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Ayrina the Dancing Dervish

KumihoGoYangI··3 votes·1,488 views

Opportunity : If you wish to showcase a drawing of this character, I'm totally open to it. Have fun! I'll give credit to the artist.

Dervish : a member of a Muslim (specifically Sufi) religious order who has taken vows of poverty and austerity. Dervishes first appeared in the 12th century; they were noted for their wild or ecstatic rituals and were known as dancing, whirling, or howling dervishes according to the practice of their order.

May I present a champion concept dedicated to a Dervish, specifically "dancing and whirling".

Ayrina the Dancing Dervish Predicted role : Initiator/Support Approximate playstyle : Orianna Secondary Resource : None/Cooldown Unique Mechanic : Ribbon

Passive : Whirling Dervish

Auto-attacking or casting a spell grants a stack of Whirling Dervish (max: 5). Each stack grants +4 Armor and MR for 4 seconds. Casting a spell or attacking refreshes the duration. Max stacks enables an additional effect on her spells.

Q - Ribbon Whip Cooldown : 16/15/14/13/12

Launches an arching skill shot towards the cursor (think Diana) that attaches her ribbon to the first Champion hit. If the unit is an enemy, it deals 75 (+25 per level)(+.3 AD) it is snared after 1.5 seconds. Whirling Dervish Effect : A secondary spell appears which allows Ayrina to pull the attached unit to her over 0.5 seconds, knocking up units that collide with the snared target.

W - Devri Veled Cooldown : 6/6/6/6/6

Rapidly spins, dealing 120 (+40 per level)(+.5 AD) damage to enemies over 2 seconds in a small AOE around Ayrina. Ayrina attaches her ribbon to the closest enemy champion when activated, or the first allied or enemy champion that enters the AoE within 2 seconds. Whirling Dervish Effect : Ayrina takes 20% reduced damage from all sources for 1 (+0.25 per level) seconds.

E - Soar! Cooldown : 24/22/20/18/16

Can only be used if Ayrina's Ribbon is attached to a unit. Ayrina flings herself into the air. If the attached unit is an enemy, Ayrina deals 60 (+30 per level)(+.1 AD) damage at the height of her jump. Ayrina then lands on top of the attached unit. Whirling Dervish Effect : Ayrina instead propels herself to the opposite side of the attached unit at an equal distance from when she casts Soar.

R - Curtain Call Cooldown : 100/90/80

Channeling - Ayrina unfolds her ribbon so that it surrounds her completely with a radius equal to the length of the ribbon. After a 0.75 seconds, she pulls all enemy units in the area of effect towards her at 100 MS per second for 1 second, dealing 175 (+175 per level)(+.5 AD) over 1 second. Whirling Dervish Effect : The pull starts immediately (without the 0.75 second delay), dealing 175 damage on contact, and the duration of the pull is extended to 2 seconds.

Some synergies:

  1. To escape some situations when it's 2vX, she can Q to her ally with full Whirling Dervish stacks, Soar over, and pull the ally to her. This can create serious space between the chasing opposing team.
  2. Attach the ribbon onto a diving champion, have them initiate, then use Curtain Call to pull the entire enemy team. However, it may be difficult to engage this way with her Whirling Dervish active. However, without the passive you can then Soar and engage 2v1 on the diving champion's target.
  3. Use Ribbon Whip on your carry, and use your ult to disengage. Again, it may be difficult to have Whirling Dervish active.

The kit is balanced by the fact that it is extremely versatile and supportive in nature, but gives a challenge to manage your passive to maintain maximum efficiency. The weakest matchup for Ayrina are against wave clearing champs and poking champions who have a window of opportunity between each creep wave because her effectiveness needs time to ramp up. However, if the lane is passive, it is feasible to be constantly have your passive during laning phase. You can potentially save yourself against junglers that gank from behind by having your passive up and using Soar to jump behind them. She also has the potential to fight due to her spread out interrupts plus her defensive boost from her passive.

Thank you for reading this concept. If you need anything clarified, I will gladly answer them. Also, please let me know what you like or don't like! I hope that there is a bit of both, which means the design is good.

12 Comments

Vbunnie2 votes

actually a good concept reminds me a little of my concept I will link it here.....http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/szlzjcmK-review-please-champion-concept-earl-the-poolsharkrebootrelaunch-final-version I am willing to do review trades

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

I have given a brief review. I would appreciate a review here as well. I can revisit yours on request.

sneezing slug2 votes

Neat concept! Not half bad at all! I like the idea to it.

Mind checking my champion out?

http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/ZzT459oM-warhorse-the-foundation-of-strength

ralsei2 votes

I really like this!!! Here are some things that I think would help balance and give her a better feel in gameplay.

Q - Ribbon Whip Instead of it being snare-on-hit, it should be a snare-over-time (like Karma or LeBlanc).

Passive - Without Snare: If Q is hit again, does damage. Passive- With Snare: She will spin (dash) to the snared unit.

W - Devri Veled

I think this should be a small AoE (think the size of a dervish dress relative to the model) where she spins.

Passive- Without Snare: Reduces damage for small duration (Same as yours) Passive - With Snare: All enemies in AoE will bleed doing DoT damage

E - Soar! This one seemed a bit off to me. I feel as if it didn't fit to her character or champion (No offense!) so I will give 2 suggestions on it!

1.) When the enemy unit is attached to the ribbon, pressing E will cause DoT for as long as they are tethered. If the unit was snared by Ayrina, the E will cause her to jump to the unit.

Passive- Without snare: She will lifesteal from the attached unit. Passive - With snare: She will land behind the unit also doing small aoe damage.

2.) (--This one changes E for the most part--) Ayrina spins, giving herself a shield.

Passive- Without Snare: She will gain a speed boost Passive - With Snare: She will pull the snared unit to her, knocking up anything the unit passes through (Think J4's EQ combo).

R - Curtain Call Does large AoE damage, causes ribbons to attach to all units around her. After 1.5 seconds, all units are snared for 2 seconds.

Passive: Snare is triggered in .75 instead of .5 seconds.

(Ult can be comboed all abilities. Q will make her dash to the closest unit to her. W is the same with snare. E will have all the snared units be pulled towards her.) (Also, i think if it worked like that, if they had a thresh on the team, she can ult, snare, lantern, E, which would be a super engage.)

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

Thanks so much for reviewing in response to my request. I would just like to respond to the points you have made.

Q - My original intention was that the snare would proc after a significant delay. Thank you for reading it carefully and allowing me to fix the wording. I definitely think it is imperative that the secondary effect pulls the target to her, as that represents the "draw" effect of a dancer.

W - The way I envisioned, but failed to communicate, the W skill working is the way you have said. There will be an effective AOE around her that damage will be dealt. This was primarily her trading skill due to the precondition that all champions will be "in range" to attack her just as she can attack them with this skill.

E - This was supposed to be solely a positioning and mobility skill. However, I don't think a champion should be able to do everything, so I deliberately wanted to limit her ability to be mobile. This explains the condition that the ribbon must be attached for this skill to work. As far as the lore goes, She is not a generic dervish dancer, she has a little something special about her. That is why I gave her this very flamboyant and long ranged skill that helps her attain a level of "WOW" when combined with her ult. The knock-up is actually entirely passable but I thought it might make more sense if she flung herself into the air with tremendous force but the target is just there standing around with a ribbon attached like nothing is happening. I think I prefer my original intention of having it synergize with her ult instead of her Q because I think her Q and W already give her lane presence once she charges up her passive. Thanks for you suggestions though. If the masses like your idea much more than mine after my explanation, then I should consider changing it. Until then, I'll keep my original.

R - As a performer, you want your finale to be massively drawing. That is why I designed her ult with a massive attraction type mechanic. It looks beautiful, people are moved, it flows from her passive. I understand that you grasp the concept I'm going for, which is a follow-up initiation in team fights concept. I don't think it is fun to play against a champ that can pull you further than a screen, compared to playing the character that can traverse a screen in an instant. I don't think of Ayrina as some kind of devastating snowball champion. I think of her as someone who performs for herself in the context of making the show happen.

Thanks so much for your detailed opinions. I will re-consider the champion and I will definitely re-write some of my explanations. Please check back occasionally and give more feedback!

Vbunnie2 votes

ok the issues i see is you have two snares. I am not a big fan of two snares one can be a snare but the other should be something different perhaps an entangle for the ult? W also should not be a random champion because randomness in league means that the ability is unreliable and if there is no way to control who gets hit the e is also unreliable. Secondly this champion feels a lot like katarina with a snare. also what is the point of landing on top of the unit? The other issue is this champion also is nothing but hard cc which can be a problem. I would suggest eliminating some of the cc for perhaps more damage/poke or even some form of gap closer/stealth perhaps maybe even one that pulls you to the target and probably not on top of them either because how can they get you off unless of course you are on top of them for a short duration and untargetable???

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

Thanks, I think you bring up a lot of valid points that made me think about her design. For a fact, I will be changing some things about Ayrina.

I do not think that having two snares (call them disables) is groundbreaking. Take the average CC'er. Lux has a snare and slow. Morgana has a snare and an aoe slow into stun. Darius has a pull and a slow. Amumu, who is a great CC'er, has a stun and a massive aoe snare. I think Ayrina having the amount of CC does not set her up as a stand-out in terms of CC. However, I don't think that Ayrina necessarily is a CC maestro. Her strength is her ability to do some of everything, but not anything particularly well. Her biggest strength, and the reason I designed her is this : League currently allows Duo Ranked, and often times I feel like getting caught as one is just as strong as getting caught as two especially if the caught champion belongs in a duo queue. Ayrina can use that situation to her advantage because of her defensive flexability (see synergy #1). Also, she can use her ultimate to great effect to save her ADC due to the fact you can ribbon your allies (see synergy #3). That's enough about your CC concern, if you have more to say, I welcome your opinion.

Comparing Ayrina to Katarina seems a bit off to me. Kat's kit allows her to burst people. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Kat is all about damage and mobility. Ayrina's skills might sound similar, I guess you are referring to the W and E specifically, but they work in very different ways and for different purposes. Ayrina's W and E help her set up her ribbon on the target she wants them to land on (see the next paragraph).

I really like your suggestion to improve my W! You are absolutely correct about how randomness isn't desirable when activating skills. Due to this fact, I will change it as follows: W will now attach the ribbon to the closest enemy champion when activated, or the first champion that enters the AoE within 2 seconds.

Your next point asks about the point of landing on top of the unit, and by extension flying past them with the passive? Well, let me take you through some theoretical situations. First, by landing on top of them, it allows you to use your other skills, Q and W, to maximum effect. Since you are required to use either Q or W to activate E, you either initiate from a distance with Q E W, or you can counter initiate with W E (optional) Q. This helps you get your ribbon on your target reliably. Now, if the passive is on, it is more of a teamplay orientated skill-set. The point of E with the passive is to increase the effective range of your ultimate. If you don't need to use your abilities in a teamfight, then you can just use your Q to pull them towards you, where you benefit greatly from your passive and hopefully you can outduel with your increased defenses and W bonus.

To be consistent with the suggestions I gave you, I don't want Ayrina to be a snowball carry of doom. She also isn't required to survive teamfights. You can feel that from the kit I gave, due to the fact that she has a large CC ultimate, coupled with defensive passives and bonuses for in your face fighting. I don't want her to be played as a burst champion, because that's not how I imagined her to be. The trade-off is damage for versatility. She will kill you if she consistently lands her abilities, and she can easily amplify effectiveness of junglers due to the ability to re-position enemies.

For your final point about substituting CC with some kind of other benefit, I have to say that I'm sorry but I can't find where I made Ayrina untargetable? Her E moves her like Tristana's W. Therefore she is subject to all the same weaknesses as that, including Yasuo's ult, and any kind of knockups and surpresses. I am willing to eliminate the mini knock-up from her E, but only if I get more comments about that being an issue. Right now it's kinda 50/50 so I'll keep it in there for argument's sake.

I'd like to thank you again for all the wonderful concerns and points you brought up. Just drop me a line and I'll revisit your champion again!

Vbunnie1 votes

{quoted}

Thanks, I think you bring up a lot of valid points that made me think about her design. For a fact, I will be changing some things about Ayrina.

I do not think that having two snares (call them disables) is groundbreaking. Take the average CC'er. Lux has a snare and slow. Morgana has a snare and an aoe slow into stun. Darius has a pull and a slow. Amumu, who is a great CC'er, has a stun and a massive aoe snare. I think Ayrina having the amount of CC does not set her up as a stand-out in terms of CC. However, I don't think that Ayrina necessarily is a CC maestro. Her strength is her ability to do some of everything, but not anything particularly well. Her biggest strength, and the reason I designed her is this : League currently allows Duo Ranked, and often times I feel like getting caught as one is just as strong as getting caught as two especially if the caught champion belongs in a duo queue. Ayrina can use that situation to her advantage because of her defensive flexability (see synergy #1). Also, she can use her ultimate to great effect to save her ADC due to the fact you can ribbon your allies (see synergy #3). That's enough about your CC concern, if you have more to say, I welcome your opinion.

Comparing Ayrina to Katarina seems a bit off to me. Kat's kit allows her to burst people. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Kat is all about damage and mobility. Ayrina's skills might sound similar, I guess you are referring to the W and E specifically, but they work in very different ways and for different purposes. Ayrina's W and E help her set up her ribbon on the target she wants them to land on (see the next paragraph).

I really like your suggestion to improve my W! You are absolutely correct about how randomness isn't desirable when activating skills. Due to this fact, I will change it as follows: W will now attach the ribbon to the closest enemy champion when activated, or the first champion that enters the AoE within 2 seconds.

Your next point asks about the point of landing on top of the unit, and by extension flying past them with the passive? Well, let me take you through some theoretical situations. First, by landing on top of them, it allows you to use your other skills, Q and W, to maximum effect. Since you are required to use either Q or W to activate E, you either initiate from a distance with Q E W, or you can counter initiate with W E (optional) Q. This helps you get your ribbon on your target reliably. Now, if the passive is on, it is more of a teamplay orientated skill-set. The point of E with the passive is to increase the effective range of your ultimate. If you don't need to use your abilities in a teamfight, then you can just use your Q to pull them towards you, where you benefit greatly from your passive and hopefully you can outduel with your increased defenses and W bonus.

To be consistent with the suggestions I gave you, I don't want Ayrina to be a snowball carry of doom. She also isn't required to survive teamfights. You can feel that from the kit I gave, due to the fact that she has a large CC ultimate, coupled with defensive passives and bonuses for in your face fighting. I don't want her to be played as a burst champion, because that's not how I imagined her to be. The trade-off is damage for versatility. She will kill you if she consistently lands her abilities, and she can easily amplify effectiveness of junglers due to the ability to re-position enemies.

For your final point about substituting CC with some kind of other benefit, I have to say that I'm sorry but I can't find where I made Ayrina untargetable? Her E moves her like Tristana's W. Therefore she is subject to all the same weaknesses as that, including Yasuo's ult, and any kind of knockups and surpresses. I am willing to eliminate the mini knock-up from her E, but only if I get more comments about that being an issue. Right now it's kinda 50/50 so I'll keep it in there for argument's sake.

I'd like to thank you again for all the wonderful concerns and points you brought up. Just drop me a line and I'll revisit your champion again!

ok seems like kat for 3 reasons W:E:and R. Kat and this champion both have 2 aoe centered around target skills that deal damage they both also have similar e's/mobility skills yes I do not expect this champion to deal as much damage and the champion is basically like i stated a kat with cc instead up upfront damage. They both focus around mobility and have similar mechanics as stated previously in more detail the major difference is this champion is more reliant on cc movement and defense while Kat is more reliant on damage. Secondly I do agree that the champions are meant to probably function a lot differently and I would not expect them to be exactly the same but you have to admit they have some really similar kits. That being said the Cc brings me to my greater concern let us look as skills in detail. Q+whirling dirvish=Snare+Stun+pull because all pulls stun then pull. W:no real cc but the attatchement of the ribbon will be brought up in the next statement. E: enemy+whirling dirvish knockup and mobility. E-whirling dirvish=mobiltiy+knockup+jumping on their head..... yeah.... R+whirling dirvish=snare+a lot of damge E-whirling dirvish=stun+pull+a lot of damage. Also the Ult does too much damage+175 per level is insane.... Secondly the ult has no reason to really ever be cast with Whirling dirvish because I would much rather stun+pull instead of snare all the enemies around me who would honestly pick a snare over a pull? so about the cc you have 2 snares a knockup 2 stuns and 2 pulls in one kit yes they are conditional however they do happen.... also about the E I am not saying substitute the cc for some other benefit I just want to know how jumping on their head/body or whatever works.... that is really it give me more information... I dont want her to be a burst champion she just seems like kat again to me because of the similar kits.... other than that good champion just some of the kinks still need to be worked out...

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

Thanks for coming back to it. I will work hard on this one.

First thing on my head is when you talked about the ultimate. The Whirling Dervish passive only extends the pull duration and has the CC start immediately instead of waiting 0.75 seconds. I should reword that part. As for the damage, it is that amount over time, so the effective damage starts to pale when compared to other champions. Compare it to Galio for example. At the first level, Galio does 220 with a higher AP ratio plus 40% if well used. Orianna gets 150 damage at level 1 plus a higher AP ratio. In the late game, 175 damage is almost comparable to one attack by an ADC. In any case, I'm pretty sure the damage isn't the issue here. If it is, all that needs to be changed is a number, and I will change it.

When you mentioned the total of 5 CC's, I feel convinced that I should remove the knock-up part of E. I will do that. However, I still have more to address about the E. The reason this is balanced is because the condition limits the utility of the skill. If they engage on you from any reasonable range, you have no response other than to dodge/run away or try to land your Q. If you fail to land the Q, you literally have no counterplay until they are in reach of your W. Her Q is definitely very CC centric however it's all loaded into one skill. You can think of E as a reward for landing your skillshot, but instead of just being rewarded with huge damage (are you satisfied when you chunk but don't kill someone with Nidalee's spear?) you are rewarded with being in position for an effective ultimate.

Let's also not forget that there's a condition to activate Whirling Dervish. If you engage with skills first, they'll all be on cooldown for the fight and you won't get the maximum benefit. If you charge it up, you leave yourself open to harassment and a wise enemy will take what they can get, then clear the creep wave and do it again, which Ayrina doesn't have much say about.

The main point, and I think the issue that might have been lost in our conversation is that E is not available to be used at any time. It requires the ribbon. Which means you can't be mobile on demand. You have to set it up. I think this fact at least strongly sets her apart from Kat, who can Shunpo to creeps.

Vbunnie1 votes

{quoted}

Thanks for coming back to it. I will work hard on this one.

First thing on my head is when you talked about the ultimate. The Whirling Dervish passive only extends the pull duration and has the CC start immediately instead of waiting 0.75 seconds. I should reword that part. As for the damage, it is that amount over time, so the effective damage starts to pale when compared to other champions. Compare it to Galio for example. At the first level, Galio does 220 with a higher AP ratio plus 40% if well used. Orianna gets 150 damage at level 1 plus a higher AP ratio. In the late game, 175 damage is almost comparable to one attack by an ADC. In any case, I'm pretty sure the damage isn't the issue here. If it is, all that needs to be changed is a number, and I will change it.

When you mentioned the total of 5 CC's, I feel convinced that I should remove the knock-up part of E. I will do that. However, I still have more to address about the E. The reason this is balanced is because the condition limits the utility of the skill. If they engage on you from any reasonable range, you have no response other than to dodge/run away or try to land your Q. If you fail to land the Q, you literally have no counterplay until they are in reach of your W. Her Q is definitely very CC centric however it's all loaded into one skill. You can think of E as a reward for landing your skillshot, but instead of just being rewarded with huge damage (are you satisfied when you chunk but don't kill someone with Nidalee's spear?) you are rewarded with being in position for an effective ultimate.

Let's also not forget that there's a condition to activate Whirling Dervish. If you engage with skills first, they'll all be on cooldown for the fight and you won't get the maximum benefit. If you charge it up, you leave yourself open to harassment and a wise enemy will take what they can get, then clear the creep wave and do it again, which Ayrina doesn't have much say about.

The main point, and I think the issue that might have been lost in our conversation is that E is not available to be used at any time. It requires the ribbon. Which means you can't be mobile on demand. You have to set it up. I think this fact at least strongly sets her apart from Kat, who can Shunpo to creeps.

I know but getting a ribbon on a champ isnt that hard and yes whirling dirvish does require something to get the effect but it should not be that hard to achieve seeing as i can just do what annie players do and spam abilities until the effect becomes available....or combine spamming abilities and autoattacking for an even shorter cooldown.... still she would play like kat with cc instead of damage I would say change something about her.... just a little.. to make her different....

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

One critical difference is that Annie's stacks don't disappear over time. Without attacking, Ayrina can't sustain her passive. The charges disappear after 4 seconds and her shortest cool down is 6 seconds. Also, i should spell out the fact that you can't pull someone until you use Q with your passive up. That reduces her cc capacity a bit.

KumihoGoYangI1 votes

Changelog : 7/2/2015 - First Release of Ayrina the Dancing Dervish

7/5/2015 - Changed some wording of skills to clarify effects of Q (snare after delay) and W (AoE larger than model). (Thanks LordOontz!) Changed layout of first post (Thanks Crewx!)

7/6/2015 - Changed effect of W. Removed random attaching ribbon, added ribbon with some lasting power! (Thanks VBunnie!) Added cooldowns and concrete numbers to the skills to give a better picture of how everything works.

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