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I became an horrible person by playing

Van der Bares·8/13/2019, 10:33:09 PM·1 votes·1,402 views

For some reason i cant play this game anymore without roasting my teammates asses with constant flame and rage spreading. Most of times I´m telling them the right things, but in the wrong way. I mean, I could be kind and polite when explaining mistakes or asking for specifics plays that only I on my team I´m able to see. But no, just pure rage and hate overload on every single word I type.

And thats confusing, i never was much of a speaker, not even irl. And suddenly I feel the need to make everyone feel extremely bad and hurt their mental health as much as I can for their mistakes. I dont think i care about the outcome of my games anymore, it seems like everything i care about is just destroying other players experience and hopes to climb. And thats sad. And exhausting.

Sad, because i just sink my MMR and chance to enjoy the game in the process. I´m a player who could just have fun while climbing to Diamond thanks to macro a decisions making - not higher due to average mechanics and not sticking to meta picks - and instead i choose do hold myself back to screw other players. Exhausting because of how bad makes me feel to waste my time this way, it just burns me. My potential as a player wasted, my time as a person wasted, and most important, getting rid of my own personality guided by pure hate and rage.

Is just a game and stuff, but i dont like who i am while playing. Not now, this doesnt represent the kind of player i always was.

4 Comments

Zombie Gerbil8/13/2019, 10:59:36 PM2 votes

It's not the game, it's just you don't have the self-control of respecting and acknowledging that you're dealing with real people. It's so easy to just flip out on people when all you see are texts and pixels. So don't blame the game for your personal problem. Acknowledge that you have a problem and fix that problem by getting help and sorting your out your hobbies. What you do in this game to other players you will do in other games if you have the ability to do so. You are who are you are and you are what you become.

That's all to it. Period. Find a game that is more suitable for your self-control. Like RPG or something. More single players or a game that doesn't involve communications or teamwork.

Good luck and goodbye.

Tele II8/14/2019, 2:01:55 AM1 votes

Meh. Its not really indicative of being a horrible person. Maybe a bit of an asshole, but thats not the worst thing and certainly doesnt make you a horrible person. It just means you dont meet the standards of Riots specific rule set. Dont take their rules as a standard of morality. However, if it fills you with shame, but you keep doing it, thats something a psychologist would probably have to analyze. I cant really speak on that. Probably some sort of chemical release while you're doing it, idk. It could be projecting, it could be that thing like how some homophobic people think if they acted gay, they would get made fun of, and perhaps have been in the past, so they feel they need to make fun of others for doing something that they got made fun of for doing. Idk man im just talking out my ass at this point.

Aladoron8/14/2019, 11:20:24 AM1 votes

Well, first of all, talking shit in a video game does not make you a horrible person at all. (If you intentionally lose games, that's another thing, then you are trash).

Kind of a similar thing happened to me as well. But the reason for that was that i felt like one individual players (if the opposing laner is also decent) has almost no impact on the game. The games are decided usually by one lane being boosted and gettin' stomped. You can go even on your lane, get 1-2 kills ahead, maybe even take first turret, but if your other lane dies 10 times during this, then the game is lost. It ofc works the other way around too. You can lose by 20 CS, and 2 deaths, if one of your teammates gets 10 kills because his opposing laners is a boosted ape, then you win, and thats all. Sometimes you will get the boosted ape on the opposing lane and you will carry, but is it fun to beat an easy bot? :\

So i think the feeling that the games are coinflips of who has the worse teammate is really killing the fun. Your botlane gave double to the enemy adc in 3 mins? Good luck coming back... Also, there are a shitton of trolls and boosted noobs, who just have no idea how to play.

TLDR: Matches are not fair, nor fun anymore. Or at least this is what it felt like for me.