Banned for joking with my duo friend in ARAM

Layorz··2 votes·590 views

So here I was playing an aram with a friend. We joke at each others expense, we mock each other, we have a sense of humour that is pretty typically boyish, we rib each other and just have a laugh.

Early on, like 2 minutes into the aram, I was throwing some pokes, and I ate a few skillshots, so my mate started pinging me back. Being that it was my mate, I just said "kys" to him a couple times jokingly. Of course, the Nasus on our team was telling me to back too and immediately said "reported" and then said he muted me before I could say I was talking to my friend that I was queued with. I had no chance to say "Hey sorry but I'm talking to a friend". The guy muted me instantly upon incorrectly thinking I was mocking him. Throughout the game I then had little interaction with anyone, beyond the occasional message to my mate, such as laughing about a few of our bad calls and deaths. I called our nasus "poor susan" when he got caught and I couldnt save him, and he then said that he muted me at the start and that he would report me again, to which I said to my friend "you reckon he muted me after I said susan?". The enemy EZ tried to make a move and Nasus absolutely deleted him, so I said EZ got fucked up. After that I said nothing, and we played for another 10 minutes or so before the game ended. I said nothing in the lobby. Not even 20 minutes later I receive a ban with this game and the dialogue from it being the only thing on the reform card. I mean, the actual "offensive words" I said were "kys" twice to my friend, and "fucked" when referring to ez getting wrecked. Nothing else I said was negative, and I wasn't talking to anyone else except my friend in the game with me.

I honestly feel like this was a case of someone just being a tad sensitive and assuming that I was being toxic to him, when I was just playing a fun game with my friend. I spent the whole game just playing properly and if it weren't for my mate playing with me, I would have honoured NAsus because of a few sick plays he made. The guy muted me from minute 2 for something I said to my own friend, and I still enjoyed the game with him. But he's just completely victimized himself here at my expense, when all I was doing is joking with my mate the same way I always have in every game, and had Nasus even once asked if I was talking to him, I would have said no. But I didn't get the chance.

I know what kind of sympathy I'll get for posting this, but I've been waiting 11 hours so far. So I'm just sitting waiting for a ticket response, expecting to get told there's nothing that can be done. I think it's a bit rough to have essentially had someone mistakenly take offense to me and get me banned when I wasn't even talking to the guy. This guy didn't clarify who I was even talking to, and then muted me removing any chance of me explaining that I'm just talking to a friend. I wasn't attacking anyone, I wasn't being toxic to my team mates, I wasn't insulting them, I didn't ping spam, I wasn't even talking to the guy that's reported me. My reform card, which I can post later (at work atm..) has like 8 lines of dialogue, and once you have the context that every thing I said was directly to my own friend with no attempt to insult or mock anyone with any kind of toxicity, I just don't see how this warrants such a heavy punishment - especially as I've made a lot of effort to be a better player since I last got a reform card in april 2016.

33 Comments

Chermorg5 votes

Just how you don't go to the store/movie theater expecting to have to hear a couple loudly shouting offensive things at each other, people don't play league to see the same. If you did it in a store/movie theater, you'd be asked to leave by a manager - it's not anyone's job/responsibility to first ask you to change. It's your responsibility to be considerate of the public environment you're in and speak accordingly.

As others say, you should utilize private forms of communication (PM in League, voice chat, PM off-game, texting/phone call) to talk to your friends if you think what you're going to say could be construed as offensive.

Layorz2 votes

A store or movie theatre doesn't give you the option to select a setting that blocks out what you don't want to hear. They're also not like to ban you for life just cause one person overheard you tell a friend to f off. Seeing a single word you don't like isn't good justification for an instant mute and report without considering any context at all

Mizuki Zahra1 votes

/msg /r

Layorz1 votes

What you have just said here has more negativity behind it than anything I said in that game, which was all said in good spirit and with a smile on my face

Mizuki Zahra1 votes

You can private message ur friend in game then use /r to reply that way if people don't have u muted ur not hurting them

Layorz1 votes

I can indeed and people can use the block/mute function if the letters I've used are hurting them

Mizuki Zahra2 votes

Or you can spare them ur harassment

Layorz1 votes

It's not harassment to make a joke with my friend with zero reference to anyone else in the game. A single instance of anything is not harassment, harassment requires repeated action. You are deliberately misrepresenting my situation and I don't appreciate that level of callous trolling. Go away. My experience has been negative enough without bored posters like yourself being condescending to me

Chermorg3 votes

But it is. You're subjecting others to you and your friend's private discussions when they didn't sign up for it.. It's like if you start having a phone conversation in public and you're screaming in your phone for a long time. It's annoying and people don't have to put up with it in a game they play for fun.


I will also add a caution - please do not delve into personally attacking each other. Comment on the content, not on the people discussing it. If you have any questions or concerns about what is acceptable/not, please visit us in the Moderation Discord here.

Mizuki Zahra4 votes

Suicide isn't something to make fun of it has no place here

Layorz1 votes

I wasn't making fun of suicide, thanks

Mizuki Zahra2 votes

You told him to kys did you intend hard or was it playful. Either way one way it's bad

Layorz1 votes

I said "kys" to my friend, playfully. I didn't say it to the person who reported me, and the person who reported me muted me immediately after saying "kys" to my friend meaning I couldn't even say sorry to the person for offending him. I literally said nothing to the guy who reported me the entire game

Mizuki Zahra2 votes

You don't understand and you never will if you think that is funny I bid you a pleasant cr

Layorz1 votes

Dude, find something better to do with your time. You are welcome to stop replying and do something constructive with yourself. Leave me alone

Imperial Pandaa3 votes

Here, I will reveal the secret of jabbing at your friends and not getting in trouble for it.

Ready?

Use a voice comm. Not like there aren't plenty of free ones. Use discord, don't type the jabs at them.

Layorz1 votes

I appreciate the feedback and will just say that in a house of 8 people using the same net, I find it easier to type to friends in games than to add to any latency and delay that could be caused by skype or vent or anything. It's just personally suits me

Imperial Pandaa2 votes

That's your choice. Although I don't find much latency issues when using discord.

Although to be fair there is only 3 of us in the house, although we all use 2 or 3 tech net items at the same time. (3 only if you count phones being connected but idle most times.)

Icy Hot Shoto3 votes

Then you'll want to talk to them through the private messages while in games with them if not a 5-man premade.

Telling people to kill themselves isn't tolerated, which you've now just learned.

Layorz1 votes

I shouldn't have to, thanks

Voldymort1 votes

I shouldn't have to, thanks

why shouldn't you? you think you're special or something?

https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/antigod/images/6/65/Death_a_la_Julian_Richings.png/revision/latest?cb=20140321195527

"you have an inflated sense of your own importance" - Death, Supernatural

Timethief492 votes

Except of when you are 5men premade you should other Communication Services. Other players might Not be into the same Humor or See ist as Humor and Report it. If you want to discuss if the punishment was justified either Post your chatlogs here or write a ticket to the Riot Games Support.

Layorz1 votes

I would gladly change how I speak should someone not like it, but I also love it when I am actually given the chance to change what I'm doing if what I am doing is bothering someone. An instant mute and report has robbed me of any chance of explanation and reconciliation with the player which I would have liked to do, as I enjoyed playing with him. I'll put chat logs from my reform card up when I am at home as I don't think I can from here? The reform card wasn't emailed to me and isn't attached to my ticket.

SavageConcordia2 votes

start the game by sending a message to them using the "/w(their name)" command and then every time you want to talk to your friend just reply back and forth with the "/r" command.

Layorz1 votes

This is a good idea, I find it sad that it's so required because of the potential of conversations being reported and punished out of context with little care about it

Beas7ie1 votes

"KYS" is taken extremely seriously and even if "joking" you're still going to get hit with the harsh 14 day ban. Even if you're just joking the system doesn't know or care. Think if it as one of the things you don't joke about.

Kind of like how it's a bad idea to "joke" about bombs at an airport unless you want to be locked up in a back room for a long talk with security and police.

Layorz1 votes

Sorry I don't agree with the idea that you can't joke about certain things at risk of offending someone. Context matters. I shouldn't have to modify how I speak to my own friends because someone else might overhear it and get upset. Toxicity aimed at someone is one thing, three letter anagrams used as a joke with a duo'd partner is another and conflating them is just sad.

Beas7ie1 votes

{quoted}

Sorry I don't agree with the idea that you can't joke about certain things at risk of offending someone. Context matters. I shouldn't have to modify how I speak to my own friends because someone else might overhear it and get upset. Toxicity aimed at someone is one thing, three letter anagrams used as a joke with a duo'd partner is another and conflating them is just sad.

I'm not the one who makes these rules, that's all from Rito, but when you play the game and use their chat system you need to follow them if you don't want to get punished.

If you want to joke with friends in ways that would be against the rules with in game chat then use Skype, or Discord or some other system to communicate. Saying "kys" where 3 other people can see(and 8 if it's /all) is just going to get you in trouble again.

Also keep in mind that the 14 day ban is the "last warning" ban so ANY punishment, even one that would normally result in a mild "Hey don't do that anymore" 10 game chat restriction will get immediately escalated to a perma ban.

zPOOPz1 votes

There is a time and place for such "jokes" with your friend(s), namely in the privacy of your personal space. However, when you share a public space with other people (e.g. the in-game chat) who are not your friend(s), there is an unspoken etiquette that you don't cross the line into unacceptable territories (vulgarities, sexism, racial slurs, excessive cussing, etc.) with your jokes where others (not your friend(s) had to read/listen to them.

Just because you directed your jokes/toxicity at someone else still mean you are creating a negative gaming experience for everyone who had to read it. Next time, use private chat or private voice comm (the keyword being PRIVATE).

In any case, you may find some leniency with support ticket if you have a clean history. Good luck! You give me the vibe that this is unlikely to be repeated in the future.

Layorz1 votes

The thing is that I wasn't really being vulgar or sexist or racist or using excessive cussing. Once I post the reform card, you'll see that quite literally the extent of any potential negativity (if you ignore context) is "kys" twice and "ez got fucked up" once. I wish I had the opportunity to actually respond to the reporters concern, but it was an immediate mute and report so what could I do?

zPOOPz2 votes

You sound sincere so far and I do hope you find some leniency (maybe reduce to CR or something), but you need to take this as a lesson. If you are in a restaurant and you said "killing yourself" to in a voice everyone can hear (e.g. everyone on the team can read your chat), you are going to see people turn their heads to look at you incredulously. It is because that is not something to joke about. It is a serious issue that is taken seriously in real life. People can and had gotten into troubles for it.

Read at your leisure: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-it-a-crime-to-encourage-suicide-unusual-massachusetts-case-of-conrad-roy-and-michelle-carter/

While kys is nowhere this extreme, it is in the same vein that the connotation is not acceptable in game or in real life.

When you are in private chat or private comm, you can use it all you like as long as the people in that space don't mind it. It is extremely risky to use it in public space (in-game chat) where you don't know who your target audience are....

Layorz1 votes

I mean, it's one thing to have a full blown conversation in which you're actively telling someone to get in a car and asphyxiate themself. We're in an online game in which killing each others avatars is the entire point. It's really hard for me to swallow that telling a friend in an online game to die is a bannable offense. I mean, if I had dropped a hundred cuss words telling him "f*$%ing kill yourself you b!&$@" I would understand, that's in your face and very offensive no matter who says it. That's beyond joking. I used to be that guy, but I've changed as the system in LoL has changed and while I joke with mates, I try to keep it clean and to not offend anyone. But this was 6 letters two minutes in to the game and it's utterly ruined my week

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