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[CCOS] CHARACTER CONCEPT - Eshar, the Celestial Duelist

Morcyth·10/5/2016, 10:08:16 PM·2 votes·1,549 views

Eshar - The Celestial Duelist... Picturefrom DeviantArt by PuffyChin Very similar in concept but not quite what I was looking for (Due to Eshar being male and this being feminine) This isn’t my work I found this while trying to describe what I had in mind

Stats & Other Essentials Primary Role: Fighter
Secondary Role: Slayer

HP - 560 - 1980 MP - N/A HP5 - 8.3 - 17.8 MP5 - N/A Melee - 125 Armor - 25 - 70 Magic Resist - 30 - 50 Attack Damage - 56 - 110 Attack Speed - 0.640 ( +0 - 58%) Movement Speed - 365

Passive - Relativity Eshar is not affected by Cooldown Reduction instead his auto attacks reduce his spell cooldowns. (He does have cooldowns it's just that CDR doesn't affect them.)

  • Cooldown Reduction - (1) second

DESIGN PHILOSOPHY Used as a way to reduce his high cooldowns but if bullied is severly punished. As of right now thinking about changing.

Q - Phase Active - Eshar phases out of existence gaining movement speed.

  • Cooldown - (20) seconds (w/2.5AS CD ~ 8 seconds)(w/Guinsoo’s CD ~ 4 seconds)

  • Duration - (1.0, 1.2, 1.4, 1.6, 1.8) seconds

  • Movement Speed Modifier - (20%)

  • Phases - Invisible and won’t break stealth by interacting with things, Can pass through terrain.

DESIGN PHILOSOPHY A gap closer with much utility but can be countered with a pink ward true vision or red trinket with some cc because it's similar to a shaco q but no jump and shorter duration. I thought about it as flash but drawn out. I can understand that terrain bypass is very strong but due to the incredible cooldown without combat I thought this was balanced for it’s duration. He also isn’t a burst champion which made me think of this ability as a similar way to attack as Master Yi’s Q, quick attacks while invisible. I believe with the New Stealth mechanics Riot has released for the Assassin Rework this ability would be classified as INVISIBILITY, although I will check to see specifics and change accordingly if I don't the way it balances out.

W - Focus of Energies Passive - Eshar’s auto attacks grant him stacks of Ethereal Energy.

  • Max Stacks - (5) Stacks
  • Armor and Magic Resist - (3) per stack

Active - Eshar takes all of the energy he has gained and focuses it into his blade dealing magic damage.

  • Stacks Required/Consumed - (5) Stacks
  • Cooldown - N/A (w/2.5AS CD = 2 seconds)
  • Damage Dealt - (40, 50, 60, 70, 80 + 0.5AD & 0.3AP)

DESIGN PHILOSOPHY Great damage spell that is meant to work well with his on hit/ attack speed build, but doesn't apply on hit effect damage. It also gives minimal tankiness artificially as I have seen champions abuse tanky stat generation (Graves). (A very good trinity force proc-er too.)

E - Release of Energies Active - Eshar creates a “bubble” of Ethereal energy dealing magic damage on cast. The “bubble” restricts the movement speed and attack speed of enemies within, while Eshar’s are increased.

  • Cooldown - (40, 30, 20) seconds (w/2.5AS CD = 16, 12, 8 seconds)
  • Damage Dealt - (40, 70, 80, 90, 100 + 0.3AD & 0.2AP)
  • Movement/Attack Speed Reduction - (15%)
  • Movement/Attack Speed Increase - (25%)
  • Duration - (3.00, 3.75, 4.50, 5.25, 6.0) seconds
  • Size (Diameter) - (750) units (Smaller than Ekko W for clarification)

DESIGN PHILOSOPHY A great dueling combat tool with some utility for Eshar. A great combo piece with his ultimate although I didn’t make it the same size it's only 250 units smaller.

R - Celestial Rift Active - Eshar forms a Planar Rift to open in a Crescent (Circle) in front of him. Which moves in target direction for a certain distance and then stops for a limited amount of time. There is a gap in the rift where Eshar is. Anyone can walk into the Rift through the edges, but no one can leave without going through the gap. Both Allied and Opposing flashes and movement abilities cannot bypass the rift. (As in you can't flash or cast an ability to go over/through the Rift.) They

  • Cooldown - (160, 130, 100) seconds (w/2.5AS CD = 64, 52, 40 seconds)
  • Duration - (4, 5, 6) seconds
  • Size (Diameter) - (1000) units (200 units bigger than Ekko W)
  • Range (Distance Traveled) - (450) units
  • Skill Speed - (1600) units

DESIGN PHILOSOPHY A really strong anti-kite tool that works similar to jarvan’s ult but anyone can enter as to stop Eshar. I made it able to affect allies because I mean if you were hit by a Celestial rift it would affect you too wouldn't it (Not sure of this decision though). It is a great team fight/dueling tool that doesn't mean Eshar WILL kill you, but tends to do so. Leaves much room for outplays. Think of its movement away from Eshar as a Riven’s Wind Slash that when it reaches the end stops for a bit.

Lore - General

Friends = Bard (Celestial), Aurelion Sol (Due to age), Jax, Fiora, Xin Zhao, Feste (Non-posted Character concept) Rivals = Jax, Fiora, Xin Zhao, Feste (Non-posted Character Concept) Enemies = Aatrox

Eshar is an Celestial. One of many who cannot be, but still are. He is a being that walks the planes but never really belongs to just one. He has lived the worth of many lives and is living with a lust for trial. Going between worlds and planes testing and seeking those he cannot beat and working towards the improvement of both. His interests in this are unknown to all, even sometimes to himself. Throughout the history of Runeterra Eshar made brief appearances as to inspect the worth of the duelists of the previous generations. Those in Runeterra who have seen him throughout the years don’t believe it, from his history he was given the name The Celestial Duelist, but now Eshar is back. Different from the previous times, with a fire in his eyes.

Lore - Important Event Unknown to almost all, Eshar has watched the lives of many great warriors, many of which he didn’t deem worthy of dueling, for they were too barbaric to be seen as duelists. Eshar’s belief in this was almost unwavering, although he has broken this ideal for only one opponent. That opponent was Aatrox, the Darkin Warrior. Nobody knows anything about either. Aatrox being one of the only five Darkin, and Eshar being a Celestial. Although they both know who the other one is. Eshar sees Aatrox’s bloodlust and sheer killing power as disgusting, Aatrox’s ability to create a gruesome battle vigor and blood lust in the minds of people caused Eshar to fester hatred for this Darkin Blade. Knowing far too well the wars Aatrox had taken part in, Eshar made the decision that Aatrox, although unworthy of a duel, was worthy of death. Before long after this decision Eshar sought out the Darkin. Eshar confronted Aatrox and with a darkened scowl Aatrox faced him back. Without any words given between the two, the fight began. Eshar and Aatrox fought for hours neither gaining nor losing ground. Aatrox’s furious slashing and strength beat back any attempt that Eshar made to hit him. While Eshar’s graceful movements dodged the lumbering yet fast swaths of Aatrox’s sword. The day became night and they fought and fought until the moment where Eshar landed a quick stab and then capitalized on Aatrox reaction quickly following up every hit and brought down the Darkin. Eshar stood over Aatrox for moments with a fire in his eyes, and then turned and walked away. Time went by and Eshar heard nothing of Aatrox. Until now.

Quotes:

Upon Selection:

  • There is always a place and time for a fight amongst the skilled.

Upon Movement Command:

  • To walk upon Runeterra, ah this brings back memories
  • I wonder who my next opponent will be.
  • I see this world still hasn’t fallen. Good!
  • Many I have challenged lived in this plane.

Upon Attack Command:

  • Time to learn.
  • Time to teach.
  • It will be an honor to fight.
  • Targeting Aatrox: DIE!

Upon Kill:

  • Maybe next time.

Upon Pentakill:

  • I hadn’t realized Runeterra had fallen this far behind me.

Taunts: Takes a step forward and points in that direction.

  • Generic: Towards:
    • Enemy Jax : Time to see if you can lose Jax!
    • Enemy Fiora : That’s a pretty Dull Blade, Fiora!
    • Enemy XinZhao: You're not in an Arena anymore!
    • Enemy Aatrox: You are a blight on this world!

Joke: Accidentally cuts a rift open which starts to pull him in, which he eventually closes.

  • Tis but a great skill to…(Pulled)...(Closes)... master the abilities you have.

Special:

  • Upon enemy Jax Death: Should’ve used a real weapon!
  • Upon enemy Fiora Death: Au Dépourvu, young Duelist. (Off guard, young duelist)
  • Upon enemy XinZhao Death: Your past had given me false hope.
  • Taking a Bard Magical Journey: Wow Bard you never change do you. I love it!
  • Being passed by an AurelionSol Q: A maker’s craft is a sight to behold!
  • Upon enemy Aatrox Death: Another death deserved!

If you have any suggestions any are appreciated!

Changes:

  • Fixed Ult and E to say size instead of radius.
  • Specified damage from E isn't a DoT.
  • Re-Worded Ult and passivel.
  • Added to lore

Possible Plans:

  • Change passive, maybe E & W.
  • Touch up Ult & Q, and if E or W don't completely change, them too.
  • Improve Lore More

13 Comments

Villainous10/7/2016, 12:15:01 AM5 votes

Not going to review the lore, since it's not really my forte.

First Thoughts

Despite his title, Eshar is not a duellist. Oh, sure, you've given him plenty of ways to start a fight, but you haven't actually given him anything that can let him win one. The extent of his combat abilities are as follows; a mid-power AOE DOT that gives a paltry 25% AS boost if he's standing in it + a Frozen Heart aura, and an AA reset that drops his armour and MR for a bit. And until hyper late game, both of those are on absurdly long cooldowns. Forget duelling someone like Jax; I'd be surprised if Eshar could duel a Janna. Or Nautilus. As he currently stands, Eshar's ult is basically the only thing useful about him; you ult to initiate a fight, then you let the Darius on your team mess your opponent up.

Passive - Relativity

So, back in season 1, Riot released this champion by the name of Skarner. His passive was quite similar to this (Effect was halved against non-champions, but didn't have the CDR removal). Over the course of three years, Riot basically decided that this exact effect was too difficult to balance. Since it's something you've basically done for every ability, I'll say this here; you've statted all of his abilities with literally the best possible outcome in mind. Better than that, actually, since Guinsoos is a double hit every two hits, not one. Remember that, for 90% of the game, you're going to be stuck at sub 2.0 AS. Actually, probably more than that since Eshar has no way of actually getting gold.

Q - Phase

This is a decent ability concept (assuming you ignore the numbers which are rather lacking). It isn't, however, an appropriate ability when you have nothing to back it up with; this is the kind of ability that helps glue a kit together. Decoy, Wukong's W, is the ability that comes to mind the most easily. Since it contributes no damage whatsoever, the rest of the kit needs to make up for it (unless you're a support and you're providing other stuff)...

Unless, of course, when you 'interacting with things', you include casting spells or attacking... In which case, I'm really not a fan. Yes, it's a very short duration, but its main use basically becomes 1-1.8 seconds of pseudo invulnerability

W - Focus of Energy

There's nothing strictly wrong with the passive Armour/MR generation, but the activate effect of this is mostly pointless. If you want an easy way of seeing how lacking this is, compare it to Diana's passive. Other than that, there’s not much to say, since there’s not much here.

E - Release of Energy

So, the numbers on this thing are all over the place. 750 Radius. That's nearly the size of Trundle's W (Frozen Domain). 40/70/80/90/100 damage? Is that damage per second (too high) or total damage (too low)? Why does it scale with Total AD instead of Bonus AD? Ultimately, I think this ability tries to do too much with too little gameplay; it's a damage effect, AS buff, MS buff, AS debuff and MS debuff attached to a single ground targeted zone ability. IMO, it should be more focused as an ability

R - Celestial Rift

To summarise, it creates a cage 800 units wide that ends 750 units away and grounds other units inside it (with the exception that they can use movement abilities inside the area). This is actually a fine ability, both on its own, and on what I assume is the kit you intended. That only thing that's really off is its duration, which could do to be lower at higher ranks. That said, it can’t exactly hold up a kit by itself (even if it’s possible he might be picked, just for his ult ganks)

Overview

Stripping away the numbers and fluff, Eshar has a tactical invisibility, an armour/MR buff, an AA reset, a ground targeted DOT+AS/MS Buff/Debuff and a terrain/’arena’ creation ability + grounding effect. Usually, if I was to boil a kit down like that, it’d be a heavy oversimplification, but I’m pretty sure that’s a fair summary of Eshar’s abilities. I suppose the most damning problem is that Eshar doesn’t look like a champion I could imagine many people having fun playing, and I doubt many would enjoy playing against him if he was ever buffed to a playable state. Using his Q to dodge focus briefly is the extent of his outplay potential. Aside from that, he presses R (fire and forget) -> E (also fire and forget), then spends the rest of the fight AAing. When you remove the fluff, I'd say he's legitimately a less interesting champion than Warwick.

Suggestions

Though I could probably just say ‘keep the ult, scrap the rest’, that’d probably be overly harsh. There’s plenty here that’s salvageable; it’s just the numbers that make it look like a mess.

Firstly, replace his passive with something else and adjust his cooldowns to what you intend them to be; Eshar has minimal synergy with the effect (assuming he can’t attack while Phased; if he can, then…ugh) and all it really does is make him impossible to balance for his best and worst case scenarios. Focus his E on the specific aspects you think are important. Preferably replace his W’s active. If not, think of something you can add to it to make it less dry. Try to think of how you can add more ‘play’ to his kit; something that allows him to demonstrate his skill rather than the current ‘simpler than Darius’ playstyle (preferably on his W). Rebalance the numbers on basically everything (taking into account the numbers used by current champion).

Candurill10/10/2016, 10:38:59 AM2 votes

Hey :D Saw your concept in the CCOS and thought I'd give you some feedback ^^

Right of the bat I'd like to let you know that I really like the theme you have chosen for your champion. A supernatural being that searches all dimensions for a challenge is something we have not seen yet and would make for an interesting character and story :) However...You did not quite get it right yet....I mean, you have one paragraph of lore, which is nicely written and invokes an air of mystery, but I feel like there is so much MORE there. I advise you to finish that lore before the judging starts, because the judges are know to fancy nice and informative lore's...

Then about the kit. Its very interesting :) All his abilities seem unique and empower that idea of a "duelist". Now I'm not that good with numbers myself, so I'm not gonna touch those details with a ten foot pole, but I am concerned with the passive. So he does not have cooldowns, but in stead opens up availability from fighting? Or DOES he have cooldowns, but they aren't influenced by cooldown reduction? Either way, interesting design choice, but hard to imagine with what you have written about it as of now. I find it hard to decipher just how this passive effects specific abilities and what the cooldowns even are. Theres a lot of promise here, but it needs to be explained...

And as long as we are on the subject of the writing in itself, you should really try and rewrite some of the descriptions of the abilities, since it took me at least 3 rereads before I understood what was going on in most of them (especially her ultimate....what do you mean exactly with a "crescent"). Now this MIGHT be due to english not being my native tongue....However, I believe it's thanks to you having imagined and thought of the whole idea and then trying to put it in words. It may seem very logical and clear to you, but for others (who did not go through the process of creating this champion) it might seem less clear... Now there is nothing wrong with this ofcourse, I'm very sure that you intended it to be perfectly clear, but It's still something you should keep in mind.

As a last point, I'd like to know why you added a AD scaling and an AP scaling to both his W and his E....As a duelist and seeing the rest of the kit is designed to keep an enemy close rather then dealing magic damage, I'd imagine he'd have to be built full AD to fulfill your wish for him to be a duelist...Keeping enemies close is one thing, but to win a fight, he will need damage...Maybe increase the AD scaling and drop the AP scaling, cus now it just looks like you really wanted to make a hybrid champion and added the split scaling for only that reason.

All in all, this is an interesting design :) It has some cool unique ideas and the promise of an interesting character. Do work on your descriptions and lore some more and figure out his scalings. I truly believe that this concept has a great chance of getting into the top five this month (though I have not yet seen all of the competition TBH)...

As a disclaimer, I give feedback based off of my own ideas and conceptions on the game. If anything I said conflicts with your idea of what you want for your champion, then please stick to your original idea. These concepts are our ideas and are close to our hearts, so I wouldn't want to be responsible for steering Eshar away from what you want him to be :)

Good luck in the CCOS this month ^^ Your's truly, Candurill

BowieTheNifty10/10/2016, 8:58:52 PM2 votes

So yeah even though I am not competing in the CCOS this time around, I am going to grant some feed back for you on your passive.

Lets starts with the passive. Going to tell you that it is an interesting idea. Though it makes her focus on getting attack speed and landing basic attacks to get his extremely long cool downs back. Now one thing that I know about items in league right now, cool down reduction is a popular stat. It can be found on quite a few items. So with his not being able to benefit from the stat entirely would be a bad idea. I would like to give a small tweak here. Any cool down reduction that he builds it can make it so that each basic attack will reduce the cool downs even further. You can have a base for 1 second and then every 10% CDR could increase that by an additional second. At max each hit could reduce an abilities cool down by 5.5 seconds, this includes CDR from the mastery. That way she can benefit from the stat but at the same time, it makes it so CDR doesn't effect his cool downs normally.

Ph0neS10/11/2016, 7:44:57 AM2 votes

Hello! After seeing a title like Celestial Duelist, I just had to take a look. I have some feedback for your champion and I hope you find it helpful!

This passive already makes me wince. There are many things you can have meaningful counterplay on while having it be fun, entertaining, and engaging for both parties in a fun way. For example, Caitlyn's Headshot passive. Every six autoattacks, she gets an automatic crit. If you count her attacks, you know when it's safe and when it isn't. Jhin is even more obvious about this. Eshar not only makes the reward invisibility, but makes the player of Eshar feel frustrated and ineffective if they are doing badly - and like any ordinary champion if played well, because the attack speed max is 2.5 and you will never get there if you're building anything else besides attack speed.

So, we're not off to a very good start is what I'm saying. This passive is deeply underpowered and neither fun nor useful.

The Q seems fairly innocuous, an ordinary dash that most champions have except, rather than a predictable dash, you instead gain twitch-like invisibility and ignore terrain. Where's the counterplay there? Drop a pink ward? I get what you're trying to do, but maybe just go for a conventional dash instead. I'm also going to note that the cooldown is actually a little long for something this non-threatening; Sejuani's Q, for example, is 15 seconds at rank 1 and it does a knock up and damage if she hits a champion.

Eshar's W is very... odd. The armor and mt stacking is worthless, since 15 over time is not an appreciable number by itself and to say nothing of that it's gated to melee striking. The active, which requires five auto attacks, also does utterly negligible damage for a payoff of... burning your stacks containing the tatters of armor you had. I honestly, truly, don't see the point of this, as even with hybrid scaling - already a bad idea and one that, historically, Riot has disliked due to the difficulty of balancing it - you will never do enough damage to make the W active worth it and the passive is just dead weight, unfun gating.

As far as Es go, Eshar's reminds me of Ekko's W in functionality if not for. Designate an area wherein enemies suck and you are amazing. Trundle is also good for this. Difference here is that Eshar's stacked the deck so hard Twisted Fate himself would place a hand on their shoulder and go, "It's time to stop." It does hybrid-scaling damage, decreases movement and attack speed of enemies by 15%, and increases his own by 25%, in an area of 750. You know, Ekko's W has a radius of 400 and still works pretty well. 750 is almost as wide as the entire midlane and half as long. This epic level CC shuts down entire teamfights like nothing, ruins the enemy ADC's day, and prevents escapes for the six seconds it's on. You may wish to reconsider this ability in light of your power budget and comparative analysis of contemporary champions.

I'm also going to say, tangentially, that "lack of great of escapes" is not something Eshar has. His Q is an escape. That's what it's for. Escaping. Now, bulk, heals, damage, actual sustain of any kind, these are things Eshar lacks right now and I'm not sure how you could overlook this and, on top of that, miss how his own Q is, in fact, an escape.

Finally, the ultimate. In description, it reminds me of a cross between Bard's E and Viktor's R. In practice and execution, it sounds a bit unwieldy - how can champions not exit if there's an exit behind Eshar? - but, once we ignore that, we have to look at the radius of this rift and conclude it is literally the size of a lane in width or ever so slightly less. It's also almost as long as a lane, too. And it can travel the full distance. This is the sort of ultimate Bard has wet dreams about; the ability to shut down a teamfight so effortlessly with this is frightening and mind-blowing. This isn't something a fighter should have in the first place. I'm so confused. Look at Darius, Fiora, Tryndamere, Rammus, even Ekko in terms of how to design a sustainable top laner and you'll see common themes - especially in the ultimate. It keeps them alive and/or does massive damage if done right. This is not like that and defies the theme entirely.

In conclusion, what we have here is a champion that cannot perform in top lane to any degree at all. Their passive is busted and based on an unfun mechanic that's whole reward is what other champions get normally, they have no sustainability to speak of, and their damage is absolutely abysmal. Only two - W, E - do any at all and both the bases and scaling are too low to matter. But if we are charitable and look at Eshar as a misclassified support, well, then it becomes a lot more clear. Enemies get a debuff they pretty much can't get out of or away from, enemies get shunted away from their allies with absolutely no escape whatsoever for six seconds while Eshar's team whails on the rest, and he can contribute a little and escape if anyone tries to attack him. It's horrifying. As a top laner, this could never work by being so unlike what a top laner needs. As a support, this is in some serious need of revision considering the state the kit is in right now if you'd like it to be at all balanced. How would you even beat this champion? You can't make his cooldowns even higher, Riot realizes this sort of thing isn't fun, so the only attempt at balance here is slightly longer than normal cooldowns and not having a passive in most instances. That is not enough here and, honestly, you could do a lot better.

Thank you for your contribution! I hope this helps.

AgeOfTheMage10/11/2016, 12:42:44 PM2 votes

seems like a good idea! i can't really point things out rn but i like it!

Morcyth10/13/2016, 1:21:22 PM1 votes

I can gladly say that Eshar's lore has been updated, I will admit I would appreciate any mention of holes or feedback for further improvement. It took me a little longer than I would like, but this will give Eshar's Character just a little more substance and definition in his motives. I will continue to add even after CCOS for anyone willing to pay attention.