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Jezzibell: The Outlaw

MissxMurder·10/7/2014, 3:51:17 PM·3 votes·1,248 views

Renamed - Jezibelle: The Electro-cutioner

Don't let her sweet looks fool you, this whip-totin' mistress knows how to put down some heat. Her dual whips will leave more than just a mark on your memory.

Base Stats:

Health: 450 (+85 per level) Mana: 220 (+40 per level) Attack Damage: 54.5 (+3.2 per level) Attack Speed: 0.675 (+3.5% per level) Movement Speed: 350 Health Regen: 7.5 (+0.95 per level) Mana Regen: 6.75 (+0.5 per level) Armor: 21 (+4.5 per level) Magic Resist: 30 (+1.55 per level)

Abilities:

Passive: Shock Therapy! ~Crowd control effects that successfully hit Jezibelle refund 5% of her maximum health and mana.

Q: Whip! Crack! (assisted by The Djinn) Cost: 50 Mana Range: 250 Cooldown: 13/11/9/7/5 Seconds

~Jezibelle resets her auto-attack timer and gains 150 range on her next auto-attack, which deals bonus 15/25/35/45/55 physical damage. If this attack strikes an enemy champion she gains a shield for 10% of her maximum health. The shield lasts for 1.5 seconds, or until depleted.

W: Electro Lash (assisted by The Djinn) Cost: 35/40/45/50/55 Mana Range: 250 Cooldown: 9 seconds

~Passive: Jezibelle sends a surge of electricity through her whips, causing them to sear into her target's flesh. Every third auto-attack against a target inflicts Grievous Wounds for 3 seconds and causes the target to bleed for 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10% of their maximum health in magic damage over 3 seconds. This bleed does not stack, although additional applications will extend the duration of the bleed (the rate of damage stays the same).

~Active: Jezibelle spins her whips around her, dealing 20/25/30/35/40 (+5% Jezibelle's maximum health) magic damage to enemies within 275 range, applying a stack of Electro Lash and slowing them by 99% for .1 seconds.

E: Lash & Grab (assisted by The Djinn) Cost: 65 Mana, Second cast: No Cost Range: 500 Cooldown: 15 / 14 / 13 / 12 / 11 seconds after initial cast.

~Jezibelle strikes out with her whip, dealing 30/40/50/60/70 (+120 total AD) physical damage to and slowing all targets in a line by 25% for 2 seconds and marking the first enemy champion struck. For the next 3 seconds she may re-cast this ability. If the second cast hits a target marked by Lash & Grab, that enemy is pulled to Jezibelle's location and stunned for .75 seconds.

R: Chains of Lightning! Cost: 100 Mana Range: 300 Cooldown: 120/100/80 seconds

~Jezibelle charges her whips and lashes out to the nearest enemy champion and wraps them in electric currents dealing 100/150/200 magic damage (+20% of Jezibelle's maximum HP) that channels to 3 nearby enemy champions for 75% of initial damage dealt for 3 seconds (25% of damage per second enemies remain in range). Enemies caught in the currents for more than 1.5 seconds are rooted for 2 seconds.

Jezzibelle is a top lane, melee bruiser

Build Suggestion: item 3111 item 3078 item 3083 item 3068 item 3116 item 3151

Summoner Spells: summoner 4 summoner 14 or summoner 4summoner 12

14 Comments

xMissxMurderx10/7/2014, 3:55:19 PM2 votes

Yay! Dah finally got 'em up! This champ looks pretty cool, I can't wait to see the artwork you have in mind :D

MissxMurder10/7/2014, 4:01:15 PM1 votes

It will probably be a bit cliche but the intent is to mix a sexy cowgirl with a bandit. Definitely open to suggestions and ideas :3

filimon mondialu10/7/2014, 4:42:08 PM1 votes

its shit

ModThe Djinn10/7/2014, 5:20:34 PM1 votes

Hm.

I'm assuming she's supposed to be a melee champion (since Sunfire is recommended), but the whips make me unsure: what sort of auto-attack range are we looking at here?

Her passive feels appropriate for a carry who wants a lot of gold (Draven, Twisted Fate), but less so for a Bruiser. I'm actually not seeing any uniquely Bruiser mechanics on her save for her E, actually.

The Q is fairly vanilla, and a 10% slow is so low as to be almost negligible. You should also specify if it's targeted or not, as well as an approximation of the cooldown and cost: it's really hard to judge without that information.

The W is okay, but rather unexciting. It's an execution move on a bruiser with no real way (it appears) to deal the damage necessary to actually give the ability solid impact.

The E is fine, although if the character is ranged it might feel slightly out of place: unless you actually have a good reason to have your opponent end up next to you it's strange to pull them closer.

The R is also probably fine, but the damage (60 per second) seems incredibly low, and the shield is actually pretty useless: there's no CC attached to the ultimate, it can't be interrupted once started, and it doesn't deal a lot of damage, so there's nothing encouraging your enemy to attack you instead of just gibbing your more vulnerable teammates.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I'm not really getting a cohesive theme here. I see that she's supposed to be a cowgirl, but I'm not seeing what she's supposed to bring to the table that other characters don't. Figure out what makes her unique and emphasize it. A few examples (as she looks like a top laner):

  • Darius brings some of the best 1v1 dueling in the entire game, although he's vulnerable to harass.
  • Nasus brings infinite scaling and immense damage on a tanky character at the expense of a weak early game and a need to have a safe lane.
  • Renekton brings a powerful early game, constant harass, and free sustain at the expense of a weak late game and the need to push the lane and/or dive at the enemy to deal damage.

Jezzibell, on the other hand, doesn't really seem to have her own little niche. Her abilities don't feel like they combo well together, nor do they really point her in a unified direction. I'd work on figuring out what she does, and then pushing her further in that direction.

FINAL THOUGHT: If you're going to spell "Jezebel" incorrectly on purpose, at least go with Jezibelle or Jezebelle. Jezzibell looks...silly. At least to me.

ModThe Djinn10/7/2014, 5:37:14 PM1 votes

You still need to show approximate values for scaling, cooldowns, and costs though.

50% slow is one thing on an ability with a 12 second cooldown, but quite another on an ability with a 4 second cooldown, for example. You also haven't said if the Q is targeted or a skillshot yet. This information is important stuff. SEEMS like a skillshot, but could also be a targeted ability with minor AoE around it. What's the range? What's the cooldown? How does the damage/slow scale over the course of the five ability levels?

I'd really like to be able to give you some serious analysis, but until I can see how the kit functions (which involves a rough idea of the damage, ratios, cooldowns, and costs) I really can't dig into it and offer suggestions.

Also, if she DOES have a longer range...how much longer? Melee range is typically 125-175 units, while Thresh is 450 and most other ranged characters are between 500 and 575.

MadDoughnutz10/7/2014, 5:57:12 PM1 votes

The idea is already taken in the forms of Graves and Miss Fortune's Cowgirl skin. There's no need for this champ's identity.

The abilties also can't be judged well since there's no cooldown, ratios, range, cost, or scaling listed at all.

Either way, they look awkward just reading them. There's no real synergy between abilities. And a sexy cowgirl/bandit does not fit a bruiser's identity, imo. Sounds more like an ADC(Graves and MF, anyone?)

Just a badly thought out idea, overall.

ModThe Djinn10/7/2014, 6:46:08 PM1 votes

There's definitely room for a whip-slinging cowgirl, MadDoughnutz. You just have to figure out a solid place for her in the game.

For example: Graves is already the outlaw, so let's strip that title off of Jezebelle (as I'll call her). We want a bruiser sort of character, so I'll keep the cow-girl attitude but make her a bit more [[Whiplash]](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiplash_(comics) inspired: we'll tech her up a bit and make her a badass Piltover showgirl, tearing her way through Valoran and mixing it up with the likes of Graves and Twisted Fate. This gives us the ability to have our standard slim & pretty cowgirl, but also use the tech elements to show that she's not actually as vulnerable as Miss Fortune or LeBlanc. Remember: League likes to show us that Bruisers are bigger and bulkier when possible.

So let's say some light to moderate Piltover armor (less than Vi is wearing), and maybe two high-tech whips.

Here's some suggestions for such a kit:

Attack Range: Around 250-300 units. Would still count as melee for abilities.

[Q] Whipcrack! Jesebelle resets her auto-attack timer and gains 150 range on her next auto-attack, which deals bonus physical damage. If this attack strikes an enemy champion she gains a shield for 10% of her maximum health. The shield lasts for 1.5 seconds, or until depleted.

Bonus Damage: 15 / 25 / 35 / 45 / 55 physical damage.

Cooldown: 13 / 11 / 9 / 7 / 5 seconds.

A solid harass tool that fits well into her W mechanic, it allows Jezebelle to hit a fleeing target or brawl it up in a fight without giving her a ton of protection if she has to use it to last-hit a target.

[W] Electro Lash Passive: Jezebelle sends a surge of electricity through her whips, causing them to sear into her target's flesh. Every third auto-attack against a target inflicts Grevious Wounds for 3 seconds and causes the target to bleed for 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10% of their maximum health in magic damage over 3 seconds. This bleed does not stack, although additional applications will extend the duration of the bleed (the rate of damage stays the same).

Active: Jezebelle spins her whips around her head, dealing X (+X% Jezebelle's maximum health) magic damage to enemies within 275 range, applying a stack of Electro Lash and slowing them by 99% for .1 seconds.

Cooldown: 9 seconds.

Basing this off of maximum instead of missing allows Jezebelle to fight other Bruisers and tanks, which is important when brawling on the front line. The Grevious Wounds also lets her really trade favorably in lane...provided she can utilize her other abilities to land those important three attacks.

The active effect gives her some very minor close-range CC to help her stick to enemies while not providing a huge spike in her power.

[E] Lash & Grab Jezebelle strikes out with her whip, dealing X (+X total AD) physical damage to and slowing all targets in a line by 25% for 2 seconds and marking the first enemy champion struck. For the next 3 seconds she may re-cast this ability. If the second cast hits a target marked by Lash & Grab, that enemy is pulled to Jezebelle's location and stunned for .75 seconds.

Cooldown: 15 / 14 / 13 / 12 / 11 seconds after initial cast.

This gives us a nice multi-use ability with some really solid counterplay. You have a lot of CC potential, but you have to be able to strike a target twice in order to get it off, and you're limited to grabbing front-line opponents. The slow helps the ability land reliably, but mobility skills or summoner spells can still let targets escape this deadly one-two maneuver.

Not really sure of an ultimate or passive yet, but I think this would be a really solid CDR/Bruiser kit based on whips.

MissxMurder10/8/2014, 2:38:13 AM1 votes

Too bad I can't change the title of the thread *sigh

ModThe Djinn10/8/2014, 3:36:55 AM1 votes

Few things...firstly, mind putting a credit to me somewhere if you're going to completely lift my abilities? Thanks in advance.

Secondly, you've REALLY upped the cooldown of the Q I suggested and, by doing so, completely removed the intended use as your sustained damage + tankiness bruiser ability. There's a reason the cooldown drops all the way down to 5 seconds (although the shield may need to be weakened...10% is a lot on a 5 second cooldown).

Finally, both the passive and ultimate you added are way to strong. The passive gives free unlimited sustain to a character who doesn't need it (as she can engage a fight well and her Q keeps her healthy in battle...by giving her a sustain passive you're basically removing all possible counterplay to her laning phase), and her Ultimate deals WAY to much damage. 50% of maximum HP is probably something like 1600 at minimum.

MissxMurder10/8/2014, 4:14:29 AM1 votes

I revised again, she seems to be turning into a respectable fighter with plenty of engage/disengage.