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Champion Concept: Ednala, the Moon Mother

Dracco998·6/17/2016, 4:59:23 AM·3 votes·751 views
Ednala

So I created Ednala a while ago, but I've done some artwork (I know it's not great, but I wanted some kind of image) and re-wrote her story/abilities. I wanted her to fit with the lore already established. Relatively new to this kind of thing, so feedback is greatly appreciated.

Intended Role: Support

Lore: Ednala was raised in a time when the Lunari and Solari lived in harmony. There was a balance in the sun and moon cycle. She decided to join the Lunari priesthood, and found her place there in society. She loved being a priestess, and she had a mystical connection with the lunar power of the moon. She was a devout follower, and gained wondrous powers because of it. She soon surpassed even the most experienced priestesses. Ednala's reputation for being an extremely powerful Lunari spread throughout not only the Lunari people, but Solari as well. The Solari grew uneasy with Ednala's power. They feared she would offset the balance. This fear grew into anger, and before long, the Solari surprised the Lunari with a full on attack. They believed that if they gained power first, Ednala and the Lunari would never have a chance to sway the balance of the sun and moon into their favor. When the Solari attacked, Ednala was farther up on Mt. Targon unable to help, and could only watch as smoke rose into the sky from her burning home. Most Lunari died, many fled, one stayed. Ednala watched for years and years, waiting for a chance to strike back. She observed everything that happened within the Solari stronghold, waiting for her moment of redemption. While she waited, Ednala further strengthened her bond with the Moon, and kept honing her abilities. The Solari appointed their new champion, a girl named Leona. Leona was a threat, but nothing could stand in Ednala's way. Ednala found her means of revenge in another girl within the Solari stronghold. Diana was causing problems with the Solari. Despite Solari brainwashing, Diana grew interested in the moon's power. The time came for Diana to know about the Lunari, now a distant memory to most. Ednala appeared to Diana as an elderly woman struggling to climb Mt. Targon. Diana helped Ednala scale the mountain, but at the same time Ednala guided Diana to the ruins of the Lunari temple. It is here that the fabled Moonsilver Blade is kept. It is here Diana will find the truth about the Lunari. It is here Ednala gained a new weapon of revenge against the Solari.

"My dear Diana, The Moon has chosen you. Now go, punish the people who have kept you from this enlightenment." Ally: Diana Enemy: Leona

Taunts: General: "I may be old, but I assure you, you should fear me." To ally Diana: "The Moon has blessed you, child." "Punish those who denied your enlightenment." To enemy Diana: "Do not forget, I have known this power far longer than you." To ally Leona: "I will never truly fight by your side." To enemy Leona: "You will pay for everything, child." To Warwick: "Do you howl at the moon out of fear?" To Annie: "You should respect your elders, little girl."

Joke: "Back in my day, we hit a hoop with a stick for fun."

Kit Passive: Patient Watcher: Ednala gains +5.5% mana regen/sec and +7% AP for every enemy champion visible on the map. During Eclipse: +11% mana regen/sec and +10% AP instead

Q: Moonbow: A crescent sweeps around Ednala, dealing magic damage equal to 60/90/110/130/150+100% of Ednala's AP and slowing enemies by 20% for 2 seconds. If it hits enemy champions within the Moonlit Path, they are stunned for 1.5 seconds instead. This can only occur once per champion every 6 seconds. During Eclipse: 1 second cooldown and no mana cost.

Range: 600 Mana Cost: 40/50/60/70/80 Cooldown: 7/7/6/6/5

W: Moonlit Path: Ednala gains vision on a large area in straight line in front of her that lasts for 10 seconds. While in this area, Ednala and allied champions gain 10/15/20/25/30% movement speed. During Eclipse: 20/30/40% Higher movement speed bonus.

Range: 3000 Mana Cost: 50/60/70/90/120 Cooldown: 25/24/23/22/20

E: Pale Aura: Ednala basks herself or target ally champion in lunar power for 4/4/5/5/6 seconds. Target champion gains a shield equal to 15/17/19/21/24% target's current health+50/55/60/65/70% Ednala's AP. Reactivate the ability to release the shield, dealing the amount of shielding missing as magic damage in an area around the shielded champion. During Eclipse: Double shielding amount.

Range: 500 Mana Cost: 30/40/50/60/70 Cooldown: 15/14.5/14/13.5/13

R: Call Eclipse: After channeling for 2 seconds, Ednala calls for an eclipse, greatly restricting enemy vision for 3/4/5 seconds (much like Nocturne ult) in an area of 3500/3700/4000 units centered on Ednala. While inside the area, Call Eclipse buffs Ednala's other abilities.

Range: Centered on Ednala Mana Cost: 80/90/100 Cooldown: 120/90/60

Changelog 7/6/16: Taking feedback into consideration, many stats have been altered. 7/7/16: Added AP to passive, the stun on Q and no mana cost during eclipse, upped eclipse bonus on W.

10 Comments

7thflamingfury6/17/2016, 6:13:06 AM1 votes

hi just a question why does the Q and R have increased cooldown instead of a lowering cooldown ?

BowieTheNifty7/6/2016, 6:05:26 AM1 votes

Okay so I am here to give a review for the CCOS. I looked at this one and saw no feed back what so ever. Anyways I hate when my concepts don't get any feedback whether it be good or bad. Going to do you a solid and look over the kit for you.

Passive While the passive isn't exactly exciting I will admit there isn't anything like it. Something that works based on sight of the enemy team isn't that bad at all. Sure it maybe just mana regen but hey I can't really complain.

Q So this is an AoE centered around Ednala? A simple ability isn't that bad. The thing is the damage and the slow percentage are kinda low on it. When creating a concept that involves numbers don't be afraid to be generous with them. Think of it like an unsanded piece of wood. Taking peoples feedback, like shaving off high numbers if there are any is like smoothing out a champion.

W Honestly I like this ability. Sure it doesn't do damage but this provides quite a bit of utility. Being able to have this vision grants her quite a strong amount of power for being a support. Plus with the movement speed while on the path if great as well. So I approve of this.

E Okay you have a shielding ability that gives basically gives an exploding shield to herself or an ally. It reminds me very much of Sion's own shield. Some people believe that taking certain aspects of a champion is a bad thing. Depending on what you do with them can make or break an ability. In this one I feel like the shield would be far too weak. Having it be based on the targets current health you should make it a larger percentage. Maybe instead start at 15% then work your way up from there. Now shielding a full health tank that would be massively good, but the shield would really fall off on low health targets.

R For the ult, it does make sense to lower the vision of the enemies. Being an eclipse in all. Though I feel this ability is rather lack luster in my eyes. There isn't much to say here.

Overall The truth is that I don't know how much experience with concept creation. From what it looks like you are fairly new to it based on how rather simple the abilities are. Now I do know you have actually put time into this champion. I can tell by the fact you took your time to draw her, which shows you are one to put in effort. My advice, don't be afraid to complicate some abilities. Some complexity can make a champion exciting to play, but too much can make them frustrating. The same goes for simplicity. If the champion is simple sure they would be easy to understand, but they wouldn't be fun to play. There are plenty of interesting things that can be done with a kit that not only make your character unique but add some things never seen before. Hopefully this helps your out somewhat.

ModEchoing7/6/2016, 3:36:59 PM1 votes

Stand back, I'm a certified-

is that a giant phallus

what

Unfortunate design choices aside...

The passive doesn't actually do anything if I'm reading it correctly (extra base mana regen). If I'm reading it incorrectly (regenerate a percentage of maximum mana), then we have a problem. Otherwise, your passive amounts to less than 125 gold.

Your numbers are incredibly wonky on the whole, especially the bases. Your Q, for instance, starts off competent at first level, and immediately drops into uselessness afterwards due to only getting 10 damage per level up. The range on the Q and E is also so short, any ranged champion outranges it, which is incredibly problematic. Generally, AP ratios don't scale up with levels, either.

The W is actually really cool. Keep this.

The E is perhaps one of the worst possible shields you could have made due to scaling off CURRENT HP. This means when you want to shield an ally, it's too ineffectual to do anything. The lack of a base value hurts it even more - an ally at 50% HP gives you a totally useless shield.

The ult infringes on Nocturne's own unique design space with his ult, which really isn't cool since you're copying what makes Nocturne Nocturne. The increased cooldown with leveling it, though, is disastrous - you want to be able to use your abilities MORE often, not LESS often. No other ability goes up in cooldown when leveled, meaning you're also defying player expectation of every other champion.

On the whole, Ednala is way too weak to be a mage, but doesn't have any useful CC or a decent shield to be a support. Even with the ult online, you're only good for 3-5 seconds of mashing Q in a vain attempt to actually hit something with its poor range and bad damage.

Keep the W, but toss out everything else about the kit. Figure out whether you want a mage or a support, and then focus on that. Look up other champions' ranges on the wiki, and use that as a guideline for your own stuff. Do NOT have cooldown increase when leveling anything, no matter how powerful you think it is. I can't help with any other specifics - you'll have to decide what best fits your theme.

Doctor Fail7/6/2016, 3:51:53 PM1 votes

The concept has a lot of interesting design in it. I love the moon aesthetic throughout, even on the Ult. Creating an area of movement speed and vision, as well, is very cool. I absolutely adore the thought of exploding a shield onto surrounding enemies. It’s also refreshing to see an older champion.

That said, a lot of the mechanics and numbers seem like they could improve.

The passive is most reliably triggered in the early game but tapers off as enemies arn’t as sure to be consistently on the map, even factoring in the W’s vision. In this setting the passive is basically going to give you 20% mana regen in rare situations where the enemy jungle is in a lane while every teammate also has eyes on its lane partner. To compare, the Faerie Charm gives +25% and costs about 125 gold, if I remember correctly.

With this in mind, I would suggest maybe increasing the passive’s regen slightly. Have it give more than faerie charm in the rare occasions where every enemy is visible, and have it give slightly less when only four are visible.

The upward scaling cooldown is a little awkward in general, but is especially so on the E because it’s a shield. By definition you want to be able to have shields up as much as possible, so ranking it up makes it a little more unappealing in some aspects. The larger cooldown also makes detonating your shield seem less appealing, because now you’ve got a longer gap where you don’t have your protection in play. Where the growing cooldown on the R could make sense, I’d definitely recommend revisiting the E until that you don’t feel the increasing cool down is necessary on it. Though personally in its current state I don’t see any issues with just lowering the cooldowns. Even if you increase the shields durability which might not be the worst idea.

I also would suggest changing the shield’s damage to scale either flatly or off of how much shield HP is missing, in order to reward good timing. Doing so creates a minigame with your shield where you want to activate it at just the right time so that you don’t negate the usefulness of a shield, but also get the most out of your damage. It would also give your champion a semi-reliable option for longer ranged damage, which is something she lacks at present.

The R is thematic, but I hesitate to over-compliment a five second long global blind. Blind is incredibly annoying for the enemy team even if they arn’t engaged in the current fight.

Ultimately it’s a pretty cool concept idea, though some areas seem like they could use polish or reworks, most notably in the passive, E, and R