The Juggernaut Club: Part 17

EbonyBladeJ88··3 votes·690 views

Leblanc wakes up from being blasted by Aurelion Sol's Ult to find herself among the dunes of Shurima. Slowly, she gets up.

Leblanc : Oww... well, that put an end to my deceiving for the time being. Grunts as she steps forward Best make tracks for home.

Using her staff as a steadying stick, she begins walking in the direction of Noxus.

On the edge of the desert bordering Targon, Garen walks onto the sands. He wipes some sweat off his brow.

Garen : Man, it's hot! Though, what am I saying, it's a desert, of COURSE it's hot.

A little ways in, near the entrance to some ruins that he takes cover in from the heat, he sees a figure approaching him. But due to the blowing sands and other deterrents, he's unable to tell quite who it is. But as they come close, their visage becomes clearer...

Renekton : Well, skin me alive and give me as a purse to Sivir! What's the Justice-man doing all the way out here in Shurima?

Renekton puts a hand on Garen's shoulder like he were greeting an old friend. Garen lightly pushes the hand off as Renekton looks around him.

Renekton : Hey, where's everyone else?

Garen : What do you mean, everyone else?

Renekton : The other Juggernaut Club members. You're part of the club, right?

Garen : Chief-of-staff. (Under his breath) Formerly...

Renekton : So, yeah, where's everyone else?

Garen : In Noxus.

Renekton snaps his fingers in disappointment.

Renekton : Oh man! Then Nasus is there too, right?

Garen : Yup.

Renekton : Gahh! Xerath was telling me my fortune and said I'd beat him hard if I fought him today!

Garen : You believe in fortune-telling? And you have Xerath do it for you?

Renekton : Hey, centuries of being sealed away can get REAL BORING. New interests and hobbies are a must!

Garen : Is that how the two of you spent the "Countless Millennia" that Nasus told us about, doing things like "New interests and hobbies"?

Renekton : Hey, I learned ventriloquism during it, watch!

Renekton pulls out his Crescent Axe/curved blade-weapon. He begins to manipulate the grip and blade, trying to make it look like it were a talking mouth.

Renekton (Falsetto): Hey there, Mr. Justice Man! I'm Curvy Kirby, the Butcher of the Sands' best buddy ever!

Renekton nuzzles the weapon before going back to his "ventriloquism".

Renekton : You sure are, Kirby!

Renekton (Falsetto): We sure have had some good times together, Renek and me. Spending centuries fighting an ethereal being with a god-complex inside a tiny tomb. It's great! And right now we're seeking revenge on Nasus for betraying us!

Garen : That's not how the story goes on HIS end... He said that you TOLD him to seal you in there with Xerath to prevent him from destroying everything.

Renekton exhales sharply for a second before seemingly regaining his composure. After a moment or two, he resumes speaking.

Renekton (Falsetto): WHO WAS THERE, JUSTICE-MAN!? NOT YOU! YOUR ANCESTORS WEREN'T EVEN AROUND, DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT KIRBY! KIRBY KNOWS HOW DA STORY GOES, HE WAS THERE!

Renekton : Now Kirby, you're getting a little worked up...

Renekton's tone of voice is growing angrier, showing HE was the one getting worked up.

Renekton (Falsetto): KIRBY IS NOT GETTING WORKED UP, HE JUST WILL NOT TOLERATE GETTING DISSED BY DUMB DEMACIANS!

Garen : I don't have time for this. I need to get back before Darius tries to instate a new "Chief-of-Staff". Who knows if he still recalls what happened last time...

_ His right eye twitches involuntarily as Garen remembers the event. He then tries to move forward, but Renekton gets in his way, flourishing his weapon._

Renekton : Alright, Justice-man, NO-ONE DISRESPECTS KIRBY!

Renekton charges at Garen, who dodges.

Because Garen dodged, Renekton smacks into the wall, which causes the already-unsteady ruins to start to shake and crumble.

Garen : Oh boy.

Garen runs out, just in time to avoid it collapsing on his head. When the dust settles, Renekton's head is poking out of the top of the rubble, dazed. A female voice then speaks from behind Garen.

Unknown Female: Well, well, well...

Garen quickly turns around to face them.

In Ionia, the Juggernaut Club members have calmed down enough for Syndra to finish her explanation.

Syndra : Look, it's like this... Most the people in Ionia are a little... touched. Having been stuck on peace and harmony so long and then getting a sudden burst of violence kind of... messes with one's head when...

She takes a mocking meditation pose

Syndra (Falsetto): Through balance we will always have peace! _ She Scoffs while returning to a normal standing pose as she floats in the air_

Syndra : ...Has been the only accepted idea in society. So they were essentially a time-bomb and the first invasion set it off. Now with you coming here, we've had a fallout secondary version.

She chuckles to herself.

Syndra : Though really, it was never a matter of if, only when.

Darius : So, why haven't you guys gone nuts?

Syndra : Hmm? Oh! We're among the few people who've NOT swallowed down that crock they've been trying to shove in us for all our lives!

Trundle : Then why's Zed hunting Jhin?

Zed teleports back into the room via his Living Shadow, with a comically beaten Kayn.

Zed : Because Jhin is one of the OTHER few NON-INSANE Ionians. Speaking of, he's probably gonna need some bodyguarding now that the people are haywire. So if you guys aren't too busy...

Syndra smiles sheepishly at the club members, and Zed is presumably doing the same despite wearing a mask. The Juggernaut Club members groan.

Zed : What?

Walking through the streets of an unnamed village of Ionia is Jhin.

Jhin : Where'd everyone go? The streets are empty, and this is BEFORE I've made anyone beautiful!

In the Shadows, 3 pairs of eyes watch Jhin as he walks along.

To Be Continued...

12 Comments

LostFr0st1 votes

Renekton : Well, skin me alive and give me as a purse to Sivir! What's the Justice-man doing all the way out here in Shurima?

LOLOLOL Renek's lines had me rolling. He's more than a few Fruitloops short of a full bowl. XD

Syndra (Falsetto): Through balance we will always have peace! She Scoffs while returning to a normal standing pose as she floats in the air

O.o ? She's mocking Shen isn't she.

Trundle Then why's Zed hunting Jhin?

Zed teleports back into the room via his Living Shadow, with a comically beaten Kayn.

Zed : Because Jhin is one of the OTHER few NON-INSANE Ionians. Speaking of, he's probably gonna need some bodyguarding now that the people are haywire. So if you guys aren't too busy...

Syndra smiles sheepishly at the club members, and Zed is presumably doing the same despite wearing a mask. The Juggernaut Club members groan.

Zed : What?

Wait, is Zed protecting Jhin? O.O

It's kinda cool to have Syndra Zed as the 'sane' ones... this is gonna be very amusing. [slayer-pantheon-popcorn]

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

{quoted}

LOLOLOL Renek's lines had me rolling. He's more than a few Fruitloops short of a full bowl. XD

After being stuck inside a tomb for an undisclosed period of time, with an ethereal being who's constantly taunting you, thus they eat away at your sanity, it's not surprising.

O.o ? She's mocking Shen isn't she.

Yeah partially, and I was poking fun at the fact that in her old lore, her master wanted her to learn "Balance", that wonderful thing that all Ionians drone on and on about. It's very interesting to think she hasn't gone crazy like the rest of the Ionians.

Wait, is Zed protecting Jhin? O.O

It's kinda cool to have Syndra Zed as the 'sane' ones... this is gonna be very amusing. [slayer-pantheon-popcorn]

I'm glad you noticed that I didn't include Kayn in the list of 'sane' Ionians.

######Because he's crazy about Zed-senpai!

There could be more to Zed's reasoning, we'll just have to wait and see.

LostFr0st1 votes

{quoted}

Yeah partially, and I was poking fun at the fact that in her old lore, her master wanted her to learn "Balance", that wonderful thing that all Ionians drone on and on about. It's very interesting to think she hasn't gone crazy like the rest of the Ionians.

That's right, isn't it... I had forgotten about that. I think it's still cannon too.

I'm glad you noticed that I didn't include Kayn in the list of 'sane' Ionians.

######Because he's crazy about Zed-senpai!

I can't see Kayn as sane in any way, shape, or form since the thread on Reddit where people were complaining he repeats the same quotes over and over again. Played him a couple times in practice mode after that and it's just not the same. Literally can't unhear.

There could be more to Zed's reasoning, we'll just have to wait and see.

I'm sure there is. With both Riot and your narratives, Zed has become quite the compelling champ to me.

EbonyBladeJ882 votes

Ebony is sitting at his computer desk, hard at work writing Part 19 of TJC. Suddenly, he hears a knock on the door.

Who is it?

The door is suddenly kicked open and Jarvan IV, Fiora, and Lucian all walk into the room.

JarvanIV : Alright you Ebony-Bonehead! We're taking over!

Hmm?

Fiora : Zat is correcht! Ve are zick and tired of being on ze sidelines!

Lucian : The only appearance I'VE had is through that Picketing joke you used in that one Roleplay update!

JarvanIV : Yup! So move it! we're gonna do a re-write!

Oh, Jarvan, Jarvan, Jarvan...

Ebony shakes his head.

Don't you realize that as the writer and narrator, I am all-powerful?

JarvanIV : Oh yeah? Prove it!

If you insist...

Ebony clears his throat

Fiora will now turn and punch Jarvan IV in the gut, followed by Lucian pistol-whipping him.

Suddenly unable to control herself, Fiora immediately turns and punches J4 in the stomach, and Lucian follows suit, smacking him on the back of the head with one of his pistol-like weapons.

JarvanIV : OOW! He turns to them WHY!?

Fiora shrugs her shoulders, and Lucian nods in agreement with her.

Fiora I do not know! Zomething just came over me!

Have I proven my point?

Jarvan pulls out his lance, determined to still continue. Fiora pulls out her rapier, and Lucian cocks his guns.

JarvanIV : Hardly! (Under his breath) Oww...

OK, you asked for it...

Jarvan IV is suddenly shot with an arrow.

Ashe suddenly appears in the doorway, and fires an arrow right into Jarvan's right leg.

JarvanIV : GAAHH! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?

Ashe shrugs her shoulders.

Ashe I don't know! A hint of things to come?

Hey! No spoilers! Security!

Riot Blitzcrank suddenly appears, and lifts Ashe bodily by the hood of her cloak, and carries her off.

Ebony then turns back to J4.

Now, I've got things to do, so let's get you all out of here.

Ahem... Deep Terror Nami from back in Part 11 will now remove you from the premises.

True to his word, Deep Terror Nami appears and unleashes a tidal wave that sends the three washing out of the room.

JarvanIV : YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME...

Phew...

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/cQotjHs0-the-juggernaut-club-part-18

######Aren't these updates getting a little ridiculous? It's like a whole different storyline is going on behind the scenes...

LostFr0st1 votes

You're so fun Ebony <3 LUL J4 thinks his princeness has power.

And where are our other boards buddies; why are they on vacation and missing chapters? [sg-janna]

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

You write and write and write... and re-write... https://i.giphy.com/media/XIqCQx02E1U9W/giphy.gif

And what thanks do you get? https://i.giphy.com/media/10tIjpzIu8fe0/giphy.gif

LostFr0st1 votes

It's ok Ebony, we'll find the rock they're hiding under eventually. [sg-soraka]

Critmaster Garen1 votes

Zed : Because Jhin is one of the OTHER few NON-INSANE Ionians.

... wat?

nice job :)

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

https://i.giphy.com/media/CPskAi4C6WLHa/giphy.gif

If I'm confusing you, I know I'm doing my job right. [slayer-jinx-wink]

Critmaster Garen1 votes

since when do accounts have to be lvl 30 to upvote in this section?

doesnt even make sense. theyre at it again with the random restrictions.

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

In the event that you're interested, I've started a running gag of sorts with my updates.

For example, here's the one from Part 15...

[zombie-nunu-bummed]

I have a regrettable announcement to make... Sniffs

TJG IS CANCELED! I know, I know, it's terrible, you see...

We lost our funding, and some actors went on strike...

The Demacian characters are seen carrying Picketing signs and walking in a circle.

JarvanIV : Where's my city repairs, Ebony!?

XinZhao : Mpffhpfhffpf? (Why am I still wheelchair-bound?)

Fiora : Vhy do I now have my proper accent and not before?

Quinn : I think Camille locked me in the closet in Piltover because she hates her job!

Lucian : I'm just here because you forgot to include me in the Demacia Arc before!

Some certain Noxian champs are sore that I haven't included them...

Talon appears out of the shadows, brandishing his weapons.

Talon : If I had been there, such a crappy thing wouldn't have happened to Katarina!

I GOTTA HIDE, HE'S GONNA KILL ME!!

https://i.giphy.com/media/gYf9usudAlIbK/giphy.gif

Now, I know what you really want. Here's Part 18.

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/cQotjHs0-the-juggernaut-club-part-18

If you want, I can show you the rest too. [slayer-jinx-wink]

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