Toxicity, Motivation, and a Confession
I enter every game with a positive attitude. When I make errors, I am the first one to call it out with, "Sorry, I thought that would turn out differently," or "Crap I screwed up, my bad." But my motivation to win a game begins to drop when toxicity is directed towards me, and I've found my threshold seems to be about 12 minutes. If the toxicity continues longer than 12 minutes despite attempts on my end to amend the issue, my motivation is completely gone.
I've been playing LoL for a long time. I think Sona had just come out when I first started playing. And for a long time, when I found myself in this situation, I'd just suck it up and keep trying to win with a team that had decided it was more important to bash a teammate than to focus on winning the game. However, I have come to realize that this situation is not ideal. It is not fun for me.
A couple of days ago, a team ate up my 12 minutes of sanity, 18 minutes into the game. We weren't even down by much, if we were down at all, and victory was more than a fleeting possibility, but I had had it. I did not want to win, not with this team. I didn't say a word. I didn't feed. I didn't AFK. I farmed. I avoided my team, and I farmed. If I encountered an enemy, I ran. If I didn't, I kept pushing. I might have even managed to take a turret or two, can't recall.
It turned out they needed me after all. We lost. I felt responsible. And it felt good. It felt really good.
In the end game chat, I explained my thoughts to my team, which was still clamoring to report me. And then I left.
On a common sense level, harassing your teammates is always contrary to the goal of winning the game, but sometimes those doing the bullying don't make that connection, because people like me keep trying, keep pushing to win despite the abuse. But I guarantee you that if every time a would-be bully starts harassing teammates they auto-lose the game, many of them will eventually learn to stop. I for one will not be a victim. A loss is a small price to pay.
