The Juggernaut Club: Part 15

Vi, Jayce and Caitlyn have arrived to Noxus. They approach the damaged headquarters of the Grand General. Vi knocks on the door.

: It's the Vi and Jayce Demoli- I mean, Construction Team, reporting for duty!

: Hey! I thought we agreed it was Jayce and Vi!

Vi puts up a gauntleted finger to Jayce.

: Nooo, we agreed it was Vi and Jayce, or else that slogan we worked on for months and even had Heimerdinger test for us would go to waste!

_ The two get into an argument over the naming sense of their joint-business, and Caitlyn hears footsteps approaching the door. She puts up her gun between them._

: Shut up, both of you! Someone's coming to answer the door, and we need to show them that we ARE professionals!

: ...Alright.

: Sighs

The door opens. It's Vladimir.

: Ahh, just the people we were hoping to see. This way please!

He invites them inside, and they start walking the halls towards Swain's office.

: Now, you ARE the "top-notch" building firm that the flyer you deposited at our mail office led us to believe, correct?

Caitlyn nods

: Yes, these two are the best in the business! We're sure to get the job done exactly to your specifications.

: Hey! We're supposed to say that!

Jayce nudges her, and she covers her mouth quickly as Vladimir looks at her with one eyebrow raised

: Oops! I mean Changes her tone and style of speaking to like her taunt/joke towards an enemy Caitlyn Y-yes, we ARE most professional. WE have balanced skill tactics, mentor developed synergies, and-

CRASH!

: Vlad? What was that!? THAT HAD BETTER NOT BE SION BREAKING OUT OF HIS TIME-OUT CORNER!

: Hang on! Gonna look out the window!

Vlad pulls back the curtains of a nearby window, gasps, and covers it back up quickly.

: Umm... Swain?

: WHAT!?

: Did you invite Urgot over for anything?

: URGOT!?

: You must have F-Urgot, huh?

Caitlyn looks at Jayce dryly.

: Are you a professional, or are you a prankster?

: NO, I'M THE PRANKSTER!

: Oh NO...

Everyone goes outside, and see Jinx riding on Urgot's back as he crashes through the buildings of Noxus.

: Where is Sion!? I intend to show him my "new and improved" state and make him EAT HIS WORDS!

Jinx is completely A-OK with the chaos resulting from his actions, and his words are goading her on further.

: Ooh, ooh! Can we make the words spicy and salty?

: Sure!

: YAAAY!

She pulls out her rocket launcher and shoots at the group gathered at the front door of the headquarters.

: TAKE COVER!

: I got this!

Jayce takes position and readies his hammer like a baseball bat. When the rocket gets close enough, he whacks it away, sending it flying towards Sion's monument. Urgot claps.

: Well hit, sir! Very well hit!

Vi is fuming with anger, and starts winding her arms.

: Cupcake, I am gonna kill her. She's adding MORE to our workload with the structrual damage that she's causing!

: Vi, NO!

: CHHHAAARRRGGEE!

Vi goes running into the city after Urgot and Jinx.

Vladimir watches her and then goes back inside the headquarters and into Swain's office.

: Swain! Good news! The construction people are already hard at work! Uhh, Swain?

Swain is just staring out the window, and he then turns to Vladimir. His eyes are wet with tears. Vlad doesn't know about it, but Swain is remembering the destruction wrought on Demacia, and now sees it mirrored in his own city.

: M-My beautiful Noxus...

Swain falls to his knees, slamming his hands on the ground as he sobs

: CURSE YOU AND YOUR JUGGERNAUT CLUB, DARIUS!

In Ionia, Darius and the Juggernaut Club are approaching an Ionian town that is holding it's "Blood Moon" festival. Shen and Akali are on the stage, performing traditional plays of entertainment.

: What's going on?

They see the costumes that Shen and Akali are wearing.

: Hey, that looks cool!

: Dream on, Voli! Us Juggernauts are never gonna get a Blood Moon skin!

: Muffles in approval of what Morde said

: Some of us are just never going to even GET a skin...

Illaoi puts her hand on Yorick's shoulder in understanding sympathy.

: OK... we need to get Shen's attention, but let's TRY to avoid trouble, if we can.

: Not to worry, Dictator, I'll handle it!

: NO WAIT-

Nasus activates his ult, growing to a huge size.

: The Juggernaut Club calls on the aid of Doctor Shen and his associates! I repeat, the Juggernaut Club calls on the aid of Doctor Shen and his associates!

The sudden appearance of a huge dog-like creature, along with his loud voice, draws the attention of Shen, Akali and the audience of their show.

: Akali, what exactly am I looking at?

: That... is a gigantic dog.

: No, I know that! I mean, what is that group gathered at the dog's feet?

: It's...

They look at the group, and although their faces are covered by masks, their eyes widen as they realize who the gathered people are

: Oh no... IT'S ANOTHER NOXIAN INVASION!

This causes the people to erupt into full-blown panic, and they go running in random directions as Akali points a finger at them

: AND THEY AREN'T ALONE THIS TIME! THEY GOT THE DEMACIANS, FRELJORDS, BILGEWATERS, ZAUNITES, SHURIMANS, AND EVEN THE SHADOW ISLES FOLK TO JOIN IN!

: TO ARMS! TO ARMS!

Shen and Akali go running off as Darius vainly raises a hand to stop them. He looks up at Nasus, who scratches the back of his head in embarrassment.

: Sorry, Dictator-for-Life...

: (Exasperated tone) It's fine...

In Targon, Garen has finished explaining what happened to Pantheon and why he's dressed like him.

: I knew it. That's Taric's "Third Strike"!

: Pardon?

: He is OUTTA here! Lemme tell ya, this ISN'T the first time this has happened. The first time, he was just giddy about being named the Aspect of the Protector, so I let it slide. The SECOND time, me and Diana were vying for Pantheon's affections, and HE wanted in on our action! But by the Sun's Light, I am NOT letting it slide ANYMORE!

: What about me?

: You got your comeuppence with the armored slap. She summons her shield Unless you want more?

Garen holds up his hands

: Nope!

: Good! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Sunrise to watch!

True to her words, behind them, the sun was rising. Leona turns around and squeals with glee as she watches. Garen shrugs his shoulders, and starts heading back towards the village to get his clothes back.

To Be Continued...

Can you believe it? I've written 15 of these silly things! https://i.giphy.com/media/jdHBqxn6Q5Rn2/giphy.gif

Thanks to everyone who reads along, and hopefully we'll still be laughing together as we go forward with the misadventures of the Juggernaut Club!