A Corporate Matter Season 9 Episode 2

#A Corporate Matter Episode: Shackled Unshackled and Reshackled

"This the balance designer's office?"

"Yep. Hey, wait. Aren't you that escaped prisoner we were looking for?"

"What are you going to do if I am?"

"Nothing much, I'll just have to write an incident report after you beat up Lee, and they like it if I know who did it."

"Well then, yes. I am Sylas the unshackled."

"Alright, Lee is right in there."

"Thank you." "Walks in."

"Who's there, who are you?"

"You can call me Sylas, I am going to single-handedly raze this building to the ground. But first, you are going to buff me."

"I don't think so buddy, I don't just buff on demand."

"Oh really?" "Roundhouse kicks Corporate Lee Sin into a wall."

"Ugh."

"Hurts, doesn't it? Now, about those buffs?"

Sometime later:

"What's going on in here?"

"I heard screaming and someone begging for their life. So I ran in here and found that escaped prisoner, Sylas, holding Lee hostage."

"Wow, that's kinda ironic."

"I was not screaming or begging for my life, I don't know what you heard."

"Anyway, Sylas escaped out the window before I could do anything. We need to stop him before he hurts someone else."

"Isn't that the security division's job?"

"Well, yes, but. Kled is still out on business. I don't know where Pyke is. Ivern still hasn't gotten over the fact that Daisy mauled him. And Leona thinks Sylas in the right here."

"Sigh." "Fine, we can stop this one. I had better get Sona over here."

"No, you can't stop him. With the buffs I gave, no normal champion can challenge him."

"Can't you just undo the buffs?"

"We are on a two-week patch cycle for a reason, If I attempt another change so soon, I risk a bug breaking everything and everyone."

"Well then, what are we going to do to stop him?"

"I know someone, Firecracker Vayne might be able to help."

"Aren't you listening to me, no one has the power to stop him."

"There's something different about her. I don't know, but she's not the same Firecracker Vayne she was before, she's far more powerful."

"You do you, I am going to hide under this desk until it's safe to nerf him."

Over in Corporate Mundo's office:

"In order to take down this company, I need to cut the head off the snake. The most powerful here needs to die!"

"Please no, me not ready to meet maker yet."

"At last, I've come for you, JARRO LIGHTFEATHER!"

"Hey, listen. I don't know what you've heard. But Jarro isn't real. I am Ezreal, and no one else."

"Try and lie all you want. I have heard tales of your great and mighty feats. I will never be free with someone like you in charge."

"You wanna hurt my friends, you are going to have to go through me!"

"Oh, look. A walking monument to ignorance. No matter, you are but a small delay to me now." "Repeatedly lashes Galio into pieces with his chains."

"That wasn't very fun. Give me a bit to reform and we can have a rematch!"

"Sigh."

"SURRENDER NOW SYLAS!"

"Oh look, more Corporates to kill."

"Give yourself up and we promise we will not be harmed."

"Hah! You are going to be the one who gets harmed. And don't bother giving up, it won't make me any more merciful."

"Sona, do something!"

"!!!"

"Let me speak for you, Sona. FORTISSISSIMO!!!!!"

"I feel an uncontrollable urge to dance, someone help!" "Dances."

"Now, what have you got, little Gnar?" "Steals Corporate Gnar's ult."

"Don't do it!"

"Oooh, this feels nice. RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Goes mega."

"I hope Vayne gets here soon. Lee was right, we can't stop him."

"THEY ALWAYS SAID I WAS A MONSTER, GUESS THEY WERE RIGHT!"

"Well, luckily. I have made a living off of hunting down monsters. As those in my bloodline have before me."

"Do not mourn your parents, Vayne. They had it coming."

"So do you." "Shoots him full of fireworks. Pinning him against a wall and exploding him into submission."

"This power! You are no ordinary champion. You have something I have never seen. What is it?"

"I don't know much, but it's called prestige. With it, I have become unstoppable."

"Prestige? I most know m-"

"Shut up!" "Knocks him out with a kick to the head."

"Thank you so much for helping with this. Prestige, huh?"

"I guess, I woke up one morning, there was a hole in the roof of my house, directly above my bed. I looked in the mirror and I was glowing gold. One word stuck in my, prestige. Since then, I have felt more powerful than I ever have before."

"So, what do we do with Sylas now?"

"Do not worry, Corporate Mundo take care of that. You all go back to daily business."

Later, in the power room:

"Really, you put me right back here? THESE CHAINS CANNOT HOLD ME FOREVER, I WILL GET OUT OF HERE! AND WHEN I DO NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME, NOT EVEN YOUR PRESTIGED FRIENDS!!!"