I love this game. But.

I love league of legends. I've loved it from the minute I started playing. I've always loved playing my main man as some luck adc's support. But I just played a game that made me tilt harder than I ever have before and I realized that this game has more control of me than I do of it.

Losing feels awful. Like there was no chance from the start. Winning feels unsatisfactory too. I don't know why.

I left this game for three months and came back recently. I've been playing for a couple of weeks and I'm beginning to remember why I stopped in the first place. I've played this game for too long. I've already convinced myself that "I've played this game for 4 years why am I losing" is an ok philosophy.

I remember a time where league was fun. I didn't care about winning or losing. All I cared about the shenanigans that would happen in game while playing with my friends. League of legends is the only thing I've ever been truly addicted to. It's become unhealthy for me.

I don't want to be mad while playing this game. There is no reason to be.

At the end of the day I can't blame anyone. I can't blame my teammates, the community or riot itself. I am solely responsible for distorting my view of this game and failing to improve as a player.

I'm saying goodbye to league of legends for a while. Because I love this game, but I want to experience it as a NEW player again.

Thanks for reading.