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Champion concept: Nar, the Jackal of storms.

Paroe··5 votes·659 views

Heya! So this is a concept ive had for awhile (and im not sure if ive posted it before or not... Google isnt helping). The idea is a mage/marksman that ISNT low counterplay. To that effect This concept is a hybrid battlemage mage who is meant to build crit and operate mid to close range. Comments are appreciated! Id love to refine this concept into something more!

Changelog: Changed the wording on heavy storm and added "if the target is no longer storm stricken at any time the heavy storm stops", that way CC/peel/mobility provides counterplay to an ability thats meant to help take down running targets like Udyr, Jinx, janna. Changed the wording on Cloud wall to specify it doesnt block projectiles past the initial 1 second. Also changed it so the cloud wall becomes player terrain if it blocks an ability for 2 seconds or if thunderhead is activated.

Name: Nar Title: The jackal of storms Affiliation: Demacia Age: early fourties Short lore: (WIP) Stats: (WIP) Appearance: http://wallpapercave.com/wp/BNRYAFq.jpg

Abilities: Passive: Storm caller Nar's basic attacks against enemies mark them, causing subsequent basic attacks to deal 10/12/14/16/18/20/22/24/26/28/30/32/34/36/38/40/42/44+0.2AP/total AD as magic damage. critical strike chance is doubled against marked enemies.

Q: Lightning strike Nar holds up to 2(+1 per 50 Bonus AD) charges of lightning at any time. Activating the skill looses a lightning bolt up to 800 units away that deals 80/120/160/200/240+0.6AP/0.4bonus AD as magic damage to the first enemy hit. This ability is treated as a basic attack. Mana: 70/75/80/85/90 Cooldown: 16/15/14/13/12seconds

W: Cloud wall/thunderhead Cloud wall: Nar waves his hand to create a cloud which absorbs 50/60/70/80/90% projectile damage for 1 second. If the cloud successfully blocks an ability Thunderhead can be activated and the cloud will remain as player terrain for 2 additional seconds or until thunderhead is activated.
Thunderhead: Nar turns the cloud wall into a thunderhead which seeks out the nearest marked enemy champion and deals 50/80/110/140/170+0.4AP/0.4AD as magical damage. Mana: 80 Cooldown: 10 seconds

E: Eye of the storm toggle While toggled on Nar creates a static field around him which applies "storm stricken" to enemies within 250/300/350/400/450 range. Enemies which are storm stricken take 100% increased base damage from storm caller and basic attacks slow them by 25/30/35/40/45 movement speed. Nars basic attack is replaced by a 300 range electrical blast which consumes 20/25/30/35/40 mana. Cost: 0 Cooldown: 30 seconds

R: Heavy storm Passive: Storm caller base damage can critically strike Nar targets a storm stricken enemy champion and creates a heavy storm which wipes all shields and buffs on them for the duration of the storm and deals 150/225/300+0.8AP magic damage over 5 seconds. If the target is no longer storm stricken at any time the storm stops.

13 Comments

I LAV IT MATE4 votes

We already have Gnar as a name ... and it's pronounced NAR .... right ?

Champion Concept2 votes

Demacia is wholly anti-magic so lightning mage-hunter isn't gonna fit lore wise. Unsure if they also hate hextech.

Not enough of the kit is based around him marking foes, which I think, as is, is too simple of a concept to try and do that right now.

I'd probably change Cloud Wall to either a different kind of effect like vision denial, have it absorb one spell, or do a flat 50% damage reduction. Don't scale it up to 90% and don't make it like Yasuo Windwall completely. You can't have that on a ranged carry.

For the ultimate, completely wiping shields and buffs is overkill. Now if you said he, individually, ignored them that might be different.

stone the blacks2 votes

Concepts great and all but not very fluid, it has two separate play styles, either fight with q and w or e and r if you change the e so it can be applied at a greater range it works much more fluidly with the rest of his kit.

my thought is have his e be like asol stars of a distance away from you [like 450-700 units away from him], but applies a slow for enemies in it, so you try to keep them in the area to burst them down/duel them before they can get to you.

Also another thing the Q charges you get shouldn't scale with your ad since if you don't hit the thresh hold it just sucks, instead you could do something like have it hit all targets in an area with damage decreasing by a percentage for each additional enemy in the area with the decrease being less effective the more ad you have

Paroe1 votes

{quoted}

Concepts great and all but not very fluid, it has two separate play styles, either fight with q and w or e and r if you change the e so it can be applied at a greater range it works much more fluidly with the rest of his kit.

my thought is have his e be like asol stars of a distance away from you [like 450-700 units away from him], but applies a slow for enemies in it, so you try to keep them in the area to burst them down/duel them before they can get to you.

Also another thing the Q charges you get shouldn't scale with your ad since if you don't hit the thresh hold it just sucks, instead you could do something like have it hit all targets in an area with damage decreasing by a percentage for each additional enemy in the area with the decrease being less effective the more ad you have

His Q will always be an 800 range "basic attack" that would proc the slow on his E. The idea is that you buy something like item 3508 item 3087 item 3006 item 3089 item 3135 item 3100 and then hang back during fights harassing people until you can run them down for a clean up. This is a mid lane concept, not a bot lane concept. Theres not really "separate playstyles" here because changing between mid range and short range is such an integral part of the concepts kit and he needs crit to actually DO a lot of damage. A standard mage build wont be as effective as a crit hybrid build due to the passives scaling with total AD and only 0.2AP. Because youre going to be building at LEAST one AD crit item (and maybe two if you want more up front damage) you WILL have more than enough AD to get at least 3 charges. Even if you just buy a hextech gunblade youl still have enough to meet that threshold because Mpen and base AD work better than raw AP with his passive, something where most of his damage comes from.

If you feel raw AP would simply be better in most situations, i can lower his AP scaling on Q.

[{quoted}](name=King of Freljord,realm=EUW,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=ocWuTPoA,comment-id=0002,timestamp=2017-07-22T09:13:26.078+0000)

We already have Gnar as a name ... and it's pronounced NAR .... right ?

. . . Yes, its pronounced the same. I guess the strange yordle with the silent G slipped my mind. I dont see him much unfortunately. This concepts name is actually based on a book by john marco called "The Jackal of Nar". With the story im writing, renaming him to JUST "The jackal of storms" might be a good idea.

{quoted}

Ranged yasuo with DoT and more damage? I'm good, thanks though.

Arguably less damage, immobile, and doesnt block projectiles completely. He still gets effected by on-hit/on-spell effects. He also needs to actually HIT people before he gets his crit, and his only strong AD scaling is his passive.... which is turned into magic damage. ONLY his first auto would be physical damage, everything else would be magic damage. As well due to how his kits scaling is situated he shouldnt be building a ton of attack speed. But with how flexable the concept is (by design.... i want there to be meaningful build choices and skill choices based on situations) you could go attack speed with shiv/hurricane/morellos/sorc shoes/nashors tooth/void staff But you would run into problems with your passive and even abilities not doing a whole lot of damage compared to an AD crit/zeal item build.

EliJenkin1 votes

See, you're not considering the fact that A) Yasuo only has the windfall because he has 2 main damage sources, no true mobility without minions, and he's meant as a counter to specific midlaners like Ahri or Cass. As opposed to yours who you gave an equivalent of a powered up windwall simply because he isn't mobile. And you cannot use the excuse "he's immobile so he needs this" because there's Veigar, Syndra, Lux, etc. Who are immobile, but actually implement a unique concept that doesn't simply say "no can't do that". Also, just because it doesn't block ALL of the damage isn't a good excuse either. That's like saying, "oh since I give this champion 400 armor at Max rank, it's okay since it doesn't block ALL the damage"

Paroe1 votes

{quoted}

See, you're not considering the fact that A) Yasuo only has the windfall because he has 2 main damage sources, no true mobility without minions, and he's meant as a counter to specific midlaners like Ahri or Cass. As opposed to yours who you gave an equivalent of a powered up windwall simply because he isn't mobile. And you cannot use the excuse "he's immobile so he needs this" because there's Veigar, Syndra, Lux, etc. Who are immobile, but actually implement a unique concept that doesn't simply say "no can't do that". Also, just because it doesn't block ALL of the damage isn't a good excuse either. That's like saying, "oh since I give this champion 400 armor at Max rank, it's okay since it doesn't block ALL the damage"

Veigar, Lux, and Syndra have hard CC or a root. This concept doesnt have hard CC. Thats the reason he has his W; he needs SOME form of useful defense, and i wanted that useful defense to be skill based. One second really isnt THAT long; its around the duration of a sivir of a sivir spell shield

Meanwhile yasuo has mobility, a knock up, a shield, and benefits from lifesteal. This concept? No mobility. No CC, and does not benefit from lifesteal. He is very much a damage focused artillery mage/marksman, not an ADC.

EliJenkin2 votes

Ranged yasuo with DoT and more damage? I'm good, thanks though.

M00ndanc31 votes

so as for a sugested build(correct me if im wrong tho) id guess item 3031 item 3085 item 1001 item 3115 item 3146 item 3135 since he has good ap and ad scaling and gets double crit chance against enemies hes already attacked before (little simular to ashe's passive but without the slow and insted has magic damage) so he deals the most magic damage while having sustain, attackspeed and damage while he plays as a marksman mage in a Corki kind of way but having to go into a fight to get to get his eye of the storm and ult to do damage since 250 is about max range for melee while 450 is about average for a ranged champion which means early game if you dont put points into e you have to be really close to use your ult but late game it would be about anyone in you aa range unless his range is longer than 450 in which case id sugest increaseing the e range so that you can get the most from the spell

Paroe1 votes

{quoted}

so as for a sugested build(correct me if im wrong tho) id guess item 3031 item 3085 item 1001 item 3115 item 3146 item 3135 since he has good ap and ad scaling and gets double crit chance against enemies hes already attacked before (little simular to ashe's passive but without the slow and insted has magic damage) so he deals the most magic damage while having sustain, attackspeed and damage while he plays as a marksman mage in a Corki kind of way but having to go into a fight to get to get his eye of the storm and ult to do damage since 250 is about max range for melee while 450 is about average for a ranged champion which means early game if you dont put points into e you have to be really close to use your ult but late game it would be about anyone in you aa range unless his range is longer than 450 in which case id sugest increaseing the e range so that you can get the most from the spell

Most mages attack range is 550. Conceptually i have him at 600 range; so his E actually halves his basic attack range. 550 works too though, i havent decided. The idea for builds is actuallyitem 3508 and any zeal item - but if you want huge damage on your passive then you can go IE. Magic items would be rabadans, void staff, and nashors tooth. But full AP variants using ludens echo would also be possible. Adaptability without being overbearing is something i wanted to keep in mind...

And yes his ult is meant to be used close range. Hes a mid-range to short champion; so its important for him to have proper trade offs so decisions are meaningful.

[{quoted}](name=Champion Concept,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=ocWuTPoA,comment-id=0001,timestamp=2017-07-22T02:05:07.643+0000)

Demacia is wholly anti-magic so lightning mage-hunter isn't gonna fit lore wise. Unsure if they also hate hextech.

Not enough of the kit is based around him marking foes, which I think, as is, is too simple of a concept to try and do that right now.

I'd probably change Cloud Wall to either a different kind of effect like vision denial, have it absorb one spell, or do a flat 50% damage reduction. Don't scale it up to 90% and don't make it like Yasuo Windwall completely. You can't have that on a ranged carry.

For the ultimate, completely wiping shields and buffs is overkill. Now if you said he, individually, ignored them that might be different.

The best way to make a non-general mage/marksman is to make sure they want to purchase crit and that they scale in some way with it; Nar can get up to 350% damage on his passive, which scales with 20% AP and total AD. The mark is both to differentiate him from yasuo, AND give him a reason to continually interact with his laner. Unlike ezreal, he cant just throw out Qs forever due to the cooldown of it. Even with 40% CDR its still something like a 4 second cooldown. His Q also applies his mark. Due to his immobility his W is also a powerful defense tool; a needed thing because he doesnt have that very important defense tool. It also interacts with his mark in a way that rewards skillful use of the ability. Because hes not an actual marksman and doesnt really benefit from standard marksman builds (or even yasuo builds for that matter) his W reducing damage from projectiles should be fine. Im not sure riot could easily do ignoring shields and shields, so wiping them for 5 seconds is fine. DoTs are quite weak all told.

As for demacia being anti-magic, thats why hes the jackal of storms. Im writing a story right now about a young freijordian immigrant arrested on suspicions of magic and forced to fight in the arena for his life - a life owned by the crown. He would live by skulking around and doing the unsavory things that Demacian royalty would rather not dirty their hands with and blaming it on noxus.

Champion Concept2 votes

{quoted}

The best way to make a non-general mage/marksman is to make sure they want to purchase crit and that they scale in some way with it

There's a big difference from trying to make a Corki and trying to make a Kennen who also builds crit.

Unlike ezreal, he cant just throw out Qs forever due to the cooldown of it. Even with 40% CDR its still something like a 4 second cooldown. His Q also applies his mark. Due to his immobility his W is also a powerful defense tool; a needed thing because he doesnt have that very important defense tool. It also interacts with his mark in a way that rewards skillful use of the ability. Because hes not an actual marksman and doesnt really benefit from standard marksman builds (or even yasuo builds for that matter) his W reducing damage from projectiles should be fine.

You either give him a gimmick so that immobility isn't bad, or you give him some mobility. You don't give him the ability to outtrade every single adc in botlane. Ezreal used to have an attack speed slow but even THAT was too much. % damage reduction is waaaaaaaaaay too much.

also

doesnt really benefit from standard marksman builds (or even yasuo builds for that matter) his W reducing damage from projectiles should be fine.

you've already givin him crit scalings so no, that statement is entirely false.

Im not sure riot could easily do ignoring shields and shields, so wiping them for 5 seconds is fine. DoTs are quite weak all told.

You don't get to have that kind of game breaking ability on a champion without reeling it in. "Oh I have Locket and I'm playing Janna aaaaaaaaaaaaand there it goes. Cool."

As for demacia being anti-magic, thats why hes the jackal of storms. Im writing a story right now about a young freijordian immigrant arrested on suspicions of magic and forced to fight in the arena for his life - a life owned by the crown. He would live by skulking around and doing the unsavory things that Demacian royalty would rather not dirty their hands with and blaming it on noxus.

Ionia does that. Noxus does that. Bilgewater does that. Demacia does not. They already have plenty of mage-hunters that don't use magic.

Now you could keep that by turning him into a vigilante against the Crown since they essentially shove any magical people into slums to keep an eye on them, killing those that are strong in magic.

Paroe1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Champion Concept,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=ocWuTPoA,comment-id=000000000000,timestamp=2017-07-22T04:34:07.520+0000)

There's a big difference from trying to make a Corki and trying to make a Kennen who also builds crit.

He isnt a corki; hes meant to play like an actual marksman. Kennen is a much better analogue but this concept doesnt have hard CC or even soft CC.

You either give him a gimmick so that immobility isn't bad, or you give him some mobility. You don't give him the ability to outtrade every single adc in botlane. Ezreal used to have an attack speed slow but even THAT was too much. % damage reduction is waaaaaaaaaay too much.

The original idea was it acted like a spell shield -blocking 100% of damage. Even had a low CD of 4 seconds. I changed it to what it is currently because SOME damage is better than "projectile eaten entirely". This concept has 0 mobility and 0 CC; Damage is what hes meant to do. He needs SOME form of defense because he ALSO cant draintank like AD marksmen.

you've already givin him crit scalings so no, that statement is entirely false.

It isnt because this concept needs AP as well; just building PD/IE and then raw AD items, even hybrid items like guinsoos and gunblade isnt AS good as building essence reaver/zeal item then rabbadons/void staff. His damage is also mostly AP.

You don't get to have that kind of game breaking ability on a champion without reeling it in. "Oh I have Locket and I'm playing Janna aaaaaaaaaaaaand there it goes. Cool."

Its not game breaking if its only a single target. Its a one-person anti-buff/shield; And even with your janna example peel/CC is still gonna stop him. I do however see your point and ill add a counterplay to it.

Ionia does that. Noxus does that. Bilgewater does that. Demacia does not. They already have plenty of mage-hunters that don't use magic. Now you could keep that by turning him into a vigilante against the Crown since they essentially shove any magical people into slums to keep an eye on them, killing those that are strong in magic.

Thing about Demacia is we dont actually know much about them since the retcon. They could very well have a seedy, underhanded side beneath their golden exterior that uses semi-legal methods to obtain agents for their unsavory activities. Hell, the arena i was talking about could actually be a prison-fight where the demacian nobility purchase criminals to do their dirty work..... Ya know what i like that idea. A mage prison where the management sells mages into forced service of anyone with the connections and money to buy them.

BeatinWarDrumz1 votes

He's overpowered as fuck with his passive and E

Paroe1 votes

{quoted}

He's overpowered as fuck with his passive and E

He does almost exclusively magic damage and needs to build crit. The math works out to roughly the same DPS as traditional ADC marksman. How is his E broken? It reduces his range to 300, lets him use his ult, and gives him a slow?

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