A Corporate Matter: Episode: Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Chameleon

The comments are broken where I normally post this. So I am going to start posting here. For those unfamiliar, A Corporate Matter is a weekly story I post in the comments of the free rotation announcement. I have been doing it for a number of years now. You can view past free rotation posts to read old episodes.

#A Corporate Matter Episode: Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Chameleon

"And you no longer forced to work. Take as many vacations as you need."

"Boss, I really think you should come back to your office. I'm not so sure you're feeling alright."

"Do not worry pretty boy, I am fine. I treated people here badly, it is time I say sorry. EVERYONE GET BIGGEST RAISE!"

"WOOOOOO!!!"

"What is going on out here?"

"The boss has finally fully lost his mind. Except instead of killing us all, like I thought he would, he is giving us raises, time off, and other benefits."

"Still hasn't mentioned healthcare though?"

"First thing he said, we are getting the best healthcare on the market, it even includes dental."

"Oh my Rito, he has gone further than I ever thought he would. Is it wrong to take advantage of this situation?"

"I don't think he would hesitate if it were the other way around."

"Hey boss! What do you think about adding a cafeteria that serves free food twenty-four seven?"

"I think that is great idea. It very hard to work on empty stomache."

"What going on in here?"

"Oh uh boss, we were just getting back to- Wait, boss?"

Who this you talk to? Oh, it just Corporate Mundo. Why no one tell me he here. Wait, me is Corporate Mundo. If me be him, who him be?"

"This is all a scary dream. You need to go back to your office and wait to wake up."

"That make sense. This out of body experience again. Me hate these, since you no feel pain during it, and me love pain. Wait." "Pulls out a scalpel and stabs himself in the leg."

"Me knew it, me still feel delicious pain. So it real life and you intruder!" "Swings cleaver at the other Corporate Mundo."

"Ouch, you cut my arm."

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF RITO!"

"Oh, hi! I'm Neeko. And you are, incredibly cute when you are scared to death!"

"AHHHHHHH, MONSTER!!!!"

"Neeko not monster. Neeko is Outsider looking in, wanting to belong."

"GET OUT OF ME BUILDING!" "Swings at her again."

"You are mean, like sneaky snake. I leave you now." "Runs away."

"SECURITY!"

"You called?"

"There is thing loose in building. Catch it and dispose of it. Careful, it look like others, could be anyone, even you."

"That would explain why I walked past myself in the hallway."

"You just now questioned that?"

"Look, you see a lot of strange things when you drink mushroom juice."

"Just go catch it!"

"Can do." "Runs after Neeko."

A few minutes later:

"THERE YOU ARE!"

"Don't mind me, I'm just Yordling around. Is that what Yordles say?"

"You are trespassing, ON MY PROPERTY!"

"I like angry Yordle! STAB! STAB! TACOS! SKAAAARL!"

"Boss, we heard your call for backup."

"We knew the situation must be dire, because you never call for backup. Wait, why are there two fo you."

"There ain't two of me, you idiot! And I would never call for backup. But since you're here, help me catch that imposter."

"I did call you for help, thank you so much for coming. I'm sorry I am always so mean to you, I only do it because I care and want you to be better. Now please help me take that imposter down, I cannot do it alone."

"Tears up." "You really mean that, boss?"

"What, no. Of course I don't mean what she said. I call you an idiot because you are one. Now stop standing there like one and help me."

"I don't know what to do, I can't figure out which one is the real boss."

"Really, you have no idea which one might not be the cranky crazy mean boss that we work for."

"I know, I can ask you a personal question, one that only the real Korporate Kled could answer. But darn it, I don't know anything about you personally. If only you didn't have communication problems we wouldn't be in this mess."

"I don't have trouble communicating. Words is just treacherous bastards."

"I agree, words are tricky. Better to speak with colors, and emotion."

"WAHHH, WHAT IS THAT!?"

"Oops, guess I broke my disguise. I'm Neeko, happy to meet you."

"H-h-hi." "Nervously waves."

"You know what, I actually kinda like you."

"Really? That's great! Neeko only here because Neeko lonely and want friends."

"Too bad I only get paid if I toss this bear trap at you, tie you up and throw you outside."

"What?"

"tosses a bear trap at Neeko, ties her up and throws her outside."

"NEEKO WILL REMEMBER THIS, I WILL GROW NEW BETTER TAIL AND THEN YOU LEARN. NEEKO IS NOT A SAD TOMATO. SHE IS A STRONG TOMATO!"