The Juggernaut Club: Part 48

Now outside the Sinful Succulence, Garen looks around at the ruined streets of Noxus.

: Man, what happened here? Did Galio decide to imitate what Sion did back home or something?

As he walks the streets, Garen comes across Riven's "Bunny Bar", newly rebuilt, now in the heart of town.

: Whoa! What happened to this place? Wasn't it on the outskirts last time I was here?

Riven, having heard him, steps outside and looks at him with a dry expression,

: You mean you don't know?

Garen shakes his head no innocently. Riven rolls her eyes.

(Sarcastic tone): Do I have to paint a picture for you? OK...

She starts doodling in the dirt, drawing crude pictures of the people she mentions as she speaks. First, it's a poor image of Draven

: Draven is an egotistical idiot, to start off...

: (Sarcastically back at her) Telling me nothing I didn't already know...

: Don't interrupt! He's always hanging around my bar because he's banned from the Sinful Succulence...

She draws a picture of him getting chased by Morgana.

: Now that I didn't know.

: I said, don't interrupt! Now, he decided to get on the bad side of Mordekaiser...

Next, a poor picture of an angry Morde staring at the egotistical Draven.

: That's not hard to do...

Finally, next to the angry Morde, she draws a poor rendition of the Ocean Drake chasing the poorly drawn Draven.

: Stop interjecting, blast it all... Anyways, while Draven was at my bar, he decided to anger Morde. Morde sent Bubbles to "straighten him out." Does this suggest anything to you?

Garen quickly figures out what she's getting at, but he can't help himself from getting on Riven's nerves.

: Sure it does! You've got a crush on Draven!

Riven cringes and tenses up upon hearing Garen say that. Her hands start to curl into fists, but she tries to take a deep breath and calm down.

: Give me patience...

: Don't you mean give me Strength?

: THAT'S IT!

She pulls out her sword, intending to attack Garen! But as she strikes him with her weapon, it breaks against his hard armor!

Riven looks back and forth at her even more broken sword and Garen's not-even-so-much as dented armor. Garen calmly raises one eyebrow. Riven smiles sheepishly and pats Garen twice on the shoulder.

: Good stock...

She pats it twice more.

: Good battle...

She pats it once more.

: GOODBYE!

She runs inside her bar and slams the door shut, even locking it for good measure.

: What was that all about?

Garen then hears what sounds like footsteps coming his way. As they get closer, he looks upward and sees as Talon vaults up over a building thanks to his E. But due to the damage the building suffered, his hand-hold gives way, and he slips and falls, landing right on his face a small distance away from Garen!

CRASH!

As Talon gets up and dusts himself off, Garen is snickering. Talon lets out a grunt resembling a "Humph", and reaches inside his shirt pocket. He forcibly hands Garen a piece of paper and runs off. Garen calls after him as he does.

: Oh yeah, sure! Salvage the pride, Salvage that pride, Talon!

He then looks at the piece of paper.

: What's this anyway?

He opens it, and its a document of some kind.

It reads: "This notice officially grants the below named individual Noxian Citizenship, and all rights pertained to being such. This includes but is not limited to...

: Yeah... not reading all of that. Let's just skip down to the bottom!

He does so, and sees the following written in red. Garen assumes it to either be lipstick, or blood.

(Thinking): Probably the latter rather than the former, judging by the handwriting, and her usual quirks...

Garen (From your Honey-Bunny!)"

(Thinking): Thought so.

In the corner, a green "Approved" symbol is stamped on the document.

: I had to sneak into Swain's office while he was gone to get that! There was no way he'd do it, so I decided to skip all the red-tape and do it myself!

: SWEET JUSTICE!

Garen turns around, and sitting behind him still wheelchair bound, was Katarina. Cassiopeia is still pushing it along from behind.

: So, to celebrate, why not go over to my place for a little "funtime"?

Still covered in bandages as well as a cast on her leg (Thus explaining the wheelchair), Katarina nonetheless tries to take a sultry pose.

: I have no time to trick you into making out with a broom today, Kat. I gotta get to Sion's monument and get my Juggernaut Club membership back!

Garen runs off, towards Sion's Monument.

: Wow. What did he say he's tricked you into doing?

She looks, and Katarina is holding a broom that she's turned into a Garen Dakimakura, which she hugs affectionately. Cass looks disturbed.

(Thinking): I think my sister's infatuation has turned into an obsession...

Garen runs along, but comes to a roadblock. Or, rather, a large chunk of a destroyed building that's blocking the path.

: Oh come on! Can't I just get there without SOMETHING getting in my way!? I'll bet they're having another one of those awesome parties without me, that's probably why the city looks like it does.

As Garen looks for a way to get past this roadblock, Kled and Skaarl are seen coming around a bend some distance away. Kled is high on mushroom juice, as one might expect from him. Looking at Garen, he sees him as a gigantic, antagonistic Badger.

: Skaarl, you seein' this?

Skaarl: Growls affirmatively

: You know what to do...

Skaarl rolls up into a ball like in Kled's ultimate, and the two start charging towards Garen. To help boost their momentum, they are at the top of a hill and start rolling down it towards him.

: CHHAAAARRRGGE!

To Be Continued...