Boards›Concepts & Creations

Ghorban , the " Martael " Merchant ( Champ concept )

Iron Jarvis·3/6/2019, 1:38:14 AM·1 votes·2,237 views
Gyazo

Bio : Ghorban is a Merchant just like doran , not much is known about him but he is currently interested ( at the moment ) to show and sell his wares in summoner's rift and somehow he is not afraid to do so , wherever he goes things are sure to become interesting .

Disclaimer : i dont own the artwork for Ghorban but i DID compose my own rendition / version of his Log in theme :D ( enjoy )

Log in theme : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAiyBa6JTXA&feature=youtu.be

Lore : " Torah'ehn Sky Fortress " , the heart and secret black market capital in the skies of Runaterra , merchants with atleast a " golden east bird crest " license are welcomed in its Gates , while lower Licensed merchants only look up and dream , inside its gates are beautiful bazaars and various shops , including a Hierarchy of Merchants in this bustling fortress . Gentle winds caress its plaza , streets and courts while shops are open day and night . different ancient relics , peculiar potions and dangerous weapons are all in a merchant's stocks , everyone knows Doran , he's a " Platinum Void Crusher " License holder after all surely his stocks are pristine and well revered , most of the merchants would dream of asking advice from him or even Trade with him as their life's bucket list , but even in this bustling haven that doesnt sleep , there are laws to be met . especially the Tier of items a merchant can sell , the methods and capability on procuring them is one thing but selling them yield dangerous results to both the merchant and the ones that buy from them . the court of merchants dictate everything in this fortress , which are most " Diamond Crag Rusher " License holders , they once again scratch their heads as their ever elusive highest Ranked Merchant in the court is nowhere to be found , leaving his highly adorned Seat empty and they can only guess his whereabouts .

as Ghorban arrives in summoner's Rift he is seen setting up shop as a Rainbow colored License card dangles in his neck gleaming in a pristine glow .

Role : Support

Stats : HEALTH : 489.3 ATTACK DAMAGE : 51.2 HEALTH REGEN. : 5.5 ATTACK SPEED : [*] 0.644 (+ 0%) MANA : 377.2 ARMOR : 29 MANA REGEN : 11.5 MAGIC RESIST.: 30 BASIC ATTCK RANGE : 500 MOVE. SPEED : 335

Abilities :

 champ  passive :  "  Martael  License's  Privilege "  , Ghorban starts the game with 10% shop discount increasing to 25% based on level , and the ability to sell an item in the shop giving you back gold with the sold item's original price ( you can only do this if you have stacks of  " Doran's adoration " which has a max of 2 stacks . generating 1 stack has a 250 sec Cooldown and isnt affected by CDR or Runes of any sort )

" Trench weaver's Bottle " ( Q ) : Ghorban tosses a trench weaver bottle at a designated area ( range : 700 ) after a brief delay , it erupts with a massive Pillar of Shuriman origin ( 220 radius aoe ) anyone caught in the eruption is knocked up for 1 second , and upon impact towards the ground deals 80/160/240/300 + 10% total AP Magic damage , Cooldown : 13.25 / 12.25 / 11.25 / 10.25 / 9.25 secs Mana cost : 70 / 90 / 110 /130 / 150 mana

" Nightingale Flora sigils " ( W ) : ( skill lore : using an unknown forest mage's wand ) , Ghorban shoots a skill shot of Healing sigil stopping and implanting itself on the first ally champion Hit , healing them for 50 / 75 /100 /125/150 HP + 20% bonus AP initially and a lingering sigil mark effect ( lasts for 4 secs ) that procs and heals half of that amount upon taking champion damage , Cooldown : 9 / 8 / 7 / 6 / 5 secs , Range : 800 , mana cost 60 / 75 / 90 / 105 /120 mana

" Gargoyle Leech descent " ( E ) : ( skill lore : Ghorban releases a notoriously rare Gargoyle Leech from a strange ring he procured somewhere ) upon selecting an area to cast ( range 480 ) a gargoyle leech descends and crashes towards you dragging you to the designated area and protects you with its wings rooting you for 2 seconds and gaining " hungry leech " : the creature starts feeding on you , immediately costing you 12.5 % of your current health , but also while rooted you can basic attack , cast skill shots , and use heal summs but you cannot use Flash or use skills that relocates your current position , you also gain +20/25/30/35/40 % damage reduction and immunity to crowd control while enveloped by the gargoyle ( can be cast on ally champions ) , mana cost : 90 / 120 / 150 / 180 / 210 ( Cooldown : 18/17/16/15/14 secs )

" 500 megaTon angelic aspect essence " ( R ) Cooldown : 140/ 130 / 120 seconds , Mana cost : 300 / 500 / 700 mana ( Skill Lore : Ghorban sets up his Legendary Merchant Shop in its pure brilliance ) after a brief delay , Ghorban sets up shop ( 700 radius ) for 6 seconds and violently smashes the angelic essence jar on the ground , bathing the whole shop and its area with angelic light making ghorban and his allies in the area untargetable and immune to damage while shopping , but they also cannot use abilities or attack while inside the area . gain " Legendary shop discretion " : ( upon leaving the shop's Aoe effect , you may not re enter and bask in the shop's protection anymore until the ult is casted again . ) ( ghorban temporarily becomes an NPC , you gain 90% of the gold from items purchased by allies , but you cannot purchase items from your own store cause duuh its your freaking store ) , also the items sold increase in price and potency as you level and put points on your Ultimate ) Note : items can be bought and stored in your inventory , but if theres no space left it will automatically be consumed and start its effect duration ( shuriman martael's scale is a consumable item treated like potions , Lastly the items sold here will only have a stock availability of 1 , so a champion cannot buy 3 types all at once or stack items in their inventory ) shop items are as follows :

     " violent Kumungu EverBeetle extract " : gives flat 25/40/55 adaptive force  initially and increasing 5 - 10% more adaptive force  as the duration nears its end  ( Price : 85/125 / 165  Gold ) 
     ( potion duration 120 seconds )

       " Shadow isle marganium steel pod " :  + 150/200/250 max health and + 15/25/35 Magic res and Armor  ( potion duration 120 seconds )  ( Price :  85/125 / 165  Gold )

       " Shuriman Martael's Scale  " : upon taking fatal damage  , go on statis for 0.25/0.50/.75  sec and revives you with 50/150/250 HP ( scale buff duration 120 seconds )  ( Price : 100 / 145 / 185 Gold )

thoughts : feel free to comment and appreciate my concept , it has a nice ring to it :D Runaterra is amazing <3 and beautiful especially when observed from the skies like Ghorban does ^^ and for the more League savy people and critiques , make sure to leave a Juicy juicy analysis and review of my champ overall :D thanks and have a nice day .

8 Comments

Mr Voidling3/8/2019, 9:35:02 PM2 votes

So I guess I'll just get straight to it.

So his Passive: I actually had this(most of it) as a place-holder on a champion concept(Xenos, it was called "5-finger discount") awhile back, so more or less I don't see anything wrong with it mechanically. However the cooldown for stacks is pretty darn short, average game time (in seconds) is 1,500-1,800, so you're getting 6-7 refunds per game. If it was closer to 3-4 then that'd be better in my opinion. So I'd bump that up to every 7 minutes(so you're average second back lets you get a complete refund). This passive is REALLY good when combined with the summoner's spell book rune, just completely changing your set-up as situations arise. The discount is good but definitely not over-powered, as starting 10% is like 350 on the most expensive items? Plus you'll probably be a bit weaker in general than other champs, so you'll need items sooner to compensate. Maaybe 20% max instead of 25% though. Gives him a clear good mid-game but bad late-game(once you have 6 items the passive is almost useless).

Q: Well he is probably support so the high base damage numbers make sense, but the 10% ratio is pretty weak and basically useless, if increased to around 30-50% then it'd be okay.

W: In general this is a pretty good concept, don't have a real skill-shot healing ability so it is a nice addition. Pretty simple in laning phase but team fights can make it hard to land. 225+30% is fairly low though, ESPECIALLY with it being a skill-shot. Soraka heal is 200+60%, and that is a very fast targeted heal. I'd bump it up to around 375+30%(As he shouldn't build lots of AP?) for total healing, so 250 heal with 50% later.

E: First off, you shouldn't explain what being rooted does as that is quite simply just the definition of being rooted. Same as snare, you can't move by any means but can still cast spells and whatnot. Though it does beg the question as to whether Morg shield would cancel out the rooted part of the ability? Otherwise, it is indeed a problematic ability. Casting things to immobilize allies without their consent is a big no-no, especially for 2 seconds. Tahm Kench and Bard are bad enough sometimes... But at least they save you from all damage for the duration? This skill literally damages you at the start, so you take 12.5% current health and are stuck for 2 seconds... Not good enough for 20-40% damage reduction. I'd rework this ability personally.

R: Eh, it is pretty interesting. Yes the 90% gold is problematic, just imagine getting 240/350/460g for free every time you press R. If you use R twice at every level this gives you 2,400g, add in the 25% discount and you only need 300g for a Rabadon's. This is assuming that only 3 items can be purchased in total, which leaves 1 ally not being able to buy an item? Add in your Ancient Coin for even more profits... Items from the shop are fairly good though.

If each item you get costs 3,000 normally then you'll only need 18,000g for full 6 item build(no boots), this champs only needs 15,000-ish(since the discount changes as you level up), then add in the 2,400g you get from R and you only really need 12,600g for full build, or 70% of the normal gold gained from normal means. Or 21 minutes instead of 30.

Could lower to 50% of the gold spent and be pretty balanced there.

Overall he is also lacking in ways to damage champions... Closest champ would be Taric, but he gets his passive to help him deal damage, not just the stun. So maybe throw in another way for this champ to deal damage? Even a thorns shield would be better, like make E give allies a thorns shield effect that returns % damage + AD % damage back to attackers(to let him build AD if he wants?). Something... Even Soraka has more damaging abilities :P

And yes the mana costs are absuuuurdly high xD

Him + Ornn would be a pretty killer combo.

C0NCH0BAR3/6/2019, 7:05:05 AM1 votes

Let's dive in:

PASSIVE Little strange to have an item oriented passive on a casting support but can definitely see the advantages. It allows for a not-so gold income heavy role not be punished for building improperly based on changing circumstances. That would be a real nice feeling. Maybe amp up the CD up to 270 seconds (4 1/2 minutes) because that is a pretty strong ability to be able to quickly switch potentially two whole items in one recall. Perhaps make his passive apply a reduced cost to FULL items instead of ALL items so that he doesn't get that much of a lead on the enemy support. That way it will still feel good to finish the item at a reduced cost but he won't be a 2 full items before the enemy has one without feeding them assists this way and that.

Q Interesting concept of having someone be damaged AFTER the effect of the spell. That leaves room for some weird plays like clutch heals or TahmKench noms. Because of this, however, I would give it a scaling knock-up duration but also increase the CD early. CC is super strong throughout the entire game, especially when everyone is very exploitable in the early game due to relatively low resistances and hp pools. Cool idea; would love to see how it would work in game!

W Yet another cool concept! A heal that is best in times of clutch moments. Now if it was going to be a real "I better not hit that enemy" ability, then I would give it a 75%-90% effect of heal based on original heal instead of 50%. The reasoning is that you have it scaling off of BONUS AP, which does not include the original AP already supplied to him. It also has relatively low numbers, including scaling. I understand that he isn't meant to be a primary healer but having an ability that is pretty underwhelming always feels bad to play with as the player themselves and the teammates around him.

E I can't decide how I feel about this. It's a very "sentry" feeling ability that makes potentially anyone on your team immobile and thus pretty un-responsive to what is going on around them. Sure, they can cast abilities..... But just sitting there can reeeaaaalllly screw them over. Viktor just puts his gravity field under them close to the ability ending. Soraka places her silence down close to the end. Ziggs' minefield. The list goes on. That'd feel pretty bad to play with and really abusable to play against. I get that you want a trade-off for the damage reduction and CC immunity, which is a good thing to be aware of but the health consumption and maybe a self-slowing effect could do the trick. Also, the %'s should be lower because that is a decent amount of hp just gone without the consent of an ally XD

R Whew. That is one LOOONG description. Seems like a kindred ult that is shop-oriented. Now here is the deal; Why on Runeterra's green oblong sphere would a support with an already gold reduced shop get 90% OF ALLY PURCHASES?!?!?!?! That is INSAAANE income! It's a cute idea but would have to have multiple versions sketched up and debated over.

For the potions, I really like that idea of bringing a unique set of consumables to your allies. Feels very right with his personality and support style.

OVERALL KIT Mana costs are ridiculously high. This may be intentional to either force him into a mana hungry build or try and be a balancing factor but it would hit extremely hard. Mana hungry abilities need to either scale with mana or have lasting effects. Like Your W! Maybe if it procc'ed again, then it could consume 20 mana (or something). That way the after-effects still have a cost but only if utilized, thus not punishing you for something that really isn't within your control.

LORE Little confused that there is a city in the sky that is exclusively held by merchants. Maybe you could shift it to a Yordle merchant since Runeterra already has a place far away from the rest of the World that is whimsical and full of life. I like how silly it feels in that there are memberships with tiers and you can prestige and become "One of the best merchants". Like, what a fun group to pick such a potentially pretentious system! It could lead to a lot of funny dialogue, culture structure, and style.

rareform3/7/2019, 2:48:33 PM1 votes

It's neat that you explored a story related to Doran, the name behind the iconic starter items of the game. But all I get from this is that you tried your hardest to not let anything make any sense. Not speaking about your ability descriptions, although those were difficult to follow. But stuff like "Diamond Crag Rusher", "Trench weaver's Bottle", "violent Kumungu EverBeetle extract", "Shadow isle marganium steel pod", like what? The thing is, your intent at throwing random nouns and adjectives together to come off as super original or archetypal of this "Torah'ehn Sky Fortress" is so transparent that it comes off as lazy. even if it wasn't it's how it sounds. Perhaps write more than 1 paragraph of lore to make it all "make sense"? I am being harsh, I know I am. You liked my champion design and lore and I appreciate that but I'm not just gonna blindly praise this just cause you gave me props. If that's what you were looking for then just stop reading my reply now. I don't intend to be mean what so ever, I am just going to be candid with my thoughts.

From a high level view, which is how I like to start understanding a kit, (1) you got a Skill Shot Q that is a slower to activate but better CC trundle piller - oh that also damages. Again here it seemed like you were more focused on getting a reaction like " woah this weaver guys bottle explodes into a shuriman pillar whaaat how do those things go together?!? " (2) W is heal, not sure why it's a S.S. (3) a defensive spell (4) Doesn't have a place in this MOBA, but from what I gathered its a bubble shield that buffs allies inside. All in all, I'd say yeah fits a support role.

Starting with the passive, I get trying to come up with new mechanics but there's gotta be a reason why. Yea this characters lore is tied to being a Vendor and what not, but for what reason is this the passive, why does buying items for cheap and selling them at full price his passive. If i cant answer that by reading the kit, I think there's a problem. Current league champs have this problem. I would like to have seen something along the lines of, "Gorhban buys items at discount, and can sell back at full price. The items Gorhban buys have special effects - say 15/30/45% of item stats are granted to nearby allies in total (not everyone gets 45%, 45% split by 4), also Gorhbans items decay overtime say 3 mins 50% less effective, 6 minutes 90% less effective." Something like this that would give reason to constantly buy and sell and buy and sell items. Literally just came up with that on the fly and it's actually kind of cool. Oh also, you talked about "dorans Adoration' stacks but I don't think yo ever mentioned how to get those.

Q -- Like I mentioned above its a slow but better trundle pillar. There's a knock up and two mechanics of damage applied here. This seems it would be hard to hit as an engage too, but a great zoning and counter engage tool. I think trading the knock up duration for little to no delay for exploding an erupting the pillar. Something to think about. All in all no issue with this ability, seems legit.

W -- Why a Skill Shot? It doesn't damage or do anything to enemies so yea why a S.S.? I understand reddit has tossed up threads before about why aren't there more skill shot heals in the game bla bla bla, and while they're right, don't just slap oh by the way its a skill shot on a healing ability. Make it do damage. Make it hit enemies for a bit of damage, then when your ally damages them it procs for more damage. Then this makes sense being a skill shot, and instantly becomes a fun ability rather than just a heal.

E -- I got issue with this whole thing. People don't like being tahm kench eaten as his ally, kalista ult feels like garbage as an ally, the only one that feels good is thresh lantern. Lets really imagine what this would feel like as an adc. Your support uses this ability, some gargoyle comes out drags you to a new position that you didn't choose, and holds you in place. Lets not forget that it sucks 12.5% of your life away. You say that's not much, I say that's just unecessary. I can only think of this ability being useful in a getting dove oh shit situation. If I were the adc I would never want this ability used on me. My biggest issue with this ability is that I can only imagine that you thought of how cool it would look for a stone gargoyle to drop out of the sky like galio and shield your adc. So you forced it into an ability. It feels forced, it reads forced. This is only useful in not in enough ways to be useful.

R -- I don't think this kind of thing belongs in league of legends. The skill behind this becomes how well can you allies naviate their item menu? Idk, just seems crazy gimmicky and again a bit forced with the whole merchant narrative. Keep the whole merchant narrative tie in within his passive for this kit. Honestly a general team buff of damage or health or whatever would make sense, on simple activation like sivir ultimate. Activate it and say like all allies get a patterned Gorhban weapon for like 10 seconds.

This is my opinion. This isn't fact or anything don't hang on my words. But also seriously give the Boards user guide a look for formatting. Much help. Also don't rush your designs. I've put months into my design that your read before I posted.