[Champion Concept] Naias, the Dark's Chains

IlluminatiJoe·8/15/2017, 10:13:58 AM·2 votes·678 views

Changelog: -Passive: Name changed to Rusty Chains. Regenerates 40-55% of missing health over 5 seconds when out of combat upon loosing 50% max health or being in a combat for more than 6 seconds with a champion. New: Every second attack and all basic abilities put the enemy into chains, up to 5 chains. Every chain slows the enemy by 3%. -Q: If it hits an enemy, it can't move away from Naias nor dash or blink for 2 seconds. New: If it hits an enemy, a radius is showed around Naias. The enemy is slowed by 75% if it moves away from Naias. If the enemy dashes, blinks, teleports or gets out of the radius, it is dealt 10 - 350 physical damage (based on enemy level). Cooldown increased to 14 seconds from 10. Damage decreased to 20/40/60/80/100/120 physical damage. -W: Name changed to Jailbreak. A row of spikes puncture trough the ground dealing 20/40/60/80/100 (+60% AD) physical damage and knocking up enemies hit. New: Knocks back all enemies with at least 1 chain. Every additional chain deals 15/30/45/70/85 additional damage and knocks back the enemy 50 units more.

Role: Fighter Lane: Top


Abilities

Passive [Rusty Chains]: Every second attack and all basic abilities put the enemy into chains, up to 5 chains. Every chain slows the enemy by 3%. Abilities steal a % of target's maximum health.

Q [Torture Chains]: Fires a hook that attaches to a champion dealing 20/40/60/80/100/120 (+40/45/50/55/60% AD) physical damage. The more distance the projectile travels the more damage it deals (up to 60/100/140/180/220/260). If it hits an enemy, a radius is showed around Naias for 5 seconds. The enemy is slowed by 75% if it moves away from Naias. If the enemy dashes, blinks, teleports or gets out of the radius, it is dealt 10 - 350 physical damage (based on enemy level). Cooldown: 14 seconds Steal: 9% of target's max health Cost: 20/45/70/95/120 health Range: 1650

W [Jailbreak]: Knocks back all enemies with at least 1 chain. Every additional chain deals 15/30/45/70/85 additional damage and knocks back the enemy 50 units more. Steal: 5% of all target's current health Cost: 8% maximum health Cooldown: 16 seconds Range: 950

E [Chain Lock]: Fires a chain that deals 8% of target's current health (+50% AD) as true damage. If it hits an enemy champion, this ability can be recast to dash behind the enemy. Upon reactivation, grants a shield that blocks 10/20/30/40/50 (+10/15/20/25/30% AD) damage. Cooldown: 24/23/22/21/20 seconds Cost: 8% max health Steal: 15% of target's max health Range: 1000

R [Whirlwind of Pain]: Fires Chains at nearby enemy champions that attach to them. Enemies with health above 50% are knocked back by 850/900/950 units and enemies below 50% are kept inside the radius and dealt 6% of their max health per second for 4 seconds. This ability doesn't steal health, but heals. Cooldown: 150/135/120 seconds Radius: 675 Heal: 55/65/75% of damage dealt Cost: 12% max health


Recommended Items

Starting:

item 1054 item 2003

Early:

item 1043 item 3211 item 1001

Essential:

item 3153 item 3065 item 3047 or item 3006 if needed more attack speed

Offensive:

item 3078 item 3053 item 3074 or item 3748 if going for a tank build

Defensive:

item 3075 item 3139 item 3022

7 Comments

TheGoomyGamer8/15/2017, 2:43:13 PM1 votes

Review for the CCOS outreach bonus:

Passive: I think this is a bad passive, from the looks of it, it has no cooldown. This would mean lots of sustain, and while it does promote all-ins or poking as opposed to extended but not fatal trades, I think it could be implemented in a more interactive way. Perhaps for the health she steals, half is healed immediately and half is consumed by this passive?

Q - I think this is a good idea, but bad execution. There is literally zero counterplay. Instead, this could perhaps have a heavy slow attached to it when moving away? That would still be severe CC, but allow someone to break the chain should they get hit by it. If you must keep the cannot-move-away-from aspect, perhaps make it so entering combat with the chained enemy breaks the chain? It wouldn't be fun if an assassin jumped on top of you and you couldn't move away from them.

W - I don't think this fits with the chain theme. What if instead she whips all of the currently active chains, knocking up all enemies affected by the chains? This would probably require a passive to chain enemies every x autoattacks or something similar, though.

E - I quite like this ability, its a good shield-providing gapcloser that takes skill to use. I think this ability is good and healthy for the game.

R - The concept is quite cool, and it could also be used for some Janna-esque plays of Flashing and ulting to knock the full-health carry into your team. At the end of the duration, I think it would be quite thematically cool if you would pull everyone towards yourself, but that might be too OP.

With the concept, I think it's less suited for an assassin (Primarily because sustain assassins aren't super healthy Akali ) and more towards a fighter/tank, a bit similar to rhaast. As long as there is sufficient counterplay, this concept is a pretty good one, and with some number tweaks and additions/alterations I have noted it could become quite a bit better :)

Sad Tyrant8/16/2017, 4:09:57 AM1 votes

" If it hits an enemy, a radius is showed around Naias for 5 seconds. The enemy is slowed by 75% if it moves away from Naias. If the enemy dashes, blinks, teleports or gets out of the radius, it is dealt 10 - 350 physical damage (based on enemy level)."

I think this would work better as part of the passive, 6.5% - 15% slow per chain, 2 - 70 per chain.

also, try to avoid max health cost, they are better as Current health costs.

"Steal: 5% of all target's current health" I think these would also work better in the passive section as well, because it is part of the passive that does the stealing. unless i'm misinterpreting.

Raxistaicho8/16/2017, 3:32:06 PM1 votes

Hey there, I'm here to offer you a bit of help with your concept :)

Passive - Don't necessarily see any trouble right away. The slow actually strikes me as on the weak side, but that'll depend on the rest of his kit, so I'll return to that later on. If he's stealing %max health, he definitely seems like he's meant to be fighting tanks.

Q - Is this targeted or a skillshot? I'm gonna GUESS skillshot because of that HUGE range. Also, does it pierce enemies or does it stop at the first damaged? Anyways, this ability having such long range but only slowing an area around Naias (unless it slows for that huge 1400 area @.@) are both aspects at-odds with each other. Given that Naias is supposed to be a fighter, it doesn't make sense for him to have Xerath-level range on his Q, maybe cut the range to around 850 to 950. After that, I'd suggest having the slowing field be around the damaged enemy instead of Naias, and remove the "damaged if you try to leave the area" mechanic. The thing is, that component of the ability gives you two options; you either stay close to a melee champion or you try to get away from him and get nuked, and neither option works for enemies who cannot already kill Naias. You shouldn't present a player with two options when neither of them are good ones. Lastly, the AD scaling on this ability seems like it should be Bonus AD just from reading what this ability does.

W - Is 950 the cast range or knockback range? I'm gonna guess cast range. Also, is this targeted? If so, 950 is unusually long, targeted abilities usually have around 650 to 700 range. The only real thing this ability does for him is combo with his E, letting him dash past enemies and then knock them away from safety. Being a melee champion he doesn't really want to knock enemies AWAY from him (even though this does stack his slow). Also, the fact that this steals CURRENT health defies what he wants to do with this skill: the stacking from his passive makes him want to use it later, usually, but that means he's stealing less health, and the fact that he heals from using this means he generally wants to use it when he needs more health, but that's usually going to be when the enemy has less current health to steal. Since his concept is based around using his health-costing damaging abilities to also steal health, he should have current health costs so he's spending less health to get health back when he needs it most (at low health).

Honestly, it seems like it would be more thematically appropriate if this ability yanked a chained enemy TOWARD Naias, but that's not terribly useful due to the fact that he has to get close to place a decent number of chains.

E - That's... a LOT of damage. The shield is tiny though. See, the issue is, he doesn't need all the innate stickiness he's got when he also has a pretty good-range dash that he doesn't have to commit to. I'll get back to this one, but I think if you wanna go in a better way with his chain thematic, this ability is one I would drop.

R - That's a HUGE knockback, but I think you're on the right track with this skill. In my opinion this should be either an AOE pull (I think a health threshold is a good idea for that) or something to trap enemies around him - the Q concept would probably be better off here, probably stll with the health threshold. Like with his W, he doesn't exactly want to knock enemies away from him, and the way in which this skill would be used in its current iteration is VERY similar to how people use Xin's ultimate.

Oh, and also, almost every non-mana ultimate is free, the lone exception being Mundo's.

Okay so Naias' thematic is pretty clearly about trapping enemies and stopping them from getting away with his chains, but he doesn't QUITE hit the mark just yet. I don't honestly think that the health cost and health stealing mechanics are very necessary, as they kinda divide his overall mechanic into "traps you" and "leeches off you" while Vladimir already does the second one. He also lacks a huge close-range haymaker of an ability to use when he actually gets close to enemies (his get over here abilities are the majority of his damage, which leads him to having similar issues a Jarvan where he dumps all his damage in the act of getting close and then doesn't have a lot of followup to go with it).

What I'd suggest is:

-His passive is fine with the suggestion I've got, and it might be okay to let him Ground chained targets if they have a certain number of chain on them. -Change his W to a pull, the chains to range scaling is fine and pretty good for him. -Move his Q over to his E, have it be a low-damage, low-cooldown, low-cost ability that latches a chain onto the first enemy it hits. Let him spam this to layer chains onto an enemy and disable them getting away. -Change his Q to some sort of potent close-range damaging ability so he can beat on enemies efficiently once he has them within punching distance. -His ultimate is pretty close, the suggestions I listed for that should be fine.

That might help him hit a stronger cohesion with what seems to be his fantasy :) Or I may be misunderstanding your intentions.

Either way, I hope this helps!

If you'd like to really get into concept creation, it would also do you a lot of good to check out the CCOS, it's a monthly contest we have to make champion concepts :D If nothing else, you'd learn a lot from checking it out.

Here's a link: https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/E22YHwKZ-ccos-august-ccos-entry-time-enter-here

TigerNox8/17/2017, 3:34:38 PM1 votes

Hello there! Now that you have a few reviews received already, there isn't much for me to say... Still, I'll try to be of help. Hence, here are my thoughts on your concept; I'll try to only name a few new things:

Now, there is no lore, so I'll just assume the them of this champ. Which would be trapping and... shoving? Interestingly enough he either tries to make you stay where you are or get you out of his face. I'll admit I don't really associate the latter with chains, but let's see how the actual kit does.

For the passive I'd say, It is... alright? I can deal with the first part, though you might want to amp it up a tiny bit in later stages of the game (15% isn't that much of a slow really, though hindering). What I am very unsure about is the sapping max health thing. It is static, so it will annoy tanks all game, and the numbers are really not bad. And as far as I see it, that is on top of any damage he deals. It is gated away with long cooldowns though, still... something bugs me about this, and be sure I will edit it in when I have found out what.

Now, the Q... Not even Nidalee spears have that range. And on a fighter who wants to get up close and personal, I don't think this range is neither needed nor usable. Of course you could snipe some poor victim from over a screen away and run towards it while they try to run, but that isn't very fighter-like. fighters mostly have limited range, and if they have not, they must have a good reason to. And honestly I don't see any reason. On that note, opposed to the slow on the passive, this slow is incredibly strong, as it's not decaying or anything. Coupled with the dash punishment this is an effective stick ability, though as there is no duration heads up for this, it might be a bit oppressive. Especially since It hurts you when dashing, so you either stay and get damage, or leave and get more damage. That decision can only be a wrong one, so no good counterplay.

While I think all in all W is a solid ability, there are a few sore thumbs sticking out. First of, the health cost doesn't seem to be justified, even though you might get... what, 15% of their current health pools? My advice: Reduce that cost a bit. Secondly, as a thematic thing, chains normally don't push, do they? I know, it is just that, but it really doesn't make sense to me. Maybe you can explain it? Third, that range seems to high. 1000 is almost your vision radius, you know? I'd suggest something more along the lines of 600, that's solid mid range.

E does loads of damage. I mean, true damage is just that, true damage. And regardless if you hit a tank or a carry, 8% Health plus half of your AD is a lot for damage you cannot resist. In turn, the shield is pretty weak. Also it scales of AD. And while Riven too has a shield that schales of AD, she isn't sipping at all enemies all day long. So... As it doesn't do much, I'd suggest you remove it. He doesn't need another defensive thing when he has a passive like that.

R... I'd like to say the following things: The knockback is very big, too high I might say. Loosing 24% of your max health is juicy, given you use a Q to keep them in the radius. Besides those unfortunate souls, nobody will stay that 4 seconds in your zone, not if they can walk out.

All in all I think what scares me is that if he lands a full rotation, he get's a whooping 51% off anyones health, and heals for 46%. And that's not counting any base damages or ratios. On the other hand as a fighter he has way too long ranges, while lacking a close range ability with a lot of oomph. Oh, and as a thematic thing, W and R push as opposed to pulling things.

If it weren't for the long ranges (and the dash), I'd see him as a potent juggernaut. But for now he suffers a bit from theming, but I think my predecessors already addressed that. Still, I think this concept has potential.

If you want to return the favor and tear my concept up, have a look here.

I hope I could be of help :)

Anyways, have a good one!