I feel like my hard work at being a better person is paying off.

I used to be a very toxic player. I flamed team mates, left games and sometimes i even fed out of spite. When my account was at risk of being punished i took a half a year break from LoL to calm down and collect myself and recently I started playing again.

Today i can see that my road to being a better player is paying off and i am proud of the results.

In a game today i was playing Support Lulu and supporting a very toxic Vayne. Our lane did not go so well. She often rushed a head of me to try and 2v1 the enemy bot lane. Made stupid tower dives which resulted in her death and just overall got caught by the enemy jungler a lot. Despite my best efforts at supporting with shields, my ult and even the crucible i rushed for her she just played to reckless and there was not much I could.

Then came the blame game.

"Report Lulu, useless support" "Never play support again you trash" "Uninstall and KYS" "I lost because you cant support worth shit" Etc etc.

This went on and on, and for a good while i ignored it until...

"Lulu is so fucking bad, she should be banned from playing ranked and have her account wiped. Lets 4 man report this garbage"

After reading that i felt my heart race and my blood boil. No one was sticking up for me and this Vayne had pushed me to my limits. I was angry, i was tilted and now i was on the attack. My fingers went to work typing the first thing i would have said all game.

"You useless piece of shit sad excuse for a feeder. You blame me because you cant play safe for shit? Make yourself useful and go tie a noose for yourself you reject"

That was going to be my reply.

I had it all typed out. My finger was hovering over the enter key and like an addictive drug my body and mind craved it, begged me to hit that enter key.

But i didn't.

I stopped, closed my eyes and just relaxed. I thought about it for a moment and i knew if i hit that enter key i would be punished for it. Part of me said it was worth it, but deep down i knew if i lost this account, lost my hextech Annie skin and all my hard work i would never forgive myself.

My finger shifted from the enter key to the delete key and painfully i erased that reply. I knew at this point there was no getting through to this Vayne so i muted her.

With the toxic player silenced my sanity slowly began to return as the match went on. Despite it being so one sided i stayed through it to the end. Post game screen comes, i report the Vayne and leave without saying a word, she may not have be banned but her day will come, eventually. I just need to focus on making sure that day never comes for me.

But this game proved to me that my behaviour is improving and slowly i am becoming a better community member. I am using the mute function more often and offering encourgment to teammates who are having a bad game, rather then belittling them. And just recently i got a leaver buster pop up saying my account standing has improved because i am not leaving games anymore.

Reform feels good. The moral of the story is: if i can make the effort to be a better player then you can to. Dont give up and dont get angry. Keep your account safe from the most common threat to it, yourself.