I used to be extremely toxic on my first account, I wont lie. It got permabanned.
I was negative
I was a flamer
I was the "ff at 20" guy
I was even like that on this account for a while
but I'm not anymore.
The reason I was such a dick in-game was due to my real life being completely terrible. The main cause of this was my own mother.
Now I know what you're thinking; "Oh he's some pissy little teen thats bitching because he didnt get this months new Iphone"
wrong.
My mother was an extremely abusive and manipulative person, who MULTIPLE TIMES sent her OWN mother (my grandmother) to the hospital due to mental breakdowns and told me STRAIGHT to my face that her life was more important than mine will ever be, and this was when I was about 14.
She would constantly insult me, scream at me for literal hours if I so much as washed the dishes in the wrong side of the sink, she would throw objects at me, she would go into fits of psychopathic rage and break everything around her, smashing mirrors, throwing things, destroying all of MY belongings to deliberately hurt me, then trying to say her doing that was all my fault. She would only buy clothes that have holes in them for me from places like salvation army, then insult me by telling me I dressed like a slob and that I was disgusting. She would literally frame me for stealing things (like money or medicine) from other members of my family that we lived with to get me in trouble, then she would laugh at me about it when they were gone. She made living conditions unbearable (I was forced to live in a rat and roach-infested house when I'm allergic to both, just smelling a rat or roach can give me an asthma attack). All of this sent me into a severe crippling depression that was so bad I was contemplating suicide.
Then she got on drugs and everything got 10x worse with her and me and my family had to kick her out WHILE she was making death threats to all of us. I had to live with that monster for 22 years (I'm now 22, we kicked her out for good about 2 months ago) and yes, monster, I no longer talk to her, I no longer have anything to do with her and I'm keeping it that way.
Now that she's gone I've actually been an extremely happy person and I'm getting along with almost everyone (except the occasional troll) and I've been having a lot better games. I'm making tons of new friends left and right, and I have a much better outlook on life.
I really don't know what to say, seeing a "reformed player" post today just really made me feel like sharing this.
If anyone else is going through something like I went through, I can only say try to make some friends. I know it might be hard, but just trust me. While I was going through all this I only had 1 true friend, Tyler, and hanging out with him every day made life worth living. Sadly me and him no longer get along due to ME having a mental breakdown finally after years of torture from my mother and taking it out on him, but I don't think he's ever truly realized that I most likely wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him being my friend.
