A Corporate Matter Season 9 Episode 3

#A Corporate Matter Episode: Little Big Paper

"What's going on, where am I?"

"Runeterra. Or as the rest of the omniverse call it, the orb of dreamers."

"Haha, what? There is no way the rest of existence gave us a name that positive."

"The occupants of which spend so much time asleep and dreaming. Their vast imaginations humming away, charged with creative energy."

"Buddy, what are you smoking? That doesn't even come close to describing the hellhole that is Runeterra."

"Where does it all go? Up, through a Cerebrum-bilical cord. Where it collects and melds, with all the other dreamer's energy."

"A cerebrum what? I don't think that's a word. Also, I'm starting the get the feeling you aren't listening to me."

"And something wonderful happens, it forms a world. An ethereal dreamscape of adventure and possibilities. An abstract plain of beautiful wonderment just waiting to be explored."

"Oh I can assure you, anything born from the screwed up minds of Runeterra's inhabitants is anything but wonderful."

"And you can go there now."

"Wait, what? No, I wanna go anywhere but there. HELP, HELP!" "Blacks out."

---

"I don't know Willump, let's poke it with a stick and see." "Pokes."

"AHHH!"

"Backs away quickly." "Nope, definitely not dead." "Willump roars at Corporate Gnar."

"I'M SORRY, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!!!!"

"Back away Willump, I think he's a friend."

"Yes yes, I am a friend. Wait, you aren't one of those people who eat their friends, are you?"

"No no, I eat normal things. And Willump only eats his enemies and scary monsters."

"Now that that's cleared up, where am I?"

"You are on Paper Planet! It's a whole world created by me and my dad. Everything is made of paper. Except for you, me and my dad."

"So, why am I here.?"

"I wanted to know the same thing. Why are you here? How did you get here? Wait, I think I know. You're here to save all of Paper Planet! It's just like in the fairytales. A traveler from a distant land comes and saves everyone."

"What? No, I am not saving anyone. I don't even wanna be here. Why does everyone think I've come to save them, do I look like the ideal hero to you?"

"Willump mumbles something." "What's a trope?"

"Look, I don't care about you, or your Paper Planet. I just want to get back to where I came from. How do I do that?"

I think my dad made something that lets him visit other worlds."

"Great, where is he?"

"He's locked up in that giant paper castle there. One of his creations turned on him and took him there. I was working on a plan to save him when I found you. If we don't save him soon, all of Paper Planet will fall apart."

"FOR THE LOVE OF RITO, WHY!?!?!?!? Fine, let's save your dad so I can go home."

"Yay! Follow me, I'll show you how we're going to do it."

Meanwhile:

"I mean, I guess in retrospect I should have expected one of you to turn on me. I mean, it happens in almost all the stories."

"I didn't have a choice. You are going to be the death of Paper Planet. It's falling apart, you and I have both seen it. It can't handle meatbags like yourself living here."

"Yes, everything here is falling apart. But you're wrong about why. I made a mistake when I made this place, I didn't account for how big it would become. I can fix it, but you have to let me go."

"Let you go, so you can destroy everything even faster? I don't think so. Tell me where you've hidden the book of creation, so I can get rid of you and fix everything."

I see that trying to reason with you is pointless. Your mind is falling apart, just like the rest of this place."

"No matter, my birds will find the book. And when they do, I will have no more need for you or your son."

Meanwhile:

"So your whole elaborate plan is to take this giant paperball and roll it into the side of the castle."

"Yep, it's foolproof."

"And, assuming this works and we actually get into the castle, what do we do then?"

"Figure it out as we go along. The coolest heroes never have a complete plan."

"Well, it's not like I have a better idea. ROLL THE BALL!!!"

"IT'S WORKING, IT'S, GETTING EVEN BIGGER! WE'RE LOSING CONTROL!!!!" "The giant paperball crashes into the castle creating a giant hole in its side."

"WE DID IT! NOW WE CAN SAVE MY-"

The hole begins to grow bigger. The whole castle begins to rumble, pieces of paper flying off of it everywhere.

"IT'S COMING DOWN, RUN!"

"WILLUMP, GET US OUT OF HERE!" "They run away from the castle as it comes crumbling down."

"Well, that wasn't fun. Nunu, did you do this?"

"I was trying to save you. I didn't mean to bring down the whole thing."

"It's not your fault, everything is falling apart. You did good. Who's your friend?"

"It's a strange traveler from a distant land. He's here to help save us. Just like in your stories."

"It would seem so. I'm Papercrafter Viktor. Nunu's father. Nice to meet you."

"Your father is Viktor?"

"Well, he's adopted. I found him alone when he was just a baby. I created this world so he would have endless exploration and limitless possibilities for his imagination."

"Alright, I don't need your whole life story. I was told you had a way to get me back to Runterra?"

"Ah yes, the Orb of Dreamers. One of the most amazing places in the Omniverse. Simply wear these shoes and think about your home and they will take you there."

"Really?"

"What, we love good stories here."

"Digs herself out of a pile of paper." "I AM GOING TO KILL ALL YOU MEATBAGS!!!!"

"What's that, it sounds really mad."

"PAPER STORM!!!"

"AHHHHH! WHY DO PAPER CUTS HURT SO MUCH!!!!"

"Anivia, please. I can fix all of this. Listen to reason!"

"STOP!" "Throws Phonerang at Papercraft Anivia."

"I don't feel so good." "Falls apart into various pieces of paper. Leaving behind only an origami phoenix egg."

"You, you killed her."

"No, she's not dead. The Papercrafts cannot truly die as long as Paper world remains. Now that this is over. Here are the shoes. You can go home. I have work to do."

"Finally." "Puts the shoes on, closes eyes and thinks of home."

"Whoosh!"