[help me?] MY REAL LIFE FRIENDS BEING TOXIC IN GAME BECAUSE OF ME :(

Équinøxe·9/8/2018, 1:58:36 AM·32 votes·15,546 views

~~Pardon my English. I tried. :(~~

So here's the story: Im a girl, silver 1, supp main, and I have some friends from my school playing league with me after we done our homework. yeah, like all friends do, we buy each other gifts on birthday and holidays, we hang out, I cry on their shoulders. Some of them are my friends for more than 5 years since elementary. ...but IDK why some of them being so toxic in-game, in front of other ppl in my lobby that they dont even know

'She's a trash. Fking noob only play supps' 'Yo stop ks-ing you trash' 'Bitch ping your enemies are u blind' 'never duo with her cuz shes trash' (even though that game i was a MID LUX with kda 12/2/6)

Are you guys just kidding? **I don't think so. ** So I decide -- today is my last day of playing with them, at least within this month. I don't think we have the same opinions of gaming.

For me, win

39 Comments

Umbral Regent9/8/2018, 2:12:16 AM16 votes

First and foremost, I just wanna get this out of the way;

I'm in a bad mood and I apology for if ive used some inappropriate language in this discussion.

You don't have to worry about swearing, as long as you're not doing it overmuch or throwing swears at other people. To quote Eric Cartman of South Park; "Fuck, fuckity, fuck fuck fuck."

That out of the way, I don't really deal with the same issue as you (most of my friends keep away from League, and the one that doesn't plays on a different server, so, can't really gauge if they're any different in-game from how they are when we chat), but, I can tell you this much:

The way you're handling your friends is great. There's no good reason for you to be playing with people who openly berate you and throw insults at you, much less people who get worked up and insult you over "ks'ing". The kills do not belong to anyone, and the only thing that matters is that the enemy dies, and you do not.

~~So next time your friends complain about "ks'ing", just tell them to git gud.~~

If League is made less fun by playing with them and having them insult you openly, whether or not those insults are in the presence of randoms or just between you and them - then absolutely, it's all the better that you don't play with them.

The only thing I would personally do extra - and I can understand why you wouldn't if you didn't yet and/or won't if you play with them again - is to report them for verbal abuse. The inevitable chat restriction and some personal admonition could hopefully be a kick in the ass enough to get them to stop - or at the very least, show you who of them is actually a friend.

Either way, good on you for taking measures to make your League games more fun. Like you said - you aren't weak. You're far from it.

Kei1439/8/2018, 2:24:02 AM9 votes

You should tell all of that to them in their face.

Or you can point them to this thread. As a support main, I refuse to team up with anyone that is abusive, regardless of how good they are.

If your friends are true friends, sit down with them and let them understand that their toxicity is not appreciated. Of course, if they say that you suck, then you can ask them for ways to improve. IF you want the friendship to continue.

You can also ask him (assuming the person who is toxic is male) if he thinks that being toxic is cool, and imitating people like ImaQTPie or Tyler1. You can then tell him that it's not cool.

BestPudgeNA9/8/2018, 2:54:35 AM6 votes

What does you being a girl have anything to do with this? What exactly do you want help with?

Agent Corgi9/8/2018, 3:31:25 AM4 votes

Shouldn't let them treat you like that if it really bothers you that much. You should talk to them & let them know how you feel about all that. If they're really your friends, they'd listen to you on the subject matter & hear you out.

'She's a trash. Fking noob only play supps'

"Noobs" aren't the only ones who play that role, Look at Aphromoo & BunnyFuFu, those guys are experts at the role & compete in LCS. That statement is false & that person doesn't know everything about that role. There's more to it than "PrOtEcT mE wArD sLaVe";

Maintaining Allied Vision on the map & Denying Enemy Vision
Healing/Shielding/Peeling for your teammates
When to start fights & Disengaging fights
Have Map Awareness & keep an eye on missing opponents

I'm sitting at Gold V currently because all I do is play Support, I've played nothing but Brand Support in Season 7 & Veigar Support Veigar for Season 8 (It's scummy, but it works). In the event I want to play other Champions that aren't Brand or Veigar, I play Sion Sion in the supporting role (Glacial Augment/Resolve) & lock everyone down with CC. Speaking of Veigar/Brand Support, this brings me to another point.

'Yo stop ks-ing you trash'

When I play Brand or Veigar in the supporting role, I will purposely Secure-Kills for our team (assuming that I know for a fact the carry can't get it) and allow my ADC/APC to farm up their items. When these two (Brand & Veigar) get their items, they instantly become the scariest things in the game & you can just carry the shit out of your games with them most of the time. Once in a blue moon, I do get the "STAHP KS'ING MEH!!!" message in chat. I just tell them to farm up & get items. Eventually they'll get Takedowns & they will snowball with you. Otherwise, the Takedowns you earn will let you snowball & you'll be able to carry on your own.

**"Death is the Best CC" -Unknown Source ** (If someone can find where this comes from, there's a Poro Snack item 2052 waiting for you)

'never duo with her cuz shes trash'

Lol, that's fine. When you Queue up on your own & make it to Gold/Platinum/Diamond on your own, you can reap all the rewards that comes with your effort.

I also have a friend that is extremely competitive & has spewed Venom plenty of times during Ranked. I was always quite during those matches & focused on what my Job was (If playing a Damage Support, Get kills & Snowball into a monster. If playing a Tank Support, Peel & lock the enemy down so my Carry Becomes a monster). If he blew up during the match, I just agreed with him that whatever happened was BS & reassured him that one of us will bounce off whatever happened.

In conclusion, don't let their General Toxicity get to you. Ranked is an extremely different place compared to Regular & people are going to lash out at eachother. If it bothers you & you don't want to deal with it anymore. Talk to them about it & if they refuse to listen, you can make that Solo/Duo climb on your own & make them eat their words. When another friend told me that I was always going to be Bronze Trash, I beat him to Gold V that season (And I did it again this season as well).

BLACK REALM GOD9/8/2018, 6:59:25 AM3 votes

you have shitty friends. spend your money on yourself instead of them.

Voldymort9/8/2018, 5:34:25 AM3 votes

You need better friends

GirI Gamer9/8/2018, 1:56:29 PM3 votes

They are friendzoned for life LMAO

Automated Riven9/8/2018, 6:53:35 AM3 votes

Here is an anecdote that happened with one of my friends earlier this year. I started playing with him and he would get super mad at me when I made a bad call or a mistake and start berating me over it. Because he wanted to win. I wanted to play for fun, It was normals.

So I told him, the second time it happened, That I was muting him in discord. After the game we talked and worked things out. Its very important to be clear in your relationships (if you value them to be edifying) over what your willing to put up with and are unwilling to put up with. If they refuse to abide by what you tell them then they arent worth being your friend. Because they dont actually care about you.

Just tell them the truth, It may suprise you the outcome.

Ifneth9/8/2018, 5:40:41 PM2 votes

Just leave them, both IRL and in-game. They’re obviously jerks whose real selves come out inder the pressure of the Rift.

Don’t even tell them why. Just ghost them and pretend they don’t exist when you meet.

Only After 2309/8/2018, 7:45:30 AM2 votes

My friend is a plat V that bitches about other plats.

My games are not fun.

(He is an overall good guy IRL mind you.)

[No joke. He is chill to play with in seasons where he is silver/gold, but as soon as he gets plat... lol]

Blackii79/8/2018, 2:19:57 PM1 votes

League makes people toxic, and playing certain champions makes people even more toxic.

Look for peeps to play with on forums, plenty of good peeps around here

usul12029/8/2018, 3:42:42 PM1 votes

What supps do you play? Cause nothijg is better than coming back to the flamers and being better than them casually. (I'm a supp main, used to do a bit of coaching when I had more time)

Also, they're not toxic cause of you, they take their toxic out on you, which isn't cool.

DedSix9/8/2018, 4:23:15 PM1 votes

It's too easy to get salty in league because timing is crucial, and there's a lot of micro-managing that can have you in hot-water if you're not on-par with the enemy.

Try playing other game modes that doesn't risk a thing.

BlueSmurf20189/8/2018, 5:52:32 PM1 votes

Damn, that sucks. I know someoen that got perma'd that was actually pretty good player, just kinda toxic. Feel sorry that u have such bad friends.. geez..

Kelg9/8/2018, 7:43:21 PM1 votes

They sound like an ass. Maybe it's time to get better friends.

Miku Append9/8/2018, 7:44:30 PM1 votes

Drop those shitty friends. I've been a support main while playing League for almost 5 years now. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Most times, we're relegated to support because our "friends" are glory hogs and are afraid to actually drop a fucking ward more than once a game.

ApollyonBainer9/8/2018, 9:01:26 PM1 votes

Some of my buds have a rough time playing together because of their competitive personalities. Our games are either kill chasers, decent actual league gameplay, or we get stomped.

Some parts may be their personality. But League has this way of bringing out the worst in people.

ignyte9/8/2018, 9:25:39 PM1 votes

Toughen up. Friends flame each other. if your friends dont shit talk you, they arent your true friends.

but really you should just get some thick skin and shit talk them back if you just sit there and let them insult you they are going to keep doing it. you should throw them off guard and have some fun back

next time one of them calls you a noob, say " youre garbage stfu, you couldnt play even play support against Easy Bots, let me show you how a real support plays"

if your friend/friends get mad at you insulting them back, maybe you should look for different people to play with. if they insult you but cant be insulted back they are a bunch of .....yeah.

theres never a day where one of my friends calls me trash/garbage/shitty, but i know they are just having a bit of fun with someone who is a friend.... at least i hope.

my thoughts. but i also might be misreading the situation

hrooza dota 9/8/2018, 10:43:09 PM1 votes

(For me, win<fun)

for me win/fun < both

anyway you should say that directly to them whatever its face to face/in game chat/ or using papers in the middle of an exam (not recommended)

Unlimited Ninja9/9/2018, 7:11:22 AM1 votes

Honestly, if it gets to the point where you aren't having fun playing with them then don't. You could tell them to stop which is entirely up to them which if they don't, then i would just stop playing with them and maybe find other people to play with. When I play with my friends we make fun of stupid things that we do because we like hanging out and playing games with each other so it makes the game that much more enjoyable.

Bijeesny9/9/2018, 9:32:10 AM1 votes

Talk it out with them, if they don't stop being toxic, stop playing with them.

Ardond9/9/2018, 9:33:18 AM1 votes

judging from the quotes, I'm just gonna take a page from old Urgot Urgot "I detect the presence of scum"

SanKakU9/9/2018, 9:57:15 AM1 votes

front of other ppl in my lobby that they dont even know 'She's a trash. Fking noob only play supps'

I know you probably don't own anything close to every champion, but you should learn every kind of champion as early as possible. Doing so will help you understand what your allies are expecting of you and make it easier for you to understand what they are going through.

'Yo stop ks-ing you trash'

This looks bad, but is this really in a lobby? And it's hard to pick this apart without a highlight or clip to understand what was meant. Are you sure they neglected to give you relevant information so you could do what you're supposed to do? If so, that's quite sad.

'Bitch ping your enemies are u blind'

I'm guessing this means if someone you were fighting with leaves your general area, they want you to give them the yellow ping at where you think they are now so they can put in their mind that they might be coming after them. I have to admit though, that is a very rude way of asking you to do that and if I was new I probably wouldn't be sure what they are asking of me.

'never duo with her cuz shes trash' (even though that game i was a MID LUX with kda 12/2/6)

It seems like they are trying to scare you away from playing with random players.

Are you guys just kidding? I don't think so. So I decide -- today is my last day of playing with them, at least within this month. I don't think we have the same opinions of gaming.

You are probably making the right decision. If you've been playing with them every game and they're trying to keep you as their ally in their group, that's an indicator to me that they are very afraid of playing with too many random players. You are one player they are at least aware of how well you play, but every extra random player is one more thing they don't know about so their fear is greater with each additional random player.

You'll learn to experience if you haven't already what it's like to play with random players. Honestly, groups of players I've found to be more difficult to manage and be diplomatic with and have fun with compared to random players. Maybe it's because they are too fearful and not very brave.

I want to thank you for making this post. You made it very clear to me why players like playing with their friends in groups so much.

Need Gold 4 Tent9/9/2018, 10:00:55 AM1 votes

It's a troll thing that I do with my old premade group at the LAN cafe. We'd rage in chat on purpose just to tilt the poor solo Q guy in the team for the fun of it. Like, we'd be laughing in front of the computer physically but ingame we'd be raging at each other.

the shushi9/9/2018, 10:20:18 AM1 votes

Main sup xd

NekoniClaws9/9/2018, 12:02:07 PM1 votes

Hello, late clicking on this.

All the people telling her to get good so her friends stop being toxic. SMH. People are still happy to flame good players- and are especially happy to flame high ranked players, or in toxicese: 'boosted tryhards'.

Step 1: Turn voicechat off. Step 2: If they ask, tell them it's getting too toxic for you, 'even if they're joking' Step 3: Keep voicechat turned off if they don't behave better.

You can try insulting them back, 'playing along' or giving them a taste of their medicine. But I did that and now I'm exiled. You know your friends better than me, so feel free to make that judgement yourself.

Phoenixdust9/9/2018, 3:40:52 PM1 votes

I think you really should discuss this with each other, if they are really good friends they will understand. If not, then they lost a good friend, and you lost a bad one :D

But are you totally sure, they are not only just teasing/bantering? I mean, I do exactly or even worse things with my friends in game, but we all know that these are jokes and go both ways. I flame them, they flame me back. Hopefully it is just a bad misunderstanding, and they think, that you take all the words as a joke, that's why they do this. If they continue this after you exactly say, you do not like it, then maybe they are not as good friends as you think.

But as I said, discussion is the key to everything.

Équinøxe9/19/2018, 10:31:25 PM1 votes

Thank you for all the replies! Even ppl who blame me XD yeah i make mistakes And yes, I talked to him (i forgot to check out my community notif mb.. 34 replies that's kinda scary lol). He sends me the apologie through league chat, but due to I delete him that day so I did not see it... We met at the school gym and he promised me he will never ever do this to me or anyone again. Welp, for me, he's not that trusted like before anymore. but we were friends for a really long time I don't think some argument in a video game will break our friendship so easily. So that's it. I did not do the things I said before in this post, including not playing this game with friends... He invited me for Odyssey mode with a couple more friends and that's not bad... But when I receive 2 lobby invites from him and another friend in league, he's not my first choice anymore.

But yeah, I did make more friends in school, and who cares if they play league or not :) [sg-lulu]

FullmuteAll play9/8/2018, 3:14:25 AM1 votes

This is a very weird form of friendship ,that for some reason divides you into 2 different persons. Which is very stupid. Let them know you are not satisfied with the way you they treat you. OR just don't play with them. I've never had such issues, but my issue is I am becoming too toxic with the friend [I usually have only positive communication irl] when I am playing in voice. That's because I am used to vent verbally playing league to avoid toxicity in chat. In your case 3 possible situtation: 1) you are not as good friends as you think 2) they differentiate you as irl person and virtual person 3) they actually want you to stop playing with them I recommend you to communicate this issue, if you are comfortable doing so OR. stop playing with them, or git gud. Whatever is more comfortable

Telephone Booth9/8/2018, 4:15:31 AM1 votes

I had a friend who would completely change around girls. He was real cool one on one, but in groups he had to have someone to make fun of. He would just turn into a douchebag when other people were around and I would usually be the target of his insults. Then when they're gone and I'm just working, he would come to my area and act all gay (like jokingly gay, something we would do for laughs) and all buddy-buddy. It's all good if that's just someone's personality. But when you completely change the way you act because of who is around you, I lose respect. Be yourself. I stopped talking to him completely and without his constant negativity, I started enjoying work again. Maybe you're just better off doing sort of the same thing. Personally, you probably should tell them how you really feel about it, which makes you very vulnerable... but it's the mature thing to do. Just be real. Be honest about it, and know that it's completely normal to feel the way you feel. Everyone does. But some see it as weakness, and they would never feel comfortable enough with themselves to show weakness, so they may make fun of you for it. But know why. It's their insecurities. Just be honest, tell em hey it's really like not fun to play with them when they act like that. If they scoff about it, so be it. At least you were honest.

KFCeytron9/8/2018, 5:07:20 AM1 votes

{quoted}

Im not weak. But I'm not a girl with a heart made of stone that can hold on from every toxic sentence come outta your mouth

This notion is frequently overlooked. It's unreasonable to expect people to handle everything you throw at them, and equally unreasonable to expect nothing to be thrown. Everyone has feelings as well as strength.

novac37219/8/2018, 5:18:39 AM1 votes

Hard to say whether its a joke or not, but me and my friends I know irl are way more toxic to each other than to strangers. Honestly, if you're 12/2 and they say you're trash, its probably a joke.

If you're not sure, or if it bothers you, try talking to them. It's really easy to just assign blame, but you say these people are supposed to be your friends, so I assume they're not always toxic.

if you talk to them you'll find out 1 of 2 things, either they're joking or they're assholes. If they are joking, but it still bothers you, just tell them you don't wanna deal with toxic shit, even as a joke, and that more wholesome comments are better. if they don't want to deal with that, you do you.

Its important to not assume everyone is an asshole out to give you a bad time, cause thats part of what leads to toxicity to begin with. Talk to them.

[galio-happy]

Saezio9/8/2018, 11:33:16 AM1 votes

Report them silently for each game and you will have gotten your revenge after a while ;)

Ionian Vulpix9/8/2018, 11:58:22 AM1 votes

Get different friends.

Or alternatively, get good so they aren't toxic to you.

zoliking9/8/2018, 12:27:39 PM1 votes

Talk about this to them in person, but keep it on your mind, that if they really respected you then this wouldn't happen. If they don't behave this IRL, then either this is the culture they learned playing games (which is kinda sad) and think this is how everybody treats everybody. In this case they are just stupid and can probably be explained that this is not okay. Or, in the sadder scenario, this behavior reflects the way they really think about you. In that case luckily you are young enough to make more, and more imporantly better, friends elsewhere.

Madjack019/8/2018, 12:36:29 PM1 votes

In my experience part of playing with friends is to absolutely demean each other and make fun out of every mistakes your friends do.

Making fun out of your friends is fun after all.

However just throwing insults at them without any sign of brain activity (like “Bitch are u blind“) behind them is the most degenerate thing I have ever heard.

They probably don't mean anything by it, but it is a sign of very lazy social etiquette.

Now excuse me, I need to go back to telling my friends to uninstall the game.

Edit (just read the title again): ALSO, your friends are toxic because of THEMSELVES. NOT because of you. Don't make me read shit like this ever again.

Uriel9/8/2018, 2:11:00 PM1 votes

I have the same problem, to be honest. My friend is an excellent midlane/jungler, but I sometimes just irritate myself that he invests so much time into flaming in chat while I keep telling him not to.

He's been banned for his toxic behavior already and I don't want him to end up that way again.