#A Corporate Matter
Episode: You can choose who you queue with, but not who you work with.
"Welcome to this year thankfuls Corporate family dinner. And after terrible incident last year. Only Corporates allowed at this table."
"Look I'm sorry ok. I told her beforehand that we don't like our food beat with a sacred idol and mixed with the table. But she didn't listen."
"I know, women right?"
"Maybe comments like that is the reason you're getting divorced."
"That is not true. I have always treated her with respect, never nerfed her straight out. Provided for us so she could collect her broken swords. And after all that she just up and leaves. I don't know why."
"Maybe it's because you kept hitting on my assistant!"
"No, she didn't care at all about that. BUT NOW THAT I'M AVAILABLE, YOU WILL BE MINE SONA!"
"Yells to her at the other table."
"..."
"Hey, you might have a chance. She obviously thinks you are number one."
"When are we gonna get to eatin'. Me and my lizard are hungry."
"Have patience young Corporate. We shall feast on the Baconivia when it is done. Just but a few more minutes."
"Me think it good decision Corporate Mundo put in you charge of this year dinner."
Over at the underling table:
"Welcome to our version of the dinner."
"You mean the kid's table?"
"This table isn't any less important than that one. It's just they only talk boring Corporate stuff and want to spare us from that."
At the Corporate Table:
"And so I says to her, I says. I know Art Master Malzahar. If you are gonna be that rude to be about the price and the lack of a sale. I'm gonna go tell him to hold off on finishing Elementalist lux for another week. The look on her face was priceless."
"Hahahaha, I bet she regrets that now. How'd you get Malz to do it?"
"Oh, I simply offered to change the way his voidlings work so that you didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out."
Back at the underling table:
"Yeah, I'm sure it's real intellectual over there."
"Well I'm glad to see most of us survived the year with our Corporates. Except for Vayne, what happened to her?"
"Oh, Corporate Lee Sin got bored with her. So he fired her and got me. which works, because he has always favored be in his patch notes."
"And lux, you are new here as well."
"Yep, Corporate Lucian decided he needed help in what he is doing."
"Which is? TELL ME WHAT HIS SECRET PROJECT IS, I NEED TO KNOW!"
"Nope, he said he would personally hunt me down hand deliver my pure soul straight to thresh. But jokes on him, it's nowhere near as pure as everyone thinks. Hahahaha."
"So Leona, how has it been working with Korporate Kled?"
"Really crazy. I was worried after he decided to take me away from Corporate Kayle to work with him. But he is surprisingly nicer than she is."
"I can attest to that."
"Definitely much crazier. It's fun."
"..."
"Wow, that was rude and inappropriate."
"Yeah, she's always like that. Just try to ignore her.
"On a more positive note. Since I have recently taken up barbecuing, I brought some delicious sausages for everyone."
"FOOD!"
"Oh, you are so cute! Here you go Señor Porokins, have some sausage."
"..."
"What did you just say to me!"
"..."
"You're right, I heard you. You better apologize or I will show everyone who counters who."
"..."
"That's it, time to take a page out of Kled's book. DIE DIE DIE!"
"Lunges at Sona."
Over at the Corporate Table:
"Tada, the feast is on!"
"Finally, I'm not going to let anything get in the way of my bacon this year."
Sona and Leona's fight keeps going, and they are heading straight for the dinner table.
"I'LL RIP YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD OFF!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Goes mega."
"BACK AWAY FROM THIS TABLE AND GO SIT BACK AT YOURS!"
"!!!"
"But but, she is being so mean to me, and she needs to be-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Okay, going."
"Sits down and begins shoveling boulder-sized piles of food into his mouth."
"Maybe I can just have a litt-"
"RAAAAARRRRRWWWW!"
"Corporate Mundo think it best you let big hairy monster employee finish eat first."