#A Corporate Matter
Episode: Hatred, Salt, And Everything Toxic. These Were The Ingredients Chosen To Create The Average League Player
"It's too much. MAKE IT STOP!"
"Whats wrong!"
"It's the Star Guardians. Everywhere you turn, Star Guardian this, Star Guardian that. The front page is filled with Star Guardian posts. We don't need a damn Star Guardian personality test."
"I think the Star Guardians are amazing. They save Runeterra from horrible ugly space monsters."
"You're only saying that because there is a Star Guardian Soraka now."
"The other gentlemen and I are very much offended that we are the, ahem, "horrible ugly space monsters." It's quite discriminatory towards Voidborn and Brackern kind."
"Dude, you guys are the villains in everything. Even here, the gentlemen, other than you, are seen as villains."
"DIE FOUL VILLAIN!"
"Today really sucks. COME AT ME YOU BLIMEY C-"
"Gets hit by the sword of justice."
"Should we, should we help him?"
"Nah, he'll get his re-"
Icathian Surprise kills Garen.
"venge, Welp, there it is."
"Come watch the new Star Guardian trailer! Also, play the new Star Guardian game mode!"
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! STOP!"
"Throws Phonerang at Orianna's head."
"I was just doing my job."
"Cries tears of oil."
"Awww, it's okay. Come here, give mamma a hug. CORPORATE GNAR, WE DON'T ATTACK INNOCENT GIRLS!"
"!!!"
"If I see one more thing related to the Star Guardians. You are all going to see a reenactment of Rampage."
"You tired of them too?"
"How do people keep getting in here? WHERE IS GUARD DOG WARWICK?"
"Huh, what? I'M HERE, NOT ASLEEP. NO ONE GETS PAST MY WATCH!"
"This is the third person today. Anyways, what do you want?"
"I'm off to complain to the boss that we have enough Star Guardians. I hear you hate them as much as me."
"Wow, we actually agree on something. Let's go!"
"Make sure you tell them at not all of us agree and we want more Star Guardians."
"Yeah, the Star Guardians are awesome! Lasers and stuff, pew pew pew."
"..."
"Yeah, I don't think he's going to tell him either."
Over in Corporate Mundo's office:
"So me give them missions with really good reward. But then Corporate Mundo make it nearly impossible to complete mission. Players play game extra to earn reward, but most don't."
"Yep, you truly are the greatest business man of our time."
"Boss, we need to talk."
"This Star Guardian thing has to stop."
"All the skins look the same, basic schoolgirl with anime powers and extremely short skirts. Except for Ezreal, who looks really out of place."
"That's my fault, I convinced him to add Ezreal as a Guardian."
"Beside, he look really smexy in that suit."
"Then at least add Taric so he doesn't look so out of place."
"And why do they all have floating cats with them now?"
"Stop spending resources on the same skin lines and tell Art Master Malzahar to work on some of the lesser explored skin lines. Like the High Noon skins."
"We no can do High Noon anymore. It trigger too many peoples."
"Me and pipsqueak actually agree on this. So you know we are right."
"Everyone back in my office agrees too."
"Shhhh, Corporate Mundo grow bored of you mouth moving. Instead, he tell you about new idea. Since player spend all money on Star Guardian."
"Rito, just kill me now."
"Me think we make Star Guardian animes. With new Character added in. The handsome but mysterious Dr. Edmundo. He be there as potential love interest for Star Guardian Ahri. He like furry tails. Things get awkward as Guardian home base only built to accommodate girls. But he make it work. His charm also cause Star Guardian Lulu to fall for him, dealing with feeling she no felt before she begin to hate friend Star Guardian Ahri for being Dr. Edmundo's love interest."
"That's just messed up man.."
"YOU CAN'T MAKE A SHOW AND WRITE YOURSELF IN AS THE LOVE INTEREST FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER AND ALSO A LITTLE GIRL! YOU ARE ONE SICK PERVERT, PLEASE GET HELP!"
"You should really read his fan fiction, it will make you lose all faith."