New free champion rotation: Ezreal, Janna, Jayce and more!
Greetings Summoners!
Here are this week's free champions:
See you on the Fields of Justice!
Greetings Summoners!
Here are this week's free champions:
See you on the Fields of Justice!
A Corporate Matter: A Corporate Christmas.
"Merry Chri-"
"NO, DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE."
"Uhhh, ok. Why?"
it's happy Snowdown around here. None of us can be seen saying anything else. Lest we offend someone. It's so easy to offend people these days. I mean, just look at what happened over the StarLux cups."
"You seem to be a bit paranoid. Here, maybe this red Holiday Hat will help you."
"I am not wearing this."
"WEAR IT!!!!"
"Ok ok, but you need to wear this green one, so you like the elf helper that you really are. Man, this thing is itchy."
"So, what did you get me? It is the season for giving, after all."
"..."
"Sona, that is really mean. Of course he got me something. He isn't that cheap."
"No, she is right. I never get her or anyone anything ever. No point in spending my hard earned gold on something you probably won't even like."
Wow, you are even cheaper than I thought. It doesn't have to be anything big, even like, a Doran's ring would be nice. It's the thought that counts, not the price tag. Can't you do something nice for someone?"
"Oh, that reminds me. Poppy got a rework and needs to be free. I had better go tell her."
"They head on over to the Room Of Freedom. Where all the free versions of champions wait in their cages."
"Oh, great and mighty decider. Have you come to have mercy on someone like me this Snowdown?"
"Well, you just got reworked. Which means you are no longer toxic to the game and we don't have to worry about you ruining a whole free week. And it has been three and a half years. Would you like to be free?"
"Oh yes, it would be the greatest gift someone could give me."
"Alright, well then I guess. YOU CAN WAIT A LITTLE LONGER!"
"Oh cruel world, what have I done to deserve this?"
"Cries."
"Another poppy kidnapped me and used me as her own personal pinball game last week. So I am not happy right now."
"Wow, that is really mean, boss. You shouldn't be such a scrooge."
"Oh come one, it's not like anything bad ever happened to someone for pulling a prank like that."
"Corporate Mundo hope you no mind him popping in."
"SWEET ILLAOI GLOBAL RECALL SOUND!!!! You scared me, what do you want?"
"Corporate Mundo here to tell you. You need come to cabin in woods for Snowdown vacation tomorrow. It be mandatory or you be fireded. Also, you need pick up Snowdown tree for cabin, goodbye."
"Wait! Where do I? Awh, nevermind, he is gone. Alright, we best get ready to go. I need to figure out where to get a tree from."
"It twas the very next day. Corporate Gnar had managed to get himself lost alone in the woods as his search for a tree continues."
"Jeez, I can't see a thing. This Blizzard sucks. Really wish it hadn't blown away my map and my gold."
"He continued through the snow. Hoping that along his way he would find someplace to get a suitable tree. He appeared to be getting a bit grumpy, and may have started talking to himself."
"Hey! Old St. Zilean, Santa Gragas, even Workshop Nunu. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Corporate Mundo, my boss, right here in this storm with me. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Morellonomicon Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, autolocking, low-life, Never ganking, dirt-eating, insane, overstuffed, ignorant, Life stealing, Warwick kissing, brainless, kill-less, toxic, heartless, feeder, bug-eyed, scrub, always talking in the third person, Purple headed sack of Wukong dung he is! Hallelujah! Holy Rito! Where's my elixir?"
"It seems that Corporate Gnar may have finally lost it. Let's hope he doesn't find the Chainsaw."
"I CAN HEAR YOU, WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!!!"
"Oh, oops. I had better be quiet before he breaks any more of the fourth wall."
"Must keep going. There has got to be a sign or something somewhere."
"Smacks foot against something hard."
"MISS FORTUNE! Ow, that hurt. What is this buried in the snow? IT'S A REAL SIGN, HUZZAH!"
Magical Snowdown tree continue and chop one down,
_** yourself.**_
"What luck! I may get a tree after all."
"As he walks away, the wind blows. Revealing the rest of the sign."
Magical Snowdown tree-ent housing Do not continue any further. They are nocturnal and do not like visitors. If you chop one down, they will seek revenge, until you are dead yourself.
"Alright, this tree looks good. Now, where is my axe? No axe, not my weapons too. CURSE YOU BLIZZARD!!!!! Well, I feel a bit more talented than usual. Maybe I can make one out of this rock and stick."
"It takes a few hours, but he manages to make some sort of tool and chop down a tree."
"you may have taken my items from me blizzard, but you have given me talent. I am the hero of this storm! No, how do I get back to the cabin? Uh oh."
"Another few hours find our Corporate Gnar still lost in the woods. He has been dragging the tree with him the whole time. And it's weight is beginning to take a toll on him. It is also beginning to get very dark."
"Can't, go, on, much, longer. At least this hat Soraka gave me is keeping me warm this far. But I will freeze to death soon. I might have to go Mega Gnar. UAHDHUAHDUAHFHUGHREUHGUERHGUYUA!!!!!!"
"He concentrates really hard, but nothing. Not even a muscle bulge."
"Nope, too cold to be hot with rage. Guess I am going to freeze to death. Alright, goodbye tree, you are not worth dying over."
"Walks for another few minutes after abandoning the tree."
"Why me, is it because I have been so cheap and not gotten anyone presents. Maybe because of what I did to poppy earlier. Naw, that is only the reasoning in sappy movies. It is really all Corporate Mundo's fault."

"Gnar gada!"
"Snow Day Gnar, is that you? What do you want?"

"Goova."
"This must be a hallucination. Well, if I am going to die here, might as well die insane."
"Follows Snow Day Gnar Through the storm."

"Vigishu!"
"Is that the cabin? YOU'RE NOT A SNOW MIRAGE, YES. WARMTH HERE I COME!!!!"
"After a very long day, Corporate Gnar has finally made it to the warm cabin. Everyone he knew was there and they put a cup of Hot Cocoa in his hands immediately."
"You made it! We were so worried about you."
"I wouldn't have if not for Snow Day Gnar, but why is he here?"
"..."
"Your boyfriend, Bard, is part of the Snow Day Club? So he got his friends there to help me. Well, thank you, Bard."
",,,,"
"Thank you guys again for letting me come. The holidays with the other Gentlemen are terrible. All they do is make fun of poor people and pick on Tiny Tahm."
"But how are you all here, even Recon Teemo made it."
"Oh, I don't want to be. But I didn't get much of a choice. SINCE I AM STILL IN THIS CAGE!"
"Bard again, he used his magical journey to get everyone here."
"Oh, but I didn't get the tree, I left it out there. Now I am so going to get fired."
"No worries, Snow Day Bard sent me to get it after Snow Day Gnar told us you dropped it. Turns out my W works on trees as well."
"Corporate Mundo say that Snow Day Bard be really magical. He save Snowdown, and me thank him."
"And there they all were. All Seven Corporates, all six Snow Days. Soraka, Recon Teemo, Guard Dog Warwick. They listened intently as Gentleman Kog'Maw sang every Holiday song he knew. While Sona and Snow Day Bard played the instruments. Everyone laughing and smiling, it was truly a wonderful time."
"DECK THE HALLS WITH PUKED UP ARMOR, FALALALALALALA!!!!!"
"My enhanced sense of hearing lets me appreciate his beautiful voice. You are really lucky to work with someone like him, gnarly."
"Today is a wonderous day."
"This is boring, no one is being toxic. I haven't gotten to hand out any perma-bans today at all."
"Yes, buy everything in the Snowdown shop. I know you already own Hired Gun and Project: Lucian. But Striker is 70%, you know you wanna."
"Come on Poro stevens, we are going to build to biggest snowman ever."
"I'll get the snow nice and ready."
"And I will throw it on top."
"Have yourself, a positive little snowdown."
"How long until this ham is done. Being a Guard dog makes you really hungry."
"I haven't been this happy in a long time. You know what Soraka, you are right. I am going to say it. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!"
Over at a news station:
"This just in, we are receiving word that the Corporates only care about Christmas. This is truly offensive. We recommend that anyone who celebrates Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or anything other than Christmas completely boycott league. And send them as many hateful messages on twitter as you can."
Meanwhile:
"Honey, I'm home. Honey, where are you. Why is there a tree stump here. BABY NOOOO! I WILL FIND OUT WHO DID THIS! OR MY NAME ISN'T FESTIVE MAOKAI!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thank you all for reading, all the nice comments and upvotes you have given me since I started doing this. It really means a lot, this has been a great year. So, Happy Holidays, and have a very Corporate Christmas. See you again next week. ♥
(Turns out that there is a character limit on the comments, and I hit it. So I need to leave this message here.)
Also, I actually made two different parts, depending on whether or not poppy was free. So Riot decided that Corporate Gnar would be a jerk. Here is the other version, where poppy got to be free:
Wow, you are even cheaper than I thought. It doesn't have to be anything big, even like, a Doran's ring would be nice. It's the thought that counts, not the price tag. Can't you do something nice for someone?"
"Fine, I just remembered that Bad Santa Veigar kinda kills you if you are naughty this time of year. I will do something to get on his nice list. Follow me."
"They head on over to the Room Of Freedom. Where all the free versions of champions wait in their cages."
"HEY, ITS THE DECIDER!!!!! CAN I BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!! I AM ONLY HERE FOR POPPY AND NOT YOUR SORRY BUTT."
"But it's Chris-"
"DON'T YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE. OR I WILL PUT YOU IN THE CORNER WITH YORICK, AND DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT. YOU AIN'T MUCH HEALTHIER TO THE GAME THAN HIM!!!!!!!!!"
"So, where is that nice part you were just talking about?"
"HEY YO POPPY, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU WERE FREE AGAIN?"
"THREE AND A HALF YEARS, SIR!"
"WELL, YOU CAN STOP COUNTING. IMA MAKE YOU FREE FOR THIS WEEK. HAPPY SNOWDOWN!"
"Wouldn't it have been easier to just walk over to her instead of yelling from across the room?"
"I have little legs, it takes a lot of steps to get all the way over there."
Beyond The Void: Episode 2
Three years ago in the Void World...
"There has been an awakening!"
Scouring "Are you positive? Last time you mentioned an awakening, we lost Shurima to... that fool!"
"Yes, this time there is no error in my calculations. Something big has just arrived in Runeterra, something that will most definitely be able to unleash the true power of the Void onto Shurima!"
"Send me more information about this creature. We need to become more productive, starting... NOW!"
"Well before we start this hunt, can I see your face? I haven't seen it for 12 hours now... it just makes my day to see my boss all nice and dandy"
"Alright, fine. But afterwards, you must only think about the hunt"
Reveals himself
"Happy?"
"Yes, sir."
Vel'koz heads out through the portal, leading the best of the void army to Runterra.
Two hours later...
Vel'koz halts his army after a long march. A total of thirty soldiers including Vel'koz (disguised as ordinary soldiers) made it to their first stop, Bandle City (City of Yordles). Vel'Koz finds a random creature walking down the path towards the hearth of the city.
"You there! You must tell me how to find this creature (shows a picture of Rek'sai). If you refuse to lend aid, it is rumored that this creature will destroy all of Runeterra!"
"Don't talk to me you unworthy scum! I have my own dark plans for this city."
"How dare you-"
Veigar uses his "e" ability and stuns all thirty men
"Shh! Don't yell, or the scouts will come! You know what? Screw you guys!"
A dark cloud with little sparkles appears above Vel'koz, the stun now wears off. However, just as the dark magic is about to hit Vel'Koz, one of his best men pushes him aside and takes the damage, making him go into a dark sleep, forever.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! You will pay for this!"
Veigar rushes away from the scene. A tiny girl with a cannon shows up immediately after he leaves.
"It is going to be alright. We have some very good doctors in the city that can revive him temporarily. Looks like another murder is going to be added onto Veigar's crime document."
"Why can't you guys catch him?"
"He has very close ties with this ice witch. If that is true, then messing with Veigar or even sending him to jail will ensure this city to ruins."
Recognizing who that is "Yes, the wicked ice witch. Shall we go?"
"Oh yea! Sorry, sort of got sucked in the moment."
The soldier is transported into the nearest emergency facility in the city. The rest of the soldiers were allowed to roam within the city and take the night off. Tristana realizes that Vel'koz has never been here before and takes her to the Central building.
"Well, here we are! Make yourself comfortable. Heimer will be here any moment to provide you with any information you might seek."
Tristana leaves and heads back to the emergency facility (hospital). Vel waits for another thirty minutes until Heimer shows up.
"Oh no no, please sit"
"I wasn't planning on standing, you wouldn't realize the difference even if I did."
"I presume that you are not here to listen to me talk about my latest inventions or even about the history we have had with Veigar."
"That is correct. I wish to learn more about this purple creature that is rumored to be part of the void. It is very dangerous and can become more powerful with rage. We all came here because apparently the monster traveled through here."
"Oh my! Look at the time! It is 2:45am already! When did you guys get here?"
"Around 10pm. Do you have any additional information that might help us?"
"Ummm-"
_ Something emerges out of the darkness of the room that was unlit by the candles, with rage._
"Yes, he has valuable information. Some of them include... HOW TO GET RID OF YOU!"
Reksai charges at Vel, slashes her three times and then creates a burrow and rushes away. The terrified Vel was now on the verge of dying.
"I am so sorry.. If you had gotten here a few minutes earli-"
Bleeding out "QUIT THE SWEET TALK! TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL!"
"I'm afraid I cannot do that."
With immense pain "WHA- ARRRG!"
Heimer comes close to Vel's ear (or what would be Vel's ear), but steps around the blood so that his shoes remain clean.
"There is one person that might be able to cure you. She lives 34 km west of here and her job is to heal victims with her lovely music. However, if you don't make it there within the next three hours, you're dead."
Starts to leave, then stops.
"Oh yeah, be careful. You don't want to run into any more monsters, so avoid the jungle."
He leaves
34 km west of Bandle City...
"Pls, can you heal me for a cheaper price? My healing is not working, something took it away from me when when I was hunting!"
"Sorry, I cannot do that. You either pay me at the price I say or go to that wretched Karma and attempt to get healed that way."
Scoffs "You BIT-"
Enters by blasting the door with his magic "WOAH WOAH, LADIES! Let's keep it PG in here, OK?"
"Whenever you appear, the outcome always turns rated- R.... What do YOU want?"
"There is a void creature in need of your help, she is coming from Bandle City."
"Oh my gosh! Is it Vel?"
"How the FLIP do you know h- you know what? I'm on a time limit here, so I'm just gonna kill you."
"No more deaths today! ARRHHHH!"
She throws her spear at Veigar, dealing tons of damage. She then turns into a magnificent beast and leaps at him, clawing at his face. Before Sona could help, Veigar stuns her and kicks Nidalee back.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"
He points his wand at Nidalee and shoots a huge box of dark magic. Nidalee leaps out of the way, but the poor Sona, who just became un-stunned was too late to move. The box hit her and she flew back into the wall of the office and died instantly. The place was a mess, not to mention that the door was gone and the wall now had a huge dent in it. Veigar looks at Nidalee with envy and walks to towards her slowly and creepily.
"Please, let me go! I will do anything to stay alive!"
He stops "Now that's what I want to hear! Well, pack your bags, we have a long journey ahead of us!"
"Where are we going?"
"To see a boy who can shatter time."
This was a flashback episode. I will not make them every week, but they will be posted every so often so that the story in the present can be explained more thoroughly and so that the plot remains strong.
So far, I have no intentions of continuing the Veigar and Nidalee journey to go meet the boy who shattered time. If you want me to at a future date, please feel free to comment that you would enjoy to read that story.
Also, feel free to comment about which character you like the best so far. This would help me to determine which characters should show up more often and which characters should not.
Beyond the Void: Christmas Special
In the throne room of the Noxian Castle...
"Ahhh! It feels so nice to sit in a chair that will be occupied by myself in a couple of years."
_Darius watches as all of the workers carry in christmas lights and the grand tree. _
"Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that. After all, (rotates his axes with speed) I am capable of executing far beyond your reach."
"You did not just go there!"
"Yeah... I did."
"Pffft! Whatever! The only thing that matters now is that this tree is the best in all of Runterra."
"It will be since we somehow convinced the lamb to do the dirty work. What a fool!"
"I heard that you idiot!"
"What if... we got the missing link to do our work?"
"You realize that he can turn into a giant monster, kill all of us and take down Noxus, right?"
"I'm not that stupid. Word has it that he has changed into a more corporate being."
A few hours later...
"I invited you and only you, who the hell are these people?"
"Oh these are just some of my friends! For a efficient special episode crossover, you need to bring the main gang."
"Hi!"
"Just come in, we have hot chocolate and a great pentakill band playing tonight."
"Shut up! You work for me now."
"What the hell?--"
"You want me to turn into a giant monster and ruin your tree?"
Draven jumps in.
"OF COURSE! HE WOULD LOVE TO WORK FOR YOU!"
Aside to Draven "Hehehe.. you jerk."
In the end, it was all fun and games. They all laughed throughout the night, drank eggnog (except for Gnar) and threw hard red tomatoes at the Pentakill band.
Draven undercutting Darius since his release

A free week with Cho wouldn't be so bad

I'm pretty sure that Snowdown isn't the same as Christmas, as when Riot had their first Snowdown, they were making Christmas-themed skins. Good writing though, as always.
By the way, have you ever thought of making a page containing all of the "A Corporate Matter" posts that you've made since you started making them so that people wouldn't have to look through every free champion rotation?
Great Christmas Vacation reference
"Hey! Old St. Zilean, Santa Gragas, even Workshop Nunu. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Corporate Mundo, my boss, right here in this storm with me. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Morellonomicon Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, autolocking, low-life, Never ganking, dirt-eating, insane, overstuffed, ignorant, Life stealing, Warwick kissing, brainless, kill-less, toxic, heartless, feeder, bug-eyed, scrub, always talking in the third person, Purple headed sack of Wukong dung he is! Hallelujah! Holy Rito! Where's my elixir?"
Absolutely fantastic. Love what you do dude, keep it up!
A Corporate Matter: Episode 44
"Soraka, would you please stop throwing poros at me. That's nine times already. It's getting extremely annoying."
"Sorry boss."
"..."
"Ohh come on Sona. You threw some too."
"throws a poro at Corporate Gnar."
"Oww. I THOUGHT I SAID TO STOP THAT."
"Sorry, I just couldn't resist."
"What is this circle around me. Is pantheon ulting m-
BOOOOOOOOM
"Greetings. I am the Poro king and I have come to.... wait where is Corporate Gnar?"
"You're on top of him. I think."
"Oops, sorry."
"gets off of Corporate Gnar."
"As I was saying, I came to wish you a merry snowdown and... wait, someone just got ten poros. Bye."
"flys off into the sky"
"Well that was certainly interesting."
"..."
"Ohh yea, I forgot."
"Heals Corporate Gnar in a instant."
"Uhhg, you had to throw that last poro."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know that the poro king would come crashing down through our roof."
"We'll see how you like it."
"throws a poro toward Soraka."
"OWW, WHO THREW A PORO AT ME."
"AHHHHHHHH."
"Faints."
BOOOOOOOM
"I'M BACK."
(This is not the real A Corporate Matter, just something I made last night)
Great story!
Thank you.
: 20% more wannabe leaps from the brush.
: 70% more shielded turrets.
: 44% more long shots flying by.
: 86% more yoga sessions breaking out on the Rift.
: 99% more cooldowns blown on Invulnerable targets.
: 50% more creatures leaping from the brush at you.
: 5% full auto carries gunning down turrets.
: 61% more escape lines used.
: The other 50% creatures leaping from the brush.
: 53% more squishies dying approaching the brush.
All statistics are made up on the spot. Enjoy.
its more like:
40% more warded bushes
100% more paranoid adc's or 35% more people failing the triple Q
its more like:
40% more warded bushes
100% more paranoid adc's or 35% more people failing the triple Q
That too
More like: 100% more people sneaking down mid surrounded by their team hoping that they win the HUnt
is someone I always wanted to try support with. Should be fun.
Zyra isnt a support she is a midlaner...one that has no counter if you know how to play her well.
Doesn't it say on Zyra's champion page that her secondary role is Support? I've also fought her as a support character and let me tell you that ult combined with a Vayne's stun is god-tier cruel lol.
well yeah...but its just like annie is a support and lux is a support. Better midlane. You can play her support, but you'll probably take more kills than you help give, and, if you play her right, you'll end the game with the most damage on both teams. So imo she's better mid, because you get to your powerspikes sooner, and can do more.
At least free
and
week is over
Is it against the summoner's code to spoil Star wars the force awakens in all chat if the enemy jungler steals my buffs?
Lots of thrill of the hunt 
its "the hunt' not thrill of the hunt...
Im kinda confused on the preseason and season can someone explain it to me?
Kitty(
) is f2P :D
I can finally start learning Stabby Kitty, since I don't own him yet
I can finally start learning Stabby Kitty now, since I don't own him
As a guy who frequents ADC: Oh man....
oh god, oh man...
...oh god
, oh man
, oh god
, oh man, oh god!

Come come kitti kitti your so pretty come come kitti stay with me 
Hey King Dellron can you make corporate gnar kiss someone under the mistletoe, like soraka maybe.lol I wanna see gnar's reaction to that one.
Kayle- "This is boring, no one is being toxic. I haven't gotten to hand out any perma-bans today at all."
Umm... I was perma-banned today so that's kinda wrong... :/
and
have been on rotation together for 3 times in a row this needs to stop Rito!
You might as well make them a
skin because they are both hunters and as far as free week is concerned there is "Never one... Without the other"
After actually counting they have been on free rotation 7 times in a row.
Sooo where is the free
for a week, I don't think I've seen him free....
He has been removed from free rotation for a VERY long time.
All the Naut mains, All the Naut mains!
All the Naut mains, All the Naut mains!
Knock your foes up!
Fo-ooh-oh-wah-ard,
Fo-ooh-oh-wah-ard!
(Sing to the tune of the All the Single Ladies chorus)
Thank you sooooooooo much RIOT!!!!!
Pretty amazing ARAM champions this week. All of them are good save for Kha'zix and Rengar. Guess it is time to boot up an ARAM only account.
carry time on
akou biua jawbgey lopbawgal okawagofreck .
I need some Kindred in my life 
How long do we have these dudes open for?
ok
Hi
