave him an ancient book as a gift and told him never to open it unless he was in desperate need of help. When Suleiman came back he was shocked and heart-broken. Seeking help from anyone he knew,the doors were shut one after another in his face. No one would help this faithful servant of the gods because he was a mage. After some time thinking about a way to stop this unfair rule against mages he decided to introduce himself to the prince of Demacia,Jarvan IV. After telling his whole story to the prince there was an awful silence taking over the room. Suddenly Jarvan IV stood up and said:"Leave!" Suleiman felt even more pain when jarvan looked at his eyes with pure hatred. From that day on Suleiman vowed to help any mage in every way he can regardless of the consequences and to stop the Demacian rule's cruel laws. He read the ancient book given to him by the high priest and learned all the holy magical powers in order to pursue his goal for true justice and safety for all mortals.

(Now into the ability list)

Passive:Ancient Secrets Suleiman gains 10 Magic Penetration whenever he hits a champions 3 times and the 4th hit will be empowered.Can be stacked to 2 times.

Q:Might of the Gods Suleiman summons a holy lightning dealing 40/65/90/115/140 magical damage to any enemy in the target area. Passive:Targets hit by the lightning will be visible for 2 seconds and slowed by 10% of their movement speed.

W:Holy gift Suleiman shields himself for 5%/8%/11%/14%/17% of his max health. Cast on ally:Suleiman shields an ally that absorbs 100 damage and heals them for 5%/10%/15%/20%/25% of their missing health

E:Betrayals Unforgiven Suleiman hurls a wave of light in a cone that stuns any champion hit for 1.25/1.5/1.75/2.0/2.25 seconds

R:The Holy Cathedral Suleiman summons the ancient soul of the mighty cathedral and traps any ally and enemy inside for 6 seconds,dealing 100/200/300 magical damage to any enemies trapped in the cathedral. Allies in the cathedral will gain 10% movement speed. Passive:Wrath of the Betrayed Priest If Suleiman dies in the cathedral,all enemies trapped inside the cathedral will have reduced movement speed upto 20% of their own.

Recommended roles: Support Top

Leave comments so I can improve this idea or make a better one in the future. And thanks for your time.

7 Comments

NF Remilia12/27/2019, 9:31:55 AM2 votes

The name is tied up to religion. So better start with changing the name. Over all it looks great. Also the R name as well.

Persis138012/27/2019, 9:57:34 AM1 votes

Ok then any suggestions for a new name?

Chubby Platypus1/1/2020, 7:26:36 AM1 votes

Hey there! Chubby here with another of my crazy reviews! To start off, I'll have to do some more research on the topic at hand (Demacian gods and what not), but let's assume this is, without a doubt, completely valid. The lore is a bit dry in terms of juicy, flavorful, text that help the reader get a deeper understanding of the world Suleiman is surrounded by, but that can be fixed lol so don't worry too much about it. I would defenitly welcome another religion into League actually, since we're really only been exposed to a couple right now and we're due for some more world building, but more about that in a bit. For now let's jump into the abilities!

Passive:Ancient Secrets Suleiman gains 10 Magic Penetration whenever he hits a champions 3 times and the 4th hit will be empowered.Can be stacked to 2 times.

Does this passive have a timer (ex. after X seconds the stacks disappear)? If so, then the ability is fine. When you mention "hits a champion 3 times" does this include basic attacks, or is this strictly spells or a combination of both? I would like to learn a little bit more about this "empowerment" that you speak of. What does this empowerment entail: more damage, a bonus effect? In the event that the stacks don't fall off after a certain time, I would suggest lowering the magic penetration gained since having 20 magic penetration in the early game could be a bit overwhelming. You could also increase the number of stacks (ex. 10 stacks) but have each stack grant you 2 magic penetration. This way you still total out to 20 magic penetration, but will slow down the rate at which you acquire it. This will ensure that this ability will scale into the late game and will reward players for committing to gaining stacks while punishing them if they overextend in their trades. High risk, high reward.

Q:Might of the Gods Suleiman summons a holy lightning dealing 40/65/90/115/140 magical damage to any enemy in the target area. Passive:Targets hit by the lightning will be visible for 2 seconds and slowed by 10% of their movement speed.

This is an ability that I think would benefit a lot from further exploring the lore. Instead of naming this "Might of the Gods" you could replace it to match the name of the actual god that Suleiman serves (ex. similar to how Illaoi's abilities are based around tentacles due to her god). You could come up with a name for your god (idk... Hamalayi) and replace the name of this ability with the god: "Might of Manalayi". Get it? But as for the ability itself, it has a similar function to that of Xerath's W which is fine as is. The slow is minimal but it should get the job done. I approve!

W:Holy gift Suleiman shields himself for 5%/8%/11%/14%/17% of his max health. Cast on ally:Suleiman shields an ally that absorbs 100 damage and heals them for 5%/10%/15%/20%/25% of their missing health

A rather contrasting difference between the self cast and ally cast on this ability. Usually spells like these function in a linear fashion (ex. they provide the same utility for the caster as they do for the ally target), but not this one. Is this a thematic decision? Suleiman's god favors Suleiman and thus helps out more than he would any other target? Hmmm interesting concept. I see you mentioned that one of Suleiman's primary role is as a top laner and a support- is he suppose to build tanky? The % scaling on this ability will be almost unnoticeable unless he's building health. Just a thought. I like the concept though, just needs a little polishing up!

E:Betrayals Unforgiven Suleiman hurls a wave of light in a cone that stuns any champion hit for 1.25/1.5/1.75/2.0/2.25 seconds

This one sounds a little loaded, on paper lol. Does this ability have a short range? I'm scared that an AoE stun that lasts 2.25 seconds as a basic ability might overwhelm the enemy team. If this ability has a short range then I can see this being more palatable, but as it stands I think it might be providing too much utility. Lower the numbers would help, but also making it so that only the first champion struck is stunned could help. Also, does this ability do no damage?

R:The Holy Cathedral Suleiman summons the ancient soul of the mighty cathedral and traps any ally and enemy inside for 6 seconds,dealing 100/200/300 magical damage to any enemies trapped in the cathedral. Allies in the cathedral will gain 10% movement speed. Passive:Wrath of the Betrayed Priest If Suleiman dies in the cathedral,all enemies trapped inside the cathedral will have reduced movement

Lol he summons a literal cathedral? Wow I'm impressed. I'm going to need to see the size of this ability, because the fact that it traps the enemies inside is huge factor for this ability. When Suleiman dies in the cathedral and debuffs the enemies inside, does this debuff last until the ability is over or is this intended to be a permanent slow (please say no)? I feel like this ability is a little underwhelming. At best it's a good zoning tool that could serve as engage or disengage (it's basically Camille R but actually avoidable). I'd like to see this idea expanded on. Perhaps instead of the movement speed you could heal your allies instead? Make this ability have an impact that means something. It needs a buff!

This was a very modest review brought to you by the one and only Chubby Platypus (lmao I'm literally a nobody). I hope you enjoyed it and it gave you some insight as to what you might need to consider in order to move your champion concept further along. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any further questions. As for me, I would like to extend my hand out to you and offer my assistance in helping you flesh out your character concept! If you would like to collaborate with me let me know! Cheers!

  • Chubby