[Please Read] Being able to relate to Lux in my everyday struggle

**This is how I see myself as the character Lux, described through a descriptive essay. I also want to show how riot was able to save me through their game. I know it sounds cheesy, but by being able to relate to one of the characters in my favourite game, it made me not feel as alone... if that makes any sense. So, here it goes. **

_A fading light _

Opening her eyes, she saw nothing but impenetrable darkness. It felt denser than normal darkness, the type that makes us fear it because of the unknown. A constant feeling of disconnectedness.

Everything was the same and she had no sense of knowing whether she had opened her eyes or not. The air was stuffy but what disturbed her the most was the oppressive and unnerving silence within it. The faint drizzle of dripping from afar. Whispering as if someone was going to answer her but there was no response except for her fading echo. A peculiar scent of damp earthed and bruised rocks.

Fumbling from the wet mud, she moved forward with suction cupped footsteps. Her muddied clothes weighed her down. Unable to determine if the darkness would lead her into a tunnel or a wall hidden by it. Her mind began to play tricks on her in the darkness, causing her to reach out for something invisible.

The stalactite, stalagmite and limestone walls were reflecting something from afar, allowing her to see that they were all covered in a thick tar of darkness. A single light, as small as a match would seem bright in this empty cave. She traced her hand along the damp walls, using the darkness as her support to try to reach it. But as she progressed towards it, it seemed to be running away. She began to chase it, focusing so much on catching the light - until she slipped over a wet rock and fell into a void of darkness.

She became immersed in shadow as she fell into the glassy blackness of the mirrored surface. The ages of icy water water-logged her muddied clothes as she reached for something to hold onto but only met a slimy, black wall of rock. She gulped for air but was smothered by titanic amounts of salt water. Her panic echoed over the silent water. She was unable to shake off the vision of tentacles rising from the dark water. It crept along with her movements as she followed the faceless black wall until she encountered a rock rim. She climbed out of the water and began cowering as if there were invisible torturers all around her. She closed her eyes and was left with a sick feeling in her throat.

Suddenly, a glimmering gleam of diffuse red shone through her eyelids, fading and glowing back in a blink of an eye. It sent a warm shiver down her spine. She watched with anticipation, following it with her right eye as she hid the other. A speck of incandescent light meandering from one location to the next, replacing the darkness with tranquil light.

The light began to move away. The warm shivers faded into a cold grip. Each passing second widening the gulf between them. Her thoughts began to race. She stood motionless as fear began to take over her. She refused to give up and dipped her toes into the darkness, the thoughts were broken. She slowly eased herself into the icy water, the touch burning like frostbite, yet she still did not let go of the rocky surface. Determination told her to follow it. She let go. Floundering towards it as her weightless body was overcome by the feeling of burden.

A familiar, yet formless face looked at her from a distance. It was made entirely of light, drawing her in. The glow flowed through her body, making her feel weightless. Without hesitation, it disappeared. She searched the mirrored surface for it, seeing only her dull phosphorescent right eye in the reflection. Feeling no presences other than an ocean's worth of failure. Looking south, she saw nothing to go back to. Her last scraps of hope vanished. With every remnant of light gone, she began sinking. Her body turning translucent. Closing her eyes, giving up… disappearing.

Hitting rock bottom, she was met with a sharp pain, causing her to open her eyes and look at her lost form. There was nothing familiar about it. She had lost the light. There was nothing but the sound of her faint heartbeat. The darkness danced to her shaking throb. She looked within herself, searching deeper. She could not fear what lied beneath.

The sick feeling in her throat began to melt away. Her heartbeat merged into a pulsation of sound which began to flicker into iridescent colours, painting her skin with an opalescent sheen.

The light was her all along.