The Scout's Code: The Autobiography of Teemo
Greetings friend, My name is Teemo; or if you're into titles at all, Captain Teemo. I've spent most of my life as a Special Forces operative for the Scouts of the Mothership, well most of what I can remember anyways. You see, despite the success of most of my missions, one can't help but to get conked in the head a few times during such dangerous expeditions. Now that introductions are out of the way though, I was just informed before I started writing this that I now have proper clearance and authorization from the Scouts of the Mothership to share with you some of my exploits. Words simply cannot express how delighted this makes me since there is apparently much need for various facts to be cleared up and several misconceptions of which must be laid to rest. So for anyone with an ear willing to hear the war stories of a battle hardened Yordle, these tales are for you. Please know however that some of these stories... Well, let's just say that they aren't for the faint of heart. Bear in mind however that I'm not going to give you my full life story, just the nitty-gritty details of my most famous missions, each of which for I was granted a skin in the League of Legends; fun little fact, that. Anyway, I digress, let us continue on shall we?
OPERATION: HAPPY ELF
Operation Happy Elf was one of my very first solo missions with the Scouts of the Mothership. I was sent to the coldest mountain steeps of the Freljord to assist against an invasion led by Urgot. Urgot had been venturing ever forth from his place of re-birth, Zaun, leaving nothing but carnage and wasted life in his wake and was now nearing a down-trodden village that I was to help protect. More specifically, I was to work with an individual who called this village home in order to ensure it's protection. Quite an upstanding fellow he was too, if memory serves me well, I believe his name was Braum. It was from his farmstead that he spotted the impending invasion force at the base of the mountains.
How did Braum come to receive the aid of one of Bandle City's most prestigious and elite Special Forces units you ask? Well, I can't tell you everything since this hasn't been fully declassified yet but in Bandle City there exists a special council known as the Realm Watchers Council. This council maintains a constant and vigilant watch and information gathering operation on the rest of the world beyond Bandle City. It was upon their request that aid be sent to this small mountain top village. When I arrived though I found only one individual who was expecting me, Braum. He was notified by the council about the impending invasion and to also be expecting me. It was just before Christmas that Urgot was expected to reach the village which gave Braum and I only a short 3 days to prepare for the impending carnage. Thankfully for us Urgot would only have but a handful of individuals to fight beside him since most of his followers would succumb to the harsh elements of the Freljord. Even if Urgot were all by himself though we would still need to be careful and play our cards correctly lest we fell victim to his cruelty. Having been briefed on what we were up against by the Realm Watchers Council, I knew that like myself, Urgot was a natural survivor in the midst of battle and that made him extremely dangerous when you consider his cold-blooded ferocity. We also had to be extremely careful not to cause too much commotion in order to avoid bringing any harm to the village. See, we were looking to prevent Urgot from ever reaching the village in the first place. Together Braum and I hatched a scheme to lead Urgot toward an alternate path, one that did not pass through the village and would also deter him from venturing any further into the Freljord. I was to play the bait that would lure our foe down this alternate path while Braum established what we referred to as "Avalanche Points". Our plan wasn't to kill Urgot, despite my personal beliefs on the matter; we knew someone like Urgot who had industrialized his own body in the name of survival wouldn't be so easily felled. Our soul focus was just to prevent him from reaching the village while simultaneously ensuring that he would pose no further threat to the Freljord. Though I felt killing him would have been the best and most multi-purpose solution, Braum and his principals wouldn't hear anything of the sort, though being the nice man that he is, he also refused to hold it against me that I even proposed such an idea. I think he was the real reason that the council was even concerned with his village in the first place if we're being honest, folks like him are one in a million. They can also help ensure the safety of Bandle City from the outside should they ever rise into a position to do so.
Finally the day came when we would put our careful planning into action. I made my way down the mountain side, heading directly for Urgot's position while Braum made his way to the first avalanche point. Once I finally crossed paths with our target I was somewhat surprised to find out that he had virtually no interest in me. This meant that I needed to improvise a little so I began attempting to antagonize him but that didn't seem to accomplish much at all. Finally I decided to hit him with one of my blinding darts to see how he would react to it. Pulling the dart from his neck where I'd hit him his vision faded and he began screaming out at me with threats of an agonizing death. All I had to do now was wait around until his vision came back and then I'd successfully have reeled him in for a chase. With his vision restored he did indeed begin chasing me, his threats of brutality still bellowing angrily from his throat. It wasn't long before we made it into position for Braum to initiate the first avalanche. With a mighty whack from his unbreakable shield he set loose the rolling fury of a giant, icy boulder that brought with it the might of a half-ton wave of snow that almost took me, as well as Urgot, right along with it. I was fortunate that I was quick enough to elude it, unfortunate though that Urgot too was able to escape it. His sights still locked on me however he failed to notice Braum who was already making his way to the second avalanche point where we then gave the plan another go. This time Urgot was successfully swept away by the stampeding mass of ice, snow, and rock. We were granted no time to relish the sweetness of victory however. As we watched the avalanche hurry it's way down the mountain, chains affixed with drills at their ends erupted from the barreling snow and impaled themselves into the rock of the mountain side mere feet away from me followed then by the menacing screams of a madman seeing red. I turned my gaze back onto the avalanche and for a moment I felt my heart stop. I knew Urgot was a dangerous combination of man and machine but I had not anticipated to come so close to being impaled in such an inconceivable fashion. So in shock was I that I failed to notice why the drills had missed me in the first place, it was Braum. With shield in hand he jumped in to rescue me be deflecting the course of the drills. By the time I realized what had happened Braum had me held firmly under his arm as he retreated to a contingency avalanche point, the enraged Urgot still in hot pursuit. Once we reached the point Braum set me atop his should as he hoisted his shield high into the air leaping even higher still before slamming it into the ground with a force so mighty it could even have crumbled the likes of Mount Targon. The entire mountain side then came crashing down around us and I could hear an urgency in his voice as Braum shouted at me to stay behind him as he used his shield to deflect the rushing snow. Though it only lasted mere moments, we waited for what seemed like an eternity for the turbulent snow to ease it's clamor and allow us keep watch to ensure that the threat we were fighting against was no more. We remained at the ready and in position for an entire three days before a voice intruded it's way into our heads, it was the Council and they had but one message for us, Operation Happy Elf was a success. The target had given up on the mountains and the village was safe at last. Bruam and his village invited me to stay and celebrate with them, but with the operation now at it's end, I declined. I had no business lingering here and my dearest friend, Tristana would be eagerly awaiting my return so that I could tell her of the mission over our favourite brew of Honey Mead at Chipper's Tavern, besides, Braum's village didn't have honey mead on account of being so far up the mountains and I don't drink anything else, I'd just have just brought the celebration down.
OPERATION: ASTRONAUT
This mission took place almost a year after Operation Happy Elf, about 8 months to be more precise. A child-hood friend of mine by the name Cecil B. Heimerdinger had gotten himself into some trouble over a discovery he made beyond the atmosphere of Runeterra's surface. Using a new telescope the he designed in Piltover he found that there was a large structure of unknown origin orbiting our moon. With the help of Ziggs he fashioned a means of transportation to this structure that he then planned to use to access whatever it was that he'd found. He and his team of fellow astronauts were supposed to report back with their findings upon arrival but no one had heard from any of them for over a week. Fearing the worst, Ziggs and many of the other brilliant minds of Piltover reconstructed the space faring rocket from the first trip for me to mount a rescue expedition with. Ziggs even personally took it upon himself to create a series of self-constructing stealth mines that released the same poison produced by my Noxious Deathcap Mushrooms upon making contact with non-friendly units.
As I grew nearer to the moon structure a large door opened up presenting me with what appeared to be a landing bay. Once inside, I was surprised to find that no one and nothing awaited me despite the massive door closing shut when I landed. I did however discover that my ship wasn't the only one there, Heimerdinger's ship was there as well. That confirmed that he and his crew did in fact arrive in one piece but upon closer inspection it was evident that none of it's crew remained inside of it. Not knowing what to expect I kept myself as quiet as possible, carefully regulating my own breathing even so as to avoid alerting any attentive ears that may be lurking within the corridors, I was expecting an ambush. My wits about me, I ventured deeper into the facility being wary of every corner that an ambush could be laying in wait behind. As I pressed on the halls and rooms remained quiet. There was little evidence beyond Heimerdinger's ship that there was anyone there by myself. Still I pressed on, taking note of colored signs written in some strange alien language to use as landmarks to find my way back with. As I pressed on I started to hear something echoing off in the distance, the source of which was clearly much deeper into the facility than I was. With caution I followed it's echo so as to eventually be able to ascertain it's source until finally I found myself before the entrance to some kind of lab. Before entering, I carefully laid out some of the mines that Ziggs had made for me to provide myself with a path of retreat should the need arise. Once finished I took a deep breath and braced myself for a conflict the likes of which I've never experienced before. With baited breath I reached for the door, my adrenaline pumping with anticipation as loud crashes and bangs emanated from the room on the other side of it. Before my hands could make contact with the door however it came crashing open and I had to quickly sidestep to avoid being knocked over by it. More surprising to me than the door however was Heimerdinger's excited voice. I was relieved to find that he wasn't in any danger. Apparently upon arriving at the facility they found that something was jamming their radio signals from within so they went to find the source. It then didn't take long for them to become distracted by the wealth of new knowledge and ideas before them. When I asked them if it was them that opened up the entrance to the landing bay though they advised me that it was not. Furthermore, Heimerdinger claimed that it was highly unlikely that the door was simply automatic which would mean that someone or something else was there as well that for some unknown reason welcomed all of us in. We deliberated for a time about what to do next since Heimerdinger wanted to continue exploring despite my insistence that we should return to Runeterra though I eventually gave in upon realizing that I was never going to convince him to leave.
The halls seemed endless and the rooms countless as we continued on however we eventually stumbled about a rather extravagantly designed elevator made of some kind of strange clear metal. The way it clanked against the metal of our equipment it was obvious that it wasn't glass and yet it was easily seen through as if it was. As expected, the geek squad was completely fascinated by this discovery and they spent what felt like ages carefully analyzing it and recording notes, choosing not to succumb to boredom I eventually joined in on their analysis and to be honest, I'm kind of glad that I did since they were able to speak to me about it in simple terms that I could easily understand. If they ever find a way to recreate that metal here on Runeterra it could prove very useful to many people including myself. I digress again though so let's get back to the story. After they finished analyzing their latest great discovery we boarded the elevator which automatically closed behind us before lowering us. At first all we saw were electronic messaged written in alien text flashing across a cylindrical monitor that encased the elevator, which again left my companions ecstatic with wonder and amazement, as we got lower though the monitors ceased surrounded us and a massive greenery of alien plants was revealed to us. It looked a lot like some sort of park or luxury resort. I admit to being quite fascinated by this myself, it reminded me of home but made me think of far off alien worlds both at the same time, an unusual mental experience for me to be sure. Our attention quickly switched focus however when a voice echoed out over some kind of loud speaker system. Luckily for my writing this, Heimerdinger had a recording device on him to record everything with.
"I'm sorry if I'm not using your language correctly but greetings my alien invaders... wait, that's not right... Ah here we are, visitors! Greetings my alien visitors! I hope that you're lick... lik... liking? Yeah, liking, that's the one! I hope that you're liking this place so far!"
We were all completely bewildered, well, all of us except for Heimerdinger who apparently was quite humored by the voice's struggle with our language.
The voice continued, "I was told to never open the big doors when everyone left me here but that was years ago, I counted! I've been so lonely here all by myself, I had no one but myself to talk to until today. I can't begin to tell you how happy having visitors has made me. Sorry I can't come out to meet you though. I'm very sick you see and I don't know if it's contagious to you or not. Don't worry, everywhere you've been inside here is safe since where I am in here is completely quarantined off from where you guys are. A shame this isn't a two way radio system, I'd love to be able to converse with each of you. Sorry I jammed your radios too, I needed time to try and decipher your language in order to talk to you like this though. I wanted to make sure that someone still knew I was here, that I still exist... Anyways, that's enough of that. I'm guessing the one who got here last was sent to look for the rest of you which means people are worried about you where you came from, you should go back. Once you leave your radios should be working again too. Some worker bots should be with you soon to bring you back to your ships. I need to take my medicine and go back to sleep. If the doctor's come back they'll be mad at me for all I've done now. Please come back and visit again sometime though okay? By the way, my name's Yagh!"
We waited to see if the voice would continue speaking but after a while we decided that it meant it's parting good-bye and would speak no further. I'm glad that Yagh spoke to us though, I'd likely still be stuck there trying to convince Heimerdinger that we should go home if she hadn't. I'm pretty sure that Yagh was a she anyway, I mean, that's what it sounded like after all.
Once we got back to Runeterra, Heimerdinger wasted no time at all re-acquainting himself with his lab to begin studying his newest discoveries and theory-crafting about the ones he couldn't study. Minds like his only crave one thing in life, knowledge, and he was determined to possess as much of it as possible. Unfortunately for him though, his lab studies were put on hold on account of various inquiries by both Bandle City's officials as well as those of Piltover. He did his best to avoid these distractions as he called them but to little avail. It was a good long year before he would be able to fully devote himself back to his research. Unsurprisingly he has also since vastly improved the design of his space-craft allowing him to commute to and from that place in less than half the time of the original design. Unfortunately we haven't kept in touch too well though so I don't know what's happened to Yagh or even if Heimerdinger still visits there anymore. That's the gist of the story behind Operation Astronaut though, the higher-ups kind of took over once my feet were back on solid ground.
Author's note: The above work reflects what is currently still a work in progress. I however need to get some rest now before I continue writing but I still wanted to share something of it tonight. I plan on writing up some lore for each of Teemo's skins that aren't just recolors of his base skin in his own perspective. Additionally, I am doing the stories in order of the release date of his skins. You'll also have noticed that my stories pay homage to champions with corresponding skins as well as details in their splash art. I've also made a strong effort to build around the existing lore for each involved champion. Please provide me with any feedback you have for me to improve these two stories though just don't try to dictate my creative process please. XD
I decided to do this upon realizing that Teemo has quite possible the weakest and least amount of lore out of all champions, there might be a few who yet have it worse off than he does in this department but I still found it pitiful regardless and have thus set out on an inglorious conquest to rectify this tragedy by providing for him the most elaborate lore out of all the champions, which he obviously deserves for obvious reasons. I mean, it's totally obvious isn't it? It's so obvious that it totally warrants my blatant and unnecessary over-use of the word obvious! XD
At any rate, I hope you enjoy what I've conceived so far! :D
