[Champion Concept] THE RlVER KlNG, The Overdue Apology

Hell-o!

I'm not going to type a paragraph of exposition because I don't even really know what I would say there. To put it bluntly: Sorry, y'all.

Let's dive a bit more into detail.

Firstly, to get this out of the way, there are a few things I WON'T apologize for; be patient, the part where I list everything wrong with my approach is coming, the one I'm sure you're more interested in reading. I still hold that there are certain concepts that are of higher quality than others, and that many who post here have a lot to learn if they want to get better, and that there should be more ways to do so outside of a monthly contest and reviews at senior members' discretion. I still hold that there is a patent abuse of the upvote/downvote system in some cases, and that many of these abuses have been leveled against me as a form of bullying. I think that these abuses are bad for the community, and I hope that this thread can help bring an end to them, at least for the latter. I think that there has been a double standard leveled against me in that I have been insulted and degraded for simply growing frustrated over this form of bullying, and that when I speak out against it I am maligned. I think that charges of arrogance and rudeness have been exaggerated to undue degrees.

#However

After the long argument I had with Bobo113 the other day I went back and looked through my comment history. Waaaaay back. Hours of reading, lots of archived concepts I revisited. And I began to see patterns.

Namely, a me vs. you thematic. Only a Sith deals in absolutes.. I like Darth Maul as much as the next guy, but I am not a Sith Lord (or our 43rd President) and I do not want to be. However, I think over time I have become the very thing I swore to destroy. If you [insertgerundformofareverberatingnoisehere] didn't 'stand with me' so to speak, then you were an enabler. While everything I said above still stands, there was definitely a problem there, and I hope to cease ever using that rhetoric again. It's not good for debate and not good for improving one's self image.

Secondly, in how I critique champions, which is far and few in between. I do not think I always review in this way; for example, I reread my reviews for Oracle, and I think that is a very good review. I looked at my judgings for the CCCOS I hosted and found few differences with Echoing's comments. I looked at my reviews for Imoen and Charon and found reviews that countered the perception that is held of me: that I degrade concepts and don't provide ideas to improve upon; quite the contrary. I kept a friendly attitude and offered suggestions whilst also outlining what I felt was wrong.

I do admit to also brain-dumping reviews and not really caring how abrasive it comes out; that is definitely a problem. I do admit to overreacting about tiny mistakes on champions I don't even need to bother worrying about in the first place. I am a perfectionist (if my champion formatting doesn't make that clear) and so when I see the incorrect number of scalings or incorrectly proportioned ones, that strikes a nerve, as does any other perceived slight or mishap. In conjunction with my carelessness and/or other faults, that can create reviews and interactions that come across as rude or insensitive. I admit to creating rifts between posters and newcomers, as well as name-dropping in places where it may not be appropriate or fair to the person in question. I realize that this is just another subboard for some video game, and that not everything has to be perfect. I hold myself to a high standard and always have, and I am guilty of trying to impose the same standards on everyone else. I do not have a superiority complex, and I resent being labeled as such, but I most certainly am a vain perfectionist.

A little story for you all. I believe Echoing already knows this, but essentially what it boils down to is that in my spare time I am actually a moderator on a forum for a MOBA called Vainglory for mobile and tablets; it's actually very fun and I reccomment downloading it. I have been for years and I like to think that my experiences there have changed my life for the better. I am a passionate writer for the canon they have over there in the world of VG and I've over my few years time on the forum rose as the preeminent loremaster and writer - think of me like the Sharjo of Vainglory. Because of this I became a moderator and still am. The way the forum works is a little more different than the boards - instead of an upvote/downvote system there is a ratings system - you can label posts and threads wtih a 'like' or an 'agree' or a 'funny' and so on and so forth. As moderators one of our most important jobs is stopping and banning users who abuse this system by ratings bullying other users - spamming the 'funny' rating on serious posts and so forth. We take this very seriously. Last year we suffered a DDOS attack from a former troll which rendered us unable to identify smurf and alternate accounts, which makes locking down trolls through IP identification and their subsequent returns all the harder. In an odd twist of fate I've had some of the same problems over there as here - I would write harsh reviews for other writers, treat fanfic writers as inferior, use my position to try and push for writing guidelines and divisions; I even had a writer's guild with some contemporaries that in hindsight was pretty elitist. I could write a whole post about my history and experience with the VG forums but I hope that helps to illuminate why I hate alternate accounts and why I think they are bad for a healthy board system. I'm ready to drop my accusations (maybe not suspicions), but I hope that helps explain why I feel this way.

I would like to start on a fresh foot with those of you who end up reading this thread. Whoever you are, wherever you are. If you want to hear it again, I am sorry. I realize that for some of you, none of this will sound sincere through the screen; and I'm sorry for that too. I will make a devoted and conscious effort to put my 100% into reviews. I will put into the community what I expect in return.

I love making champions; I love writing. I like coming up with new ideas and translating them into cool looking spell iconographics I make on Google Docs. I like typing up impossibly long quotes sections no one bothers to read. I like entering CCOS's and reading what Echoing and x mystery judge has to say by the end of the month. I actually like interacting with a lot of my contemporaries here.

I don't like being compared to regonas day in and day out. I don't like working hard on my champions, downvoted excessively, and then told to suck it up. I don't like being passive-agressively being made fun of on other threads and be afraid to respond, and I don't like feeling ganged up on. I don't like being called a bully, and even more importantly, I don't like acting like one.

So there's my brain dump. I'll have a champion up probably this weekend, and I'll enter her in the April CCOS. I'll probably write a review or two and not check the thread unless someone comments. In the mean time, best of luck to anyone reading this in the middle of a concept.

Stay frosty, I guess.