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New Champion Idea - Please give feedback

A Fizzition·4/27/2017, 11:06:20 PM·0 votes·386 views

Xert the Slaughterer

Notes: Ranged, should be played mid lane

Suggested build:

Nashor's Tooth Lich Bane Morrelonomicon Luden's Echo Rylai's Ionian Boots of Lucidity

P - Pressure Whenever an ally turret dies within 800 units of Xert, he goes into a rage, gaining 10/15/20/25/30/35/40/45/50/55/60/65/70/75/80/85/90/95 AP for 10 seconds.

Q - Slaughterer's Strike Xert shoots a long range, slow-moving bolt of energy, dealing 75/100/125/150/150 +(70% AP) and passing through creeps. (not monsters)

COOLDOWN: 5/5/5/5/5 Range: 900 Cast Time: 0.15 Width: 90 Speed: 350 Mana Cost: 50/60/65/70/80

W - Brutality

Toggle off: Xert's abilities cause him to gain a short burst of movement speed.

Mana cost: 2

Toggle on: Xert deals 50% more auto attack damage. That damage is magic damage.

Static Cooldown: 0.5 Mana Cost: 40 per auto

E - Down, Dog!

Passive: Every fifth auto attack, Xert gains 100 range and a "Crushing Blow".

Crushing Blow: Deals 10% more damage as well as giving Xert the ability to activate E - Down, Dog! for 15 seconds on the non-structure target hit.

Active: All enemies in vision that are tagged by a "Crushing Blow" are stunned and damaged for the next 0.5/1/1.5/2/2 seconds. The damage is magic damage (100/150/200/250/350 + 80% AP) happens over time giving Xert and the teammates around him a slight movement speed buff during the stun and damage.

COOLDOWN: 15/14/13/12/10

R - Marked for Death

Active: All enemies within vision and a 1000 unit radius tagged with a "Crushing Blow" are slowed for 5 seconds, gradually gaining severity, and eventually turning into a 1 second stun.

COOLDOWN: 200/150/120

4 Comments

Ithil Snek4/28/2017, 12:07:10 AM2 votes

Your champion design is very... clunky.

You need to apply some of the basics rules of the game that you don't respect to your champion.

In the first place, your passive and your R are "correct", taking apart the balance, I don't have anything to say.

Then, your Q is very weird: -First, it gains more cooldown per spell level, which kind of makes no sense, a champion is supposed to get stronger the longer the game last, here you're doing the reverse effect.

-Second, it needs some consistency, you fixed the cd at 4/4.5/5/5/5, despite not respecting what I said earlier, it doesn't have a constant progression. A spell usually gets a 9/8/7/6/5 cd, you can't just start lowering the numbers then stop them straight. Same goes for the mana, you start to have a base cost at 50 then adding +10 mana per spell level but in the middle of this you add a +5 mana per level.

Now let's talk about your W. It have a huge problem, it constantly drains mana. If you don't toggle the spell, you'll lose mana and will be able to AA without using mana but if you toggle the spell, you'll be forced to lose mana since AA is an essential action of the game. Having the choice to be forced to use mana or to be forced to use mana doesn't seem right to me.

Your E, similar to your Q needs some consistency on the mana cost and the cooldown.

Finally, you must define your champion. What is? What does he do? In this case, your champion seems to be a mage/AP Marksman. However, it seems like you simply added to him the abilities you had in mind, without thinking about a correlation between each abilities. I know your E and your R have an interaction, but the problem is that you need this interaction to use your ult and only you can create this interaction. Yasuo have to target an airborne enemy to ult him but he isn't the only one that can make enemies airborne. Your champion doesn't have an identity; Ashe is a frost archer, Yasuo is a wind samurai, Heimerdinger is an Hextech Inventor... But what is Xert, beside being a slaughterer?

If you want a tip, you should create the champion's story and its visual aspect before starting creating its abilities, or you'll block yourself.

CobaltTheMadMage4/27/2017, 11:37:35 PM1 votes

Passive: First off: you should probably scale the gains differently than 10 AP per level per turret lost; the most AP granted by a single item in the game is Viktor's Perfect Hextech Core at 180 AP (at level 18), with the runner-up being Rabadon's Deathcap at 120 (+35% total AP). Furthermore, does this bonus proc if an allied turret dies, or an enemy turret? If the former it kinda encourages an unhealthy playstyle in which he benefits from his team losing, and if the latter he could potentially be overpowered if he teams up with Ziggs and joins in turret-pushing.

Q: 400 AP + 100% AP at max level? On a basic ability? Dude, numbers like those are more what you would expect to see on low-level ultimates. Even if the idea is that it's slow enough for most champs to dodge easily (which it isn't since most champs don't reach 500 MS without boosts), that's just pushing the boundaries of what is considered acceptable numbers on champ abilities. Furthermore, why does its cooldown go up as you level it up? Cooldowns go down with level, it's costs that go up.

W: So basically he can choose between either constantly losing small amounts of mana over time or losing large amounts of mana every AA, with no real "off" option. At least he'll never be able to afford his Q.

E: Five-hit passive that gains percent bonus damage and a stack that his other abilities can activate. Active stuns target, deals damage over time, and gives nearby allies bonus MS toward them. ...for some reason this strikes me as needlessly complicated.

R: Enemies marked by his E are dealt Q damage and forcibly pulled into melee range. I would like this concept better if it were attached to a better designed kit.

Azeranth4/28/2017, 12:50:22 AM1 votes

Lacks self synergy. He doesn't do anything. No comboing, no outplay to this champ. He seems like just a collection of unrelated spells. It's like Bard 2.0 here