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[Champion Concept] Amoline, the Shadow Witch

ZaneShadow··10 votes·2,631 views

Amoline, The Shadow Witch

Biography: Amoline was born a normal girl in a normal Demacian home. Her life was simple and she was happy. Things started to turn for the worst though when her magic tallent showed up. Suddenly she lived in fear of herself and that people would find out about her powers. Eventually, her fears were realized when a group of mage hunter’s showed up at her families door steps. Her parent’s begged her not to fight back and she was dragged off to an annulment slum, a place where mages were thrown to keep them away from the “good people”. Time grew bitterness into a want for revenge, and Amoline knew where to go for it: Noxus

She quickly enrolled in the Bleak Accademy, a place renowned for its powerful and dark magics. She studied day and night and wrote many theses of magic. Her performance was so successful she worked with the likes of Professor Pididly and even Grand General Swain to create abominations such as Urgot and Sion. She let her anger fueled her, all the way to a chance encounter with a man named Gregori Hastur. He opened her eyes to what the high command of Noxus did and how horribly they treated the citizens. She wasn't burning down oppression, but simply building up corruption and giving them weapons to enforce it.

Amoline helped lead an effort to recruit others to resist the oppresion and it went well for a time. Eventually the Hight Command Amoline had served turned against her and small acts of violence and terror began against her group. Gregori and her took their group and fled the country before any other acts of violence could be taken against them and started a long journey to find a place to settle. Most countries feared them, wondering if they were a Noxian invasion army in disguise. After many failed attempts, they found a home in the Voodoo Lands, a place many failed to settle before them. As they set up a town, Amoline was able to use her powers to keep many of the lands curses at bay, as well as to develope some defences of artificial creatures and shadows.

Amoline and Gregori eventually had a child, Annie. Her birth effected Amoline deeply. While her daughter was anthing but helpless, the thought of her "greatest" works finding their way back to her haunted Amoline's thougts. The abomination's she created and the enemies she had made were vile monsters. The difference between the good of bringing her daughter into the world and the evil of her constructions eventually grew too much for Amoline to do nothing about. As the town grew and Annie needed her less (picking up some of her mothers personality to her enjoyment), Amoline began to wander nearby lands for a chance to undo some of what she had created. She recieved a little hope that maybe Demacia wouldn't be a problem after an encounter with a light mage. While Amoline found the blond girl absolutely annoying it gave her hope that an organization existed that actually used mages. Now she focuses her efforts towards Noxus, hopping to undo her undead works, and hold off any lingering hatred they have towards her.

https://www.deviantart.com/sirtiefling/art/The-Accursed-Shadow-342375143

Game Play

Base Stats Health: 525 (+79.7 per level)(1,880 at level 18) Health Regen: 7.5 (+0.5 per level)(16 at level 18) **Mana:**400 (+58.9 per level)(1401 at level 18) **Mana Regen:**6 (+0.8 per level)(19.6 at level 18) Basic Attack Range: 460 Attack Damage: 50.5 (+2.7 per level)(95.9 at level 18) **Attack Speed: **0.625(+1.9%1 per level)(38.5 at level 18) Armor: 21.5 (+4.71 per level)(101.1 at level 18) Magic Resist: 30 (+0.5 per level)(38.5 at level 18) Move. Speed: 325

  • Passive: Nightmare fuel: Global Cooldown: 12/10/8 seconds (level 1/8/15). When an enemy is within the shadowed area the nearest beacon will spawn a Shadow Beast that will follow the nearest enemy.

Shadowed Area: Outlined in a Purplish Smoke surrounding a shadow beacon (see E). When an enemy is inside the area they have 60% reduced vision and Enemies wards inside have 20% reduced vision. Does not suppress control wards. Enemies maintain normal global vision on the mini map. Shadowed area disperses at 100 units inward per second towards the beacon that produced it if that beacon is destroyed.

Shadow Beast: Creatures of Amoline's creation spawned from Shadow Beacons, They attack the nearest enemy and are untargetable. Jump at enemies within 175 units from them and explode into dark mist, dealing 50-120 damage(+30% Ability Power) to specific target and causing them to flee for 1-2 seconds based on level. Targets hit are immune to shadow Beast fear for 10 seconds. They dissapear if they leave the shadowed area after .75 seconds.

  • Q: Stealing Shadows: Cooldown: 2 Cost: 30/37/45/52/60 Range: 400 Effect Radius: 120 Amoline deals 85/110/135/160/185 Magic Damage (+50% Ability Power) and gains life equal to a percent of damage dealt. (15% spellvamp.) Amoline creates a vortex of shadows in a target area that after a .6 seconds delay deals damage in the area of effect. Half her cool down is refunded if she is inside shadowed area.

  • ** W: Beacon of Shadow:** Cooldown: 13/11/9/7/5 Cost: 70 Range: 400 Amoline sets a Shadow Beacon that spread's shadowed area outward at 100 radial units per second. At full active beacon covers 400/475/550/625/700 unit radius circle in SHADOW. Each Beacon has 5 hp and grants 8 gold for destroying it. The number of active beacon's she can have place on the map is 4/5/7/8/10.

  • E: Darkness Warp: Cooldown: 17/16/15/14/13 Cost: 80/90/100/110/120 Range: 700 Amoline disperses into shadows then reforms on target location. Enemies within 175 units of Amoline are dealt (65/95/125/155/185)(+25% ability power) and enemies within 300 units are forced to flee for 1.3 seconds. If she warps from shadowed area, her range is increased to 850.

  • R: Ring of Darkness: Cooldown: 140/120/100 Cost: 100 Range: self Effect Radius: 650 Create a dome of darkness that enemies cannot see into for 1.5/2.25/3 seconds. Enemies inside loose 90% vision for 1 second and then slowly restored over .5/1.25/2 seconds. For EACH enemy hit, a shadow beacon spawns fully prepared and instantly summons a Shadow beast from EACH of these beacons abd others in the AoE (includes any that already exist). These beacon's do not count toward's your maximum but break apart ater 45 second's.

Notes of gameplay

Harassing from the Dark: Amoline's Q can reach a few units farther than an enemy inside of shadow's can see. This mean's that she can do light harrassment from out of vision, but it's fairly easy to dodge. She can also Auto attack from out of vision, but the direction of the attack give's her away.

Shadow Beacons and her Ult: It is crucial to note that unlike Teemo mushrooms or Zyra Plant's, Amoline's Beacons do not grant vision. They are a vision denial tool, not a free map wide info gathering network. Also, as vision is restored, if enemy champions are still inside shadowed area as vision return's, their vision returns to shadowed areas size over the duration.

Why only One way to spread Shadows: Riot has experimented with Champion's that spread something across the map. The issue they found was it was too strenuous on low end computers becuase there were too many particle effects. To counter this, Amoline's Shadowed Area uses very few particle effects, simply a purply mist around its edges. also, to avoid even more stress to computers, I avoided having Amoline's other abilities from leaving short lived shadowed effects behind. For the story behind Riot's experiment, Click Here

Built to Jungle: Amoline is designed as a Battle Mage Jungler. She has a large AoE spell with Life Steal attached to help her farm effectively early game. One of her first goal's should regulaly be Blue Buff as she does burn through a lot of mana, and she deffinitly should pick up a Jungle potion to help sustain her mana. A Catylist of Aeons and/or an Archangle's Staff to help her maintain life/mana even further. Her Ability to Gank lanes is a bit slower as her Shadow Warp first disperses before reforming, but packs a strong Crowd to counterballance the duration issue.

Why Jungle instead of lane?: Amoline's beacon's dont suppress vision until the enemy is inside. So a Caitlyn or Jinx can fully see one in a straight, open lane and take it out without even entering its range at lower levels. A jungle doesn't allow for these clear direct lines of vision, helping hide the exact location of a Beacon and preventing a sniper from picking it off without even entering its AoE.

Weakness/Strength: Amoline is extremely powerful against Junglers like Lee Sin, Zac, or Kindred, who relly heavily on sight to aim engage tool's or have their attacks track for them. Amoline is hard countered by Rek'sai as she doesn't even use vision to track opponents and can neutralize her shadow ability with Tremor Sense. A less strong counter is Elise, who with her mini spiders can destroy Shadow Beacons in the blink of an eye.

Range Reference Guide

Competion Bonus effects

Good Neighbor bonus: https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/645Y0QN8-ccos-entrant-spawning-horde-champion?comment=0001

Out Reach Bonus https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/i5RAlj7J-champion-concept-quezyn-avao-of-luminous-void?comment=0004

18 Comments

ModThe Djinn3 votes

So I saw your entry in the CCOS, and figured I'd pop in to take a look!

First off, welcome to the boards! Always great to see new faces around, so it's fantastic to have you here!

Gonna give you some quick thoughts on the kit you've got here -- I may swing by for a few lore comments later, but kits are something I'm more comfortable with. :P

E:Cursed Tree: cooldown 13/11/9/7/5 Cost: 70 Range: 400 Amoline plants a tree that over 5 seconds grows into a full tree, gradually spreading shadowed area. At full grown the tree covers 475 units in SHADOW. Each tree is untargetable unless “revealed” by a control ward or sweeper lense. Each tree takes 4 attacks to destroy and each tree grants Amoline 1 Ability power. Trees may not be planted in existing shadowed area.

Shadowed Area: Outlined in a Purplish Smoke, when an enemy inside this area, they have 60% reduced vision and Enemies wards inside have 33% reduced vision. They maintain normal global vision on the mini map

I'm covering this ability first, as it's super important for the rest of her kit. For future reference, putting a note of this sort of dependence is useful -- when reading through her passive I was REALLY confused until I saw this ability and knew what you meant by trees and shadowed areas.

In general I'm not a fan of this ability. All extra levels grants you is a reduced cooldown, it's MANDATORY at level 1 to get any benefit from her passive, and it's a wide-AoE vision denial tool on a very low cooldown that's only countered by wards or a long cooldown item. That's a lot of frustration for the enemy team, a TON of vision denial around important objectives, a low enough cooldown that having one destroyed isn't really a penalty, and a weird AP bonus that isn't big enough to be impactful -- or that encourages you just covering the ENTIRE map in trees, which is not fun for you (feels like a chore) or the enemy (who just has no vision anywhere now).

Passive: Nightmare fuel: Cooldown 10 seconds. When an enemy is within the shadowed area, the nearest tree will spawn a Shadow Beast disguised as Amoline until within 400 units of the enemy champion.

Shadow Beast: Creatures of the Voodoo Forest, They attack the nearest enemy and are untargetable. Jump at enemies within 175 units from them and explode into dark mist, dealing 50-120 damage(+30% Ability Power) to specific target and causing them to flee for 1-2 seconds based on level. Targets hit are immune to shadow Beast fear for 25 seconds

Your shadowed area can be HUGE. So is this cooldown per-tree? Is it per-enemy? Is it a global cooldown that triggers whenever an enemy enters the area? I'm also not sure why it disguises as Amoline -- it's pretty obvious that it's not her when it pops into existence and begins trying to close to melee range.

Otherwise, the idea of a trap that spawns an attacker when approached is a unique twist on the trap mechanic that I rather enjoy. I CAN see it being oppressive in lane though -- you can sort of zone an enemy off the wave entirely by placing forward trees and hitting them with beasts every 10 seconds and, unless they're burning all their vision trinkets and wards (and thus not warding) they can do nothing to stop it.

Q: Stealing Shadows: Cooldown 1.33 Cost: 45/55/65/75 Range: 500 Effect Radius: 88 Amoline deals 55/65/75/85/95 Magic Damage (+45% Ability Power) (15% spellvamp.) Amoline creates a vortex of shadows in a target area that spirals inward for .45 seconds before damage is dealt.

...does this scale on Spell Vamp? I suspect you meant that Amoline regains health equal to 15% of the damage dealt. It's a fine ability, but it definitely makes her feel a bit like Karthus, since this is Lay Waste with more starting base damage but less ending base damage, better scaling, and healing instead of bonus damage against isolated targets. It also has a lower range and a much higher cost, meaning you're going to DRAIN your mana bar.

It's functional, but it's not something particularly unique, and definitely is very close to a defining trait of another character.

W: Darkness Warp: Cooldown: 10 Cost: 80/90/100/110/120 Range: 700 Amoline disperses into shadows then reforms on target location. Enemies within 175/200/225/250/275 units of Amoline are foreced to flee for 1 second.

This one I quite like, although the cooldown seems a bit low for a blink with crowd control attached. My bigger concern is that it's a close range move...on a kit designed around, it seems, ranged harass through Q and auto-attacks and zone control with E. This would be an awesome move for a more melee focused shadow mage who uses this as their main initiation, but I'm puzzled by it's placement here. Maybe if it feared enemies around her CURRENT location and was designed as an escape tool? But that's then an extremely strong escape. Hm.

R: Ring of Darkness: Cooldown: 100/90/80 Cost: 100/150/200 Range: self AoE: 700 Create a dome of darkness that disperses over 1/1.75/2.5 seconds and plants a number of voodoo trees equal to the number of enemy champions hit in the area on perimeter of circle. Enemy champion and wards loose 100% of vision that rapidly returns over 1/1.75/2.5 seconds to unaffected state. Each tree in the area Spawns a shadow beast and puts her passive on cooldown.

100% of vision is rough. Nocturne style vision loss might be better -- it's a VERY small radius that you can see, but it's still something, so you don't lose track of your character. Other than that this ability is thematically cool, but suffers from the same clarity issues and gameplay issues that her passive and E already do.

#Closing Thoughts You have some interesting ideas here, and it's a pretty good first draft -- especially for your first boards concept. I don't think the whole kit really comes together though, and I think you may have leaned a bit too heavily on the trees, which, as designed, aren't healthy or fun for gameplay.

I get that you like the tree angle, but it seems like you may need to take another swing at how you present it -- or if it's needed. The character does live in a forest, but I didn't seem to get the idea from what you wrote in the lore that she'd be the sort to make the forest her primary means of fighting -- it seems more that she's a powerful shadow mage who happens to LIVE in a forest. Might just be my reading of it though.

Of the abilities, I think your W is the strongest, both in terms of visual flavor (it's basically a Reaper teleport from Overwatch with a fear on the end, which is VERY shadow mage-y) and in terms of mechanics (simple, yet offers choices in use since feared targets run AWAY from you, letting you use it as a normal blink, a zoning tool, or a means to drive an ally into your own team). I'd be curious to see a pitch around a more mid-range mage where that becomes an ability designed to get you into your preferred combat range.

Anyway, just thoughts. Take them, as always, with a grain of salt. I also apologize -- I get REALLY into analysis, and it can sometimes come off as a bit harsh. I do enjoy the concept, and you do have some strong ideas. :)

ZaneShadow1 votes

Wow, thank you so much that helped a lot. Can i bounce some ideas off you?

So I move the secontion about shadowed area underneath her passive. ** UPING Q DAMAGE TO MAKE HER A BIT MORE LIKE HER DAUGHTER:** THat is true about her W putting her too close for comfort for a mid range harrass. Tell me if this sounds a little more in jive with her kit. I shortened Q's range but then REALLY upped the damage to closer to Karthus to account for the shorter range. Karthus's Q is also shared by Cassiopia so I feel like its more a generic ability but it got me thinking. I'm Thinking about upping the cooldown but then letting her get a CDR bonus inside the shadowed area. That way there a thematic reason to do this as well.

**WHY THE Q IS SO STUPPID EXPENSIVE: **Oh and i should mention the Q is supper expensive so you can't afford to spam trees in lane until late game.

MAKING HER PASSIVE LESS OPPRESSIVE: Her passive did feel a little oppressive when you mentioned it. So i added a way out. Now if you leave the shadowed area the shadow beast disperse after like a second. That way you can simply avoid the shadowed area. I also upped the cooldown for 3 seconds and mentioned it was a global ability.

VISION AND TREE PROBLEMS: As for the oppressive nature of her trees, i tried to compensate. I lowered the hp of a tree to 2 so you can kill it easier and they now award 8 gold for destroying them. That way a good level 9 sweeper could get rid of 3-4 trees and a well placed control ward 2-3, and they are awarded for destroying them. I also made it so that the area the ree cover's scales with each point put in so you get a little bit more than CDR for your trouble, and started the trees at a lower vision radius of 400 and grows to 500.

** HOW TO SOLVE LANING OPPRESSION IDEA:** I made it so ANY ward reveals the tree's meaning that as long as a laner places a ward in lane, they should be safe from tree's encroaching too far. Then

ULT A LITTLE TOO... DARK: So I put the vision loss down to 90% (so your not a little person floating in darkness for even part of a second, that would be weird.) but theres a reason it's so high. Its that you get vision back over the course of the ultimate, unlike nocturn who its all gone, then all back.

THEMATIC FIX: Im renaming her trees beacons, and i feel like this might fix the problem. I'll change shadow beast's to this idea they are spawned by the Beacon's which might jive more with the fact she worked in the Noxus accademy and created abominations. WHat do you think of that as a theme fix? ~~ I'll wait to hear back because that could involve a lore rewrite for her last paragraph or two.~~ I went ahead and rewrote it as it just sounded so much better.

ModThe Djinn1 votes

{quoted}

Wow, thank you so much that helped a lot. Can i bounce some ideas off you?

Of course!

**WHY THE Q IS SO STUPPID EXPENSIVE: **Oh and i should mention the Q is supper expensive so you can't afford to spam trees in lane until late game.

Then find another way to limit beacon spam, such as a charge system or a limit to how many you can have active dependent on ability level. Gating her this way is actually crippling her ability to use what seems supposed to be her most frequent and reliable attack, and that means she'll struggle to lane and almost certainly struggle to jungle. There's no use to a 1.3 second cooldown if you only have the mana to use it a handful of times.

That cooldown is Karthus/Evelyn frequency of casting, and those abilities have mana costs in the 15-25 range at the low level and the 30-40 range at the max level. This is twice that

UPING Q DAMAGE TO MAKE HER A BIT MORE LIKE HER DAUGHTER:** THat is true about her W putting her too close for comfort for a mid range harrass. Tell me if this sounds a little more in jive with her kit. I shortened Q's range but then REALLY upped the damage to closer to Karthus to account for the shorter range. Karthus's Q is also shared by Cassiopia so I feel like its more a generic ability but it got me thinking. I'm Thinking about upping the cooldown but then letting her get a CDR bonus inside the shadowed area. That way there a thematic reason to do this as well.

VISION AND TREE PROBLEMS: As for the oppressive nature of her trees, i tried to compensate. I lowered the hp of a tree to 2 so you can kill it easier and they now award 8 gold for destroying them. That way a good level 9 sweeper could get rid of 3-4 trees and a well placed control ward 2-3, and they are awarded for destroying them. I also made it so that the area the ree cover's scales with each point put in so you get a little bit more than CDR for your trouble, and started the trees at a lower vision radius of 400 and grows to 500.

The problem is that they're invincible normally, can ONLY be revealed by a limited resource (and one with valuable other uses and/or a gold cost), have a low cooldown to replace, and are SUPER frustrating since they provide zoning power and vision denial. It's less about the health/gold/radius and more just about the sheer frustration and annoying mechanics of the ability.

** HOW TO SOLVE LANING OPPRESSION IDEA:** I made it so ANY ward reveals the tree's meaning that as long as a laner places a ward in lane, they should be safe from tree's encroaching too far.

This is a bit better, but I'm still curious as to why these need to be hidden at all. What's your thinking here?

ULT A LITTLE TOO... DARK: So I put the vision loss down to 90% (so your not a little person floating in darkness for even part of a second, that would be weird.) but theres a reason it's so high. Its that you get vision back over the course of the ultimate, unlike nocturn who its all gone, then all back.

That's fine. I just wanted to make sure you never lost sight of your character, is all. :)

ZaneShadow1 votes

Thank you so much for the help!!!

Then find another way to limit beacon spam, such as a charge system or a limit to how many you can have active dependent on ability level. Gating her this way is actually crippling her ability to use what seems supposed to be her most frequent and reliable attack, and that means she'll struggle to lane and almost certainly struggle to jungle. There's no use to a 1.3 second cooldown if you only have the mana to use it a handful of times.

That cooldown is Karthus/Evelyn frequency of casting, and those abilities have mana costs in the 15-25 range at the low level and the 30-40 range at the max level. This is twice that

Hmm I think that my favorite idea is limiting their use based on number of ranks taken. I think that they will still be fairly common, but not "the map is covered MUHAHAHA" level. I'm thinking 4/5/7/8/10 can be placed. That way at latter levels She can actually cover a fair amount of the map, but at low level's on tightly defend one region at a time, since it takes two just to fully cover river at rank 1. in one spot. This is a great idea thanks!

So I'll reduce the cost down to 30 at level 1 mainly because there is a life steal attacked to this move. That has a lot of staying power and she could potentially farm indeffinitly in a lane. Same problem riot has with vladimir is what im hopping to avoid.

The problem is that they're invincible normally, can ONLY be revealed by a limited resource (and one with valuable other uses and/or a gold cost), have a low cooldown to replace, and are SUPER frustrating since they provide zoning power and vision denial. It's less about the health/gold/radius and more just about the sheer frustration and annoying mechanics of the ability.

I'm hoping these nerfs of limiting their numbers will really help make it less frustrating and more of a "do i really want to go in there?" question. Once again, hoping her late game when the whole map opens up and deep set up inside your own jungle is a must with her to limit enemy movement inside, she wont have as much available for objective or

This is a bit better, but I'm still curious as to why these need to be hidden at all. What's your thinking here?

Well, i was mainly afraid that if they weren't invisible, the enemy could simply whipe them out any time for a free be. Her passive might only prock once for every two trees they took out. Honestly i was supper worried that vulnerable beacons meant her entire kit would struggle. It's already not very suddle when she want's to gank lanes as she has to set up trees and the works, but I see your point now. But! With limited tree placement now, hopefully invisible wont be too bad. Heck, if you think that it'd be alright, id probably pull off the revealed by regular wards bit by how few she has early game.

ZaneShadow1 votes

Haha ya I realized after you pointed that out and I just about laughed at what that would look like. Thanks for the catch on the ult being a bit too dark.

ZaneShadow2 votes

Anyone who happens to see this, there is a sweet competition going on for Champion ideas. Check it out at https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/TeRqTxRI-ccos-june-ccos-entry-time-enter-here

ModCaptainMårvelous2 votes

I'm more about lore than anything else so bear with me.

I like the idea (and have been pining for) a counter to Riven. A champion who went to Noxus because their own city was too strict. Demacia is also a perfect fit and it's a great idea in theory. Barring some minor errors ( She studdied day and night and wrote many theses of magic. ) your writing is pretty great as well. If I had any actual criticism, it'd have to be the story content.

You have a lot of things going on at once in your story. As an example, take Yasuo:

Amazing samurai Wrongly framed for murder Had to kill his brother Wants to find the murderer.

A core story surrounded by a few tidbits. Comparatively, here is the story you're putting together:

Magic woman Fled to Noxus due to Demacian hatred Works as a mage in Noxus Finds Noxus no better than Demacia Goes off to make her own town. She's also Annie's mom.

There's a lot to Amoline's story that feels like retreading the same ground. Not to say having a realization is bad but it feels like the way it's written feels like a rehash. She experiences prejudice in Demacia. She goes to Noxus. Experiences prejudice in Noxus. You can cut down or tweak this, for sure. It also feels like her being Annie's mother is totally glossed over. Like a side fact thrown in despite it being one of the most major points about her. She's the mother to one of League's oldest champions (ironic considering Annie's age), that should be a HUGE DEAL.

In addition, Amoline has no goal to strive to. No overarching mission she wants to accomplish. If you remember old Trundle, one of the reasons he was changed was because his "story" was finished. He had nothing left to do. Amoline feels the same way; Her arc is technically done. Couple that with all the story parts, she feels more like a background character than a fully fledged hero of the story. Again, your writing and your character aren't bad! You just need to polish the story a bit. So here are some recommendations from me:

  • Have Amoline have a reason to leave the forest or give her motivation to act. Maybe the war between Noxus and Demacia is getting heated and she wants to save as many mages as possible.
  • Cut down on the backstory if it's not vital. Focus less on who she was and more on the major events that shaped her life. (Less "Poor mage in Demacia", more "Escaping Noxus")
  • Focus more on rivalries. Who does she hate more? Which characters give her cause for trouble? Who exactly is she protecting her daughter from?

You have a great base to work with. All you need is a bit of refined polish.

ZaneShadow1 votes

Thank you for the lore help, I really appreciate it. Just to follow up heres what i changed

  • Turned Orphan girl section into just a sentence.
  • Emphasized Noxian corruption and less repeat of demacia feel.
  • Mentioned how Annie effects her mentality and gives her a drive to want to undo the undead creations she made and snuff out any vengeful enemies over her leaving.
  • Also added a little Lux reference to point her worries away from Demacian childhood and more at her undead creations. Also kind of explains that Amoline and Lux are like mismatched gears and grind against each other, despite being on the same side for the most part.
  • There is a Zed reference in her short story, to slighly reference the fact they are both based on shadow magic but have completely opposite mentalities.
Raxistaicho1 votes

Issue with the lore is that Demacia canonically is willing to secretly employ mages born into it to for secret operations - or else banish them. I can buy them publicly having her hauled off if her powers were blatant enough, but outside the city they'd probably hit her up with the same deal Lux got.

Now from there there's no real issue with her leaving for Noxus. Maybe just have Amoline eventually come to detest that she was never given a genuine choice in the matter.

Passive - Main concern is that Amoline has no passive until she ranks her E and it sounds like this could easily be a component of her E itself. The shadow sight restriction is an interesting thing, maybe make it so it's a component of her damaging abilities. Balance wise everything looks fair - though the sight given by the shadow zone has to go - but the fear cooldown can be removed entirely. The fear comes from a suicide strike so each shadow gets 1 fear per spawn, and there's a static 10 seconds between spawns. A 10 second cooldown on a creature that can't leave a set zone is more than fair.

Honestly, going forward with my previous idea, you might make it so the shadow zones can stick to enemy champions and direct her shadow beasts to chase them down. Kinda like a combination of Malzahar's voidlings but with Nocturne's Q. Sorta.

You might also consider attaching a damage over time to enemies wandering around in her shadows.

Q - Rearrange the description, I didn't know what the spiraling thing had to do with anything at first. Range is ridiculously short for a non-targeted ability, but since it heals her I guess the intent is she just gets dangerously lose for a mage and sustains off constant spell barrage. I'd call this unfair but Cassiopeia has something like this. And infinite mana. Really this is Like Karthus or Syndra's Q but with a heal attached. A cooldown refresh is unnecessary when the cooldown is only 3 seconds to begin with, but it's pretty weak actually so 3 seconds may be considered "long"

I'd suggest reducing the base value to 40 or 50 and raising the scaling. As it is now her Q starts too strong and ends pathetically. AP ratio can probably bump up 10 or so %.

Oh, and make it so her Q leaves a shadowy area where it's used.

W - So she blinks in and fears enemies. Probably you want this to do damage - and a decent chunk too. One thing, you might consider having a stronger effect if she blinks into a shadow. Maybe have the fear go off only if she does it, but she could infect the entire shadowed area with the fear? Just something to consider.

E - Okay so by itself her E does absolutely nothing tangible, so definitely move a good bit of her passive's components over here and give her a different passive.

R - No, give her a new ultimate. Her ultimate relies on her E to do anything and her doesn't do anything.

Also, ultimates almost never change in mana cost. It's almost always 100 at all ranks. As an unrelated note, energy and hp-using usually have free of cost ultimates. The exceptions are Akali (her charges) and Mundo (20% current hp).

One thing I definitely got the idea of is that Amoline's supposed to be an area-controlling short range champ that kills you tortorously with her shadows from close range. So she's a battle mage, I think.

The issue is she doesn't get much benefit for actually getting enemies into her shadows aside from spawning suicide minions from her E's. The basics of her kit are fine as is - her Q is a short range sustainy poke, her W is mobility that forces her to put herself at risk to get the most out of it, and her E sets up zones of control. A few points I think might help:

-Ungimp her base stats, lol. Her base AD is bizarrely low. Mages usually start at the mid 50's and gain around 2.5 per level. -Like I suggested, have the shadow area have a damage over time but have it clear relatively quickly if not sustained by her pillars. -New passive. The shadow minion spawning can go over to her E. Her passive could be as simple as giving her abilities bonus effects if they're used on or from shadowed areas. -Q should leave a zone of shadow behind, benefiting her for using it rapidly. Also make the damage changes I suggested. -W should have a better benefit for entering the shadows with it. Also, make it do damage. She NEEDS more than 1 damaging ability. -Have her E be destroyable normally, but only if you go into its zone. Force enemies to brave the shadows to destroy them, and it gives them counterplay in the form of destroying them before they get out of hand. -Swap her E and W's positions. W's - especially recently - are usually the home of a champion's most unique basic skill. Azir's soldiers, Ekko's dome, Kled's rage passive, Kindred's wolf zone, and so on, and a champion's E is usually crowd control or mobility. -New ultimate. Her current ultimate's name invokes the image of a zone of doom, so really hit on that. It COULD be as simple as making a zone that constantly spawns shadow minions or something so she can make an area where the name of the game is "get out or you might die instantly." -As I was your beginning, so shall I be your end.

I actually really like the basis you've already got and I'd like to see how Amoline can go :)

ZaneShadow1 votes

Thank you so much for your advice I really appreciate it! So here are some of the things i'm chaning as well as some of the reason's behind what's here. I bolded the most important point's but there's a lot of context to them, like how I upped Q but it makes her very very difficult to kill at higher damage.

Passive. That is true she doesn't have a passive until her E is picked. But neither does Heimerding with his turrets and Veigar with his Q to stack AP. I don't think it's too big a deal. The one reason I'm planning on leaving this as a passive is otherwise you have a move with multiple cooldown's running at the same time and calculating that can be a nightmare for a player.

Shadow Beast's: The reason that there is a cooldown on the fear actually ties into her ultimate. You mentioned it should spawn shadow beast's and it actually does. Any beacon inside the AoE plus any spawned for each enemy hit produces 1 shadow beast. The reason for the fear cooldown is so that the enemy can't get bombarded by a chain of 3 second's of fear (while they already can't see the enemy) by all the shadow beast converging on them. Though you are totally right it seems a bit excessive so im dropping the CDR of the fear to 10. That way anyone hit by a shadow beast by the ult won't have it stack but a "random encounter" will always inflict the fear.

Jumping to some of the larger changes now thanks for the advice on the Q!

So I dropped the CD to 2 second vs. 3. That alone really amped up her DPS i calculated (calculated over a 15 second period, a decent team fight) I also scaled the base damage a smidge more and the AP% now sits at 50 rather than 45. This would take the title as the most powerful rappid cast ability in the game as is so I'm going to avoid scaling it any higher than that. Plus the more damage it does, the more life she gets, making it that much harder to kill her. Saddly, I wish I could have Q leave shadow's but there is a strong reason I didn't have it do that. Riot has experimented with champion's like that in the past, but found some computer's couldn't handle the stress of something like that. The only way I can get away with the Beacon's is that shadowed area's particle effects are a purple mist around a centralized beacon so it's not having to process much visually but suddenly a bunch of smaller rings of shadowed area with their own dispersion rate's and vision implication's and I'm pretty sure I'd cross that line Riot has struggled with for a long time.

Also, that's so true, she need's more than one move to damage. I gave her W some decent damage (based on Tristiana's and Khazix's jumps) It has a middle ground AP ration and scale's a little less at higher level'e than their's because the AOE is so much bigger for her's than theirs. This one was probbably the strongest addition to her kit. THANK YOU!!!!

BEACONS AND DAMAGE OVER TIME: Will that would be fun, the issue is that any camp i wasn't ready to start would get hit by that and become hostile. Plus that sounds like a nearly global sized sunfire cape item 3068 which could feel a bit broken to player's trying to brave the shadow's. Instead could I drop the CDR on the current passive and make up for the damage that way???

ULT REWORK: One thing I did get form this is I really need to reword it to make it supper clear. I mentioned this before but her ult actually does spawn beacon's indipendent of her E. And each beacon spawn's a heat seeking damage dealer that if 3 are spawned, it's litterally a heat seeking lux ult that can't miss..... that you can't see becasue of the vision robbed by the ult as well. This ult also cloaks an entire team's advance into attack range making it a bit op as far as engage tool's go, since ya know, it causes fear on potentially an entire team. It also offer's one of the greatest objective steal abilities available as only a jungler right next to it could react when he needs to to smite this thing, assuming a shadow beast doesn't hit him and totally make it impossible. I think the biggest problem with this ult is that it's not clear what exactly it can do in it's desctiption. I deffinitly will reword it.

GENERAL UPDATES: A HUGE THANK'S TO YOU :) Haha, I will deffinitly fix her base AD issue.

Huh, i never knew that about the W, I will deffinitly get right on that and swap W and E's positions.

That sound's like a pretty decent idea for the Beacon's. My only thought is how much life to give them if their just exposed? I guess I can increace the scale rate they cover and 5 life? Does that seem Balanced to you?

ZaneShadow1 votes

Oh and quick note on the annulment slums too! :) So in Lux's story, while she's running away from Galio, some thugs show up and ask what she's doing outside of the annulment slums. From her reaction of fear they are a real thing. And I get a feeling from the story those weren't recruiters trying to kidnap her. Lux is the exception and lucky to have been recruit by the underground mages in demacia. Amoline had no such luck. Amoline's story is further backed by the Lux/Garren cross over where Garden executes a suspected Mage in front of a town. For the common person with magic, the organization lux is part of can't help them.

FlameHalbrdOkido1 votes

I really like that you created a mage that can play in the jg and uses the nature of the jg's set up to her advantage I think thats a very good and well thought out design I always love ideas that challenge how the game is currently played and bring more than just new abilities to the table. It shows how creative your thinking is.

I like the passive! U should probably put the Shadow Beast section right under the Nightmare Fuel section since they are directly connected. Heck since Nightmare fuel leads directly to Shadow Beast, u could make them into 1 passive. i don't understand why you need a global CD if theres an On target CD.

I though she would gain extra range if she warped TO a shadow area, like Rakkans Battle Dance with Xayah.

I don't see what being Annie's mother has anything to do with her character or character development. Amoline is still Amoline with or without Annie being her child. Annies birth doesnt seem to have a big enough impact on Amoline for that fact to be worth putting into her story. It does explain how annie's origin story, but thats it, it does nothing for Amoline. I think its cool if Amoline started the voodoo lands village, but I don't see that she needs to be Annies mother, she could just be the founder and guardian of the village. It would be cool to have another champ from the voodoo land that fleshes it out more, but the dont need to be related.

Also I can see Amoline's story being played out the way it is even with Demacia secretly using mages now. Emphasis on the NOW, because Amoline is older than Lux, and we don't know when the "order" that recruited Lux started, but I ams sure that its safe to assume that that "order" didn't always exist. Perhaps Amoline uses her abilities to save a Demacian in battle, or from a bandits attack (which makes sense seeing that bandits tend to attack in the dark and that is to Amolines advantage) or from a natural danger such as a wild beast or another thing. Either way this use of magic would be seen by more than one person, and she would be exiled, but maybe someone notices the good it does and makes plans to save/use future mages.

ZaneShadow1 votes

Good call on the Range extension of Amoline's E. that makes it seem a bit more "Jungly" of an ability. :)

THe Golobal cooldown is to clarify to people that this isn't per tree, this is "per Amoline", since some early reviewers got confused.

The concept of Annie being Amolines daughter is the impact having a child has on a person's psychology. Something changes in peoples minds a lot of the time, (as a father, it did for me). Annie's birth (bringing something good into the world) really snapped Amoline into the fact that her creations were a problem (her bringing bad into the world). Amoline is finding a reason to do more than just forget her past mistakes, but to actually correct them, to get rid of the bad for the good. Annie herself isn't as realevant as any child, but considering that Amoline's thematic ideas match well with the champion as well as a natural tie into the larger universe I decided to leave Annie in the story.

Annie did have a few factors though that do enrich Amoline though. Annie is far from a normal girl, and that reflects onto her parents and fills in some of the unwritten character that Amoline Posseses. It fleshes out a personality that is more complex by simply explaining the family relationship and where some of the quirks come from.

Thank you for helping me brainstorm on this though. I added a line to try and explain this mentality.

The abomination's she created and the enemies she had made were vile monsters. The difference between the good of bringing her daughter into the world and the evil of her constructions eventually grew too much for Amoline to do nothing about. As the town grew and needed her less, Amoline began to wander nearby lands for a chance to undo some of what she had created

I also snuck in a line thats similar to "Like Mother Like Daughter" to try and also have some of that unwritten concept become... Well written. Reading between lines shouldn't be as difficult as I made it so thank you.

I can't thank you enough for your compliments and ideas. Hopefully this helps Flush out Amoline's Personality just that much better and make her ready for judging. The Shadow warp comment was a huge help and thank you for it.

FlameHalbrdOkido1 votes

{quoted}

U can always count on good ideas from me I'd like to consider myself an Ability Specialist, i pride myself on taking original ideas and cranking them to maximum output Myrsky being one of my recent prime examples. It also helps that I've recently been flexing the shadow theme creativity part of my imagination recently. Not too long ago someone had a kit for a shadow tank support. I could give u a link to check him out.

Ok I think her connection to Annie makes much more sense now.

FlameHalbrdOkido1 votes

{quoted}

U can always count on good ideas from me I'd like to consider myself an Ability Specialist, i pride myself on taking original ideas and cranking them to maximum output Myrsky being one of my recent prime examples. It also helps that I've recently been flexing the shadow theme creativity part of my imagination recently. Not too long ago someone had a kit for a shadow tank support. I could give u a link to check him (Tho i think ur kit is solid) Ok I think her connection to Annie makes much more sense now.

ZaneShadow1 votes

Ya, but that's only thanks to you. I wasn't explaining and just implying, which never works. That's actually pretty cool your good at that. While I doubt I'd change my entry when judging is about to start, I'd love the link! I like seeing what others come up with.

Thank you a million!

FlameHalbrdOkido1 votes

{quoted} I like seeing what others come up with.

ur welcome

heres the original; https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/JOR0Ohzc-abraham-the-shadow-support

heres the updated version that I helped make https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/FA9nfWIY-abraham-the-shadow-support

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