Couch Potato Twisted Fate

Would look somewhat like this, with the hat and all, with a bag of chips by his side in his arm or something:

https://38.media.tumblr.com/4dcd631d64d28b1185fd92b29add5f15/tumblr_mqplz8JaDz1ry9p6to1_500.gif

Movement

I've got 10 minutes til my show comes on.

(Past the ten minute mark) Darn it, I'm missing my show.

I hope I recorded the latest episode.

I don't have enough dip for my chips...

If I open another jar, I'll too much dip...

I think there's a penny between the cushions.

Hoo boy, I'm outta shape.

Attacking

Now THIS I won't procrastinate on.

I could be doing other things, now that I think about it.

(Twisted Fate burps.)

I don't think the milk's expired...is it?

I'm not messy, I just choose not to organize.

Yellow Card, which is a regular potato chip

Ah, the old fashioned chip.

Lightly salted.

Don't be salty if this hits you.

(Crunching noises can be heard, as Twisted fate is eating one)

Red Card, which is like a Dorito or a cheesy chip

I could make a cheesy pun right now.

I'll have to lick my fingers after I throw this.

Cheese Louise, this looks good.

(Crunching noises can be heard, but sounding different from the gold card one)

Blue Card, which are those weird colored blue corn chips

Glad I'm getting rid of this one.

Woah, this is quite a bag pull.

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

(Crunching noises, however Twisted Fate is groaning, as he dislikes the taste)

Using Ultimate, Twisted Fate searches the ground on his knees.

Now where did I place that remote...

Darn it, how am I gonna change the channel now?

Arriving at destination with ultimate

Found it.

Time to kiss commercial breaks goodbye.

Joke, where Twisted Fate drops a chip and snags it back.

5 second rule!

Nobody's watching, right?

Taunt, where Twisted Fate is talking with his mouth full after taking a handful

If you double dip I'll mmhphmhm...

Television told me that the secret of life is mmmphsph....

Death

I'm gonna...miss my marathon...

Please do not try at home...