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Advice on dealing with tilted friends?

Desolas Arterius·10/14/2016, 3:35:21 PM·1 votes·3,057 views

I'm in quite a pickle with this topic. Slightly a rant, but mostly wondering how people deal with friends that get tilted easily or are not fun to play with, but you don't want to sever your relationship with them because of a game.

Background:

I play regularly with a few people. My fiance, our best friend, a married couple, my brother, and another friend. We all regularly switch off depending on who can be on that day. I'm usually a pretty patient person with my group when it comes to helping and calling shots. Usually my brother is the "lead" in our group, but when he's not on I usually take over :P

Overall it's pretty fun playing with them, except when the married couple tilts really hard... Both of them are pretty guilty of it, but they wont admit they're getting tilted, and most of the time they never calm down. I've tried staying positive for them, saying we can win or not to worry, but nothing really seems to work. I know they're both pretty low elo (bronze), so they don't understand the game that well nor have the time to get better (they have 2 kids and one on the way). But it's really tough trying to have fun with them.

The things that get them extremely angry and tilted is pretty much anything off-meta or when they're being outplayed by the enemy. And it can get really, really bad... I've never seen someone get so angry at a game that they quit mid game and lock themselves in the bathroom because they're so frustrated.

And in all honesty, I don't know how to deal with it. I've tried but most of the times I have to walk around eggshells around them. They don't like advice when it comes to builds and how to play (especially for their favorite champs), and they don't listen to any of us when we tell them to calm down or that off-meta/odd strats are a part of the game. The husband even got super angry over a proxy Signed saying things like "Oh this is so dumb! This isn't even a real strategy how is he even winning!? Oh look at me I'm a stupid Signed who can't play a real strategy". And don't get me started on how fast both of them give up and want to surrender.

If he plays against anything he thinks is "off-meta" in top or bot he instantly wants to surrender or says the game is over. Even when the rest of us tell him we can easily win this, we just need to group and pick them off, he just tries to surrender or gets more frustrated.

It's a really tough situation. I don't really enjoy playing with either of them, but I've known them for over 3 years and they're still really nice people. They're just really rough to play with because of their attitudes. I don't care if they suck at the game, I just prefer playing with positive people who can laugh off a mistake or not foam at the mouth over Rengar/Thresh bot and yell over coms how they "must suck so bad they can't even play real champions botlane" (whatever the hell that means).

Any advice is appreciated though :) even if I've already tried it, perhaps it might help others in the same or similar situation as me.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest~

8 Comments

Dolasaur10/14/2016, 8:13:32 PM2 votes

First, assuming you continue to play with them for a while, don't offer up advice on how to play unless they explicitly ask for it. Very few people have the humility and accepting nature to consider that sort of advice as anything other than an attack, regardless of external factors (such as you being Faker and them being Bronze5, or them losing lane 0-15 to your main champ, or whether you have good intentions or are just generally an arrogant know-it-all). If they ask "why am I doing so poorly" or "how can I get better", that's your cue to say "If that wasn't rhetorical, I can give you some suggestions."

Anyway... it sounds like you've tried a variety of things, but that couple doesn't have the temperament to enjoy the game. And if you continue playing with them and they continue to be anti-fun, then you're going to start holding it against them (even if only subconsciously).

If you want to stay friends with them, consider having the tough conversation sooner rather than later. "I really like you guys. You have great taste in sci-fi movies, we have the same favorite types of chocolate chip cookies, and that four-way we had last week blew my mind. But I'm not having fun playing League together. So let's do the other stuff instead." Then you might get to keep your cookie eating buddies.

But if the resentment keeps building up over them being toxic at League, you might totally lose them. And in the meantime, you're sacrificing your happiness in game, as well as your fiancée's, and it might be stressing you out beyond the boundaries of the game too (since you're worried enough about it to post here). How much stress is it giving you, and is it worth the cost to keep playing with them? You'll have to decide for yourself.

Begeeta10/14/2016, 3:36:13 PM1 votes

To be honest don't play ranked with them or youll be stuck with them

ShinkoMinori10/14/2016, 3:44:55 PM1 votes

3 kids... are they rich or just irresponsible?

Morality Coach10/15/2016, 6:29:38 AM1 votes

Proxy Singed > Mormonism