The Juggernaut Club: Part 16

In Ionia, the Juggernaut Club is seen walking the streets of a city, looking for Shen and his fellow ninjas/doctors. The streets are completely empty save for them.

: Wow. This place is deader than back at home.

: It doesn't matter. If we can find Shen, we'll CALMLY AND CAREFULLY explain our situation to him, and hopefully he'll be kind enough to listen. Thus, we can keep this from getting any crazier than it already is.

: Uuh...

Olaf taps Darius on the shoulder.

: What, Olaf?

: I'm afraid we're a little late for that.

_ He gestures behind him, and everyone turns around. A "Frankestein"-esque mob of random Ionian citizens wielding farming implements, 2x4s, and other random tools re-purposed as "weapons" is behind them. Darius facepalms as they find themselves backed into a corner by them._

: Well, if anyone in the club is an AMAZING orator or mediator, now's the time to strut your stuff!

All the other club members shrug their shoulders. Darius Sighs.

Suddenly, out of the shadows, Zed and Kayn appear! Their sudden appearance causes the mob to back away, and Kayn starts drawing a circle on the ground around the Club, himself and Zed using his Scythe.

: I don't know if this is good or bad, but-

Zed quickly places his hand over Darius' mouth and motions "Shh!", as Darius' words were causing the people to grow unruly. Then, the group is enveloped in darkness!

Eventually the darkness clears, to reveal...

They've reappeared inside Zed's headquarters! Shyvana leans over to Illaoi and speaks to her as Zed and Kayn slowly walk up to each other and whisper among themselves.

: Great. Now we're gonna get killed by the Shadow-crazies.

: Oh well. No one lives forever.

: A-HEM!

Getting their attention as he looks at the two with displeasure, Yorick points to the bottle of Tears-of-Life around his neck that's kept him alive ever since the Blessed Isles became the Shadow Isles.

The group continues to talk among themselves, until Zed clears his throat to get everyone's attention.

: I never thought I'd be the one saying this, but...

He spreads his arms wide in a welcoming gesture.

: Welcome to Ionia, Juggernaut Club!

Everyone is taken aback by his actions.

: Yes, that's right. Be in awe at the amazing awesomeness of Zed, leader of the Order of Shadows and our amazing, super-cool secret base!

Kayn leans over to Zed, looking at him with an expectant smile. Zed just rolls his eyes.

Rhaast: Kayn, stop trying to look cute in hopes that Zed'll praise you. It's not going to work.

: Shut up, Rhaast!

The two start arguing about various Zed-related topics, and Zed runs a hand over his face. He looks at the Juggernaut Club members.

: Hang on a second.

He grabs Kayn by his shoulder plate and drags him towards a door, all the while Rhaast and Kayn argue among themselves. He throws Kayn inside and closes the door, locking it too.

He turns back towards the group, and shrugs his shoulders.

: He's my new intern.

Everyone: Oohh....

Kayn sticks his head through the wall via his Shadow Step ability.

: I AM NOT AN INTERN! I AM A FULLY-FLEDGED MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF SHADOWS, AND-

Zed forcibly pushes Kayn back inside the room.

: Nervous Laughter Syndra, honey, could you take over for a minute?

He sends his Living Shadow through the wall, and then blinks to it, vanishing into the room where Kayn is.

Syndra floats in from another doorway elsewhere in the room.

: Alright, Zeddy-baby~

She then turns and faces the Club members.

: Now, you're all probably wondering WHY we brought you here...

Everyone starts blurting out random reasons, among them are the following...

: For snacks!

: To kill us!

: To kill Snacks!

: To build Stacks!

: Wrong, all of you! It's because you idiots set off the time-bomb!

: WHAT!? TIME-BOMB!? WHERE!? WHERE'S ZILEAN!? I'll BRUTALIZE HIM!

Volibear stands up straight, dropping Draven onto the floor and looks around the room menacingly.

: MMppfhfh?

Syndra shakes her head.

: No, not THAT kind of time-bomb! I'm speaking metaphorically!

: Phorically is NOT something that applies to the current Meta in LoL!

: Mumbles in approval of what Morde said

_ This leads the group to start arguing among themselves. Sighing, Syndra grabs Darius using her Force of Will and brings him up close_

: How do you HANDLE these idiots? Points at the other Juggernauts

: I don't. The only rule for the Juggernaut Club is that you have to be a Juggernaut to join. Other than that we do whatever the crap we want.

In Targon, Garen's made his way back to the village. Seeing him approach, Taric motions him to come behind the bakery building again, and Garen does.

: So, how'd it go with Leona?

: Oh, it went.

Garen rubs his cheek in remembrance of the slap.

: Oh man! She kissed you on the cheek? Lucky.

Garen scoffs.

: Not exactly. Anyway, is Pantheon back up yet?

Taric opens his mouth to answer, but then he stops and starts chuckling nervously. Garen's shoulders droop as a frown forms on his face.

: Now what?

: So, I MIGHT have made a bit of a goof...

Garen frowns harder.

: Well, you see... Pantheon woke up not too long after you left, and wasn't exactly happy about the whole "Masquerade/Steal his clothes" thing. So I kind of had to... Bedazzle him back into unconsciousness again. So I kind of need YOU to keep masquerading until he wakes up again.

: Well, I got news for you, Taric.

: What?

: The sun's coming up!

: Yes, I saw that.

: And...?

Taric doesn't seem to be getting what Garen is trying to get across. Garen just sighs.

: Ah, forget playing 20 Questions. Leona's here and she knows the whole deal.

: WHAT!?

: Darn Tootin!

She steps out from behind Garen, and Diana steps out from behind her. Leona holds up three fingers towards Taric.

: Third Strike, Gem-Nut!

: Thanks to you, Gem-nut, my order for Moon-Pies has been COMPLETELY RUINED!

Garen simply grabs his clothes to change back into them as Leona and Diana slowly start walking towards Taric.

Before he gets too far, Diana puts a hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn towards her. Behind her he can see Leona pounding Taric with her shield.

: Oh by the way, your sister's here. I think I saw her beating up Aurelion Sol.

: Ahh... beating idiots must run in the family.

In some field outside the village, Lux is shown smacking an unconscious Aurelion Sol with her staff.

To Be Continued...

EDIT: Oopsie, forgot a few words and there were some spelling errors. Fixed.