I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

Hello everyone on the Player Behavior board. I would like to tell you my story about how I changed my perspective on playing as a toxic player with the hopes that you too can be saved.

A long time ago on a rift that has long since changed, I learned how to play this game and took a liking to the top lane. I learned all the meta top lane toons and even some that weren't part of the meta at that time. I was fresh to the world of competitive league of legends. I played with a collective of friends that were still leveling and some that like myself were fresh level 30 accounts (season 2/3 time frame). In my early days, when i was still learning, i knew that flaming and griefing was a thing but instead combated it with "if im doing something wrong, can you tell me how to improve it?" to which i more often than not was greeted with something to the effect of "oh, sorry didnt realize you were new." As season 3 chugged along into season 4 and LoL get even more popular and started EXPLODING is when i noticed an even larger influx of people who had the sole intention of griefing. After a while it became a constant bombardment of toxic players and that was when i changed. I went from "bright eyed kid wanting to play a game" to "a grizzled vet who it was their way or the highway." in season 5 or 6 i had a bit of a spell where my addiciton to WoW took over and i found myself playing less and less lol and more and more wow. I had the symptoms of addiction to league though coursing through me that took me over again and i found myself playing a variation of support/adc in almost every game. I grew to love the role and found some success with it. However my toxicity was at an all time high since its not only a matter of keeping myself alive and farming, but having to worry about a support as well or ADC if im supporting. Game after game i tried starting off positive with the, "dang, well get them next time." or calling for a jungle/mid gank for our next try. Most of the time my lane partner would take a death or two. It wasnt quite the end of the game but if it was against certain characters it was almost a death sentence. After switching to primarily a support role i figured it would be better. HOLY MOSES WAS I WRONG OR WHAT? If a ward died and i didnt replace it in .01 seconds, i was flamed, ADC playing too aggro? KYS support. nothing i could do was right. I started flaming after what was mostly the season 6/7 time frame. I had come to be consumed with addiction to the game and was never happy while playing it. Then i got my first chat ban. 10 games. was pretty pissed about it and then i became a mine field of teemo shrooms coupled with Ezreal's "you belong in a museum" taunt. but i bit my tongue and suffered 10 games. At this point i started playing more normal and less Ranked to try and untilt and just get back into the right mindset for ranked. then it happened.... i got paired with a premade and these kids were rallying and working solely for the sake of infuriating whoever they played with. Constant bombardment of pings, 2 of them feeding intentionally running into enemy base i lost it and melted down on a nuclear level. I subsequentially got a 25 game ban. At that point i said to hell with it, the craving to play league was there but i had been burned by it enough to know it wasnt healthy. I stopped cold turkey. It was so unbelievably rough. All my friends would only want to play league and nothing else. I decided to go play playstation with my irl friends who i hadnt hung out with because they werent playing league, I went out and became more social and hung out in bars just to find some interesting conversation. I did everything but play league. When i took a moment to realize, that in the grand scheme of things, a game like league shouldnt consume you and that theres a perfectly good life to live outside of the rift. If you do bad, it sucks yes, but as long as you were your best you or learned from your mistakes or it made you a better player in some respect that was when you could truly enjoy league. Next time you get stuck with a Teemo support building full mage or an ADC morgana, dont let it bother you. It could always be worse.

TL:DR seriously just stop playing the game for a while and live life.