(CHAMPION CONCEPT) Nefalz, The Herald of Silence (v1.6)

LeifTheExplorer·2/20/2016, 2:19:32 AM·10 votes·2,354 views

Nefalz is a utility mage with high zoning potential and flexible build paths.

Hey guys, I'm LeifTheExplorer! I've been playing league for several months now, and I main Mid/Supp. I like the current champion pool, but I always though there was something missing, something that fit my playstyle. I don't think I'm the only person with this playstyle as well. So please Riot, take a look and let me know what you think I could do to improve this awesome champion idea!

Overview: Nefalz is a versatile mage who's kit revolves around controlling the six. These spirits provide damage and utility, allowing him to have many flexible build paths and preform well in many different roles.

Base Stats: Health: 614 - 1784 (+65 per level) Health Regen: 5.7 - 15.42 (+0.54 per level) Mana: 500 - 1256 (+42 per level) Mana Regen: 6.5 - 20.54 (+0.78 per level) Attack Damage: 40 - 95.8 (+3.1 per level) Attack Speed: 0.625 - 769.375 (+1.36% per level) Armor: 30.5 - 80 (+2.75 per level) Magic Resist: 30 - 30 (+0 per level) Movement Speed: 350 AA Range: 480 (Ranged/Melee)

Primary Roles: Mage, Support

Rating: Attack: 1 Defense: 6 Ability: 8 Difficulty: 9 Lore: We called ourselves the Order of Peace. We believed that life prevents perfection, and in order to maintain a perfect world, life shouldn't exist. I remember the days so long ago, when there were seven of us. Seven who knew the truth. The masses, they refused to join in the journey for perfection. We made them. They tried to kill us, but we were one step ahead. We would only let our lives end when all were silent. Unfortunately, they did eventually catch up to us. And they killed all of us.

Spare one.

And this one knew how to bring his brothers back. Back to continue the journey to perfection.

They now help me. They now guide me. They are my angels. They are the six. I am the seventh.

I shall continue the quest of my brothers.

All will die. All will be still. All will be at peace.

I recently created an extended lore, and I'd really like you to check it out! It helps explain his backstory. Please post some critique/praise and let me know what you think! Expanded Lore

Skills: Passive: Foreboding Silence After casting 6 abilities, Nefalz's next damaging spell's mana cost is increased by 5% and all enemies damaged by the spell are silenced for 1/1.15/1.3/1.45 seconds.

Q- The Six Passive: Nefalz can hold up to 6 Spirit charges. Nefalz cannot cast this ability if 6 spirits are active. Active: Nefalz consumes a Spirit charge and sends a Spirit rushing out to target location, dealing magic damage and slowing all enemy units in a line by 30 / 35 / 40 / 45 / 50% for 1 seconds. Enemies struck take 50% less damage and gain 50% slow resistance from additional Spirits for 4 seconds. After finishing their initial trajectory, spirits remain stationary for 12 seconds (Granting vision in a 200 unit radius) before fading, restoring a spirit charge to Nefalz. Spirits can be manipulated by Nefalz's other abilities.

Spell Type: Skill-shot Range: 620 travel time is similar to Braum's Q Initial Damage: 20/50/80/110/140 (+60% AP) Magic Damage Cooldown: 0.5 seconds (Ability cannot be cast if 6 spirits are active.) Mana Cost: 10/11/12/13/14/15

W – Soul Facade Active: Nefalz recalls all active spirits towards him, creating up to 6 souls (one for each spirit recalled) that orbit Nefalz for 6 seconds. These souls detonate when making contact with an enemy champion or projectile. When a soul detonates on an enemy champion or projectile, they activate a shield on Nefalz for 3 seconds. Enemy projectiles that detonate souls are destroyed and have no effect. The shield does stack for each soul detonated. When a soul is detonated, it refunds 1 spirit charge. If there are remaining souls 6 seconds after activation, they disappear and refund 1 spirit charge for each soul not detonated.

Spell Type: Shield AoE Range: 270 Shield Per Detonated Soul: 10/20/30/40/50 (+40% AP) Cooldown: 18 seconds Mana Cost: 60/70/80/90/100

E- Fusillade Active: After a 0.25 second delay, every enemy champion within 300 units of a Spirit takes magic damage and are knocked away from the spirit's field of vision (If the enemy champion is within 200 units of the spirit, they get pushed away. If the enemy champion is beyond 200 units but within 300 units of the spirit, they only take the damage.) . All active spirits then fade, restoring 1 Spirit charge to Nefalz for each Spirit that fades.

Spell Type: Target AoE Damage: 90/105/125/145/165(+40% AP) Magic Damage Cooldown: 18/16.5/15/13.5/12 seconds Mana Cost: 60/65/70/75/80

R- Curse of the Seven Active: All enemy champions within 200 units of a spirit are slowed by 70% for 2 seconds, and Nefalz begins channeling for 1.5 seconds. At the end of this channel, all enemy champions within an area of effect are cursed, and are dealt 4/4. 5/5% of their maximum health in true damage every second for several seconds.

Spell Type: Champion AoE Curse Duration: 6/7/8 seconds Range: 900 Cooldown: 180/140/100 seconds Mana Cost: 100/120/140

Special shout out to The Dijnn, who helped me refine, organize, and balance the once crazy kit! Love ya!

Quotes: Upon selection- “Soon my brothers, all shall be at peace.”

Moving- “There will be silence, and the world will be perfect.” “They reject the truth.” “Do you hear them? They are my angels. My brothers.” “When all is silent, I will die in peace.” “Shhh, patience is key.” “I am the necessary evil.” “I've been on this journey for millennia, and I'm willing to continue my journey for several more.” “Sometimes I feel regret. But I know what I do is for a greater cause.”

Attacking- “Slip away.” “Die quietly, no need to scream.” “Feel the peace that comes with silence.” “Shhh...”

Upon using Q- “Feel my brothers.” “Hear my brothers.” “See my brothers.”

An Active Spirit Reveals An Enemy Champion- “Someone is coming.” “I shall prepare.” “One step ahead.” “They are revealed.”

Upon Using R- “Prepare for the final hour.” “Perfection is at hand.” “Fight with your final breath.” Taunt- “Your feelings hold you back.” “Fools.” “You fight for an unworthy cause.” Enemy Ryze: “The scroll upon your back. It belongs to my brothers.” Enemy Diana: “You seek the truth. Let me show you the way, child.” “You show potential, Diana. Join me in my journey.” Enemy Illaoi: “You misguide the masses, fool. You are a liar and a heretic.” Enemy Kindred: “Alas, my greatest allies, are my enemies. For now.” Enemy Karthus: “You worship death, yet you do not know what true death is.” Enemy Xerath: “My brothers are the ones who planted betrayal in your soul.” Enemy Lissandra: “Your Gods killed my brothers. I shall silence your God's daughter.” "DIE, WITCH OF ICE! FEEL THE SILENCE THAT YOU GAVE TO MY BROTHERS!" "I will make you die without peace." "Behold, I am the seventh you failed to end." Upon Killing Enemy Lissandra: "The souls of my brothers have been avenged."

Discussion: So, if you have no idea what this champion does because you didn't bother to read carefully, this section is for you! So, what is his overall playstyle? Nefalz's kit is based around controlling the six spirits of the order of silence. You can only have 6 spirits a time, how you use them is up to you. Some of his abilities have little to no cooldown, and some of his abilities have really long cooldowns. Engage and Disengage (W), Decent CC and Zoning (Q & E), and great teamfight potential (R) To some of you out there, he seems like a ripoff. And in some ways, you're right. His kit has similarities to certain champions, but it has its own uniqueness in many ways. I wanted to make a champion that didn't have to use the same buildpath every game in order to win. I wanted someone flexible, someone who you could mix it up with.

Leif, he sounds overpowered! Yes, his kit is very good. It allows great roaming and dueling if used right, but it has its drawbacks. First off, I'd like to address why I decided to go with really low AP ratios. His kit has spammable abilities, so in order to balance for the DPS, I needed to include less damage. For a mage, his damage output is somewhat lackluster. But this is good in a way because you aren't doing to much damage to his kit if you decide to build utility or tank.

Leif, you did a terrible job explaining things in the skills section. Can you draw some analogies in order to help me understand the nature of his kit? Sure! Many of Nefalz's abilities have similarities to other champion abilities.

Passive- Similar to Annie's passive, you pay a little bit more mana for a bonus silence on your Q/E/R after you cast 6 abilities.

Q- Similar to Syndra's Q, Zed's W, or Azir W, as it can be manipulated by your other abilities. However, Nefalz's Q manipulation is less focused on damage but more on utility. Spirits also provide vision.

W- Similar to Diana's W, as it creates orbiting shields from your active spirits. Unlike hers, it costs more, but it contains more defensive qualities. It's also on a long cooldown.

E- Similar to the mechanics in Zed's living shadow's E/Trundle's E, All active spirits trigger some AoE damage after a short delay. It also pushes any enemy close to the spirit away from the spirit.

R- Similar to Nunu's R/Fiddlesticks's R, it is a AoE nuke that centers around Nefalz. You also drastically slow any enemy champion near a spirit for 2 seconds.

Where would you play him? Probably mid or support. Jungle could work, but Nefalz's damage is average and he doesn't have enough sustain to work well in top lane.

Lore: You probably read that lore, and you were like, what is this? Does this kid not know the difference between “lore” and “monolog”?

Well OK, yes that is a monolog. But I believe that would be a good thing to put on the lore page. As for actual lore, here you go.

Many millennia ago, there was a group known as the Order of Peace. Ever since life was created, there have been those who oppose its existence. However, their numbers were few, and the majority of those members preformed ritual suicide. Seven members saw the idiocy of this act, knowing they could not bring peace the rest of the world if they are dead. So, using the raw magical power of that age, they were able to sustain themselves for thousands upon thousands of years, Slowly chipping away at the cycle of life.

It was said that they persuaded Xerath to bury Shurima. It was said that they wrote the scroll upon Ryze's back. What they did do is unknown, but it was common knowledge that they were an influence on key events in Runeterra.

All had heard the tale of the seven, and how they loathe all forms of life, including undeath. At one key manifestation, during a battle in the Freljord that involved the watchers, they were captured and killed.

However, they had prepared if such an event as this would happen, the seven had left one of their kin behind. One to bring them back to continue the journey. Using the long forgotten magic of ages past, Nefalz summoned them back from death as spirits, as they had left shards of their soul within his crown.

Many people wondered what happened to the seventh. They knew he was out there. But Nefalz waited. Fact became legend, legend became myth, and after many millenia, the seven were forgotten. Only a handful of beings remember their existence.

Nefalz now strikes from the shadows, eliminating targets he believes will deter the plan of his brothers. But he is still waiting. Waiting for the final moment, the one moment to end all life. When that moment is, we don't know. Perhaps Nefalz does.

Visuals: If this champion does get picked, I'd like a certain visual to go with. I've always like the cold and evil look of the Witch King of Agmar, and the formidable grace and prowess of Thranduil (Both are from LotR). I think a mix between those two would be a great look for Nefalz.

I think Nefalz should look relatively human and middle-aged, as his magic is so powerful he's been able to maintain his youth. Perhaps some face tattoos similar to Diana's. (Perhaps he is using thorn magic to keep himself young, if we want to go into detail?) Nefalz would have a crown with seven spires made of a really dark material. Perhaps the crown be radiating pale shadows? I mean the spirits of the six are supposed to live in there. I imagine Nefalz having a soft, emotional, but cold voice.

I imagine him having flowing, faded purple/blackish robes. Nefalz is supposed to have a “cold, graceful, and formidiable” appearance, as his kit & personality doesn't scream armored damage dealing machine (a.k.a. Mordekaiser/Karthus). The robes may have some tatters, but overall Nefalz keeps a nice appearance. I imagine having some gold highlights on his lappels. I think this appearance would be something familiar but new, and wouldn't receive too much backlash. Oh, and I don't think he needs an a staff/wand/orb to channel his magical energy. I mean, he's had time to practice, right?

Do you have an idea of what this champion would look like, and are you good with art? If so, send me some artwork! That would be amazing!

Stuff for Riot Dear Riot, I hereby give you permission to use all ideas inside this kit/lore without having to give me credit/royalty. However, I would like one thing if you use this idea. Just 7200 IP? That way I can buy him when he comes out. Oh and please use this idea, it would be a dream come true. I think this would be a relatively good next champion, as the majority of your new champions have been based around heavy AD or tankiness. This would be a new champion with new unique mechanics to spice things up.

Questions: If you have questions about lore, kit mechanics, and/or any other question, let me know! I put a lot of time into thinking up this champion, so don't be afraid to ask! If you think this champion idea is bad, let me know why! I'd love the critique.

35 Comments

ModThe Djinn2/20/2016, 3:01:03 AM3 votes

{quoted}Nefalz is a utility mage with high dueling potential and flexible build paths. Mage, Support

Dueling support is...odd. But okay. Let's see if this works out for you.

Skills: Passive – True Silence When Nefalz damages an enemy champion with an ability, they gain one stack of Impending Death. Nefalz cannot apply more than two stacks of Impending Death per second. One enemy champion cannot have more than 18 impending Death stacks at any given time. Impending Death stacks are consumed upon death. If Nefalz gains a kill or assist on an enemy champion, their death timer is increased by one second for every three stacks of impending death.

This is...both incredibly unfun, not particularly noticeable, and either super weak or super strong depending on when the champion dies.

Denying an opponent the chance to play the game is bad -- if you die ten times in a 30 minute game, that's a full minute less of playtime you get when Nefalz is in the game. In general, however, no one will really consciously FEEL the power of this ability (since there's no direct showing of its strength -- just some extra numbers on a timer), making it feel pretty bad for both Nefalz himself AND his opponent.

Q – The Six Active: This skill can store up to 6 spirits. When activated, Nefalz sends a spirit in a straight line, dealing damage to all enemy units who make contact with the spirit. After completing its initial trajectory, the spirit will remain stationary, providing sight in a 250 unit radius. Nefalz cannot cast this ability if 6 spirits are active at any given time. Spirits are untargetable, they do not disappear, and they remain stationary unless manipulated by Nefalz's other abilities. Range: 800 travel time is similar to Zyra's E Initial Damage: 20/35/50/65/80 (+25% AP) Magic Damage Cooldown: 0.35 seconds (Ability cannot be cast if 6 spirits are active.) Mana Cost: 4% of maximum mana.

I'm still unconvinced by making his primary harass and damage into his best lane defense / utility as well. The cooldown should also probably be reduced to 1-2 seconds, or you'll literally just hammer the ability on a single target if you want to deal damage -- that's really an uninteresting gameplay pattern.

W – Soul Facade Active: Nefalz recalls all active spirits towards him, creating up to 6 souls (one for each spirit recalled) that orbit Nefalz for 6 seconds. These souls detonate when making contact with an enemy champion. When a soul detonates on an enemy champion, the champion is slowed by 40% for 0.5 seconds and activates a shield for 3 seconds. The shield does stack for each soul detonated. When a soul is detonated, it refunds 1 spirit charge after 1 second. If there are remaining souls 6 seconds after activation, they disappear and refund 1 spirit charge for each soul not detonated. Range: 300 Shield Per Detonated Soul: 15/25/40/60/85 (+15% AP) Cooldown: 18 seconds Mana Cost: 100/120/140/160/180 mana

Once again, this is a REALLY high mana cost for an ability that's mandatory to be able to use your Q more. It's also a really strange ability on a high movement-speed, ranged mage/support who doesn't otherwise want to be in melee range.

E – Abjure Passive: +5/10/15/20/25 ability power Active: Nefalz dashes to a target spirit, and after a 0.25 second delay, releases a shockwave that deals damage and slows all nearby enemy units by 55%. (This ability also interrupts channeled abilities.)

Range: 590/350 Damage: 100/125/150/175/200 (+45% AP) Magic Damage Enemy Unit Slow Duration: 0.6/0.7/0.8/0.9/1 seconds Cooldown: 10/9.5/9/8.5/8 seconds Mana Cost: 70/75/80/85/90

...now it feels like we Do want to be in melee range, but we're a 500 range auto-attacking mage with range harass and vision -- which implies that we want to keep our distance. Huge mis-match in gameplay feel here -- what SHOULD this character be doing?

R – Purge the Lands Passive: Nefalz regains 0.5/0.75/1% of his maximum health and mana every 5 seconds for each active spirit when out of combat. Active: Nefalz places an area of effect in a target area for 6 seconds. This area of affect increases the movement speed of Nefalz and ally units, and gives Nefalz's abilities bonus effects.

Q- Souls deal an additional 20/45/70 (+5% AP) magic damage in an AoE (Range: 200) after finishing its trajectory. W- Detonated souls deal 20/30/40 (+10% AP) magic damage to the champion in was detonated on. E- Enemies are rooted instead of slowed 1/1.5/2 seconds.

Range: 520/450 Movement Speed: +50/60/70 bonus movement speed Cooldown: 55/45/35 seconds Mana Cost: 120/160/200 mana

As I said in my last review (on the previous thread), this just does way too much. It has muddled use-cases as a result, and gives a lot of unappreciable power by granting relatively small or sporadic effects. I see you cut the mana regeneration, but this ult still doesn't really give a satisfying moment of power.


I still have no idea what this character is supposed to be doing. He's got awkward ranged harass, a dash + close range ability on a kit that seems long-range otherwise, incredibly low damage (but is supposed to be able to duel?), poor supporting abilities aside from vision-granting (but is supposed to be a support?)...

There are some cool ideas here (the zoning spirits in particular), but I think you really need to lock down what this guy IS, thematically. Currently he's a guy who has some spirits, and then does some unassociated stuff.

He doesn't seem like a herald, and especially not one of silence. He doesn't quite feel like a mage, and definitely doesn't feel like a support. He doesn't feel like a duelist. He just feels...scattered.

I think if you refocus the concept you might be able to build something pretty cool here though.

ModThe Djinn2/21/2016, 3:12:03 PM2 votes

Alright. Let's take a look at the revised version.

Incidentally, if you're going to lift my suggestions practically wholesale, mind dropping a comment to that effect in the ability section somewhere? I don't mind it (that's why I offer suggestions) but if you're basically lifting most of the next I'd appreciate a mention. :P

{quoted}Skills: Passive – Foreboding Silence Every 18/16/14 seconds, the next time Nefalz damages an enemy champion with an ability, they are silenced for 1 second. Using an ability reduces this cooldown by 1 second.

Hm. Interesting. I'm not sure I actually LIKE it, but that would have to be tested to really see.

Q- The Six Passive: Nefalz can hold up to 6 Spirit charges. Nefalz cannot cast this ability if 6 spirits are active. Active: Nefalz consumes a Spirit charge and sends a Spirit rushing out to target location, dealing magic damage and slowing all enemy units in a line by 30 / 35 / 40 / 45 / 50% for 1 seconds. Enemies struck take 50% less damage and gain 50% slow resistance from additional Spirits for 4 seconds. After finishing their initial trajectory, spirits remain stationary for 12 seconds (Granting vision in a 200 unit radius) before fading, restoring a spirit charge to Nefalz. Spirits can be manipulated by Nefalz's other abilities.

Spell Type: Skill-shot Range: 620 travel time is similar to Braum's Q Initial Damage: 10/25/40/55/70 (+25% AP) Magic Damage Cooldown: 0.5 seconds (Ability cannot be cast if 6 spirits are active.) Mana Cost: 4% of maximum mana.

You can definitely up the damage, since that first spirit is your harass (and since it's easy to avoid burst by simply changing the damage ratio from subsequent spirits). Maybe consider 60 / 90 / 120 / 150 / 180 (+80% AP), as that reduces further damage to 30 / 45 / 60 / 75 / 90 (+40% AP) which seems find as a spammable spell.

I'd also consider lowering the mana cost to a flat value -- or removing it entirely. There's a CHANCE this guy wouldn't need mana, especially since he doesn't really need CDR that much (since Q can't be affected by it, and all it does is change how frequently he can use W and E, which he's unlikely to use more than once per fight anyway).

W – Soul Facade Active: Nefalz recalls all active spirits towards him, creating up to 6 souls (one for each spirit recalled) that orbit Nefalz for 6 seconds. These souls detonate when making contact with an enemy champion or projectile. When a soul detonates on an enemy champion or projectile, they activate a shield on Nefalz for 3 seconds. Enemy projectiles that detonate souls are destroyed and have no effect. The shield does stack for each soul detonated. When a soul is detonated, it refunds 1 spirit charge after 1 second. If there are remaining souls 6 seconds after activation, they disappear and refund 1 spirit charge for each soul not detonated.

Spell Type: Shield AoE Range: 270 Shield Per Detonated Soul: 10/25/40/55/65 (+35% AP) Cooldown: 18 seconds Mana Cost: 60/70/80/90/100

I like that you gave him another way to recall the spirits. Good call. I'd make detonations return stacks immediately though -- it might interfere with his play pattern if they don't. I'd also suggest changing the shield value to maybe 15 / 25 / 35 / 45 / 55 (+30% AP), as it's a little more consistent in the early game while not out-classing high value shields in the late game. Going to be a little swingy at all times though -- maybe make it max out at 3 Spirits to allow you to alter the values better? Then you could say 30 / 40 / 50 / 60 / 70 (+45% AP) and cut a little bit off the best and worst case scenarios, which might be good.

It would also instantly restore Spirit charges for any extra spirits over the 3 used, which would make it better as an emergency tool, since you'd have Q ammunition immediately. I think that adds some nice reliability.

E- Endless Silence Active: After a 0.25 second delay, every enemy champion within 300 units of a Spirit takes magic damage and is silenced. All active spirits then fade, restoring 1 Spirit charge to Nefalz for each Spirit that fades.

Spell Type: Target AoE Damage: 55/75/95/115/135 (+45% AP) Magic Damage Silence Duration: 0.3/0.45/0.60/0.75/0.8 seconds Cooldown: 18/16.5/15/13.5/12 seconds Mana Cost: 60/65/70/75/80

I think the silence nerf isn't necessary with the delay on the activation. Either way it's WAY too low, given how easy Spirits are to simply walk away from (and yes -- you WILL silence someone with that last Spirit, and that was intentional in my design. Any extra silencing is a bonus).

I'd still suggest 1 / 1.25 / 1.5 / 1.75 / 2 seconds, if you want it to scale. Make this ability one to be worried about -- it helps sell you as a zoning mage. I'd also consider upping the damage. Maybe 50 / 80 / 110 / 140 / 170 + (75% AP). Standing near spirits should be dangerous, not mildly inconvenient.

R- The Six Ride Out Active: All enemy champions within 200 units of a spirit are slowed by 70% for 1 second, and Nefalz begins channeling for 1.5 seconds. At the end of this channel, all enemy champions within an area of effect are cursed, and lose 3% of the maximum health every second for several seconds.

Spell Type: Champion AoE Curse Duration: 7/8.5/10 seconds Range: 900 Cooldown: 180/140/100 seconds Mana Cost: 100/120/140

I like the addition of the spirit slow, as it rewards you for good positioning. I'm less sold on the damage staying so efficient per second though -- I think keeping the duration constant and the value of health per second was a cleaner presentation, because it means that over a short fight the difference is still meaningful. This version is exactly the same power at level 1 as it is at level 3 if the fight only lasts 7 seconds. That could be an issue.

FloRaider422/25/2016, 2:26:50 PM2 votes

Sorry for the delay, but I was unable to get this done yesterday.

Role: Utility mage with high zoning potential and the ability to operate in different roles Theme: Dark magic and undead spirits aren't exactly new, but let's see were you take that

Lore: A very strange belief system (no wonder they got so little members), but I wonder how he intends on achieving his goal when the physical personifications of order Bard and death Kindred exist in his world. It's also hard to believe such a belief would develop in a world filled with undead, otherworldy creatures and personifications of the elements, which generally work against this plan.

That said let's check out the Extended Lore: Very interesting story, but the dialouge feels strange at times. Why leave behind your most powerfull members when you face a dangerous threat ? Why not team up with the Tribes to defeat the watchers, if they are such a big threat in your eyes ? I am uncertain about using the watchers as the big bad, mainly because we don't know anything about them. They got defeated by a bunch of vikings (Howling Abyss), yet seemingly curbstomp those powerfull wizards. I am not a fan of some of the champion connections either, but that is a personal opinion. (They caused the Fall of Shurima, created Ryze scroll, etc.)

480 is a weird range for AA what kind of weapon does he use ?

Passive: I kinda dislike that like Annie you can just hold onto your silence and just zone like that, but the rest seems very interesting.

Q: Very solid ability and I appreciate that multiple hits deal reduced damage, since you can spam them very easily. The range and speed seem a bit lacking in terms of chasing and poke.

W: Seems like Orianna E + Diana W + Yasuo W It is a very interesting concept, but the duration is very long and I don't understand why it has the Diana aspect although contacting enemy champion has no effect apart from activating the shield. The fact that those souls destroy projectiles and disables them will look very strange when you start blocking Trueshot Barrage or other big projectiles that suddenly disappear when touching a flying orb (size ?)

E: I wonder why on this ability multiple hits deal the full damage, yet on Q they don't. The delay is way to short to escape the blast and why does it only affect champions ?

R: The slow offers a nice combination with good use of Q and E, but since you seem to need to finish the channel for the effect I don't see how you would use this apart from a deathbrush. (Or does the channel time determine the damage ?)


Overall: His playstyle reminds me a lot of Orianna or Azir, but I feel like the battlefield would get cramped with his ghosts easily. I like that he can't rearange the ghosts which makes strategic placement important, but I feel like his high amount of CC and ghosts makes it very unfun to play against him at times (He can silence and shield when you all in as an Assassin, but he lacks range and burst to deal with poke campions).

That said it is an interesting concept and I like a lot of the ideas you integrated.

Tyrius2/20/2016, 1:31:00 PM2 votes

You're doing better, though now you need to distill him into his absolute base elements.

Pike, as an example, is a bit muddied, especially with his ultimate, but everything serves a purpose befitting of his theme and character. Keep going, you're almost there.

...Also, bit of a shameless plug, but on the second post of my Pike thread, I wrote up some Expanded Lore I'm eager to get some opinions on.

lucsarisin2/23/2016, 7:24:29 PM1 votes

Great concept with a great suitable lore with many different skin possibilities, however, I would like to know what he would possible look like? Also, I believe the spirits orbiting him and granting him a shield seems similar to diana's W. Overall it seems like a strong kit with a slightly overpowered E ability which could on its own destroy teamfights! The ultimate in combination with it may seem a bit unbalanced. I would reduce the time from 6/7/8 to 4/5/6 seconds of his ultimate. Overall I really enjoy this concept and wouldlove to seen more of him!

Candurill3/2/2016, 11:36:47 AM1 votes

Hey :D Here I am with my view of your champion ^^ as a disclaimer, I only write my own findings and interpretations of your champion here. Take whatever you wish from it, but by all means stay with whatever you have envisioned for you champion to be. We all make concepts for our own pleasure, not that of the crowd :)

Without further ado: "Silence...Is not the absence of sound...but a sound itself, that can be loud or soft, soothing...or disturbing..." "How will you silence me, who is both silence and sound?..." (Some quotes for Dayne when he meets Nefalz)

I like your lore. It is simple yet unsettling and paints a neat picture of the champions backstory. I do however, would have wanted some more...I tend to lose myself in the lore of games and thus really like long lore's to burrow through :) Besides, I can't really tell what kind of character your champion has...Other then wanting to kill everything...

His Passive: Cool idea for a passive :D TBH I kinda saw this coming by looking at the name XP but thats not a bad thing. It works for the theme...You could however, maybe integrate it more into the lore by adding some flavour text or some other special something to make it more...Nefalz :D

His Q: Cool ability to base a kit around :) Not much else to say, it seems fairly balanced ^^

His W: Diana much? Not that its wrong to base abilities off of other abilities, though I tend to try and make up original things. It works very well for the champion and the lore, though I really think that its a bit too much like Diana.

His E: Nice ability for crowd control :) Not much else to say.

His R: I sense some Nunu in here....though the effect is different, it gives the same feel. I like the ability and the balance, but I really think you could have done someting more...creative...Then again, we don't need 1000 unique champions with unique abilities ofcourse ^^

All in all a awesome champion :) I dig the idea, the passive and Q. For the W and the R I would maybe try and think of something...new...but that is just me...

I hope my feedback helps :D

regonas4/28/2016, 7:58:28 AM1 votes

Riot is actually tries to limit silencing abilities as much as they can, so i don't think new champion with a silence has any more chance to appear.

Also, you should specify, that player is forced to pick Q first (like Azir), because rest of the kit works only from this one ability.

Rest look pretty good. Some number tuning and everything should be fine.

tman30002/22/2016, 7:49:39 PM1 votes

I LOVE IT!!!!! Really REALLY balanced!!! although maybe his ulti cooldown is a little to long maybe like 180/120/90.

Lvl 12 Sandshrew2/22/2016, 10:04:31 PM1 votes

OK Leif. I took a look at your champion and here is what I thought.

Name- OK, cool, he is going to silence people I guess. Not enough of that in the game rn.

Lore- OK, a man literally haunted by his inner demons, the spirits of his fallen brethren. Cool. I can dig it. It has the Shadow Isles written all over it.

Stats- 30 armor seems too high and 40 AD seems too low for level 1 stats. He is a REALLY fast champion. (I think he has the highest base speed out of any champ) His autoattack range makes me think of something like Thresh. However, I dont think it is necessary. Honestly, I think he should be an AP melee champion.

Abilities- I think his Q needs a little work. Up to six .5 sec cooldown skillshots seems too broken. Either, he should have less (personally I think 3 spirits would be a better number) or some method of generating spirits (up to six) should be worked into his kit. But I really like how, mechanically, the spirits tie his entire kit together. Still six spirits seems way too high especially considering his W which essentially gives him up to six spellshields.(but even more than 1-2 is OP) I think it is redundant that the E should silence while his passive basically gives anyone of his spells the ability to silence. Either the passive shoud be changed or the W should be a soft-cc (slow) instead of a silence. Since, thematically, the champion centers around silencing people I think you should change the W's cc to soft-cc. Finally, the ultimate. 40% max health true damage seems like it is too much unless my understanding of the spell is flawed. Does it only damage people in the area affected by the curse or are people in the target area cursed?

I hope this was helpful! Basically, his spirits mechanic needs some brushing up.

The Anagram King2/23/2016, 2:27:15 PM1 votes

I grace this concept with my presence. BE HONOURED. //ego trip.

Hey! So I was pleasantly surprised with the simplicity of this concept. I generally consider it a chore to figure out what fits where, but Nefalz is pretty straightforward in his design. Before anything else, however, I'd like to ask: Was Nefalz different when you began?

I see his E's rundown at the end of the post talks about a silence; but kind've in a 'this ability causes silences!' sort've way, as opposed to 'the passive may silence enemies when ready', y'know? I ask this, because I feel you have some real room to make things more complicated if you want to. I mean, simplicity isn't bad. If anything, it's good to aim for - as I'm sure you know (you seem to genuinely know what you're doing, with this concept). At the same time, however, you could add in and switch up a cuple of effects without lending confusion to the kit. If you wanted to, being the key phrase.

I read your extended lore several hours ago. It's interesting, having a character who has not only seen - but seeks to destroy the watchers. If you wanted, you could really go into this; referring to them and describing their attributes within in-game quotes. You could also reference a ton of historical events in much further detail. This would have to be done carefully, of course, as you don't want to step on the toes of canonical details. But you could, for example, refer to a single watcher by name or title; physical description. Specific powers. Heck, you could reference their powers and try to work in some kind of similarity to one of Nefalz's own. "To surpass them, I must understand them! What if they come back? What if someone takes their place?"

But these are just off-the-cuff avenues I lazily considered while reading your character's lore. ;p

As I talk about your abilities, I'm going to point out things I like and don't like about them. I'll also probably throw in suggestions and perspectives on alternate ways you could approach your current kit to achieve different results. This doesn't mean you have to change anything based on my opinions. The end-goal should ultimately lie with you. I'm just giving you food for thought!

--

  • Nefalz's passive

... is a silence on a cooldown timer. The timer is reduced when he casts an ability. It's simple. But - and don't take this the wrong way - I totally think you can do better. Nefalz is going to be kiting and throwing his spirits at enemies. When an enemy comes in, he's gonna shield up and walk away (or else, burst them with Qs over and over ;p). He'll PROBABLY only get 1, 1-second silence off per combat. And it's hardly an engage or hard-control tool. I feel like it's just tacked on, and doesn't serve a purpose, as is specific to the champion's kit.

I asked before - but I'll do it again. Did your E originally silence enemies? If so, it could be worth considering throwing the silence back onto that ability, or power-shifting it somewhere else. Y'know, a spirit resonating out a deafening tone of magical silence, drowning out the natural sound in an AoE. Alternatively - but running with the same theme - the passive could be adjusted in a way that ALL active spirits scream out silences at periodic intervals, making placement doubly important. It'd also be a cool visual if all 6 spirits were active. :P

...but that's just one idea.=p


  • Nefalz's Q

... is like a machinegun of souls. If you just throw one after another at an enemy every 0.5 seconds, you're gonna offload a potential 760 (+360% AP) magic damage over 3 seconds. I imagine buying a item 3116 would be absolute core for an aggressive Nelfaz player. ZERO escape!

Now, I don't know if I'm alone in this assumption - but it feels like Nefalz wants to be a combo mage.

What if you were to break up the 6 spirits into segments of 2 or 3, with cooldowns between each segment? After all, you're probably not going to use all 6 in one go unless your plan is to 100 - 0 something (or your job is to ward the enemy jungle. :P). By dividing 2 or 3 spirits into a single group, you could still throw multiple spirits (lining up combos or ensuring vision), but could ALSO reduce the cooldown of your other abilities to compensate for the delay between unleashing the next group.

In addition, you could then go a step further, retuning your W and E to only use one or two groups at a time, colour-coding your spirits or something (like an unholy rainbow!). The tradeoff to doing this, obviously, is that you may have to retune your entire kit. ;p

--

  • Nefalz's W

Is the "return" command in a pokemon game, except you also get a shield. Snazzy!

I feel like this ability is kind've underwhelming, and could use some novelty. Something like the souls sending an offensive spray (close range) in the direction of projectiles that strike them (BOOM!!! --Acid effect-- :P). Alternative options could be the silence scream effect I mentioned (the spirits resonating like bells as they're hit by a projectile, serving as an excellent tool to dissuade melee engages in situations where both a melee AND ranged opponent are trying to engage upon you).

You could also consider things like pressing (and holding) W again to well the orbiting balls up in a specific direction, shielding Nefalz from projectiles more efficiently (or activating all balls at once if a melee enemy gets too close ;p).

Cool things could be done, here. That's all I'm trying to say!

--

  • Nefalz's E

Is interesting, but kind've bland. Damage is nice, but an additional effect or interaction could totally be implemented. There are all sorts of options, here, like giving E a REALLY low cooldown and hovering over specific spirits to activate the AoE, one spirit at a time. This could allow you to set up really deadly obstacle courses, dissuading enemies from chasing through your souls. Another option would be something simple like a slow or a silence (I'm totally convinced, by now, that E once silenced enemies). A third alternative could be to chain the effect BETWEEN active souls, linking them up and filling the spaces between with a damage aoe or something. This would be more difficult to implement and may not even be FEASIBLE - but it's worth mentioning. Food for thought!

--

  • Nefalz's R

I really LIKE this ability. I imagine the visuals, and it just makes me grin a little bit.

I've pitched the idea a couple times already, but a resonating bell effect could be cooler than flat damage, here. Instant damage, lets enemies escape, but can do crippling damage over time and really divide an enemy team during teamfights (I'm liking my "Obstacle Course" description more and more, at this point ;p)

--

As far as visuals go, I'm not much of an artist - and can't really give you anything tangible.

But a fun little concept to toy with could be his crown; floating about, independently of Nefalz. I know it's connected and a part of him, but it could be a part whilst still apart, y'know? Spirits that move around and interact with Nefalz would have to pass through the crown, first - really driving home that the crown is their base; not Nefalz.

This could open up future plot developments, in which Nefalz comes to resent the trinket for the hold it has over him ("There has to be a better way than this!").

#In any case....


That was my not-so-brief proverbial letter in the suggestion box that is your comment section. Remember to take my input with a grain of salt. The vision my suggestions pinned to Nefalz may not mesh with your own. I hope you get some additional perspective out've my response, though!