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[Champion Concept] Gwynne, The Wailing witch

Candurill·4/2/2016, 12:27:07 AM·9 votes·1,875 views

Hey People!! :D Thanks for looking at my champion concept! I have been working on a lore for the Glade for some time now, and I’ve created some more Fae and Folklore based concepts to go along with it. One of these is Dayne, The Prince of Fae

Tell me what you think. Do you like the Lore i have created for the Glade?

Identity: Name: Gwynne Gender: Female Race: Fae Birthplace: The Fae Lands (The Glade)

[img]http://s31.postimg.org/nalvewf8b/27826.jpg[/img]

Appearance: See picture (this is not MY art and I take no credit for it. It is just an idea). Maybe add some pointed ears to make her Fae origin even more clear. Her voice should sound hoarse and ghastly.

Passive, Faerie Queen’s Curse: Just as the Queen had proclaimed, Gwynne’s voice makes all who hear it bleed from their ears. All her abilities apply stacks of “Pain” to all enemy champions within her auto attack range. The Pain of every stack causes Gwynne’s next ability within 2 seconds on the target to deal 2,5% / 5% / 7,5% / 10% (+1% per 100 AP) of it’s damage as true damage and consumes the stack. The “Pain” can stack up to 3 times, renewing the effect. After three stacks the target will suffer from “Bleeding Ears” for 2 / 2.5 / 3 / 3.5 seconds, disorienting them for the duration. Disoriented targets will deal no damage with their next ability. Some of Gwynne’s abilities will have added effects on targets with Bleeding Ears, but will consume the effect. When “Bleeding Ears” is consumed, or when the duration runs out, the target will be immune to the effects for 10 seconds. Passive levels up at levels 6, 11 and 16.

Q, Agonizing Screech: Mana cost: 50 / 60 / 70 / 80 / 90 Mana Cooldown: 12 / 11 / 10 / 9 / 8 seconds Active: Gwynne screams with agony for 1.5 seconds in a 350 unit long cone that follows your cursor and damages all enemies hit for 60 / 95 / 130 / 165 / 200 (+ 80% AP) magic damage over the duration of the scream. If an enemy is suffering from “Bleeding Ears”, this ability stuns the target for 1 / 1.25 / 1.5 / 1.75 / 2 seconds after taking the full duration, aside from dealing the passive’s bonus true damage.

W, Ghastly Whisper: Mana cost: 70 / 80 / 90 / 100 / 110 Mana Cooldown: 15 / 14 / 13 / 12 / 11 seconds Active: Gwynne taps into her dark powers and becomes stealthed after a 1 second channel for 3 / 3 / 3.5 / 3,5 / 4 seconds. During her stealth, her movement speed is increased by 40% and her next auto attack deals additional magic damage depending on Gwynne’s proximity to her target.

  • Target in 600 unit radius or up: 40 / 80 / 120 / 160 / 200 (+40%) bonus magic damage and applies one stack of “Pain”
  • Target within 500 unit radius: 50 / 90 / 130 / 170 / 210 (+50% AP) bonus magic damage and applies one stack of “Pain”
  • Target within 400 unit radius: 60 / 100 / 140 / 180 / 220 (+60% AP) bonus magic damage and applies two stacks of “Pain”
  • Target within 300 unit radius: 70 / 110 / 150 / 190 / 230 (+70% AP) bonus magic damage and applies “Bleeding Ears”
  • Target within 200 unit radius: 80 / 120 / 160 / 200 / 240 (+80% AP) bonus magic damage and applies “Bleeding Ears”

E, Disembodied Moan: Mana cost: 50 / 60 / 70 / 80 / 90 Mana Cooldown: 13 / 12 / 11 / 10 / 9 seconds Active: Gwynne lets a disembodied moan erupt from a target location after a 0.5 second delay, dealing 60 / 100 / 140 / 180 / 220 (+ 50% AP) magic damage in a radius of 250 units and slowing the enemy by 20% / 25% / 30% / 35% / 40% for 1.5 seconds. This ability can be cast once during the stealth of Ghastly Whisper without breaking stealth or using the bonus damage. Any subsequent cast will break stealth and forfeit the bonus damage of "Ghastly Whisper".

R, Wail of the Banshee: Cost: 50 (+10 every second) Mana per second. Cooldown: 60 / 50 / 40 seconds Toggle Gwynne takes a deep breath for 1.5 seconds (this channel breaks stealth). After this, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, setting The Faerie Queen curse on her voice to work. All units around her take magic damage per second and suffer from additional effects depending on how far they are from Gwynne. Every second also applies a stack of “Pain” to all effected enemies, but does not consume it. This effect lasts until Gwynne runs out of Mana or the ability is deactivated, after which she is silenced for as long as the ability was active. During the ability, Gwynne is rooted in place and she cannot cast any other abilities or use auto attacks.

  • 0-200 units from Gwynne: Take 225 / 275 / 325 (+ 25% AP) magic damage per second, silenced and slowed by 30%.
  • 201-400 units from Gwynne: Take 175 / 225 / 275 (+15% AP) magic damage per second and slowed by 30% for 3 seconds.
  • 401-600 units from Gwynne: Take 125 / 175 / 225 (+15% AP) magic damage per second and slowed by 30% for 1.5 seconds.
  • 601-800 units from Gwynne: Take 75 / 125 / 175 (+5% AP) magic damage per second.

Gameplay: Gwynne is much like your typical AP caster. She deals tons of damage when correctly stringing her abilities together, but gets bursted down pretty easily when caught out of position. What makes her different is that positioning means even more to her then any other champion. Her abilities can be especially devastating when used in close proximity to her target, but that also gives her target a chance to retaliate. It is key for any person that plays Gwynne to know what to use when and how. That is what sets apart a good Gwynne from a great Gwynne.

Combo suggestion: If she has at least one point in all of her basic abilities, Gwynne can string them together for optimum damage. First go into stealth with Ghastly Whisper instantly following with a Disembodied Moan to deal some initial damage and to slow the target. Gwynne can then easily catch up with the target for the empowered auto attack from Ghastly Whisper, applying Bleeding Ears if she at least gets within 400 units from the target. This allows her to finish her enemy with Agonizing Screech and the bonus true damage from Bleeding Ears. If the target is still alive then, the stun from Agonizing Screech will allow her to maybe finish the target off with an auto attack, or for her to cast Wail Of The Banshee if she is level 6 or higher.

Lore: Has your mother ever told you stories of the Banshee? Of tiny creatures with wings? Of humans with goat legs? Of speaking animals? I am sure she has. But every time she did, she always promised that they were all make belief right? That it was all a fairy-tale and that you did not need to fear these weird creatures from another world. But what if I told you that all these creatures do and don’t exist? That it is and isn’t make belief? That this world is both here and nowhere? That it is then and now and later at the same time? A world were mysterious powers linger that no human mind could ever grasp? Are you confused yet? Good...

Gwynne was once a beautiful Fae woman, adored by all that met her. Life had given her everything. All the men fell for her, and she was gifted with a singing voice that almost equalled that of the Faery Queen. But it wasn’t enough. Gwynne wanted more. More power, more beauty, more adoration. She frequently left the Glade to charm men from a local human village into leaving their wives and coming with her. If they did, she secretly used their life energy to fuel her own magic experiments. Her behavior however, did not go unnoticed. The Queen herself got wind of her dealings with the darkest of magics. Unable to believe it, she masked her own form and took on the form of a human man. On one of Gwynne’s outings, the Queen entered the village and tricked Gwynne into thinking she was charming an innocent human. When the beautiful Fae had taken her new victim to her place of work however, the Queen revealed herself. “How DARE you use your gifts for these evil practices? You do not deserve these talents!! I cast you out of the Glade, and curse you to live out your days as a ghastly hag, with a singing voice that will bleed the ears of anyone that hears it!!” After this, Gwynne was thrown out of the Glade, to which she could never return. Distraught by her fate and mad with tears, she started wandering the world as the banshee, soothing her craving for revenge on the innocent. The Faerie Queen had taken her one and only joy in this world, her beautiful voice, from her... This price was to be payed in kind... Trough years of preparation and studies of dark magic, known only to the vilest of creatures known and unknown to man, Gwynne finally found a curse that would satisfy her hunger for revenge. She still could not enter the Glade however... But the many years of exile had made Gwynne stronger and wiser then she had been. She’s had continued her vile experiments, and understood how mortals worked. With promises of power beyond mortal knowledge, she seduced a young and ambitious Noxian lord into marching his entire army straight into the forest through which she had been banished. When they arrived, Gwynne found to her surprise that a young Fae had noticed the great army and had approached them. She immediately recognised him as the son of no one other then the Faerie Queen. She had been afraid at first, but the boy, naïve and young, did not notice anything wrong with the men clad from head to toe in steel, and led them straight into the world of the Fae... Gwynne grinned, and retreated into the forest. Not long afterwards, she could feel the dark curse take root within the hearts of every Fae alive. Gwynne cackled loudly. From that day on, she knew, the Queen had lost that which she held most dear...her love for her husband...

So tell me lads and lasses...Yordles and Man...Mortals...and Immortals...Do you now believe in the fairy-tales your mothers told you? In the dreadful monsters and stunning beauties that are said to roam the lands? I leave it up to you to decide...I’ll just give you one piece of advice...Stay on the path when walking through dark forests, you never know where you might end up...or if you’ll ever come back.

Quotes:

Champion select: “My voice is the last thing they shall hear!!”

Moving: “One step closer to revenge...” “Like a whisper” “They WILL hear me come...” “I know EVERY mortal’s desire...” “Love brings nothing but pain...” “The Fae shall know their mistake...” “It’s the witching hour...” “I’ll defy gravity...” “Into the woods, where nothing is clear...”

Attacking: “No-one is safe!!” “Yes, Scream!!” “Feel my wrath!!” “Hear, Me, Sing!!”

Jokes: Gwynne badly sings a part of Ave Maria (or something of that ilk) “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble...”

Taunts: “The eardrums are the most sensitive organ on the outside of the human body...how lucky for me...” ”Let me sing you the song of my people!!!.” (enemy Lee Sin): “Lets see how you’ll cope with just 3 senses, Lee Sin...” (enemy Sona): “Your music disgusts me...”
“Not even your summoner will hear you after I’m done with you...” (enemy Braum): “Even YOUR shield will break at the right frequency, Braum...” (enemy Shen) “Why bother with silence when sound has so much power?!” (enemy Twitch): “Nibble, nibble...little mouse...” (allied Karthus): "Let us sing a duet Karthus..." "Let us sow death through our song!!" Laugh: In stead of laughing, Gwynne wails in different ways.

When performing an empowered auto attack after activating Ghastly Whisper: (Whispers) “Death...” (Whispers) “Pain...” (Whispers) “Agony...” (Whispers) “Bleed...”

13 Comments

Gavenis74114/2/2016, 7:33:29 AM1 votes

Bump [slayer-jinx-wink]

Candurill4/3/2016, 1:07:33 PM1 votes

Bump

ldsjm44/4/2016, 5:09:36 PM1 votes

I like the idea of distance from enemies causes additional effects, I think her abilities are good and fit her except for W (I just think stealth seems weird but could just be me). She does seems to counter-act herself though, mages generally don't want to be right next to their target. Granted this also makes her more unique and she does have a stun to try to use that time to get away.

I do feel like she should have a taunt for Karthus though...

Candurill4/24/2016, 4:10:15 PM1 votes

bump to check if the foto works

Njallum4/26/2016, 5:10:15 PM1 votes

Hello! First off, I'd like to congratulate you for making a character that seems both cohesive. fun and interesting. I absolutely LOVE playing mages, and Gwynne would definitely earn a spot in my pool, but at the present she does have a few issues, which I'll do my best to illustrate. First off is the Passive, the first portion of the passive is quite alright, even a bit interesting. The second portion however is problematic, because the damage rivals that of an ultimate, is AoE and has an AP scaling that rivals that of Annie's Tibbers. The fact that some of it is true damage essentially heavily punishes melee opponents, and anyone who is in range of it.

Sure, in the midlane it would be pretty simple to counter her with someone like Lux, but what about toplane? She would hard-counter any melee toplaner like Riven, Renekton or the like, and by hard counter I mean that she would realistically punish them for playing their champion. The same is true for her impact in teamfights, it'd be no trouble at all for Gwynne to use her W to get in the middle of the fray (I would build her extremely tanky, due to her pretty insane base damage and battle mage style) ult and then if they focus her down, proceed to obliderate their entire team with the combination of her W, E, Ult and Passive. Generally, on death effects are pretty difficult to balance, just look at Zyra's old passive, which had a similar effect but had a ridicolous delay in order for it to be fair. To the point where the passive was just plain bad. That passive did way less damage than the potential in Gwynne's passive.

Let's imagine a fairly tanky Gwynne with about 400 Ability Power. Let's imagine that she uses W to get into the middle of the enemy team at an opportune time, when most of their intterupts have been used, she uses her E from stealth for 455 magic damage, she proccs her W auto for an additional 560 magic damage then manages to get off five seconds of her ult, the frontliners are silenced and slowed, and are locked down by her teammates, allowing three proccs to get through, which deals a total of 1515 damage. The entire enemy team focuses her down and is rewarded with a 1050 damage aoe nuke for their efforts. Thus, Gwynne has just dealt upwards of 3580 damage on her own to each member the frontline alone, with just three abilities, not taking the first part of her passive into account. And what happens afterwards, well, she's silenced, and punished for her good play. Now, this is a character with a TON of potential, but she faces a very real risk of becoming a Mage version of Rengar, with the ability to do the same thing that he does, except to a large amount of characters. Stealth is an extremely powerful mechaniic, and very difficult to balance as a result.

I think most of her basic abilities are fine, her W should probably be made purely utility, given how powerful it is, the damage on her ultimate should either scale well, or have high base damage, it's very risky to have both. It does feel like a big hit or miss though, as it either does nothing and severely punishes her, or it carries a fight by itself. I doubt she would see much play in higher elo for that reason, fun as she might be. Alternatively she might find herself banned every game.

Anyway, I had a blast reading through her, the concept is great and sounds like a lot of fun!

regonas4/28/2016, 7:09:49 AM1 votes

CCOS review

Flaws:

  1. Passive not only overloaded to insanity, but also broken. Damage increase, ability negate, damage on death (which is so brokenly strong, that no melee champion would be able to fight against her), ability empowerment. Pretty much broken beyond repair, but lets look deeper. Late game, with about 800 AP, you will be looking at: 54% of damage as bonus true damage, AOE 1125 damage on death, and this just damage.
  2. Q - if it deals damage only once, bust last for 1.5 sec, then you would be usually be wasting time with it. I get it could stun, but for that you need 2 stack of pain on enemy already. I would recommend for it to do damage ever 0.5 sec, so you would have actual reason to keep enemy in this ability.
  3. W - so, pretty much weaker version of Rengar's stealth with bonus damage on next attack? This ins't particularly bad ability, but range to damage is pretty complicated. 1 unit range difference means big damage increase or decrease. It would work much better like Nidalee's spear - closer you are, more % of damage you could deal.
  4. E - only problem is that you can use it from stealth. With some CDR, you could be using this ability up to 2 times while in stealth, dealing high base damage and slowing your target nearly for 100% of time. It is pretty much spammable ability, so using if from stealth and not breaking stealth is pretty much brokenly good.
  5. R - pretty much what was wrong in other abilities in condensed into one single ability. 1 unit range problem, broken damage problem, self silence is pretty much death sentence as it makes every enemy with CC to be her direct counter. However, if enemy doesn't have CC, you can sneak to him/her and start doing 685 damage every sec while they are silenced (with 800 AP) and slowed. This is incredibly more broken version of Katarina's R. You either devastate enemy team like nothing and you get destroyed like nothing, and all that depends not on how good you can play, but what kind of CC enemy team have.
PlasmaFogKing4/29/2016, 5:40:46 AM1 votes

#My review

Passive looks pretty simple to use and could be a good trading tool, because of extra damage. It pretty much encourage you to spam your abilities. Only thing i don't like is that "pain" last forever until you stack it to 3 times. That means, enemy with 2 stacks have to change lines or risk being killed.

Number one problematic ability - Q. As AOE cone channeling ability, it deals pretty low damage, but it looks like it can proc passive multiple times, causing damage to ramp up very fast and pretty much burst trough magic resist easily. This is pretty much a death sentence to all champions with low mobility, because it have nearly 100% to hit them with stun.

Stealth is pretty much out of place. You champion utilizes being close to an enemy and dealing damage, and she have 100% close up tool, which pretty much removes need of thinking and planning. Go into stealth - come closer - burst - profit.

E looks nice.

Fiddlesticks wants his R back. They are very similar, but yours can't be used while moving, have serious drawback, but melee enemies can't do anything to you. Your whole champion is pretty much ant-melee mage, who don't require skills to play. Come close - win. It might very fun to play, but very unfun to play against.

Elphrihaim5/18/2016, 10:54:07 PM1 votes

(I will debate this, if you want, and come back for futher evaluation on replies, if you want.)

#Gwynne, the Wailing Witch

Raw Lore:

Kit first makes me a sad panda! I like Lore first. (9 ~ Initial score)

Banshee? Hum.

There are a few spelling/word errors that don't affect readability too badly. (-0.5 ~ They're errors.)

There's a lot of tell and not a lot of show in the introduction. (+0 ~ Not a problem for openings.)

It was interesting enough to actually make me desire to continue reading, starting from the first half of the first non-italic paragraph. (+3 ~ Not awful) (+3 ~ Interesting) (+4 ~ Quick Hook)

Redundant declaration of ruler followed by text describing exactly what ruler said. (-0.5 ~ Flow-damaging)

(+0 ~ connectivity to another concept)

Raw #Lore: 18 / 20

Kit Analysis

Innate: Faerie Queen's Curse Reads pretty complexly, as it has a number of effects. a. Application of stacks upon hitting with abilities (difficulty 1) b. Each stack causes abilities to deal an additional % of damage (or is it a conversion to true damage), consuming stack. (difficulty 1) c. Can stack up to 3 times. (difficulty 1) d. After 3 stacks are applied, next ability cast within short period by enemy deals no damage. Bonus effects can be applied to enemies with this debuff (consuming this debuff). Enemies that have this debuff applied are immune to (the entire passive? or just this effect) for 10 seconds.

However, note the last clause of B directly contradicts the clause C.

So I assume that, instead, it does not actually consume the stack as the text explicitly states.

Finally, the last component: That bonus effects apply to enemies with the final debuff-- seems pretty pointless. Because it's super gated and would not come up often unless abilities have astonishingly low cooldowns.

Cursory glance at cooldowns? 128, 1511, 139, and 6040. Haven't read what the abilities actually do, yet, but those seem pretty impossible to get the bonuses from!

I don't like the choice of the numbers for the bonus damage (scaling w/ level very well and AP a little bit), because abilities already get level-sourced scaling. But I'm a bit too lazy to do the math that it requests at the moment. (UGH, that will have to be a trend won't it. If I don't come back and do the math for this one, I can't do the math for any of them.)

Ability 1: Agonizing Screech Oh it's a cone that does continuous damage. ALRIGHT. THAT I see how it works well with the passive. But the phrasing is unclear on the passive-- is it "each ability cast can only apply one stack" or that "each damage tick" applies 'em?

This ability itself just makes me happy. It's a limited-area DPS. We don't have anything like this at all; and the ability is nice and simple.

The bonus effect seems odd. It stuns enemies "after taking the full duration". So... it only can stun on the last tick, or can it only stun if enemies were in the thing for the full duration? Phrasing makes me believe the latter though.

I like it overall. The cooldown starts on activation or on effect end? I assume on activation.

Ability 2: Ghastly Whisper

"Channel" or "Delay".

A channel is like Miss Fortune or Lucian's ultimates. A delay is like Twitch's Q, Rengar's ultimate.

Since you wrote "1 second channel" I assume that this ability -requires Gwynne to be still-; as other channels that enable movement explicitly state that they do.

The bonus damage could be better written.. But that's because I'm a drat framing nerd. It's pretty clear.

The stealth scaling is weird to me (almost every other ability has flat level scaling instead of threshold scaling). I can work with it though~

Because this ability is a channel, I would say it has to have a certain level of usefulness... but I definitely think that it has an appropriate amount of strength considering its weakness.

Ability 3: Disembodied Moan Annoyance: You describe the ability as a disembodied moan but the ability is already named so. This is redundant. "Department of Redundancy Department" levels of this, actually.

As far as the ability goes it is pretty simple but it's not like any kit needs something particularly complicated to be good.

It's functional and doesn't have any silly shiny bits, so I like it.

Having now read all 3 basic abilities, I don't see why you have the "some abilities" clause in her passive since only her Q detonates Bleeding Ears. :p

Ultimate Ability (4): Wail of the Banshee ......... It's got a silence but only in the closest area. I don't like this fact, because a number of the enemies that would therefore normally be logical choices to deal with her are suddenly unable to do so. But it does root her so...

Personally I'd prefer it if she didn't self-root but that's just a feel-based statement; as a self-root is a very commital effect that easily reinforces some gameplay established by her W and Q.

The base damage is a little high, but it is appropriately decreased with range. Since there isn't a maximum duration, that easily means she could hold it up for the duration of a teamfight-- and is not exaaactly punished for doing so (due to the self silence after the fact).

#Flow/Fun (22/25) I see quite a few hiccups coming due to her ability cooldowns all scaling down with rank. I think it may be better for flow if some ability had its lowest cooldown available from the start... but I can also see why that would be undesirable, so I can't disagree with the choice (despite it impacting the flow).

Fun? Not my style of kit, but DEFINITELY suits a number of tropes, the kit looks at least interesting, and I could easily imagine some of these abilities actually being really nice to have.

#Design Implementation (15/20) It's interesting. It's unique. It's a sound mage that has zero commonalities with Sona.

It has a problem in that you call her a "AP caster that gets easily bursted".

If she is easily bursted, then properly using her ultimate causes her to die unless her team is backing her up. Which... seems right, going into a 1v(>1) is a bad idea, but simply because the ability asks her to get as close to an enemy as possible she shouldn't be made of glass (and therefore no longer would be 'easily bursted').

Which, well, still works. Just like how Ekko was supposed to be an assassin but hardly anybody builds him that way because he's ridiculous when built mostly-tank and actually struggles a bit at times when built AP.

It's not "bad", it just feels counter to what you write.

#Novelty (18/20) I do like it. It's a different take on burst and sustained damage outputs, sort of like how Malzahar was before his update (where he followed a burst pattern, but did it over time)-- just in a way that actually feels interesting and compelling to use during that time.

#Cohesiveness (13/15) It feels odd to me overall-- the voice throwing, the stealth, the two damage over time effects...

It works, but it doesn't feel completely right.

I don't like the Twitch quote (but why is a mystery). All the others are great, though.

I feel like I have to mark you down somewhere for your poor use of "separates good X from great X". I mean, I can't, because that's you justifying part of the kit instead of being part of the kit. :V

= 18+22+15+18+13 = 86 / 100 [Bonus x0]