a different point of view

do you ever see your teamates raging at each other in chat saying toxic things to each other and you just sit in your lane laughing because you winning? yeah i now see how sometimes when i am playing and i am the one feeding and being toxic to my teamates. i was not like this when i first got back into league at the beginning of this year lol but for some reason i have made myself become even more depressed and not generally having fun playing the game anymore. maybe im just playing to competitive to get back to plat before i quit in season 6. i never was toxic or said mean things to my teamates but i got placed in silver 1 and i noticed every game teamates just are way more toxic in the lower elo bracket compared to a plat level player... soon i found myself in gold 5 in a never ending circle from going to gold 4 promos to losing 5 games in a row, then back to promos and the same thing and i have made it to gold 3 in this never ending toxic circle of every game someone being toxic to someone else or someone blaming someone else, i guess in the whole jist of it all this all seemed normal to me now where every game someone would just say pls 9x teemo inting, i guess you do pick up on bad habits from being used to the same thing every game right? yeah i admit it, i started to become toxic as soon as i hit gold. i never noticed it tho i just felt like it was "ok" because everyone does it right? well i guess im wrong. but in a way im kinda glad this happened to me, im going to learn from this and i will try and be a better summoner when i return on my account.

TLDR; picked up on toxic lower gold/silver habits after not playing for 2 years when i was a little bit higher mmr - plat 3, got used to being toxic every game and got the 14 day bannerino for toxic :'( happy though because maybe i needed a break from being to competitive and just being angry with myself and taking it out on other people. sorry community.