The Juggernaut Club: Part 20

In Shurima, Azir and Xerath are now going at it. Azir's wrath has conjured a sandstorm of some great destructive potential, forcing Garen and Sivir to find cover inside some other ruins nearby. The two stand at the entrance as they watch the fight.

Azir is seen looking around angrily.

: WHERE ARE YOU!? YOU'D THINK WITH YOUR BODY BEING MADE OF PURE ENERGY NOW, YOU'D BE EASIER TO FIND IN LOW-VISION CONDITIONS!

A bolt of Xerath's Q shoots out of the fogs of the sand, smacking Azir in the back.

: OW! RRRGGGHH!

He turns, summoning two Sand-Soldiers and sends them, lances forward in the direction the bolt came from. Xerath laughs.

: MISSED ME BY A MILE! LITERALLY!

: YOU WILL PAY FOR DESTROYING MY CITY!

: IT WAS JUST A MODEL! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF!

: AND, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH MODELS!?

There's a moment of silence.

: UMM... DESTROY THEM?

: NO! YOU BUILD BASED AROUND THEM!

: WELL EXCUSE ME! I WAS RAISED A SLAVE, NOT AN ARCHITECT!

The two continue to bicker and fight as Garen and Sivir watch.

: Well... since I can't go onward until that sandstorm is gone...

: And I can attest to the fact that it won't end until Gramps over there calms down...

: ... How about we pass the time with a story? How about the founding of the Juggernaut Club?

Sivir looks at Garen dryly.

: Do I look like your little sister, about to be tucked into my beddy-bye or something?

: No. But it's a story that needs to be told. Don't you want to know how it came about, and how I became the "Chief-of-Staff"? (Under his breath) Formerly...

: No.

She repeats saying "No" as Garen ignores her and continues to speak.

: Now, it all began on a day much like any other...

In another part of Shurima, Rek'Sai surfaces from under the ground. Leblanc, coughing heavily, is dropped from her mouth by her cape.

: Oof! Coughing

After she gets her bearings, she looks around. There is a partially demolished building, which has a purple banner above the entrance that reads...

THE VOID FAN-CLUB CLUBHOUSE! ALL ARE WELCOME!

Leblanc just stands there for a moment, dumbfounded. Malzahar comes up from behind and starts giddily nudging her to go forward. After some hesitation (And knowing she has no other choice) Leblanc steps inside the "Club-house".

Inside, all the monstrous Void-Champions are seen wandering about the large area, or "Main room" of the club-house. Seated at a table is Cho'gath, in his "Gentleman" attire, and across from him is Vel'Koz, in his "Definitely Not Vel'Koz" attire. Seeing them, Cho raises his cup of tea.

: Ah, so we've finally gotten a Wench to join the "Socially Interested Void Interlopers and Rapscallions" Society! Or SIVIR, for short.

Malzahar shakes his head.

: Cho, we agreed it was the "Void Fan-Club!"

: Balderdash! A gentleman such as I would not join something as simplistic and lowly as a "Fan-Club"! By being the "Socially Interested Void Interlopers and Rapscallions" Society, we are certain to draw MUCH MORE intellectually interested groups and persons, rather than the drivel and nonsense created by a "Fan-Club"...

He scoffs, and then turns to Vel'Koz, who is constantly darting his cup of tea about as he analyzes it.

: Substance...is supposed to be a beverage?

: Yes, of course, old chap! It's the best one around! Try a sip, you'll love it!

: Hmm...

In an effort to get a closer look, Vel'Koz lifts the cup over his eye. He then tilts it, causing the liquid to run out and into his eyeball.

: OOUUUCCHHH!

He flings the tea-cup in the direction of Leblanc, who quickly dodges. His tentacles flail about wildly around his main eye.

: SUBSTANCE IS BURNING PRIMARY SIGHT ORGAN! PLEASE ADVISE!

Cho simply laughs.

: Oh, no-no-no-no, my good fellow! You don't pour tea into your eye sockets! You drink it with your mouth! Like this!

He lifts up his cup and masterfully sips from it.

: See?

: AAARRGGHH! SIGHT ORGAN IS PRIMARY ORIFICE! ACTS AS MOUTH!

: Ooh, tough luck then, my good fellow. It seems tea, and probably most beverages with the exception of eye-drops, are not a good fit for you.

Vel'Koz continues to flail about wildly as he leaves the main room to look for any form of medical station or first aid kit through his severely burnt eye. But he bumps into furniture and walls. As he goes, Cho calls out to him.

: Dreadfully Sorry!

Then, the sound of breaking glass is heard. A rock was just thrown into the club-house! Malzahar picks it up, as there is a message tied to it. He reads it aloud.

: "The Void is bad and you should feel bad. With lots of hate for sending my daughter to the Void, Kassadin." Ugh, not again.

The sound of a voice is coming from outside. Both Malz and Leblanc go to see who it is.

It's Kassadin, walking around in a circle, with a sign he's holding upwards. With the way he's moving, it looks like he's protesting the club.

He starts to use his Riftwalk, disappearing and returning, each time with a different sign, trying to give the illusion that he is multiple people protesting the club.

: We're annoyed with the Void! We're annoyed with the Void! We're annoyed with the Void!

He repeats this ad nauseum as he walks and Riftwalks around in a circle in front of the entrance.

Malz pokes his head out of the hole in the window.

: DROWN IN THE VOID, KASSADIN!

Having heard him, Kassadin stops walking and looks at him.

: I HOPE CHO EATS YOU FOR HIS TEA-TIME SNACK, MALZ!

: Oh pish-posh! Crumpets are a FAR more appetizing thing than a disgusting human!

Malz picks up the rock that Kassadin threw through the window and tosses it back at him angrily.

: I FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOU! BEAT IT!

: PROTESTING'S NOT AGAINST THE LAW! CHECKMATE!

: DON'T MAKE ME SIC REK'SAI ON YOU! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR BY THE VOID, I'LL DO IT!

Unseen by everyone, a feminine figure comes up over a nearby sand-dune. It's Lux!

: Oh good! A place to get out of this heat!

To Be Continued...

Ay-Yai-Yai... 20 Chapters.

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######(What am I doing with my life?)