Conflicted and afraid of losing account.
Okay so starting this off, I am not the best player. I love playing this game because it gets my blood pumping and I generally have fun. But what really irks me is my ability or lack thereof, of playing PVP. I do play TTL because it's less complicated in terms of looking for area's that champions can ambush you in. But when it comes to SR, I pale at the thought of playing.
Today I decided to go against my fears and play SR Draft, but I was awarded with insults and reports at the end. I haven't played SR Draft in a very long time. I mostly stick to bots when I do play to get a better hand at things when I am rusty.
I was playing Xayah and had a Yuumi on my bot lane, there was a Twitch and Braum on my lane, Graves on the right low part of Jungle, Ziggs in mid and Ornn on top. It started out slow but alright. But it became very iffy after that.
I do acknowledge the fact that those whom I was fighting against are extremely better at the game then me, and I wanted to compliment them even if I was the biggest feed on the team unintentionally. But most of them were the flamers.
They kept coming from behind me and killing me and I wasn't mad. It was extremely clever, and I am a low process type player sometimes. But it kept happening even when I tried my best to fight back. I asked for help several times but the only person that came was the Graves and he wasn't the best player either. The Ziggs came maybe like twice in the whole match and the Ornn didn't come at all.
There were a few times that the Graves asked for help and only either me or the Yuumi came the most. One time the Ziggs actually came but we were slaughtered because the whole team was there. Then everyone decided to leave me on bottom lane alone, even my support. I decided after that point that I should defend my tower but even then I kept getting killed. I knew I didn't have the ability nor gold to fight them off and kill them, and I had expected even a little bit of help. But it was extremely sparse.
It got to the point where the whole team was just feeding off me because they knew that I wasn't good. And might I add that I haven't played SR Draft in months. So I hardly knew what I was doing in the first place and I was trying my hardest to be as quick enough to get out which didn't work.
It ended with us surrendering and then almost half of the team decides to roast me. I had 12 deaths. I admit that I was bad but I had hardly any help in a game that depends on teamwork. People said they reported me for feeding and I pale at the thought of losing my account of which I put so much money in regarding champions, skins etc.
I want to be able to play SR or Ranked, or even something PVP, but not if it's going to lose me my account. I'm not a toxic player either. I don't like talking crap to others, I try to give out tips even though I know they are better than me. I don't want to fight or call others names because that would make me feel bad. I don't like to mute either because what if that teammate needs help and doesn't ping?
I know I am bad, but I don't think I deserved what I got.