Boards›Concepts & Creations

[Champion Concept] Maksine, The Darksight Maiden

Foodtank·2/10/2017, 5:57:32 PM·7 votes·772 views

Hey everyone, Foodtank here with a vision-based champion concept for the February CCOS. Enjoy!

Neighbor Review for Hunter Hearne

LORE

Descriptive

The Noxian High Command understands that power comes in many forms. It was there that a powerful Far-Seer named Maksine could put her abilities to use. Few know she even exists, and fewer still have an inkling of her origins. Anyone who meets her in person, however, can tell one thing about her for certain: she is not entirely of this world.

Lore Episode

Maksine stared out at the black Noxian night. At least, that’s what it would look like to any onlooker. In truth, she was channeling her vigils, which now dotted everything under Noxian control. “Information is power” she recalled telling the generals charged with evaluating her usefulness. “Imagine keeping tabs on the entire armies of your allies and enemies without ever dispatching a single spy.” The idea had impressed them, but now she needed to deliver. Prove that her Vigils could live up to her promise. So far, everything had gone as planned. She had been tracking Noxian raid parties throughout Valoran, and was ready to show just how much she knew about the generals’ plans. They’d be shocked, she knew, but would they be impressed? They needed to know what was going on beyond Noxus, and, unfortunately, her Vigils did no yet reach that far. “I just need more time.” She said to herself. “A luxury few Noxians have.” Said a voice behind her. She smiled; it was a rare pleasure for her to be surprised. Not that she didn’t know he was there. He had been perched on the roof for at least the past hour. What suprirsed her was that he had actually shown himself. Noxian errand-spies rarely did. Perhaps he was something else. “High Command is expecting a report, and I intend to deliver.” “The time for that has passed. Noxus is served by true strength. High Command has no use for a lonely woman with no experience in battle.” Maksine paused. Could they really have changed their minds? “I am prepared to defend myself.” A soft chuckle floated from the assassin’s lips. “The time will certainly come for that. But I did not come here to kill you.” “You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you? Killing is what you do, Talon. That is what they call you, isn’t it?” Now it was his turn to hesitate. He wasn’t really surprised she knew his name, but it was still unsettling to hear it uttered aloud. Still gazing out into the dark, Maksine spoke again, “You are the vengeful blade, one of Noxus’ greatest assets. Why would you be here if not to kill me?” She turned to face him. Talon regarded the maiden before her. Though her skin glowed a faint violet and was dotted with strange boils, she retained a certain…youthful beauty. It was the first time he had looked at her directly, and he found her apparent innocence disarming. Could she really be the key he was looking for? “As I said before, time is not a luxury we Noxians have. I did not come to kill you, but you were right to think so.” Maksine stiffened. She had seen shadows on the edges of her Vision, but Talon had occupied her attention for the past several minutes. As she looked beyond, she realized that there were several others approaching fast. “What? I—” “They have come here to kill you, as at least to try. High Command considers it a test, to see whether you truly bear strength worthy of Noxus. I thought I could arrive with enough time to get you out, but now it is too late. Goodbye, Maksine.” Talon turned to leave. Another dead end, he mused. Oh well; he never expected his search to be easy. When Maksine spoke, Talon was surprised at how calm—resolute, even—she seemed. “Go. Now. I will follow.” Talon raised an eyebrow, but there was no time to respond, if he wanted to avoid a fight himself. He darted through the window and disappeared into the night.

Brigadier General Pryce was bored. His mission was simple and uninteresting. Take a squad and do away with a reclusive had; how she had managed to make enemies with all of High Command, he didn’t know or care. Orders were orders. That didn’t ease his restlessness, though. He missed the days of Noxian raiding. The pay was far worse, but at least life was thrilling out there. Real combat, not this city policing. He hoped Noxus found a new reason to go to war, and soon. Commotion around the corner roused him from his musings. He had stayed a little behind to let his men carry out the mission. Killing one lonely defenseless woman gave him no satisfaction. But as he turned the corner, he tensed. His entire squad gathered just outside the room. As he pushed through them, he found two of his men frozen in place, a soft violet glow surrounding them. Standing before them all, blocking the doorway, was some sort of phantom, holding a long, jagged blade made of the same shadowy substance. Pryce had just enough time to look beyond the phantom to see his target: a young woman, eerily beautiful, incanting a spell of some sort that conjured a crescendo of violet around her. As he unsheathed his sword, the glow reached a climax, blinding every one of them. When they looked again, she and her phantom were gone.

Talon dropped into the corner of the marketplace. He wasn’t sure if he really believed Maksine could make it out of there alive, but if there was even a chance, he’d take it. He had been searching too long to ignore this lead. As he ducked into an alley, he was greeted by…a ghost. Or, more accurately, a shadow. Though it held what looked like a blade, it made no threatening moves, but rather beckoned him to follow. They weaved through the alleys, eventually coming to a stop, before the phantom vanished. “Why did you come to save me?” Maksine’s voice spoke from the shadows. “Don’t be dramatic.” Talon balked at the thought of being anyone’s savior. “You obviously didn’t think I could handle it myself, and you said you came to get me out.” “I was wrong, wasn’t I? I must say, I’m impressed. You may yet convince High Command of your usefulness.” “I doubt that, if anything they know now that they can’t trust me. Why did you come to me?” Talon’s voice hardened. “I’m looking for someone; your talents seem well-suited to finding things. That is all.” A soft chuckle came from the maiden. “All right, we can leave it at that. I’ve been looking for someone, too. That’s why I came here, I thought Noxus might have what I needed.” Neither said anything for a moment. Maksine was the first to break the silence. “I will help you; perhaps our searches have woven together for a reason.” “Good. Let’s go.” Maksine smirked. Ruthless and unflinching, a true soldier of Noxus. She followed her new ally out into the open streets of Noxus.

Appearance

Maksine wears a fairly simple black cowl that covers her head but leaves her arms exposed. She has no hair. She wears standard tunic and trousers, but walks around barefoot. Where her skin is exposed, it glows a faint deep violet, and boils dot her arms and legs; these glow much brighter than the rest of her, a lighter shade of violet. Her eyes are completely white, and a third eye occupies her forehead. This eye is closed normally, and opens as nearby champions are marked with Darksight.

GAMEPLAY

Stats

Health: 570 (+ 95) Health Regen: 8 (+ .8) Mana: 310 (+ 50) Mana Regen: 6 (+ 1) Attack Damage: 55 (+ 0) Ranged: 500 Attack Speed: .62 (+ 2.5%) Armor: 24 (+ 3.5) Magic Resist: 30 + 0 Movement Speed: 335

Abilities

Passive

Shadowed Innocence Maksine’s basic attacks do not count as projectiles and her base attack damage is not increased with level; she instead attacks through a void phantom, dealing 5-90 (based on level) bonus magic damage on-hit. Maksine’s stealth or control wards are automatically transformed into Dark Vigils, granting them 1 bonus health. Maksine can right click on an ally’s stealth or control ward to channel for 2 seconds, transforming the ward into a Dark Vigil. Maksine can also right-click on a live allied turret to grant it the same vision effect as a Dark Vigil without altering its health. For each second that an enemy champion is in vision of Maksine or a Dark Vigil, they acquire a stack (only Maksine and her allies can see stacks accumulate). After being outside of vision for 1 second, the stacks decay rapidly. At 8 stacks, they are marked with Darksight. Maksine’s basic attacks also add a stack. If a champion marked with Darksight is out of Maksine’s vision for 2 seconds, they revert to 0 stacks. Maksine’s attack range is increased by 250 against marked targets, and her bonus on-hit damage is doubled to 10-180 (based on level). Enemy champions do not know that they are in Maksine’s vision until they are marked with Darksight.

On Howling Abyss, poros fed snax by Maksine grant a small area of vision for her permanently.

Q: Seek Cost: 60/70/80/90/100 mana Cooldown: 10/9/8/7/6 seconds Range: 900 Maksine launches a void scout in target direction, which explodes when reaching max range or colliding with an enemy champion. The explosion deals 60/100/140/180/220 (+ 80% AP) magic damage in a small area (not-quite-teemo shroom blast), marks all affected enemy champions with Darkvision and slows them by 30/40/50/60/70%, and grants Maksine continuing vision of them for 4 seconds.

W: Scry Cost: 40 mana per second Cooldown: 8 seconds after toggling off Toggle off: Maksine’s vision radius is increased by 12/24/36/48/60% Toggle on: Maksine can see over terrain and into brush and is immune to blinds and nearsight

E: Spar Cost: 60/70/80/90/100 Mana Cooldown: 1 second; Recharge timer: 15/13/11/9 seconds (max 2 charges) Maksine’s next basic attack deals 30/35/40/45/50 (+25% AP) bonus magic damage on hit, interrupts channels and slows the target by 50%% for .7/.85/1/1.15/1.3 seconds. If the target was an enemy champion marked with Darksight, they are stunned for the duration instead; this consumes the Darksight mark. Spar does not reset Maksine’s auto-attack timer.

R: Bridgemother Cost: 125 mana Cooldown: 30 seconds Range: 1500/2000/2500

Active: Maksine channels for 2 seconds before teleporting to target Dark Vigil (enchanted turrets can also be targeted). Upon arrival, she deals 200/300/400 magic damage in a small area and gains continuing vision of all affected enemy champions for 4 seconds. Maksine may also cast this on herself to release a shockwave that deals no damage, but instantly marks every champion within her direct vision with Darksight.

Thanks for reading!

LOG 2/10/17: Maksine Posted 2/11/17: Partial lore episode added; CCOS entry confirmed 2/14/17: Passive: BridgeMother removed. Range added to Q: Seek 2/16/17: E: Spar stun no longer spreads to other champions. Ammunition system added. Knock-up reduction removed from passive. Ultimate reworked. Appearance and Gameplay stats added. 2/17/17: Lore completed. Neighbor review done and posted. Ready for judging! [slayer-pantheon-popcorn]

2 Comments

SociopathFriend2/13/2017, 7:02:29 PM3 votes

Heyo CCOS neighbor, I look for concepts that have had no reviews yet and I see you're just one such person. To work then! Traditional "This is based on my opinion" disclaimer here.

I love your Shadowed Innocence innate ability- it gives your champion a unique niche amongst supports as "the vision champion". That said- you have way too much innate power. 50% reduction for knock-ups and displacements is powerful and so are the AA's not being projectiles- but both of these are situational counters to certain champions and as such I would deem them "fair" in addition to your vision innate. Maybe not "healthy" since you're allowed to AA straight past Braum and Yasuo walls and you're given essentially free tenacity for something you're not supposed to get tenacity for- but I'd argue niche interactions like that are okay. Your vision powers are also okay because the Dark Sigils can be disabled and destroyed the same as normal wards- just a little bit harder.

However, Bridge Mother is pushing it too far. You have more than enough power invested in the innate and moving people around is not your theme, that's Bard, and Ryze's shtick, your theme is vision. I would advise you to remove this bit- the community already gets annoyed enough at champions with lines and lines of passive abilities and your innate will have way too many things at that point: Increased ward pressure plus the inherent danger of removing wards since it applies stacks 50% tenacity for displacements Enhanced recall with an AoE enhancement Two of these are pushing it as is, three is unquestionably, in my mind, too much.

Your Q seems okay but I will note you're missing the range the ability can travel- which could prove interesting one way or the other. Your W also seems okay but I'm starting to notice something odd about your champion- I will get to that further on. This is definitely a possible problem however since the enemy can't perform any counterplay to stop it. And since your E is an AA that means you can give yourself a targeted, spreadable, stun on the enemy team that even Yasuo and Braum cannot prevent. This could end up being a serious issue in terms of balance. Your E seems okay in theory since it requires the stacks to truly reach its full power but as above- a targeted, unmissable, spreading stun is the sort of thing you would expect for an ultimate- not a basic ability. Especially not one that the only counterplay is to just not let her have vision of you.

Without going into the ult quite yet- are you sure you made a Mage/Support? You do not possess waveclear abilities (A staple of Mages) and your champion relies substantially on auto-attacks (A staple of Marksmen)- it honestly comes across as more of a Marksman/Mage like Azir or Kayle rather than a Mage/Support. Your abilities benefit allies (As a Support will) but they're all very useful on your own in a solo lane. I can most definitely see a Kayle-style build focused around Nashor's for example being extremely potent on Maksine.

And now for the ultimate- the defining ability of a champion.

Passive: Maksine senses the spell casts of nearby enemy champions, revealing their locations with tremors whenever they cast a spell or ability, or expend mana.

Bear in mind, this exact sort of thing has been pointed out to be a balancing nightmare for Rek'Sai. That said- the range is incredibly important for deciding how strong this ability is and you don't have it written. The passive comes across as a little weak actually since most champions don't use abilities outside of combat. And if they do- you tend to see the ability. You also don't have the vision restriction Rek'Sai has when the tremor sense is going- you in fact have quite the opposite so I could be wrong about the 'weak' part.

Active: After a brief delay, Maksine sends a spectral projection of her sight towards target enemy champion. It can be intercepted by other enemy champions. Deals 200/300/400 (+70% AP) magic damage and grants vision of the target for 6 seconds. If the affected enemy champion performs any dashes, blinks, or teleports during that time, Maksine creates a one-time-use, one-way portal for 3 seconds that she or an allied champion can take to follow the path of travel (travel is instantaneous, counting as a blink/teleport). Only one portal can be created per target.

This however- comes out of nowhere. Under what circumstances would Maksine ever wish to teleport right alongside an enemy champion? She wouldn't- this portal would only be useful for very specific allied champions. But which champions? Mages and Marksmen won't want to take it- enemies are that way and they'd likely end up right in the middle of them. Most Supports and Fighters won't really want to go in as well since this would be essentially sending them right in the middle of the enemy. The only classes that might enjoy this are Assassins and Tanks. However- Assassins likely won't want in for the same reason as the rest of them- they'll be blown up the moment they pop out. So that leaves Tanks as the only class that will truly enjoy this ability.

But even farther yet- what champions will this ability actually affect? Most Mages and Tanks do not have dashes or blinks- and some Marksmen. Many Fighters also do not have dashes either. Supports also tend to have few mobility options. So in essence, your ability will be useful against Assassins, Tanks, and some Marksmen. But wait a moment- Assassins and Tanks both use their mobility for the same thing- going in. So jumping to them is likely to do very little as you're effectively going nowhere.

The only true use for this ability is to deliver an allied tank into an enemy that is attempting to escape with a mobility spell. It comes across as useful but it is so niche in who exactly can both be afflicted by it and even more by who can benefit from it that it comes across as very weak in my eyes. Look at the rival champions: Ryze, Kench, Bard, Kallista- their abilities to move people apply equally to everyone. Tanks might get more use out of getting closer but the basic idea of moving champions around applies to them all. If you'd like the same general ability- I would outright say you'll have to make it like Ivern and just let any champion be afflicted and jumped to once marked. To that end- I truthfully would recommend a different ultimate active. What it should be I do not truthfully know- but that would be my recommendation. Perhaps the ability to mark nearby allied champions with Dark Sigil? It would help push that Support angle and as a plus gives you more avenues to use your E. However, I have to say your E is essentially the only reason Maksine feels like she should be chosen.

The Innate- while useful- does not bring anything particularly game-changing to the table. The Q likewise is a standard damage+ slow spell. Your W is useful but mainly because it allows for an easy setup for the E. And the E is, of course, the staple reason Maksine would ever be taken- the point-and-click stun that can spread. The Ult is nice but extremely situational- too situational in fact.

You have a lore but you've marked it as incomplete. I do not want to grade an incomplete lore since it's a work in progress. From writing myself- I know it's possible for the entire thing to face drastic turns on short notice.

That said, your lore does bring across a few rather basic problems. No general, not even Noxian ones, would kill a spy just to "Test their strength". This implies a sort of complete failure to acknowledge that strength is not always physical, something Noxus doesn't do. Swain is one of the main Noxus figureheads and he's a cripple- they enjoy strength but they're well aware it's not the beginning and end of something. Talon was on the roof, for an hour, yet he was in a hurry and didn't have enough time? This just comes across as contradictory. I'm aware you wanted to make Maksine seem more observant but this is a bit of a loophole in the scenario you've presented. Talon doesn't seem the sort to wait.

I'd like to go into more detail but I'm out of time, these reviews are not short affairs. You definitely do a good job of setting up her abilities in the lore and I have no doubt you intended to add a bit about her keeping up with Talon. To which I will advise you to include their flight- and having Maksine warn him of incoming foes and demonstrating her Void Wraith thing.