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I need advice helping a toxic friend

El Psy Kongrooo·2/14/2019, 9:36:36 PM·1 votes·2,736 views

So I recently added a random account that added me, and in the voice chat, immediately realized it was someone I used to ranked years ago with. I had thought he quit league, because I never saw him on anymore, but it turns out he got banned typing something horrible. He was really bad about getting angry and screaming in voice chat, but he never used to type, and flame our allies. I stopped playing league ranked for a couple seasons, just finishing placements, and I think I'm kinda responsible for him raging in chat, because he couldn't complain to me about it, like usual. That being said though, he is even more toxic, and even when in voice chat, he will type in chat to take jabs at our jungler, which normally makes jungle ignore his lane while he feeds. I'm not sure if I should continue to help him, or cut ties with him completely, because he really does ruin the game for me sometimes. His highest rank was Plat, but he is hardcore losing/trolling stuck in silver 4, and is a support main. He abuses his adc every game in chat! I can't think of a way to help him, besides maby, sitting down on voice chat, and talking to him to see what's going on, and trying to delicately tell him he is being toxic, and ruining our games.

   As an example, he made our jungler DC from a game in  ranked, when he told him, he should have been swallowed.....  Kayn had tried to gank bottom, and was 3 0 at the time, but had engaged on the enemies under tower right as Warwick was coming in for a gank. Leading to a triple kill, and horrendous flame. He helped me mid, camping, and winning my lane(I was a Zoe vs a Yas 1 trick!). My friend constantly harasses him, constantly telling him he needs to set up a tent bot, when they are pushing under enemy tower 24/7. Thanks for reading, and any advice will help.

8 Comments

ModPrandine2/14/2019, 9:56:03 PM3 votes

There was this person in Wizard101 (an MMORPG) that I'd known for a long time who, after getting Open Chat (more freedom to say things than Text Chat and Menu Chat) was quite rude and disrespectful for a time (this was before I got Open Chat myself and still had Text Chat), at first to me (gloating about how it was fun to say things I couldn't see), but mostly to other random people (and yes, I did report him for it when he did act up).

Eventually I told him something along the lines of "look, I've been keeping you on my list in light of our past friendship. But I warn you, continuing to behave the way you've been lately will result in me removing you from my list." That in combination with him actually receiving a punishment (which he later admitted to me and even said that me reporting him was the right call when he asked if I did it) was enough of a wake-up call for him to apologize as it forced him to reevaluate his behavior. Since then I've never had any issues with him being disrespectful to me or others.

I would say to confront him on his behavior and warn him that if he keeps acting up that you will be forced to cut ties with him altogether. If you're lucky and he truly values your friendship he'll take that as a wake-up call to clean up his act before it's too late. It worked for me so it might work for you too.

GatekeeperTDS2/14/2019, 9:44:40 PM2 votes

You aren't responsible for making him act this way. If you like him as a friend and want to play non-ranked games with him, that might be a good solution, but you aren't obligated to play ranked (or any mode) with your friends just because they're your friends.

Kei1432/14/2019, 9:53:54 PM2 votes

Hmm ... one way I can think of is to use yourself as a sponge and deflect everything he has onto yourself.

By that I mean to ask him to coach you, so you become better at LoL. So you duo with him (maybe as bot lane), and whenever something goes wrong, you ask him what could you have done better in an objective manner. Is it the positioning? Is the the trading? Is it the back timing? Is it the micro-side of the team fight?

Ask him in game, and then get him to review the game with you after the match. So if there is anything that can't be explained in game, you defer the anger to the post game analysis. Also ask him in game what can be done next within the game to win the macro mid/late game.

Through him being analytical, feeling important, and more objective focused, he may learn to stop being toxic. But that method puts a huge burden onto yourself. So if you are willing to take on that baton, then see if he'll do it.

Personally, if I see someone who is toxic in my friend's list, I immediately unfriend and block them.

R107 Games2/14/2019, 9:52:45 PM1 votes

If he wants to be toxic let him be toxic. Don't try to change someone's personality.

If you don't like how he behaves then you can either ask him to stop, or simply unfriend/don't play with him.

Quáx2/14/2019, 10:01:36 PM1 votes

Unfriend the guy. Unless you know him personally, adding toxic people in a game like this will hurt you more than him. Because eventually, you'll snap at him, leading to a big ass argument. Might as well just unfriend him or block him without any notice. Its what's best for you in the long run.

El Psy Kongrooo2/15/2019, 6:01:39 PM1 votes

Thanks guys, I decided to sit down and just talk with him on league about what had been going on. Apparently he had a close family member die (Not going to give out who in the family for privacy reasons.) He stopped flaming people in chat now, but still rages in voice chat, which is fine, and I can put up with that. I do still feel like he tilts easily, (one death caused by a teammate not reacting the way he wants, and he is full tilt), but that is something he just needs to improve upon, and we already talked about it. I had no idea he was having such a rough time in real life, but I adamantly told him if he kept dissing our teammates I would unfriend, and report him.